strongholdrising (9 page)

Then the jegget was there, her tiny clawed feet climbing across his shoulders and back, her insistent wet nose snuffling at his ear as she tried in her own way to join in. The shock of it was enough to tip him over the edge without the need for the pain.

* * *

He'd feigned sleep, waiting till Carrie slept before slipping from the bed and pulling on his robe. Silently he padded to the door and opened it. T'Chebbi sat outside, unsurprised to see him, or with his request. She remained silent as she escorted him up to the observation room. Huge and sullen, the nearby gas giant filled the viewport, bathing the room with its baleful, orange glow.
For several minutes, he stood there, looking out at it without seeing it. "How do you stand it?" he asked suddenly, looking round at her. "To feel nothing with your mind when you pair?"
"Telepaths are few. How should we know what you feel? What we have is good enough," she replied.
He made a sound of exasperation and turned away. "It's pointless when your mind isn't involved," he said at last. "It becomes nothing more than a physical release."
"What's wrong with that?" she asked, moving closer to him. "Many things are done only for pleasure and exercise, why not pairing?"
"If you believe that, why were you celibate until recently?" he countered. "You told me you were trained as a Consortia. Why'd you change your mind?"
"We weren't high-class qwenes," she said quietly. "Pleasing clients sexually was our choice, not theirs, you know that. Was trained to be a hostess, not work for a living, until the Fleet pack took me. You have your life, and your Triad, be grateful for that, Kusac, instead of angry at what you can't change."
"Without our Link, it's pointless, a— travesty— of what we had! I've a right to be angry!"
"Anger like this destroys you. You aren't the only one to lose something you value. Others deal with it, so must you. When we paired, you never had a problem."
"You don't understand. When you and I were together, I could sense something from you, but I could
feel
them— Carrie and Kaid. Now there's nothing at all! I'm trapped alone in my own head, unable to reach beyond myself, unable to sense anything from her!"
"It may come back in time, that's what they say, isn't it? Only been one day, Kusac. Give it time."
"You don't understand," he repeated, hands clenching on the viewport sill. "You're mind-dead to start with! Captivity and the torture, they pass. How could you possibly know the joy of sharing every feeling, every sensation with the one you love, to the point where you actually
become
one being? Chy'qui and J'koshuk, they took what I am, took my very soul away from me! So don't give me any of your platitudes, I don't want them!"
"I heard enough," she growled, turning away from him. "You think you the only one ever to suffer, to lose something! When you're done with self-pity, I be outside!"
"Look, I know you had it rough when the Fleet took you," he began.
"You know nothing!" she spat, backing away in a crouch, tail swaying jerkily. "I lost everything but my life that night! Fleet killed my adoptive father and took me as their prize to frighten other merchants into paying protection money! I was used as pack qwene by them, then the Claws— until Kaid came back for me!" Angrily, she turned her back on him, stalking toward the door where she stopped briefly.
"Wasn't till we nearly lost Kaid to Fyak and Ghezu that I knew I had to tell him what I'd felt for him for all those years. Think on this, Kusac Aldatan. Had you not lost your Talent— temporarily or otherwise— you and Carrie would both be dead, maybe Kaid as well. Is small price to pay for three lives." She turned to look at him as she opened the air lock, eyes glittering with a hardness he'd never seen before. "I'd pay it. Don't call me till you want to go back to your room."

* * *

When Carrie woke in the morning, she found herself alone. Lifting her head to look around, she saw Kusac asleep in the other bed. She was about to get up and check on him when she felt Kaid's presence in her mind.
Leave him sleeping, Carrie. Banner's on duty, he'll sit with him while we talk. Join me in the mess. Don't worry about the jegget, she's back with Brynne.
Curious, she sat up and reached for her clothes, wincing as the scratches on her hips hurt. A sense of disquiet filled her, made worse when she noticed the bruise on her wrist where Kusac had grabbed hold of her the night before. She'd had the odd scratch or bruise in the past from him, but nothing like these. She'd need some of the Fastheal salve they kept on their shuttle in the
Hkariyash,
otherwise Kaid would see them.
What's up?
came Kaid's thought.
Nothing. I'm on my way,
she replied, tucking her worries safely to the back of her mind where he couldn't access them.
The smell of food made her realize how hungry she was. The queue was short, and as she could see Kaid sitting nearby with Captain Tirak and several of his crew, she grabbed a tray and joined the line. Minutes later, he joined her, ordering a drink, then steering her toward an empty table when she was handed her plate of food.
"What do you want to talk about?" she asked as she sat down.
"We're leaving today," he said, putting his own mug on the table. "The treaty is signed and sealed, and Kusac's fit to travel."
"You needed me on my own to tell me this?" She picked up her fork. Much as she wanted to be home with her daughter, she was dreading their return trip, and the homecoming.
"The worst's over," said Kaid quietly, leaning across the table toward her so the general buzz of conversation around them wouldn't drown his voice. "I called Konis and Rhyasha myself last night to give them the details about Kusac. I told them about our cub. You've no need to fear meeting them when we return. Neither of us has done anything we should feel ashamed about."
"I'm not," she said, swallowing a forkful of eggs. "Everyone knew our Triad was a legitimate bonding among the three of us, that it would entail you and I sharing cubs one day. What I feel is more complex than that. It's as though I somehow feel responsible for what happened to Kusac."
"Chy'qui was the one responsible, not you," he said, watching her closely. "Even if J'koshuk hadn't known your twin, Chy'qui was determined to get information from Kusac about us and Keiss. When he realized we were a Triad, he wanted Kusac tortured to the limit to see if either you or I responded to his pain."
As she put her fork down to reach for her mug of coffee, Kaid took hold of her wrist, making her yelp in pain.
"I thought so," he said, carefully pushing her sleeve up. "You were favoring that arm. What happened?"
She snatched her wrist away but not before he'd seen the livid finger marks. "It's nothing," she said, picking up her fork instead and hurriedly shoveling some more food onto it.
He gave a low growl of annoyance, ears flicking briefly. "Kusac? I was afraid of that. I knew I shouldn't have let you close your mind to me last night. When you've eaten, we're going to the sick bay."
She stared at him, blinking her eyes once, very slowly, letting him know he'd overstepped the bounds. "It's nothing. Just a couple of bruises. He was— enthusiastic, that's all."
"That isn't enthusiasm, Carrie. You might be half Sholan now, but you can still be infected by our claws. If you have any scratches, they need to be treated."
"Dammit, Kaid!" she hissed, leaning toward him angrily. "What do you think he is? Some kind of monster? He'd never hurt me deliberately, any more than you would!"
He regarded her steadily, refusing to back down. "You're being too defensive. What happened last night, Carrie? Did he force you?"
"Let's end this conversation right now, Kaid," she said, her voice icy as she resumed eating, praying he wouldn't notice she was trembling.
He was silent for a minute or two. "The
Kz'adul
left last night," he said, changing the topic. "Tirak's ship is scheduled to leave in just over two hours. We leave after them. Captain Kishasayzar is getting the
Hkariyash
ready now."
"What about Brynne and the others?"
"Captain Shaayiyisis is readying the
Couana.
We'll travel back in convoy with her."
"Interesting though this is, it could have waited, Kaid."
"I wanted to see how you were after last night."
"I told you that topic was dead."
"You asked me why I wanted to see you on your own," he said reasonably. "T'Chebbi was concerned for you. Kusac asked her to arrange for him to travel back in the
Couana.
"
"What?" Her fork clattered to the table as she stared at Kaid in shock.
He leaned forward to retrieve it. "The journey home will take about two weeks, and we have Link days now," he said gently, handing it back to her. "It's a perfectly understandable request."
"But I thought...I've only just got him back..." She stopped, eyes narrowing as a suspicion crept into her mind. "Why, apart from that, was T'Chebbi concerned for me? When did she talk to Kusac?"
"He left you sleeping to go up to the observation lounge. He spent most of the night in there alone."
"Did he say something to her?" she demanded.
"If nothing happened, why are you so concerned?" he asked, taking a drink from his mug.
She studied his face, checking the angle of his ears and head, the position of the eye ridges above the dark brown eyes, as well as opening her mind to his every surface thought. He hid nothing, letting her feel his concern that by leaving her alone with Kusac the night before, he'd exposed her to danger from someone still mentally unstable.
"What did happen last night, Carrie?" he repeated quietly, putting his mug back on the table.
"Nothing. I told you, Kusac would never intentionally hurt me," she said slowly.
"Unintentionally then."
She looked away, pushing her plate aside, no longer hungry. "He was enthusiastic, that's all. Forgot his own strength," she muttered, a bitter taste in her mouth.
"He's been relying on your Link. Now it's gone..." Kaid ground to a halt. "Apart from those bruises, what else? Tell me, Carrie. Our next Link day is only three days away. I'd rather not find out then."
She pushed her chair back and stood up. "I need some Fastheal salve," she said. "I'm not going to discuss this any further, Kaid. I feel like I'm betraying him. He's never been anything but gentle and loving with me. I know you think you shouldn't have left us alone, but..."
He rose, reaching out to grasp her shoulder. "Carrie, I'm not criticizing him, believe me. Remember, I know what it's like to come suddenly from captivity to the arms of your lover. You were there for me when they brought me out of Ghezu's dungeon."
She remembered only too well, and couldn't stop the comparison that came immediately to her mind. Kaid had behaved so differently from Kusac, and it had been their first time together, his first time with a female for thirty years because he'd been afraid to reveal he was a telepath. He'd been hesitant at first, then grown more confident. Even though he'd known nothing of Human lovemaking, nor how fragile they were in comparison to the furred Sholans, he'd known his own strength. And he'd not known then how to use his Talent.
"Maybe it was my fault," she said hesitantly. "I forgot and reached for his mind like Vriuzu did. I think I triggered that awful pain."
"What?"
"Only for a moment," she said hastily as his hand tightened on her shoulder in concern. "That's when it happened. A reaction to it, I think. Thank Vartra the jegget was there!" She gave a slight smile of amusement, locking away these new worries. Kaid had made her examine the happenings of the night before more closely than she would have wished, and she didn't like the conclusions she was drawing.
"The jegget?" he asked, moving closer, obviously confused. "What did she have to do with it?"
"She jumped on his back. Everything was fine after that. They do that in the wild, don't they? Well, they do on our estate. We shared a cave with them once." She saw his look of utter confusion and added, "They're drawn to pairing couples, Kusac said. Something to do with them being telepathic too."
"Ah," he said, realization dawning. "Yes, I'd heard that," he murmured. "The sick bay has some Fastheal. We'll get it from there, then you can keep some on hand to treat those scratches."

* * *

Two hours later, she met Kaid and T'Chebbi as arranged at the elevator down to the flight deck. As the doors opened, she saw Captain Kishasayzar in the middle of the group at the bottom of the
Profit
's loading ramp. Kate and Taynar, the young Leska couple the U'Churians had rescued, were already there.
"I thought Kisha'd be on the
Hkariyash
now," she said.
"He came over to finalize a trade deal with Tirak. Stronghold just bought his ship contract from the Chemerians. He owes us the money, but he's free to choose his customers and cargoes now."
"Good for him. I know he'll be as glad to see the back of Assadou as I was." She sniffed the air. "Sure smells better than last time I was here. What did they do with J'koshuk's body?"
"I wondered when you'd ask. They had to expel it into space to put the fire out," said Kaid, glancing at her. "Seems that the bolt of energy Kusac used to kill him started a fire smoldering deep within his body."
Shocked, her steps would have faltered had Kaid not caught her by the elbow and drawn her onward. "Officially, he shot the priest with a gun he took from the Valtegan guard. Unofficially, only Doctor Zayshul and those of us involved in the telepathic web at the hostage exchange know what happened. She dropped the gun to cover his tracks, though Vartra knows why."
"And our people?" she whispered. "They won't prosecute him for using his Talent to kill, will they?"
"It's being kept quiet, Carrie, don't worry," he reassured her.
"But Rhyaz and Lijou must know."
"It was a freak incident, a one-time event," he said, lowering his voice even further as they approached the
Profit.
"The Brotherhood needs us too much to have the incident made public. Back home, the authorities are hailing him as a hero because he didn't take the
Kz'adul
to Shola, he brought it here, to us. Besides, I won't let anything happen to him, trust me."
"I do," she said as he gave her arm an extra squeeze before letting her go as they stopped beside Kishasayzar and T'Chebbi.
The Sumaan's long reptilian neck snaked round toward them, lowering his head till his face was level with Kaid's. Lips pulled back from his mouth, exposing the huge teeth and thick pink tongue in a grin that would have been disconcerting had they not known him.
"Novelty it is for our people being in right place to make good trades," he said. "Thanking you for introduction to Merchant Tirak I am, Kaid. The word I be spreading among my kind for news of drug smugglers both your peoples wish to apprehend. Bad trade for all Alliance that is." He grimaced, wrinkling his snout.
"Glad I could help," said Kaid.
"I go now. Docking we are once
Profit
leaves.
Venture
returns then for you to embark."
Carrie watched their bulky Sumaan captain turn and pace off toward the shuttle parked by the landing bay entrance. His thick tail barely touching the ground, Kishasayzar moved with an ease and grace that was belied by his size.
She turned back to Tirak and his crew, feeling slightly awkward at this leave-taking. Having spent most of her time with them either in stasis or a cell, she didn't know them as well as Kaid and T'Chebbi did. Then she caught sight of Jeran, his light sand-colored pelt standing out amid the universal black of the U'Churians.
"We speak to them," suggested T'Chebbi.
Skirting round the edge of the group, they made their way over to him and Giyesh.
"Take care, you two," Carrie said. "It's not easy trying to become part of another species' culture, Jeran, so when you feel weighed down by how little you know, just remember how much you've already overcome to be together."
"We will," said Giyesh, grinning widely as Jeran put his arm across her shoulders. "Knowing it worked for you and Jo gave us hope."
Carrie shrugged. "Remember, it takes time, and don't let anyone else decide what it is you want, you make your own decisions. Kus...We did."
"We intend to. I learned that one already," said Jeran, with a sideways look at Giyesh. "Talking of Kusac, where is he?"
"In our quarters," she said. "He didn't feel up to saying good-bye and sends his apologies."
"He'll find it difficult getting used to such large, open areas again, and so many people," said Jeran. "I'm still finding it strange."
"Takes time," agreed T'Chebbi. "Least you still on ships."
"He'll be fine," reassured Carrie, inwardly praying he would as Tirak made a move to catch her attention. She turned to the U'Churian captain. "I never really thanked you for coming to our rescue the way you did," she said to him.
"No thanks necessary," he replied. "I had to know what you were up to. Your group was too good at frustrating most of my efforts to find out!"
"It's the Brotherhood training," she said lightly.
"You may well hear more from me in the future regarding that," he said. "I have many recommendations to put in front of the Rryuk Family council— starting with improving some of our basic skills." He turned to Kaid, extending his hand to him, Human style.
Kaid held out his and found his forearm grasped firmly.
"A warrior's handshake for you," Tirak said. "We'll be in touch, for trade reasons if nothing else."
"You're continuing to pose as a trader?" Kaid raised an eye ridge at him in amusement.
Tirak grinned, then scratched his ear in embarrassment. "Till we met you, it worked. Yes, we'll be keeping our cover for now. I told you, I have plans. You
will
be hearing from us in the future, but as for now, we must leave. They're giving us an escort back to Jalna."
"So I heard," said Kaid. "At least you can be sure this trip will be uneventful."
"Say good-bye to Annuur for us," said Kate. "And give him these." She handed Tirak several packets of candy. "Sorry I took over your mind like I did on the Chemerian station."
"Is all right, taiban," he said, ruffling her hair. "Without that, think of the excitement we'd have missed!" Chuckling, he turned for the
Profit
's ramp, gesturing his crew to precede him. "You'll be Annuur's friend for at least a week because of the candy!" he called over his shoulder.