Authors: Lisanne Norman
* * *
As they came out of the elevator, Noni saw Yaszho waiting for them outside the infirmary. She didn't need to see the set of his ears to know how serious the situation was. He hurried toward them, impatiently gesturing their escort away.
"Gods, am I glad to see you," he said quietly, but with heartfelt sincerity. "Father Lijou won't let the surgeon treat her properly. You have to talk to him, make him see sense before we lose both Kha'Qwa and the cub!"
"Stop babbling, lad," she said tartly. "Just take me in to them."
* * *
The sterile white room was silent save for the quiet rhythmic beep of the monitor. Kha'Qwa lay on her side, the bright titian of her pelt and hair matted and dulled by blood and pain. An infusion unit had been attached to one arm, the other was encased in a splint. The female nurse glanced briefly at Noni as she left carrying a container of blood-soaked dressings.
Lijou was standing still as a statue, looking out of the window. He turned as he heard the door close.
The white streaks at either side of his dark face highlighted the fact that the inner lids were beginning to show at the corners of his eyes. He was in shock himself.
"You look worse than her, Lijou," she said gruffly. "Good thing you left one of those mobile comm links with me. Had a feeling I'd be needing it about now." She turned to Teusi, passing him her walking stick. "Fetch us a drink of c'shar, lad. Plenty of sweetener, the Father looks like he could do with it."
Nodding briefly, Teusi put her bag and stick down on the nearest chair and left.
"What's this I hear about you not letting them treat her?" she asked softly, walking over to the bed to check on Kha'Qwa.
"He wants to cut her open," said Lijou, joining her at the bedside. "Remove our cub, and..." He stopped, obviously finding it difficult to continue. "She'd never be able to have any more, Noni. I can't make that decision for her! Muushoi knows nothing about birthing! He's scared, scared of losing them both! So am I! How could I let him operate on her?"
Noni could feel how terrified he was. She put a comforting hand on his arm, feeling him shivering despite the warmth of the room and the thickness of his wool robe.
"Your son needs to be born, Lijou," she said gently. "Or you will lose them both. She's bleeding too much, and in shock. That's why she's gone into labor. Her body is rejecting the cub, letting him die to save her."
"What?" he looked at her, eyes wide in disbelief.
"You want to hold that little son of yours, don't you?" she said, her voice a low, persuasive purr. "He's waited a long time to be with you. You wouldn't deny him that, would you?"
"A son?"
The door opened again but Lijou didn't notice it. As Teusi appeared at her elbow holding a mug of c'shar, Noni gently reached for Lijou's mind. Taking advantage of his distraction, slowly and carefully, she slipped past his mental shields.
Tightening her grip on his arm, Noni drew Lijou back a few steps from the bed. "You're tired," she said, taking the mug from Teusi and holding it out to him. "A drink will make you feel better."
"It's a son?" asked Lijou, never taking his eyes from her face as automatically he took the mug from her and raised it to his lips.
"Oh, yes. A healthy boy," she said, keeping her voice low as she watched the priest drink. "He'll have your eyes and her coloring. You take your drink and go with Teusi now. We'll call you when the berran's arrived."
Lijou lowered the mug. "But Kha'Qwa..."
"Will be fine. You finish that drink and go with Teusi. Let me do what I must," she purred, letting him go with her hand and mind as she saw his eyes begin to take on a glassy look.
He nodded, raising the mug and draining it before handing it to Teusi. "You do what you must," he said slowly, letting the youth take him by the arm and lead him toward the door.
The drug Teusi had used, coupled with the suggestion she'd planted in his mind, would make him sleep for several hours. Dismissing him from her thoughts, she turned her attention to Kha'Qwa.
The door had no sooner shut than a voice from behind her demanded, "What did you do to him?"
She turned and glared at the physician. "None of your damned business," she snapped. "You got that operating theater of yours ready?"
"Yes, but..."
"I've been sent for to birth this cub, and by the Gods, that's what I'm going to do," she snarled. "You got a problem with that?"
"I can't operate without Father Lijou's permission..."
Noni stared at the physician. "You heard him say I was to do what I must, didn't you?" she demanded.
"Yes, but you've done something to him!"
With her free hand she reached out and grasped hold of him by the front of his blue medic's tunic, pulling him forward till they were almost nose to nose. "I'll be doing something to you in a minute! Now, will you give me the medical knowledge I need, or do I have to go into your mind and take it by force? We haven't got much time, Muushoi, so make the right decision now!"
"You can't operate on her!" he said, trying to remove her hand.
"Says who?" snarled Noni, flexing her claws till the physician yelped. "I want to try and stop that bleeding without butchering her! It can be done, but not by the likes of you! You're too damned scared of failing to try!"
"A skill transfer needs practice! You can't just take the knowledge from me and expect to be able to use it!"
"I've forgotten more about medicine than you'll ever know," she spat, reaching out mentally for him.
the
Couana,
Zhal-S'Asha, 19th day (October)
The cabin that had been assigned to him on the
Couana
was the one he'd used on the outward journey from Haven to Shola five months before. A private ship, belonging to the Touiban swarm led by Toueesut, it was normally captained by their Sumaan pilot, Shaayiyisis. There were two large adjoining rooms, one for the six Touiban males and the other for their six wives, with a third room large enough for Shaayiyisis and his crew of two. Since this swarm worked mainly on Shola, the remaining four cabins had been furnished to accommodate Sholans. It was one of these that had been set aside for him.
He had toyed with the thought of using the Sumaans' room instead, but balked at the thought of sleeping in an oval sand pit, even if it was heated. And the garish opulence of the Touiban suites was not something he could cope with right now. Sighing, he let the door slide shut behind him and approached the bed where his kit lay. Someone— probably Banner— had obviously thought he'd be more comfortable in the cabin he'd used before than in an unfamiliar one, forgetting the state of mind he'd been in during that trip.
Slinging the bag he was carrying on the bed, he sat down, reaching for the larger carryall. Opening it, he pushed aside the spare clothing then drew out a plain wooden box, checking it to make sure it was undamaged and hadn't been tampered with: the wax seal over the lock remained intact. Getting to his feet, he took it to the chest of drawers that stood against the far wall. Placing it inside one of the smaller drawers, he locked it then removed and pocketed the key. That done, he returned to his bed, and stripping off his jacket, swept both bags to the floor before lying down.
The bedding was faintly perfumed, a scent he wished he'd forgotten as more memories began to rise from his subconscious. Pushing them back, he rolled onto his side, letting his body relax into the curved dip in the center of the bed, and closed his eyes. He was tired, too tired to be troubled by any more memories.
* * *
He woke to the sound of a loud thump and an involuntary cry of pain. Still groggy, he sat up and peered across the room at the crumpled figure of Banner.
"Dammit, Kusac!" the other snarled. "What the hell did you do that for?"
"You know better than to touch me when I'm asleep," he said, his hand automatically going to his neck and finding it bare. Momentarily confused, he glanced at the night table, seeing his torc lying there. A vague recollection of it causing him discomfort while he slept came to him as he picked it up and put it on. "What did you want?"
"Time for third meal," said the older Sholan, picking himself up off the floor and checking his shoulder.
"Third meal?" He rubbed his eyes with his fists, wondering where the time had gone.
"You needed the rest," said the other. "I did check in on you, but you were deeply asleep. I thought it best to leave you since I know you came directly from Stronghold." He hesitated as Kusac swung his feet over the edge of the bed and got up. "Has Carrie had the cub?" he asked carefully.
"Yes," he said brusquely. Then belatedly, "A daughter. Born at sunrise."
"Vartra be praised."
He shot him a look, but there was only genuine pleasure on Banner's face— his Second had no idea what he was carrying. Tugging his tunic down, he headed for the door. "Next time you need to wake me, don't touch me if my torc's off. Use the buzzer on the door, or the comm unit. You know I can't control my responses when I'm asleep."
* * *
The evening meal was a quiet one. Since the
Couana
had been set on auto, and the main controls routed to the mess comm unit, they were all able to take a meal break together.
Conversation was sparse and sporadic because by convention, no business would be discussed until after the meal was over, and there was only one question on everyone's mind.
He picked at his food, delaying the inevitable for as long as he could before he had to eventually push his half-cleared plate aside and reach for the jug of c'shar and the remaining mug.
"Where are we going, and why did we steal the Touibans' ship?" asked Dzaou.
"I told you, you'll be briefed in three days, when we arrive at our destination," he said, reaching for the sweetener and powdered whitener to add to his drink.
"Why the secrecy? Who're we going to tell?" Dzaou demanded sarcastically. "I'm not convinced this is Brotherhood business. I think it's some mad scheme of your own."
"We're on Brotherhood business, that's all you need to know for now."
"But stealing a private ship, especially the one belonging to the only complete Touiban swarm on Shola— that's begging for an inter-species incident! You were brought up as a Clan heir, you should be putting Shola's good before anything else. You're a Brother, now, dammit!"
"There won't be an incident, and the
Couana
will be returned unharmed within three weeks," he said, rising. "I find your concern for the Touibans somewhat hypocritical, Dazou, given your past history."
There was a stillness. "What do you know of my past?" asked Dzaou quietly.
"Everything," he snapped, tail swaying in anger. "Don't presume to question me. Just obey your orders." He looked past the tan-colored Sholan to the black-pelted Banner. "I'll be on the bridge, standing watch for the next three hours. Route my controls there. Arrange a roster, two on, four off, every three hours. You're in charge."
* * *
Banner watched him leave then rounded on Dzaou. "What the hell are you trying to do?" he demanded. "Goad him into a fight? He's fought a Death Challenge. You willing to stand up to him and risk this mission and your life?"
Dzaou glanced uncertainly at the others but the support he hoped for wasn't there. "How d'you know about the Challenge?" he demanded.
"Because I made it my business to find out about him," hissed Banner, ears laid back. "What's your problem? Did something go wrong back at the 'port?"
"No, but he's unstable, for Vartra's sake! He should be hospitalized, not leading this mission, if it is one!"
"It's a mission, and he's stable, just getting over the TeLaxaudin attempt to cure him, that's all," Banner snapped back before switching his glare to the other three round the table. "Any of you got similar reservations about our Captain?"
"Not me," said Chima, sitting back in her seat.
Jayza hesitated. "I don't know him well enough to have an informed opinion. If not for gossip, I'd have no doubts."
"Then don't listen to gossip," said Banner harshly, getting to his feet and circling the table. "Khadui?"
The comms operator shrugged. "He's the Captain. A taste for his own company is no crime, nor is a short temper."
"He's different, alien compared to the rest of us," said Dzaou forcefully. "Am I the only one who can see how unbalanced he is?"
"You can see what you want, just keep it to yourself and do your job," said Banner, coming to a stop behind him. He placed his hand on the older male's shoulder, clenching his fingers till his claws extended and penetrated through the jacket to the flesh below. "You jeopardize this mission, and it won't be Kusac you'll need to worry about. I'll take you down myself."
Dzaou pulled away. "You made your point," he snarled, rubbing his shoulder and getting to his feet. "But since you're Second, I expect you to act as quickly if
he
gets out of line."
"It won't happen," said Banner flatly, returning to his seat.
"Did you get any briefing from Stronghold?" asked Chima when Dzaou and Khadui had left. "I was told to report to you, that's all."
Banner's ears flicked back then raised in a negative. "Nothing, except that Kusac would brief us as we approached the rendezvous."
"So we're meeting someone," said Chima thoughtfully, reaching for the jug of c'shar. "How well is he?" she asked, lowering her voice to almost a whisper as she leaned closer under the pretext of refilling her mug. "There was gossip, as you know, out at the Palace, but no one had any facts."
Banner shook his head, a gesture he'd picked up from Brynne and the other Humans on the estate. "He was physically fine when he left for Stronghold, no more— episodes— but we've seen little of him lately. His personality has changed, Garras says, but then whose wouldn't after what he went through, what he lost. I know he refused to leave before the cub was born."
"Maybe this mission is to get his self-esteem back. It would have helped the situation if he'd given us some information about what we're doing out here."
"He needs our support," emphasized Banner, locking eyes with her. "I'm aware that you're attached to Master Rhyaz' staff and your last posting was with Commander L'Seuli."
"He has it," she said softly, raising her mug. "For now."
Stronghold, Zhal-Zhalwae, 24th day (May)
An unfamiliar sound dragged Lijou from his drugged sleep. Groaning, he pushed himself up and looked in the direction of the noise. On a chair beside his bed sat Noni.
"You'll have to wake a deal quicker than that when this little fellow wants his feed," she said. "You and Kha'Qwa got a name for him?"
Lijou stared at her, unable to fully take in what she was saying. "You put something in my drink," he said accusingly, falling back on his last remembered thought.
"I did not," she said, folding back the wrappings round the bundle she was cradling. "What you calling your son?" she asked again, holding the cub out to him.
Automatically, he took it from her. A scent that was still mainly Kha'Qwa's drifted up to him. "Chay'Dah," he said, unable to look down at the cub that he knew lay nestled in the blanket. His arms tightened protectively round the bundle, holding him close. This might be all that was left of his love. "Kha'Qwa— how is she?" he asked, afraid of the answer.
"Sleeping," said Noni. "You're lucky, Lijou. Had I been much later, we'd have lost them both. You shouldn't have waited for me."
"You let him operate." His voice sounded flat and ungrateful even to him. "I don't mean I'm not obliged to you," he began, but she cut him short.
"No, Muushoi and I did it together," she said, leaning back tiredly in the chair. "Least now I know all that he knows about modern surgery. So does Teusi. I should have done it years ago, but then, I don't have an operating theater or the instruments to use at my place." She turned her head to look at him. "I did what I could, Lijou. Only time will tell whether or not she can have more cubs, but at least she wasn't butchered by your damned physician. Muushoi might be good at stapling wounds and setting limbs, but he knows nothing about birthing."
He felt a movement against his chest and a tiny mewl broke the silence before he could speak.
"You going to look at your son or not?" Noni asked, sitting up again.
He looked down, lost for words as he watched the tiny face, eyes closed and ears tightly furled, turning blindly around. Balancing the cub in the crook of one arm, tentatively he touched a fingertip to the fine ginger down on the infant's face. Immediately the head turned toward him, and as the cub mewled again, he felt his son's mind reaching for his.
"Chay'Dah," he said softly as their minds touched. "You were right, Noni. He's got Kha'Qwa's coloring."
She sniffed. "I'm always right. Now, shall we go see that mate of yours? She should be waking about now."
He tore his gaze away from his son. "I thought she'd only just had surgery."
"That was several hours ago," Noni said, grasping her stick and using it to help lever herself to her feet. "Yesterday, in fact. That cub of yours needs to be fed, Lijou. He's refused everything but a sip of water so far."
"You did put something in my drink!"
"No, I didn't. Teusi did. You were in no fit state to make the decisions needing to be made. I'm sorry, but I had to do what was best for Kha'Qwa and that little mite there."
Lijou felt a gentle vibration against his chest and realized his son was purring. He began to smile, all thoughts of being angry with Noni vanishing at the wonder of this small scrap of new life that he held in his arms. Carefully, he slid himself toward the edge of the bed and lowered his legs to the floor.
"She looks a lot better now," said Noni as she waited for him to get up. "They cleaned her up a bit once she came round from the anesthetic."
"Is she all right?" he asked again as he followed her to the door.
"She'll be fine, but you'd best get one of the villagers up here to help her nurse him. She won't be doing much of anything for a few weeks if she's to heal properly. And she's got a broken arm."
"She's got me to help," he said, following her out into the corridor.
"And you got a guild to run, as well as your mate to look after, Lijou. I know a couple of females from the village that'd be just right for the job. You need someone who's a mother, not one of the Sisters from here."
He sighed, remembering what Dhaika had said about arguing with Noni. Losing was not a concept she knew anything about. "Would you arrange it for me, then, Noni?"
She glanced at him over her shoulder as she opened the door into Kha'Qwa's room. "You're learning some sense," she said approvingly.
Kha'Qwa was sitting propped up among a pile of pillows. She opened her eyes as she heard him enter. As he hurried over to her side, her mouth lowered in a faint smile.
"I feared I'd lost you," he said, barely able to speak through a throat tight with emotion. "How do you feel? Are you in pain? Is there anything I can do for you?"
"I'm fine," she said, her voice slightly slurred from the analgesics as she reached up to touch him. "Teusi says we have a son."
The cub had suddenly begun to mewl again, a high-pitched, insistent sound this time. Bending, Lijou passed his bundle carefully to her.
"See for yourself," he said softly as he helped her settle the cub in the crook of her uninjured arm.