Succubus Tear (Triune promise) (54 page)

Cain lowered his head and looked again at his hand. “I wish I could say for certain. So far it seems that the implications include me losing everything that I once had.” He looked up. “By you, of all things!”

Purity shook his head. “Is this world all you can think about? All you care about? Have you been paying attention to my last piece of advice?”

“The only advice you gave, was to find out what a Succubus true purpose was, and the consequences of choice!”

“Was that not enough? Knowing the purpose of a Succubus…would it not be a worthwhile thing? Understanding the consequences of choice…would that not be a worthwhile thing?”

“Al’bah told me she doesn’t know the purpose of a Succubus.” Cain thought for a moment. “But wait, you said that she
is
a true Succubus!” Cain stepped closer to Purity. “Al’bah said that she chooses to love truly and faithfully. To be an example for others to follow! Because she said that God loves truly and faithfully!”

“Humans are amazing. Truly, the favor they have from the Creator is great indeed.” Purity fell silent and spoke again when he had Cain’s full attention. “I expected your rage to be more pronounced.”

“I am angry. It just doesn’t feel the same anymore.”

Purity smiled. “That is because your soul is not weak anymore.”

“I was never weak!” Cain shouted.

“Carry a load, and then carry more. Carry a burden, and drag another. Soon the flesh will tire.” Purity cupped his hands. “Make currency and self-pride the center of your attentions, and the spirit will tire. As it is written: ‘
Thou shalt not have any gods before me,’ so sayeth the Lord!”

“I didn’t worship money,” Cain grumbled.

Purity shrugged. “Very well, but do not deny that you had a great deal of your life dedicated to its pursuit.”

Cain nodded. “Purity, I don’t know what to do. Al’bah has told me much about herself and our Bond. I don’t know if I can run forever from Taint.”

Purity’s brow wrinkled in deep thought for several moments. “Cain, Taint is a force of corruption. Though your Al’bah might be Bonded to you, and you to her, did you consider that the two of you are not united?”

“What?”

“Did your Al’bah surrender herself to you?”

“Yes, but what does—”

“Did you give her
your
name in return? Did you give her
anything
in return?”

“What do you mean? I gave up a great deal! I had to—”

Purity shook his head and held up his hand. “You are about to mention what was
taken
from you. The Lord giveth unto you, and you praise Him not. And so, I will not hear your laments whereupon the loss of your
things
which you place more value than
things
deserve.” Purity held up his hand, and a bright light manifested a shining symbol that was as beautiful as it was complex. “The word
Al’bah
means ‘my all’: my world, my devotion, my greatness, my strength, my joy, my fullness, my love, my
everything.
”

He stepped closer and traced his finger along the large scar upon Cain’s chest. “You are so
quick
to replace and betray your Al’bah with such insignificant
things,
Cain. And through it all, you did not
give
your Al’bah
anything
with a heart full of joy?”

Cain felt his scar
burn, and his memory returned of the offer he almost accepted, and how he came by the scar in the first place. “You fucking bastard!” Cain shouted as he placed his hand to his chest in response to his scar burning. “You’re the one who cut me!”

“I have a Father! As do you! You will remember that. Had you
accepted that money, you would have died once you left Law’s presence! For placing such
things
above your Al’bah would have allowed your life to be forfeited to Taint!”

“If you’re so fucking insistent for me to give Al’bah something, then maybe you can tell me what I
could
give! I have
nothing
left, you fucking—”

“Nothing but yourself, and perhaps you might also give her your name.”

“What…now I have to marry Al’bah? I thought that being her Bond was enough!”

“I am amazed that you still trust
your
thoughts and
your
wisdom. You have sought the things of the world so strongly, Cain. And in the end, what if you obtained the entire world? What good would it do you against the press of eternity?”

Purity waved his hand dismissively as Cain was about to speak more. “It is enough. The world and its riches are great indeed, Cain. But, you will find that your Al’bah will reject all of it, for your sake. You would do well to realize that for all that is in the world, there could never be another existence that is
yours.
And what have you done with that existence? You live it so carelessly.”

Purity waved his hand, and Cain could see
every memory of his entire life flash all at once before his eyes like a bolt of lighting. And when Purity spoke again, it was as though he spoke to the burning after-image of his entire mortal existence. It was like his very being from every moment of every year, of every age heard his words.

“Do you truly think yourself so worthless? Then what is the harm in giving yourself to your Al’bah? If your name is so meaningless, then why do you not allow your Al’bah to share that name?
If money is the absolute measurement of your existence, why do you keep your Al’bah?”

Cain’s strength failed him as he sensed the consciousness of the entirety of his identity feel shame. It was as though his existence was multiplied and blamed him of being so inadequate.

Again he felt disgusted with himself, perhaps even as disgusted as Purity seemed to be with him. He noticed the same bright light that disintegrated all detail within the dream and called out, hoping that Purity would answer his last question.

“Even if I do as you ask, then what?”

“Do what is right, Cain. You will know when you seek the kingdom of heaven.”

Cain Explains

“Law! Purity! Save me! Please! Al’bah, help me! Taint—he is there! I can see him!”

—Cain Lamentson

“Ah, Serenna!” Amidres’ sighed and embraced his wife. He put up his coat that was covered in dust. “Today was a good day! We are sure to have a good yield with our herds, and crops come this next year.” He entered the bathroom and washed up, still speaking of the good fortunes that were sure to come.

“Al’bah, please wake Cain for dinner,” Serenna said politely as she started to set the table.

Al’bah approached the couch in tense apprehension. She knew that he was awake, but his emotions were strange; it was almost like Cain had multiple presences within him.

He is not possessed; I sense nothing other than himself within. And yet, it has the feel of so much more.

She kneeled to be closer to her Bond and gently placed her hands upon his shoulders. “Cain, let your eyes look upon me,” she whispered.

Cain opened his eyes; Al’bah sensed a sudden surge of hurt and remorse from him.

Strange, his anger and resentment are so diminished.

“Cain, you are hungry. I am hungry, please come with me.”

Cain closed his eyes and nodded. “Al’bah, please. Could you help me stand?”

He is so different. What happened?
she wondered as she helped Cain to his feet and supported his weight.

“I am with you, my Bond,” she whispered, feeling him stumble slightly.

***

After dinner and dishes, the four of them gathered into the living room. Al’bah sat away from Cain and from the Wells, her face deep in thought. The Wellses sat together on the loveseat while Cain occupied the large chair next to the fireplace.

“I—I don’t even know where to begin,” Cain said, fully aware of the two pairs of eyes staring at him. “Perhaps I should start by saying that many of your questions will be answered if you allow me to finish my explanation, and I will answer any others you might have afterwards.”

“Really?” Amidres’ said with a slight grin. “I don’t know why, but I am excited all of a sudden.”

Here goes,
Cain thought to himself and started to speak.

He told them everything. From the day he cut his hand, to how they ended up in New Mexico. More than once during Cain’s dialogue, Serenna looked outraged, about to say something in anger. But each time, Amidres’ placed his hand on hers to keep her attention to Cain. By the time he finished his explanation, even Serenna was captivated.

Amidres’, however, stared at the floor, his face deep in thought. “If all this is true, then where are Al’bah’s wings? Did she lose them somehow?”

 
Cain looked to Al’bah, who shook her head. Cain was about to speak when Amidres’ stood and faced Al’bah.

“Wait, what was that?
You do not disagree with what Cain has said, but now he looks to you as you looked to him when he was sick. When you were giving the explanations that were left wanting.” Amidres’ sat back down, his voice portraying hurt more than accusation. “You said to me that you would do anything to save your fiancée’s life. I have asked nothing in return except for the full explanation of your claim of innocence.”

“Cain wishes me to show my wings to you,” Al’bah said, not meeting
Amidres’ eyes. “I do not want to show you my wings. Do you need to see them to believe what Cain has told you?”

Amidres’ and Serenna looked at each other and then back to Al’bah. “That is an unfair question to ask,” Amidres’ said calmly. “I ask you one in return. Do you think that your story is believable without any proof? You are asking for us to have faith in something that is outside the usual ken of human existence, and outside what is revealed to us from the Bible.”
 

Al’bah looked uncomfortable and rubbed her arms as if cold. “It is not just a question of whether or not I can or cannot.” Al’bah turned to Cain. “Showing you my wings to you is an act of attachment, submission, and intimacy. Oh, do you not see what it means for me to take you into my embrace?”
 

“What? Then why were your wings out in the dream? Why were they out in that cage? Why didn’t you tell me that your wings are special before?”

Al’bah snarled angrily. “Because I was being tortured right up until I met you! They were being torn, ripped from my body by force! In the cage my wings were out because I was alone before I slept!”

She turned away, taking a moment, breathing deeply to calm herself, and turned back to Cain. “Cain, how does one explain emotions? Do you list the reasons why you laugh? Why you stare so longingly into the night sky? Why your heart beats fast when the moment is true? Do you explain why you blush or cry?”

She turned to Amidres’ and Serenna. “My wings are for Cain. I will not show them to you, no more than either of you would expose yourself to one that does not share a Bond with your heart.” Al’bah lowered her head. “I am sorry.”

Amidres’ sighed and drank some tea that was on the coffee table. “Your story is hard to believe, for sure.” He thought for a moment. “I’m not sure if I believe it myself. But you two don’t strike me as liars. So I think I’ll leave it at that.”

Cain was shocked. “Thank you.”

“So what will the two of you do? There is room here if you wish, but it is a hard life of endless chores.”

Cain hadn’t thought of that. He had a vague idea of trying to re-form his life south of the border. But now without any money, he had no idea on how he could keep moving south, and besides, even if he could make it, even if he could find steady work, what then? Spend the rest of his life running from Taint and his agents like Walter? Cain didn’t like the sound of that at all. The thought of ever working on a constructing site again also repulsed him.

“I…I don’t know what to do. I feel lost,” Cain admitted.
 

“Well, think it over. You’re safe here,” Amidres’ said. He got up, yawning and stretching. “I’m off to bed. Serenna?”

Serenna turned and left the room with her husband.

Switched Perspective

“Perhaps when you experience the fullness of the weakness of humanity, you will have your answer, Succubus.”

—Law