Strictly Forbidden (22 page)

He took her hand. “You are beautiful. And smart and fun, and women dislike that in
other women.”

She looked at him as if he’d lost his mental facilities.

“It’s true,” he asserted. “They are jealous creatures and their claws show when they
believe they’ve been outdone.”

Her dubious expression told Gavin she didn’t believe a single word he said, which
was foolish. He believed, at least in part, her beauty drove the vicious taunts from
other women.

The other part was, unfortunately, her heritage and that nasty scandal she’d gotten
herself into. Why had she lain with Lord Vance?

Kira shook her head. “These were lovely women who, I’m sure, are perfectly talented
and charming.”

At today’s gathering, that was likely. Fleetingly he wondered if Cordelia had participated
in some of the disparaging chatter. He sighed, deciding that, too, was likely. He
did not enjoy everything about her, but she would make him an advantageous wife.

He took one of Kira’s hands in his, annoyed that her gloves came between his skin
and hers. “Even if they were talented and charming, you cannot allow their opinions
to matter so deeply.

“They accused me of incest with Darius!”

Gavin recoiled. Appalled, his jaw dropped. Such taunts were even beneath what he’d
imagined—and completely malicious. He clamped down on his temper, resolved to help
Kira now.

“Nothing they say or do can take away all the qualities you possess. Ever.” He squeezed
her hand. “I think you’re wonderful just as you are.”

The blooming smile on Kira’s face eased the crush of his concern. He smiled back,
wishing like hell he could kiss her.

“Gavin?” he heard Aunt Caroline call moments later from the next room.

He rose quickly to intercept his aunt before she found him comforting Kira. Lord knew
how he would stop her ranting after witnessing that. Gavin was in no mood to hear
her today.

He held Kira’s hand. “Think about what I’ve said. You’re everything those women are
and probably more.”

As he left the billiard room, he glanced back. The gratitude on Kira’s face did not
surprise him. But the affection there grabbed at him, roused him, and made him aware
that, even though he needed Kira to disappear from their lives, he believed everything
he’d said to her.

* * * *

Kira lay in bed, still against the cool sheets, cloaked in darkness. Rain pattered
against her window in a light rap she normally found soothing.

Tonight nothing soothed her.

The three ladies’ comments still made her ache. But they did not rob her of sleep.
Instead, the culprit was a myriad of feelings that tumbled inside her, a tangle of
wants and yearnings, a jumble of adoration and impossible longings. They filled her
with tumult. And these emotions centered around Gavin.

Could it be love? Kira didn’t know, as she had never found herself in such a state,
but she assumed so, given the turmoil in her head and heart.

She must love him.

It was foolish, of course. But she could find no other explanation. She thought about
him constantly, enjoyed the time she spent with him, admired his fine form, stood
breathless whenever he came near. She liked him, found him funny and kind and tender
of late. Even more, he’d proven in her uncle’s billiard room that he understood her.
If he thought she was perfectly wonderful as she was, then he accepted her. She’d
been looking for such consideration her whole life! Without question, she could picture
herself by his side for the rest of their days, sharing laughter and the joys of children.

Sighing, she treasured the image for a few moments, letting it shine in her imagination.
Warmth filled her, a momentary pleasure bursting with contentment.

Kira drew in another breath, damp with rain, cold with a spring chill. Reality intruded.
What of Lady Litchfield? Even more pressing, in three days, Kira was supposed to marry
James.

Was it a mistake? Had meeting James merely been a path to Gavin? Had Fate more in
store for her than a loveless marriage? While she valued James’s friendship and was
forever grateful for his assistance, she so much wanted love. Was Gavin the answers
to all her heart’s prayers? Kira had no idea
and no notion how to discover the truth.

She wished Darius were here so she could talk to him. Her brother seemed to believe
Gavin had some interest in her beyond a familial connection. Her heart raced at the
thought. Darius clearly thought Gavin had no honorable intentions where she was concerned,
but the tenderness on his face earlier today had seemed so real. He seemed a far cry
from the haughty duke she had met on her first day at Norfield Park, thank goodness.

Rolling over, Kira punched her pillow. Did Gavin share her feelings? That question
was even more difficult to answer. The sincerity in his eyes, and yesterday in his
voice, all hinted at his caring. But did he admire her as someone who would soon be
a sister to him? Or had he, like her, fallen in love while they spent time together
in the name of family harmony?

Oh, would that she knew the answer!

Maybe she could discern it. Kira sat straight up in bed. Yes, she would find Gavin
tomorrow and ascertain his feeling for her… somehow. Certainly some opportunity would
present itself.

Once she knew Gavin’s feelings, then her path would become clear. And she would act
accordingly.

In her body’s effort to make up for her midnight restlessness, Kira overslept. When
she opened a groggy eye and realized the hour to be much closer to noon than dawn,
she shrieked and hopped out of bed.

Drat! The rest of the household would be up now, and the special time that she and
Gavin often shared in the early morning had long ago passed. Kira hoped she could
still find him alone somewhere and could discover the answer to the question that
burned in her mind: did he love her?

After a very quick morning toilet, Kira emerged to find Gavin had gone somewhere with
Mr. Taylor, Lady Madeline’s husband. Their railroad was due to open in just over three
weeks. James did not know when Gavin would return.

Kira’s heart burst with curiosity and tumult—and guilt. While James did not love her,
he had extended her an honorable offer of marriage. She had accepted it. And she should
honor her promises. Yet… James only married her out of pity. If she could find love
with Gavin, why should she and James be bound for life when their only motivations
to join were sympathy and desperation?

And dare she forget Darius’s warning that Gavin wanted her, but not for marriage?

Confused, Kira wandered into the withdrawing room. James sat inside, Bible open. She
lowered herself to a pale green chaise that was fast becoming her household haunt.
She contemplated her next act, biting her lip. On the chair beside her, James spoke
of what he must do to establish his parish in Tunbridge Wells after their marriage.
She nodded politely where appropriate.

Within minutes, Kira heard the boom of a male voice at the front door. She rose, heart
beating. Had Gavin returned so quickly?

Racing to the parlor door, she nearly collided with Gavin’s butler. He stepped back
and pulled on his lapels while stiffening his ancient spine. His lined face sagged
with disapproval.

“A Mr. Burgess here to see you, Miss Melbourne.”

Mr. Burgess here?

“Who is Mr. Burgess?” James queried, standing behind her.

Kira turned, her mind racing. Was Darius hurt? Ill?

“He is a friend of my brother’s. In fact, Darius informed me that he would be with
Mr. Burgess for the next few weeks in Yorkshire.”

Kira turned to find James wearing a puzzled expression. “But Mr. Burgess is here.”

“Exactly.” Kira nodded to the butler. “Please show him in right away.”

After seating herself, Kira fidgeted until Mr. Burgess entered the room. Sunlight
slanted through the windows
and
onto the young man’s craggy countenance. He had a Northman’s manner, simple in dress
and plain in speech. Kira had always liked him.

“Miss Melbourne.” He greeted her with a nod. “Good to see you.”

“And you. How is your wife?”

Mr. Burgess ran his fingers through his thinning dark hair. “Quite well. Exp
ec
ting a babe come July.”

“Excellent news.” Kira chafed against the chatter. If the man had come to tell her
something dreadful had happened to her brother, why did he not just spit it out?

But Mr. Burgess seemed disinclined to say much of anything. Kira filled the silence.
“This is my fiancé, Mr. James Howland.”

Burgess stepped forward and greeted James. After a hearty handshake that nearly made
James wince, they all sat.

“It’s wonderful to see you,” said Kira. “Though I understood from my brother that
you were in Yorkshire.”

Her guest shook his head. “I won’t return there until next month. Got business here
for now.”

“I see,” she murmured, though she did not. “Have you recently been in Yorkshire?”

Again, the man shook his head. Kira began to worry.

“Do you know the famous barrister Mr. Farrow?”

The question clearly puzzled her visitor. “In passing.”

So, Mr. Farrow wasn’t a wonderful friend of Mr. Burgess. And likely the barrister
hadn’t gone to Yorkshire, either. Which meant Darius had lied to her. Worse, she feared
she knew why. “You have not seen my brother of late, have you?”

Burgess leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees, hunching his hulking shoulders.
“Nearly a week past.”

“Do you know where he is?”

“That is why I came to see you,” Burgess confessed. “When Darius last visited me,
he asked me to care for you should anything happen to him.”

Kira gasped, suddenly chilled to her core. “Dear God.”

“What’s that you say?” James queried.

The man went on. “Darius swore me to silence, but I could keep this to myself no longer.
He’s left London. I think he’s bound for Cornwall, based on a letter he intercepted.
It was addressed to a Mrs. Linde, but I do not know who she is.”

“Who wrote the letter?” Kira asked, fearing Mr. Burgess would utter the one name that
had recently caused her such grief.

“He did not say.”

The man’s tight-lipped reply did not satisfy her.

“But…”

Burgess hesitated, shrugged, then sighed. “I suspect it was from Lord Vance.”

Panic crept inside her. Darius had not forgotten Lord Vance’s perfidy. He’d only pursued
it secretly, even lying to her so she would be unaware of his plans. And he’d been
clutching a letter in his fist when he announced his departure.

Kira clasped trembling hands together, fighting tears. “Why could Darius not let the
matter be? Doesn’t he realize that pursuing Lord Vance is… Oh, it’s dangerous.”

In fact, she knew personally that the man carried a terrible looking knife. She suspected
from his ease with the weapon that he knew how to use it quite well.

Around her, James and Mr. Burgess said nothing.

“I’m so grateful that you came to me with the truth,” she said to her brother’s friend.
“I’m sure it was a difficult decision to break your promise.”

Mr. Burgess nodded as he rose to his feet. “But I think it was the right one.”

Across the mahogany library table, Kira rose as well. “I just hope we’re not too late
to save him from something rash.”

* * * *

Once Mr. Burgess left, Kira turned to James. The concern on his face told her he grasped
the situation perfectly.

“Why would Darius do such a thing?”

James placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “He loves you. Perhaps he believes he
has information to discredit Lord Vance.”

Kira was sure he believed that. The stubborn fool. “Even if he does, it will hardly
signify once—
”
she and James wed.

Kira stumbled, stopped. This morning’s dilemma returned in full force. Gavin. His
feelings. Her decision. Lord, could this day get any more complicated?

“Once we’re married, I know,” James finished for her. “But if he is in danger…”

“I’m certain he is. Lord Vance said nothing to me of his
dealings during our elopement.” In truth, she’d suspected within hours that he had
no intent to marry her. But to this day, she did not understand why he had kept her
against her will or for what reason he had proposed in deception. His insistent, intimate
examination to ensure her purity as his bride had been but one act in a list of humiliations.

She did know, however, that he possessed a nasty temper. And that he was most definitely
hiding something. Kira wished she knew what.

James released a heavy sigh. “Your brother’s intentions are pure.”

“And worrisome!” Appalling possibilities bombarded her. “What if Darius’s nobility
gets him hurt, or worse, killed?”