He looked surprised at my words. “Jackie, I’m trying to help you.”
I clenched my jaw. This wasn’t helping anything, but Noah was trying to comfort me. I crossed my arms over my chest and sat back in the chair. “Sorry.”
“You’ll be okay,” he said. “I’m here for you. I know I’m not Zane, but we’ve been friends for a while, Jackie. You know you can count on me. I want you to count on me.”
I said nothing. He was probably secretly gloating that Zane was gone. Quietly delighted that I would have no choice but to turn back to him to serve the Itch.
In that moment, I
hated
myself. I hated this body that needed sex to survive. I hated that I’d have to have sex and worse, that I’d end up enjoying it. I hated that I couldn’t turn the Itch off. I hated that I couldn’t close my eyes and dream of Zane, because succubi didn’t dream. I hated immortality. I hated all of it. What good was all this if I couldn’t have Zane?
Noah must have noticed my bleak expression, because he began to pour again.
To stave him off, I spoke up. “Thank you,” I said. Even though I wasn’t feeling particularly grateful at the moment, I knew Noah was helping me. He was always there to pick up the pieces. Strange how that grated right now.
He reached across the table and put his hand over mine. “I’m sorry about Zane.”
I said nothing, swallowing hard.
He gave me an awkward pat on the hand, as if sensing that I didn’t want to be touched, no matter his good intentions. “Your friend Sophie too,” he said after a moment, staring thoughtfully at the Glenlivet. “She was… unusual.”
I looked over at Noah in surprise. Was I not the only one in mourning, then? Was he masking his own disappointment? When he took another shot, I asked, “Did you like her?”
He gave me a twisted smile. “I am a four-thousand-year-old fallen angel, Jackie. There is no creature on earth more jaded than I.” He looked thoughtful for a moment, then added in a gruff voice, “But she was unusual. Untamed. I… appreciated that.”
A strong, self-assured succubus who refused to be constrained by the boundaries put upon her? I could see how she would be fascinating to a man like Noah who valued control so much. “She was someone you couldn’t control,” I pointed out. “You liked that.”
“I barely knew her.” He looked at the empty glass in front of him, and for a moment, he looked just as sad as I did. “But what I saw, I liked.”
He liked her enough to have sex with her twice, I wanted to point out, but did not. Noah never had sex for pleasure, only duty. “Well then, for your sake, I am sorry she’s gone.”
He gave me an appraising look. “Were you not friends?”
“She was Zane’s creation,” I pointed out.
“Ah,” he said, and that seemed to answer everything.
And then I felt like a petty asshole for still disliking Sophie when the woman was dead. It didn’t matter if I liked her or not. I’d gladly live with her at my side for the rest of eternity if that meant I had Zane back.
My thoughts growing too dark and despairing, I shook my head to clear it. “So… what will you do now that the halo is gone?”
He poured and nudged the drink toward me. “My plans haven’t changed.”
There was no command to drink the shot, so I ignored it. Instead, I frowned at him, my head feeling woozy from exhaustion, weeping, and Scotch. “What do you mean?”
Noah drank a shot of his own, then stared thoughtfully at the bottle. “I’ve been tasked to retrieve the halo as one of my burdens. That hasn’t changed. It’s still out there.”
“A demon has it,” I said dully. A vicious, murdering demon.
“Yes, and if I stop her, I’ll have it.”
I shook my head, staring at the dark amber liquid of the shot in front of me. My stomach was roiling from the alcohol burning in the pit of my belly. “And how exactly are you going to stop her? She vaporized the queen with a thought.”
“There are ways,” Noah said thoughtfully. He looked over at me, the tattoos stark against his golden skin. “There is still another halo on the playing field, after all.”
I stilled in my chair.
There was another halo. I could get it—somehow—and defeat Mae. Somehow. And then I could turn both over to the Archangel Gabriel.
And Gabriel had promised to give me anything I wanted.
Anything.
And I wanted Zane back. I wanted him so badly that I could taste it. I clenched my hands to keep my body from trembling in excitement. “You’re going after the second halo?”
He looked at me and nodded. “I have no choice.”
“Phryne will be after it,” I told him. “I want revenge against her. Take me with you.”
He shook his head. “Jackie, I don’t even know where to begin for the second halo—”
“I do,” I said quickly. “Phryne stole my manuscript page. I didn’t understand why my page seemed to have all the information for the tomb and hers had nothing. But then I realized that there were two haloes and her page probably leads straight to the other if she can just decipher what it says. Of course, she doesn’t have a vampire to read it to her now. She’d have to get Serim help.”
“She won’t approach the Serim,” Noah said. “Her master is Ariel and she hates him fiercely.”
Boy, Ariel had a string of unhappy succubi, didn’t he? First Luc, now Phryne. That explained who’d given such deadly information to Phryne, then. The bastard. Of course, Phryne was even worse—she’d turned around and given away my position to the queen. I blamed her for Zane’s death. “If she won’t approach the Serim, it’ll take her that much longer to decipher what she’s got. In the meantime, we can hunt her down and I can make her pay for what she’s done.”
He eyed me, his pale eyes unhappy. “Jackie, revenge is not the answer.”
“I don’t give a shit,” I said flatly. “Nothing matters anymore. Making Phryne hurt half as much as I’m hurting is the only thing that’s driving me right now. It’s either that, or I’m going to
lose
it, Noah.” My entire body began to tremble, and the tears began to spill forth again. “So let me focus on getting revenge, because that’s all I’ve got to go on right now. Okay?”
He sighed, ran a hand down his face. “All right, Jackie. All right. I’ll take you with me.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly, and reached over and squeezed his hand impulsively. “I can always count on you.”
Too bad he wasn’t going to be able to count on me. I was going to have to double-cross him as soon as we found the second halo. It’d hurt and Noah would be furious, but I was going to get Zane back, and I was going to do it even if I died trying.
I had nothing to live for if he was gone.
He patted my hand, the understanding and sympathy in his gaze making my throat ache. “I know you’re hurting, Jackie. I understand that this isn’t easy, but you need to keep your strength up if we’re going to do this. I know you don’t want to think about it, but we can help each other out. I’m here for you.” He patted my hand one more time and then poured another shot.
But my stomach did a sick little flip at the thought. Here for me? Like back when we’d been living together before? He’d proposed to me once, and I’d turned him down. And then we’d continued to have sex until I told him I was choosing Zane. And now that Zane was out of the picture, I’d just fall back into his arms again?
I swallowed the shot in front of me, sick at the thought. The nature of a succubus was that I had to have sex every two days or I’d die slowly of starvation. We were hedonistic creatures with strong appetites—we ate a lot, drank a lot, loved even more—but the only thing that we truly required to continue on was a steady diet of sex.
I looked at Noah, at his big, bronzed hands, tattoos looping his wrists. Thought of him putting those hands on me.
It didn’t fill me with the instant lust it had before, back when I was torn between him and Zane. All I felt was sadness. The only hand I pictured was Zane’s, outstretched as if to touch me one last time.
My hands trembled and I set the shot glass down. “Noah, before we go any further, I want to set expectations.”
He arched an eyebrow at me. “Oh?”
“I want to be your friend and your partner in finding this halo. Nothing more.”
The look on his face became dark. “Jackie, I’m not enough of an asshole to move on you while you’re grieving. I was merely reassuring you. I know as well as anyone that you can’t avoid your succubus curse, even if your heart is broken.”
“I know,” I said, and reached across the table to squeeze his hand in reassurance. “But I’m letting you know that I just want us to be friends. Nothing more. I can’t… I can’t handle more right now. You understand.”
“Jackie, this won’t be overnight. Phryne can blend in to her surroundings. She won’t leave us a noticeable trail. I won’t allow you to starve yourself because you’re pining for the vampire.” His hand caressed mine. “I’ve lost someone too, you know.”
Rachael. My look-alike. The woman he missed so much that he carried an oil painting of her with him. I hadn’t forgotten. And now he’d lost Sophie, the only other woman, apart from me, who had intrigued him in a very long time. No, Noah was no stranger to loss.
“I know,” I said, my voice firm. But I hadn’t changed my mind. I would rather starve than cheat on Zane. We were together, I thought fiercely. And I was going to get that halo and bring him back, and that meant waiting for his return.
I refused to accept any other options.
“You can’t circumvent your succubus needs, Jackie,” Noah said. “It’s impossible.”
His words made an idea flash into my mind. An idea… and a face. “No, actually, it’s
not
impossible…”
“There are a lot of dicks in this business. And I don’t mean their junk.”—
Reality Through the Eyes of a Porn Goddess,
by Remy Summore
~*~
Las Vegas, Nevada
He was waiting for me by a row of slot machines in the Bellagio. Tall, dark, with long, sweeping hair that brushed against his collar and pale silvery eyes that caressed me as I approached. Luc Stone leaned against one of the machines, his beautiful mouth curling with sulky amusement at the sight of me.
He still unnerved me. Incredibly gorgeous, unbelievably selfish, and a creature just like me. The only incubus I knew, and a man with whom I had a rather unfortunate history.
I stopped in front of him, crossing my arms over my chest briskly. I watched his gaze move over the casual jeans I wore, the plain black T-shirt, and the no-nonsense ponytail I’d pulled my hair back into.
“Thank you for meeting me,” I said stiffly to him.
“My master commands and I obey,” he said in that lazy voice that held just a hint of a Cajun accent. But he tilted his head, regarding me. “Someone’s destroyed your innocence,
ma belle
. Your eyes are like flint. Shame.”
“Can we go someplace private to talk?” I asked him.
He gave me a languid smile. “Now why would I do that? You assume I trust you,
ma belle
. Or that I want to help you.”
“You want to help me because it’s in your best interests to help me,” I told him bluntly. “And I know you’re all about
your
best interests.”
He gave me a cool smile. “Well, now I am listening. Shall we go to my room?” He extended his elbow at me, clearly meaning for me to tuck my hand into his arm.
Close enough for him to reach out and touch me, to use his powers on me and knock me unconscious.
Of course, I’d be close enough to stab him with the knife I had at my belt.
Toss-up.
Still, this was going to require some trust on my part. I needed Luc’s help, and I suspected he’d be interested in the information I had. So, grudgingly, I put my hand in his arm. “Not your room,” I told him. “The bar.”
“I am wounded,
ma belle,
” he said with a laugh in his voice, but steered me to the nearest restaurant.
The lighting was soft and neutral, the floors and bar a beautiful pale wood that made the entire room look clean and luminous. It was also almost empty at this time of day, with a long row of deserted square barstools lined up against the bar. We headed for the far end of the bar, smiling as if we were on a date and this was a normal sort of thing. As we walked, people stared. Waiters turned, the few patrons scattered in the restaurant paused in conversation, and the bartender immediately began to head in our direction. Of course. Luc was beautiful. I was sexy. Together, we were stunning. Someone was probably racking their brains, trying to figure out if we were just blessed with good looks or if we were celebrities.
Once, it might have been fun to see that reaction. But not now, not when I felt like one of the walking dead.
I wanted Zane back. Nothing more. This was a means to an end.
I ignored the audience we were gathering and sat on the barstool. Luc sat next to me and clasped his hands, lacing his fingers as he leaned over the bar, all casualness. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
I gave him a tight smile. “Oh, I was just thinking about the good old days. You know how it goes. Hey,” I snapped my fingers and gestured at him, feigning wide-eyed enthusiasm. “Remember that time when you kidnapped me and chained me to your wall? And you put that choker on me to stop my curse? Wasn’t that fun?”
He raised an eyebrow at my words. “As I recall, one of us came out on top of that situation and it was not me. Are you still taking these things personally,
ma belle
?”
“No,” I said, though it was a little grudging. “I wanted to see you because I need another one of those chokers. I want something to block the curse again.”
“And how long do you intend upon wearing it?”
“As long as it takes,” I said grimly. “A week, a year… ten years. Doesn’t matter.”
He arched an eyebrow, intrigued by my hard words. “You are courting death. Should someone remove the necklace from you, you could die within a matter of seconds.”
“Then make it something less easy to grab. A ring, maybe.” My heart seized at the thought. The halo had been a ring, and I’d lost it. Maybe a ring was a bad idea.
Luc’s mouth tugged up in a smile. “Very well then, a ring. What is it that I get out of this deal?”