Succubus Tear (Triune promise) (55 page)

Al’bah watched Serenna and Amidres’ leave. She wondered if they believed the truth that Cain gave to them.

The room was empty. Cain kept his stare to the floor. Al’bah sensed that strange sense of multiple presences within him. They all felt like him, and each carried regret, a condemnation of himself.
What happened to him?

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry,” Cain muttered.

Even his apology had a sense of multiplicity. There was grief, regret, shame. But there was also anger, blame, and condemnation to her. “No, I suppose you did not know,” Al’bah whispered in his ear, and she wished with all her heart that Cain could have come to know the sacredness of her wings under less tense circumstances.

“Al’bah, my body has wasted away. My strength is gone. I have lost everything from the last ten years. I can’t return to the life I had, and I don’t think I will ever want to again. But I don’t know what to do. I’ve lost my way. I’m broken. I’m empty.”

Al’bah forced herself to not ridicule Cain. She had endured far worse than he, but it would do no good to challenge what he viewed as a mortal wound to his perspective of what his life ought to be. She even tried her best to think of what he had said from his perspective. Cain was only twenty-eight years old. Ten years was a large portion of his life indeed. Not larger than her time spent in torture, but then again humans went through a debilitating process as they aged, rather than growing stronger.

She also had to remind herself that humans had no firsthand insight into the spiritual side of existence. That would explain why so many thought life in the flesh was all they had. But at the same time, she refused to entertain the notion to feed his self-pity. No, that would only make it grow. Al’bah needed Cain to be strong. Cain needed himself to be strong. But she did not have much practice with tact, and she had no idea how to convey a more meaningful message to him than she already gave. What would it take? What would make him see? How could she possibly understand him?

“Still, it is better that you know these things, than have life slip by you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You have told me that I was the best choice in your life. You also have told me many times during our trek south that you could never see yourself going back to the life you had, that you had changed somehow.”

“You are. I have, or at least I believe I changed. But that money was supposed to be the way we could continue on. So we could—”

Al’bah sighed. Cain hated his life, gave it up for her sake…and
still
sought to rebuild it under new circumstances?

“So we could rebuild the life you had in the lands of your home? So you could spend your days building structures that glorify the follies of man?” Her words conveyed hurt, but her tone remained light and easy. “So where was I going to come into this life? That we are faced with adversaries is no coincidence. You
gave up
that life, and that your plan failed is also no coincidence!”

Cain scoffed and tried to turn away. “How could you understand what I endured? The amount of my loss the—”

What does this have to do with anything I have said?

Al’bah had enough; she brought her hands to Cain’s face and, with all the strength her soul could bear, forced her consciousness into Cain’s mind.

My Bond, forgive me. But I will no longer listen to sufferings that are so insignificant. You lost one god and replaced it for another: your damnable pride.

***

Cain found himself in the desert, but it was different. It was twilight, and the breeze was cool, like a refreshing savior to a merciless hot day. He looked down at his hands and saw that they were small and delicate. He turned to look around and was startled. Not even three feet away stood a perfect replica of himself. Its arms were crossed and its face carried a look of annoyance. But it was the look of annoyance Al’bah carried. It was his face, his features, but it was Al’bah’s slight pout on his lips. The way Al’bah narrowed her eyes on Cain’s face, the delicate way its strong hands rested on strong and muscular arms.

“Very well, Cain,” the vision before him said. “I will endure
all
your sufferings for twenty-four years, firsthand, and you will endure the mere memory of one day of the sufferings I had endured for centuries!”

“What?”
 Cain sputtered, his voice high and wispy. “How is this even possible?”

The vision of Cain raised his hands up to his side and looked around the surroundings. “What you see here is a background of your mind. You are still here, you dwell on this moment. This is made possible by my possession of your senses and forcing it onto itself.”

Anger flared within Cain. Al’bah had possessed him! “I thought Demons couldn’t possess people!”

The vision of Cain laughed; it was as comedic as it was startling. To see his tall, muscular frame in the throes of laughter in the same way Al’bah always had done was disturbing.

“Oh, Cain! How I wish you were a Christian, but you are not! If you were, I would never be able to do this. I never wanted to do this to you! But, if you think I cannot understand the sufferings you have gone through, then how can I reach you? How can I understand you? How can I know you?”

The vision of Cain’s face grew serious. “I only wish that you could
experience
the flow of
existence
like I can.” The vision sighed. “I go to
live
your entire life from since you were only four years old.”

“Wait, how can you do that? How is that possible?”

The vision of Cain shook his head. “Cain,
time
is a concept that humans can only experience one way. I can experience
existence
.”

“Al’bah you’d better—
why? I don’t understand!”
he screamed.

The vision of Cain tilted his head as if intrigued. “You know what, Cain? I asked the very same thing to Law. It was when he asked me if I wanted to be Bound to a mortal. I could not understand why a mortal would want a Demono as his companion. And I am surprised, more than you will ever know, how much my answer parallels his.”

The vision began to grow faint, almost melting into the desert sky. “Perhaps I need to experience the full weakness of the human race firsthand, as you do.” And like that, the vision was gone.

Alone, Cain started to walk in the desert, but as he took his first step, he miscalculated the complexities of the body he now inhabited and fell on the ground. “The hell?” he said, taking stock on how Al’bah’s body actually worked.

It was a unique experience. Instead of just walking, he had to actually think about what it was he was doing. Using the muscles he thought he had produced an amplified effect on the muscles that actually moved his bones. He remembered Al’bah telling him how she didn’t know how strong she was, but he could never imagine how awkward motion could be.

Does this mean…?
Cain thought, reaching around his back to try to extend Al’bah’s wings. 

Suddenly a memory gripped his senses. Taint! Taint was here! The shadow was in front of Al’bah, and it grinned that terrible grin.
Were they pleasant dreams?
What he remembered after that was…

God, no! PAIN!

Al’bah’s Labor

“I have seen hell, and I can’t remember it. I have experienced hell, and I don’t know what it was like. I look upon my life, and it is worthless.”

—Cain Lamentson

Al’bah passed through the entirety of Cain’s life in an eye blink. It was an amazing life! The trials, the triumphs! Cain’s life was as beautiful as it was sad.

If only he would have believed in the Creator! Oh, how much more would life had made sense!

It was quite the eye-opener for her to see just how Cain completed the ritual of Bonding. But in truth, though Cain would never agree, it was no accident. The Christian who tried to witness to him had a spiritual power that Al’bah could not bear to behold.

Did the Creator truly grant his prayer? I wonder.

Oh! How happiness filled her to know her Bond truly sought her out and that in some unconscious way, he knew exactly what he was doing. Her love for Cain doubled, tripled! Her heart felt so full of love.

At last, Al’bah was back in the desert. She started to walk to where Cain was. It was easy enough; all she had to do was follow the sound of the screaming and crying.

Al’bah stopped and looked on the hard surface of the desert. It was still twilight, and her form was easy enough to spot. The ground was gouged in many spots, as if Cain had tried to bury himself; the clothes Al’bah had on before she pulled this trick were torn, as was most of hair that was on her form.

One wing was completely unfurled while the other was halfway unfurled. Her skin was cut and gouged in innumerable spots, her hands coated in sticky blood. The still form took no notice of Al’bah until she knelt down and spoke. “And now I do understand.”

The vision of Al’bah opened her eyes and looked up at the vision of Cain. “I…you…who am I?”

Al’bah caressed Cain’s face and gently whispered, “Here, let me show you.”

Al’bah concentrated for a moment and reverted Cain and herself back to their original forms. A standing mirror materialized upon the desert floor. She sat Cain up, now in his current form, tall but no longer proud. Athletic, but no longer muscular.

Cain sat looking at his reflection for several long moments, moving his hands, touching his face. He looked at Al’bah; his eyes were dull, almost lifeless. With a deafening rumbling, the entire background of Cain’s mind shifted to a homestead. There was a large house, an even larger barn, rolling fields of wheat, and a sprawling orchid just beginning to bloom.

Cain reached out to the cheerily lit house as the fireflies just started to dance. “I want to go home. I want to go to sleep.” His head lowered, and his voice took on a quality Al’bah had never heard before.

He sounded as though he lost…

“I want to die.”

…the will to live.

***

The next two days were hard. Cain’s physical condition improved significantly, and he was even able to help Amidres’ with the chores around the homestead. He would talk and even join in the conversations that went on around him.

His eyes, however, stayed dull and lifeless. What was worse, he would barely talk to Al’bah when they were alone. Nothing she did could bring him out of the depression he was under. Even her most powerful methods of seduction provoked little to no effect. It was as if she had killed him. All he would ever say to Al’bah whenever she tried to bring him out of his despair was that he had nothing to complain about, and needed time.

“How much time do you need, Cain?” Al’bah asked, running her hands over his body, trying to release the soreness that came with his muscles re-growing and healing.

Cain rolled over. “Al’bah, do you remember when I was twelve?”

Al’bah lowered her head. She knew what Cain was alluding to. “Is that what you think of me? Of what I did?”

Cain sat up. “I don’t know what to think, Al’bah. I want to be so mad at you, but I—” Cain shuddered and crossed his arms. “I want to say you raped my existence. I want to say you stole my identity. But…but…”

Cain clutched his knees much like Al’bah had done before. He felt Al’bah hold him in her arms and wings as they wrapped around his body.

“I can remember it all! But at the same time, I can’t. Every time I see you, I am reminded…of something. I know that Taint tortured you…I can’t even imagine the horror I feel even now stretching on for days, months, years, centuries!” He wiped his eyes and touched Al’bah’s wings so gently. “I can’t imagine why you let me touch your wings. That you take me into your embrace.”

Cain sighed and said quietly, “I don’t feel worthy of that.” He started to push her wings away.

Al’bah grasped Cain’s arms with hands of steel and used her wings to force his head to look upon her. “Especially since you now know what it means to me. You are all the more worthy.” She released his arms.