Authors: Lisanne Norman
* * *
"I've spoken to Raiban," said Rhyaz to Lijou. "She wanted an inventory of all our ships and other resources. I refused, and reminded her as you did, that we are independent of the Forces, not under her command. She's not going to leave it at that, Lijou. We're going to have serious trouble from that quarter."
"If my actions have added to our problems, so be it. I will not have that female threatening us like that," Lijou said, a trace of anger in his voice. "What do you plan to do about her?"
"I have no fault to find with your response, Lijou. I agree completely. I plan to return to Shola with all speed. We've a meeting scheduled at the Palace in four days. I've already spoken to Governor Nesul on the comm; we have his continued support, and that of Konis Aldatan as head of AlRel, but I'd prefer to discuss it in person with them both. I need you along to keep a mental ear on the proceedings. An Alliance fleet is being formed, based at Touiba and their colony world, Teesul, also at Shola and our last surviving colony, Khoma. The area is to be constantly patrolled. Raiban was demanding we hand over the
Va'Khoi,
but when I said it was already patrolling near Prime space and could easily take in the M'zullian section, Nesul and the other Ambassadors decided there was no need to put it or us under Raiban's control because of the way we'd handled the Prime crisis. I actually intend to deploy the
Va'Khoi
to Anchorage, and increase our presence there and at Haven since those are the outposts closest to all three Valtegan worlds. To that end, we need to keep many of our Sleepers awake and redirect some of our undercover Forces personnel to those outposts."
"Nesul contacted me yesterday," said Lijou. "He wants ten of our undercover people as staff for the new Ambassador to the Prime world. Doesn't want anyone the wiser as to who they are."
Rhyaz raised an eye ridge. "So much faith in us. I wonder why."
"Simple. Konis Aldatan. Nesul is an honorable male, Rhyaz. He pays his debts."
"Kusac is still a pivotal force in our world," he said thoughtfully.
"And a thorn in Raiban's side. When do we get the first of the technological upgrades that the Primes promised?"
"They left behind a small shuttle outfitted with their stealth technology and the plans for constructing it for ourselves. Our engineers here are on it already," said Rhyaz.
"What about that beam they used to pull in M'ezozakk's and Tirak's ships?"
"We're going to pursue that one, but they have given us an environmental controller that looks suspiciously like the one the Chemerians use— it lets us have individual rooms at different gravities. It occurs to me that those tree climbing so-called allies of ours must have gotten their claws on ancient Valtegan technology too and are keeping it to themselves. Oh, they also left us plans for stasis units. That's going to be useful. They use far less power than cryo units."
"We can't afford to replace every cryo unit with a stasis one," objected Lijou.
"Gradually, we can. But we can ensure all our ships have them. They want our help to train their younglings, so that's the payment I've demanded. It's in our own treaty with them."
"So it is, I forgot. I'm afraid my mind's not been on business lately, Rhyaz."
"That's understandable," said Rhyaz gently. "How are Kha'Qwa, and your son?"
"Both doing well now, thank Vartra," said Lijou, mouth opening in a slow smile. "N'Gaya and Noni agree that if she's doing as well tomorrow, she can leave the infirmary."
"That's wonderful news. I'll be home in time for your son's Validation, then."
"We wouldn't have it without you here."
Rhyaz inclined his head to one side in recognition of the honor. "I'll see you in three days, Lijou. Until then," he said, then signed off.
Shola, Aldatan Estate, Zhal-Zhalwae, 30th day (May)
"Hello, kitling," said Taizia, looking up from her comm unit as Kitra opened the door. "What brings you here so early? I thought you and Dzaka would be shopping for your bonding ceremony."
"We haven't set a date yet. Anyway, Dzaka didn't want me with him when he picked up the torc for me," she said, walking over to the chair on the other side of the desk from Taizia. Looking at her sister, she wondered again how they could be so different— Taizia taking after her father and Kusac with their midnight black pelts, and herself taking after their mother with a pelt the color of the estate corn in summer just before harvest. She strengthened her mental shields, anxious now the moment had come.
"He wants to surprise you, that's lovely," Taizia grinned up at her. "Give me a few minutes then I'll be through."
"What you doing?"
"I'm helping Mother by copying all the births of the midwinter festival cubs from the estate books into the database. Thirty-two so far, with another fifteen still to come. Apparently we're also in for a bumper harvest in crops and livestock. Father Ghyan was right, it was a good midwinter dance!"
"The clan flourishes," Kitra agreed, surprised that she hadn't needed to lead the conversation to this subject. "I suppose a lot of the cubs are second births."
"Not many. More are firstborns, actually. That's why I'm helping out— all new entries."
"Must be a lot of work, suddenly having a cub."
"Not really, kitling," she said, mouth dropping open in a broad smile as she looked briefly up at her younger sister. "I should know, after all. We're lucky, we have a nurse just as Kashini does and the large nursery here. That's why the estate has a communal nursery, to allow bonded parents to continue working or to give them some leisure time with other adults."
"Dzaka was brought up in a nursery and it was dreadful," she said, toying with the small comp pad on the desk. "He hated it."
"Our nursery is a far cry from the Arrazos', Kitra, I assure you. Why the interest?" She stopped dead, looking up at her. "You aren't! You can't be! Vanna gave you an implant the same day, even though you didn't show up as fully compatible!" She frowned, eye ridges meeting, nose wrinkling. "You didn't remove it, did you?"
"I didn't touch it," said Kitra, irritated, her hand involuntarily going to scratch her forearm where the implant was. "Why would you think I did?"
Taizia flicked her ears back, holding them there for a second or two in apology. "I'm sorry, it was unworthy of me to suggest that. I forget how adult you've become. You obviously think you might be pregnant, though, don't you?"
Kitra looked down at the desk and the comp pad, unable to hold her sister's penetrating gaze. "I don't know, that's why I came to you." She looked up, trying not to tremble. "This must be between us, Taizia. I haven't said anything to Dzaka, or anyone."
"But how could you be pregnant? Surely Vanna checked you before inserting the contraceptive?"
"The genetic test, yes, but that was all. And, as you said, it showed I wasn't yet compatible."
"If your genetic change was rapid, faster than Vanna anticipated..." said Taizia slowly. "Hours rather than days, then you could be. Usually the couples are genetically compatible before they Link, but you and Dzaka— it was so sudden."
"And ordained by Vartra," Kitra said quietly. "Dzaka wasn't a telepath, only an empath till then. Remember, Father heard Vartra's voice, too."
"Oh, kitling," she said, getting to her feet and coming round to hug her. "What're you going to do if you are?"
"I don't know," said Kitra, relieved that she'd finally told someone her fears. She clutched her sister tightly as she rested her head against her chest. "But I won't see Vanna about it."
"You must know for sure. You can't just wait. By then it'll be too late to terminate if that's what you decide."
"It's already too late," she whispered, feeling her eyes filling with tears. "It's been nearly two weeks, but I didn't know. It's just a feeling I have. It could be my imagination."
"Too late for you to do anything," Taizia agreed, "but not Vanna. And you must have the implant removed as soon as possible if you are pregnant. You're just so young to be having a cub!"
"Mother was my age when she had Kusac," she said defensively, lifting her head to wipe a forearm across her prickling eyes.
"Mother was fifteen, kitling," Taizia said absently, stroking her sister's head.
"I'll be fifteen by the time it is due!" She stopped, realizing what she'd said and fresh tears began to well up.
"Hush!" Taizia said, giving her a little shake. "We can go see Father Ghyan. He's good at this sort of thing, and you're one of his charges now you're an adult."
* * *
The Shrine of Vartra on the Valsgarth estate had originally been a derelict schoolhouse from the days when the clan had been more numerous. A plague, several generations before, had wiped out almost half of the people on both estates. The clan had had no option but to abandon the Valsgarth estate and concentrate on the main Aldatan one— until Kusac and Carrie had Linked and returned to Shola. It would be several years before the En'Shalla Clan needed the services of a separate school building, so in the meantime, it had been converted to a Shrine.
Ghyan looked up as Taizia and Kitra were shown in by one of the acolytes. His curiosity had been aroused when he'd been told that the sisters wanted to see him, and it only took one look at the set of their ears to know this was a matter of some seriousness.
"Taizia, Kitra, always a pleasure to see you," he said, rising to greet them. "Please, take a seat." He indicated the informal chairs by the empty fireplace as he came round to join them. "I thought I wasn't due to see you and Dzaka till tomorrow, Kitra."
Because of troubled relations with the Telepath Guild, Ghyan had taken on the job of instructing the new Leska pairs on the estate. Now that Master Sorli had become Guild Master, that burden was gradually being lifted. Next to Father Lijou, he held the second most senior position within the Order of Vartra, and was known to be being groomed as his successor, both in the Order and the Brotherhood.
"I think I know why you're here," he said quietly, taking the seat beside Kitra.
Taizia surveyed the brown-pelted priest thoughtfully. He was an old friend of her brother's from his days as a student at the Guild. Kusac had gone to him when he'd needed help, that was why she'd brought Kitra.
"Why do you think we've come, Father?" she asked.
Ghyan glanced at her and smiled gently. "That's for Kitra to say, my dear." He turned back to the younger female. "You can speak to me in private if you wish."
Kitra shook her head mutely, sliding closer to her sister on the sofa.
"She came to me, Father. She's afraid she might be pregnant and she won't go to Physician Kyjishi. I heard that you can tell just by looking, even on the same day."
Ghyan regarded the sisters thoughtfully. He could feel nothing on a surface level; both their minds were tightly shielded, even from casual thoughts. "Why won't you go to Vanna? Surely you can't be scared of her?"
Kitra shook her head. "I don't want anyone to know yet. Not even Dzaka. They'll both start making decisions for me, and I don't know what I want to do."
"You're young, Kitra, but not that young," he said, leaning toward her and holding out his hand. Hesitantly she took it. "You have the right to make your own decisions now. You're En'Shalla under the direct protection of the Brotherhood of Vartra, no longer subject to Clan or Guild, only to Father Lijou."
"I am pregnant, aren't I?" she said with a sinking feeling.
Ghyan nodded, gripping her hand more tightly for a moment in reassurance. "I don't think you know yet how much you and Dzaka have been blessed," he said. "Dzaka was only an empath until you and he were forced by Kezule to try and take him back to his own time. You would have succeeded, too, if Vartra Himself hadn't intervened. It took Carrie, Kusac, and Kaid— three grade one telepaths— to bring him forward to our time, yet you and Dzaka would have done it alone."
He watched her face as he let that knowledge sink in for a moment or two. "Did you know that you're descended from Vartra Himself? It isn't common knowledge yet, but Vartra life-bonded to Zylisha Aldatan, sister to Zashou who's traveling back to Shola with Kusac's people. And Kaid is from Noni's kin, a Dzaedoh. So is Dzaka. You and Dzaka represent a bonding of those two families. I believe this was what Vartra intended."
"But I don't know what I want to do yet!" she said, pulling her hand free. "My Father resigned from the Clan Council to avoid a marriage that meant me having a cub immediately, and now this!"
"But you love Dzaka," said Ghyan. "Talk to him, see what he thinks. At the end of the day, it's your decision that matters, but you should tell him. There's time enough for more cubs if that's what you wish."
"He'll persuade me to keep it," she said, tail flicking jerkily on the seat beside her. "Once I tell him, it won't be my choice."
"I think you wrong him," said Ghyan gently. "But you must go to Physician Kyjishi today and have that implant removed. The drugs could well cause harm to your child if you intend to keep it. She won't feel she has to tell anyone if you remind her you are an adult and En'Shalla now."
"I'll see Vanna, but I'm not ready to tell Dzaka yet," she said.
"You may find this could be a good thing for everyone, Kitra," suggested Taizia. "Kusac's due home in a week and you know how worried they are about him. It could give all of us something to look forward to if you decide to keep the cub."
"No one would want me to keep it because of that," she said morosely. "More likely having it'll be another worry to add to the ones they already have."
"A cub that is wanted for its own sake is a blessing from Ghyakulla for us all, Kitra," said Ghyan, sitting back. "It has to be your choice, child."
the
Couana,
the same day
He had tried to integrate with the others on the ship, but each day just brought him fresh reminders of how much he'd relied on his Talent for everything. Conversations were fraught with episodes of him reading the body language of those around him wrongly, especially Dzaou. He wasn't sure if it was paranoia on his part, but it seemed that male was determined to find fault with everything he said and did. It was as if his presence was a Challenge to him. His thoughts kept returning to Carrie and Kaid, wishing that he'd traveled on the
Hkariyash,
then he remembered their Link days and was glad he was on the
Couana.
On top of all this, he could feel T'Chebbi's eyes on him all the time.
He took to staying in his room and sleeping during the day periods, venturing out into the common lounge only at night when he thought the others were sleeping.
He was sitting at one of the entertainment units when he heard the door opening. Since his captivity, his hearing had grown more acute, and he recognized T'Chebbi's footfall even on the carpeted floor before he smelled her scent.
"Is bad for you to isolate yourself like this," she said, coming round to sit at the unit beside his.
"Are you a counselor now, T'Chebbi?" he asked, continuing to read the latest news sheet from Shola.
"I helped Kaid when he went to Stronghold after his time as Ghezu's captive," she said quietly. "No need for you to go through this alone. He didn't. Had me, then you to help him."
"I'm not Kaid. I don't want company or help. I want to be left alone," he said, voice deepening with the beginnings of anger that he tried to suppress.
"Know that. But are similarities. You both bone-headed about it."
Surprised, he glanced at her.
"Look, you lost your Link to Carrie, but you not lost her. You're the one pushed her away."
"You know why I did," he said, turning back to his monitor screen. "I told you, I don't want to talk about it."
"Need to. Carrie loves you, so does Kaid. He's your sword-brother and she's your life-mate! You're a Triad. Can't turn your back on them."
"You know nothing about it," he said, feeling the warning tingle at the base of his neck as his temper started to flare. "Nothing about how I feel."
"How do you feel then?" she asked after a moment's silence.
"Irritated by your persistent questions," he growled, trying to remember the litanies, anything to push back the anger before it took hold of him. "Just leave me alone, T'Chebbi."
"Are you jealous of Kaid? He had no option. If they hadn't paired, they'd both have died— so would you."
"I know that, dammit!" His hands clenched on the table, claws cutting into his palms. "I'm glad he did, glad he was there, was able to do it, but it should have been me! I'm her Leska, the one who should have protected her, stopped J'koshuk from raping her! It was my fault!" Pain began to flicker up and down his spine as he fought for self-control.
"You couldn't have stopped him," she said gently, reaching out to touch his arm.
He turned to look at her, eyes blazing with anger. "I told J'koshuk about Carrie," he said slowly, trying to push back the burning pain, prevent it from crippling him, and her from seeing it. "Kaid didn't. He kept the codes of the estate from Ghezu. I failed. He didn't."
"You rescued him. If you hadn't arrived..."
"He'd have succeeded in making Ghezu kill him!" he snarled, pushing himself up from his chair. "I see my failure every time I look at her! I remember her fear! I
felt
it, for Vartra's sake, T'Chebbi!"
And later paired with one of them,
he thought with despair. "I can't forgive myself for that, even if she can."
"You can, if you let yourself. If not, then telepath medics can erase it."
He looked at her contemptuously. "You think I want that?"
"You'd forget it happened. If don't want that, then come to terms with it," she countered. "You think they're happy with what happened? That Kaid wanted to step into your place and share a cub with her because he had no option? That causes troubles between them! You cutting yourself off makes it worse for all of you!"
"I can't help that! It would be worse if I were there! They have Link days— I'll never have them again! They have each other— they
love
each other! I saw them, T'Chebbi! Saw them together when they Linked! J'koshuk made me watch!"
Agony coursed through him now. He lashed out at the monitor, hoping to dissipate his anger with a different pain. His fist contacted, smashing the screen which promptly imploded with a loud bang, showering him with shards. Pain lanced through his hand as he staggered back. But it had worked, the anger was gone leaving only the agony in his hand.
"You're bleeding," said T'Chebbi calmly, getting up. "Come with me, I'll dress it."
"I'm all right. Leave me alone," he said shakily, cradling his hand against his chest. He backed off, then turned and headed for the door, shocked by the violence of what he'd done.