Authors: Lisanne Norman
Stronghold, Zhal-S'Asha (Month of Approaching Darkness), 18th day, 1551 (October)
THE door behind him opened and closed. Ignoring the soft footfall, he continued to stare out across the Dzahai Mountains.
"I thought I'd find you here."
"If you've come to persuade me not to go, you'll fail," he said shortly, trying to contain the anger that had been building now for several days.
"There's no need for it to be you, surely. Since you came back from Haven, your— health— has not been good. Lijou and Rhyaz don't even know that the message is genuine. Are you positive someone else couldn't..."
"I'm going," he interrupted, the other's slight hesitation not lost on him. "As head of AlRel, you know why I was asked for specifically."
There was a short silence. "At least delay it by a day or two, Kusac. It shouldn't make any..."
"I'm leaving at dawn, when I know Carrie's had their cub," he said coldly. "To delay any longer would be disastrous."
"Preparations aren't complete. They haven't found a way to access the ship to reprovision it yet. Rhyaz says we risk everything if you leave so precipitously."
The tenuous control snapped and he spun around, ears lying flat and to the side, tail visibly lashing beneath the purple-bordered black tunic he wore. "
You
risk nothing! Have you
any
idea what these last few months have been like for me, cut off mentally from my Leska Link with Carrie, and from Kaid?"
"I can imagine..."
"You
cannot
! Now get out of here and leave me alone! You've had my answer! I'm leaving as soon as their cub is born! You know I have to!" He spun back to face the window, his gesture an obvious dismissal to the other black-pelted male.
He waited for the sound of the door again before allowing his shoulders to slump in exhaustion. The life he'd lost during his captivity with the Primes was almost within his grasp again, and they were asking him to turn his back on it. More, this venture, which had no guarantee of even being worthwhile, would cost him his reputation: he'd be outcast, branded a traitor by his own kind, unable to return until the outcome cleared his name— if it ever did.
He leaned his head against the glass, welcoming its coolness against his face and hands. Winter was barely three weeks away. Nearly five months had passed since he'd returned from Haven after his release by the Primes, and still he'd not come to terms with what had happened to him. Certain events must be resolved, like the scents only he could smell that had lingered on the message. He had to leave Shola now, before it was too late for him to get the answers he had to have.
Frustration and anger rose in him again and as his hair and the pelt beneath his tunic started to rise, he began to growl. The torc that circled his neck started to vibrate warningly. Ignoring it and the subsequent brief flare of pain the strong emotion still occasionally caused, he lifted his head, letting the growl become a full-throated roar that echoed round the room. Those who still remained in the almost empty halls of Stronghold understood its cause and, shivering, turned to each other for reassurance.
As the echoes died away, he shuddered, trying to shake off the remaining discomfort, and returned to looking across the moonlit landscape, far beyond Dzahai village, to where Kaid's home lay. Like images on an entertainment comm, memories of his time on Haven began to form before his eyes.
Haven, Zhal-Zhalwae (month of the Sun God), 22nd day, 1551 (May)
With a jolt, sweating and shaking, he was suddenly awake. Strong hands gripped his arms, holding him firmly down on the bed. Terror surged through him as he imagined himself back in his cell on the
Kz'adul,
held once more by the armored Prime guard. The scent of his jailer, J'koshuk, the Valtegan torturer-priest, was strong in his nostrils. Fear kept his eyes tightly shut as he braced himself for the next blow from the electronic animal prod.
"Kusac, you're safe on Haven with us," said a quiet voice in Sholan. "You had a bad dream."
He opened his eyes; by the dim light in the IC unit, he could see a vaguely familiar tan-pelted face looking down at him. The bed to one side of him moved. Confused, he slowly turned his head, aware of a stabbing pain in his neck as he did. All he could see was an indistinct figure leaning over the night table until the room began to brighten: he recognized her long blonde hair instantly. Memory returned in a rush then. He was no longer the Primes' prisoner, he was on the Brotherhood outpost of Haven, located far from Shola, on the borders of Chemerian space.
Carrie leaned over him, gently caressing his cheek. "You can let him go now, Kaid."
The pressure on his arms was lifted as Kaid, still watching him carefully, sat back. He opened his mouth to speak, but only a faint croak came out.
"I'll fetch you some water," said Carrie, getting up.
Reaching for Kaid's arm, he grasped it, using his friend's strength to help him sit up. The sudden movement made him aware of a dull, throbbing headache. When Carrie passed him the glass, he drained it while she piled pillows behind him.
"How long have you been here?" he asked Kaid as Carrie urged him to lean back.
"I came up after the talks broke for the night." Kaid nodded toward the chair not far from the bed. "I slept there. We're a Triad, Kusac. Where else would I be but here with you and Carrie?"
Even as feelings blocked off for too long by the Primes' implant began to well up inside him, he felt the warning tingling at the base of his skull. Instinctively, he retreated behind the mental barriers that had given him some little protection from the tortures J'koshuk had inflicted on him. Then Carrie was hugging him, her warmth and scent driving the last remnants of the nightmare away. With one arm, he clumsily returned the embrace, his other hand reaching for Kaid, needing to touch them both.
"I've never been alone," he whispered. "I've always sensed others around me. Now there's nothing. I'm mind-dead." It was a statement of fact, like he might say his pelt was black. He felt numb, as empty of emotions as he had on the Prime ship.
"Your psi Talent will come back," Kaid reassured him. "Until it does, we'll never be far from you. Getting you back to full health is our priority."
"You're not mind-dead," said Carrie forcefully. "You just need time for your mind to heal now that the implant's been deactivated and removed."
He remembered the implant and felt just under his jaw for the dressing that circled his neck. Like his head, it had begun to throb. He ignored it; compared to the unremitting pain J'koshuk had inflicted on him, it was nothing. "How much damage did it do?" he asked, trying to remember what Kaid had said the night before.
"Damage isn't the right word," said Kaid. "It was— invasive. With Valtegans who volunteer to become soldiers, its normal purpose is to take over the brain's hormone production and release. It does this by growing tendrils that create their own neural connections in the brain. They're not functioning now the control unit's been removed."
"He's just awakened, Tallinu, it's too soon to go into all these details," Carrie said.
"I need to know," he said, glancing at her. "What are these tendrils? Could they become active again?"
"Without the external unit, they shouldn't be able to become active. The TeLaxaudin bioengineered the implants for the Primes— they're part device and part a living tissue that bonds with the host. You're being kept in IC for the time being until the physician is sure your own system has stabilized and is functioning properly again. And in case you have another seizure," Kaid added, hand tightening round his.
He'd forgotten about that. "Have they found out what caused it yet?"
"Them," corrected Kaid gently. "You had more than one. No, we don't know, but you haven't had one since the unit was removed twelve hours ago, which is encouraging. Kzizysus, the TeLaxaudin physician, helped remove the implant. He's taken copies of your scans and medical data back to the Prime ship to study, to see if he can discover what caused the seizures."
"Chy'qui implanted me, he should have some idea," he said sharply, his ears folding in the beginnings of anger.
Kaid glanced briefly at Carrie. "Kzizysus didn't actually see you having the first seizure, Kusac. Doctor Chy'qui only called him in to adjust the implant. The subsequent seizures could have been caused either by a failure of the implant to take completely, or by it trying to adapt to your alien physiology. It wasn't designed for Sholan use after all, only for the Valtegans."
"Are you saying that there's some doubt about whether I needed an implant at all? That this Chy'qui could have been lying?" He felt anger surging through him, bringing with it the familiar wave of pain. J'koshuk had inadvertently taught him how to cope with pain. After being cut off from his emotions for so long, it was almost a relief to feel anger, no matter the cost.
"It's a possibility," agreed Carrie, reaching out to touch him reassuringly. "We were only able to find out as much as we have because of Annuur, leader of Captain Tirak's Cabbaran navigators. He was able to translate what Kzizysus said for us. The Cabbarans are old allies of the TeLaxaud— they have a natural talent that allows them to communicate with the TeLaxaudin more accurately than any other species."
"Why did he do it?" he demanded, pulling his hand away from Kaid's and sitting upright. "Why implant me if I didn't need it?"
"To experiment on you and Carrie," said Kaid. "Chy'qui knew you were a Leska pair, but he didn't know about me until after Doctor Zayshul had operated on Carrie. He was the one responsible for keeping the three of us apart, and for letting J'koshuk torture you."
His anger grew, exacerbating the dull aches in his head and neck. As his pelt and hair rose, so too did the pain level until he felt as if every nerve in his body was on fire. "I want to see Chy'qui now," he snarled, shaking his head in an effort to relieve the pain as he tried to force himself back to calmness.
Kaid put a restraining hand on his arm. "No. It's over, Kusac. Chy'qui's been arrested by the Primes, not only for ordering J'koshuk to torture you, but for using you to try and kill Prince Zsurtul. He'll be dealt with, believe me. I'm going to demand I be allowed to scan his mind later today. I want to know why you were implanted as much as you do."
Thrusting Kaid aside, he flung the covers back, attempting to get up. "I want to see him myself. Dammit, Kaid!" he snarled angrily, fending off his sword-brother's efforts to prevent him from rising, "Let me go! If not him, then Doctor Zayshul! I need answers!" In the distance, he could hear the faint sound of an alarm.
"I can't allow you see any of the Primes while you're in this state, Kusac."
The door slid open, a blue-coated physician rushing over to them as Kaid used his full strength to force him back against the pillows.
"I told you he was to be kept calm!" snapped the physician.
His rage spiraled out of control, leaving his body racked with pain. As the physician leaned over him, he caught sight of the hypodermic. Though every movement, every touch was agony, he twisted to one side, trying to avoid the medic's hand while redoubling his efforts to escape from Kaid's grasp.
"No sedatives! La'quo, they gave me la'quo, Kaid!" Then he felt the chill of the hypo nozzle touching his skin. "No!" He was frantic now, but as he felt the sting of the pressurized drug being injected, he knew it was too late. Even as he flinched, it began to take effect. He collapsed back on the bed, his limbs robbed of their strength as the drug swept quickly through him. As it did, the pain began to recede.
"Don't want to sleep," he said with difficulty, fighting to keep his eyes open as Kaid released him. "Dreams— always bad dreams."
"There won't be any, Kusac," said Kaid, reaching out to run gentle fingers across his jawline. "The physician knows about the la'quo. This sedative won't activate any still in your system. I understand your anger at what Chy'qui's cost you, but you have to let it go. Nothing can undo what you've been through, but he will be punished for it, you have my word. Rest easy now, we'll stay with you."
As he lost his battle to stay conscious, Kaid's voice began to fade.
Stronghold, Zhal-S'Asha, 18th day (October)
Again he shuddered, pulling his thoughts with difficulty away from the past. That had been the beginning of his realization that even though he'd killed J'koshuk, in death the Valtegan priest still continued to torment him. As he turned away from the darkness outside the window, the artificial brightness of the lounge momentarily dazzled him. The room seemed to lurch, and as he staggered toward the table in the center, he was once more back on the
Kz'adul,
reliving his first meeting with J'koshuk...
the
Kz'adul,
Zhal-Zhalwae, 4th day (May)
The smell of unfamiliar antiseptics was strong in the air. Had they reached their rendezvous so soon? It seemed like only the night before he'd gone to sleep. Automatically, he reached for Carrie with his mind.
Pain exploded at the base of his skull, coursing down his spine then out to his limbs and tail. As spasms racked his body, he yowled in fear and shock. He was falling but, back arched and limbs rigid, he was unable to move to save himself. He slammed into the floor, the impact knocking any remaining air from his lungs. Wave upon wave of fiery agony surged through his body as he lay there barely able to gasp for breath. It seemed to last forever, then as suddenly as it had begun, it stopped and his body went limp. But the pain remained.
Whimpering softly, he attempted to move his trembling limbs, tried to curl himself into a ball. Every movement, no matter how small, hurt; where his body touched the floor, where his limbs touched each other, it felt as if he were still being consumed by the fire that had surged through him.
He heard footsteps approaching and slowly tilted his head toward them. He knew fear as a scent he'd never thought to smell again filled his nostrils. Blurred images were all he could see because of the tears in his eyes; he blinked in an effort to clear them. The shapes resolved themselves into the hem of a red robe above a pair of booted feet.
"Your name is Kusac, and you're my prisoner," the Valtegan said, his Sholan overlaid by a faint lisping hiss as his tongue tried to form the alien sounds. "You have just had your first lesson in the futility of using your mind powers. Unless you enjoyed the experience, I suggest you don't attempt it again. If you do, the collar you wear round your neck will respond by delivering the pain you just experienced. It also sends a signal to my wrist unit. I will then administer more pain. I control the amount, the severity, and its duration. In short, I control you."