-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Â
To: Katherine Bloom @
ktextv.com>
From; Chloe
Sinclair
Subject: Junior high revisited
Kate,
Parker called last night to
ask me what your favorite restaurant
is. I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but I have yet to
understand the dynamic going on between you, Jesse, and
Parker. I felt
it was only sensible to give you a heads-up. Why is it that I feel like
I'm in seventh grade again?
Chloe Sinclair
Station Manager
Award-winning KTEX TV West Texas
p.s. I told
him you loved ribs and
coleslaw at County Line. He insisted
on something fancier,
which left me wondering why he called at all.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Â
To: Chloe Sinclair
From: Katherine Bloom
Subject: Those were the days
How is it
possible that I am the
only living human being who actually
liked seventh grade? Dissecting frogs, finally getting books worth
reading, the first opportunity to take an elective. I'm
still not sure
that I made the right choice between French and Debate. Who knows where
I'd be
now if I had taken a foreign language. Maybe in France!
Katherine C. Bloom
News Anchor, KTEX TV West Texas
a.k.a. Miss Debate Team, Zach White Junior High
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Â
To: Katherine Bloom
     Chloe Sinclair
From: Julia Boudreaux
Subject: What's this I hear... ?
Going out
with Parker for a
romantic dinner? Does this mean there's
going to be something
wilder than creme brulee for dessert? Pshaw, what
am I saying? Kate doesn't know the first
thing about wild, and forget
about her doing anything crazy.
xo, j
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Â
To: Julia Boudreaux
     Katherine Bloom
From: Chloe Sinclair
Subject: Bad Julia
Jules,
really, don't egg her on.
You know how Kate gets when you all
but dare her to do
something ill-advised.
Kate, don't
listen to Julia. You
know we love you just as you are.
Creme brulee is all you need
to think about for dessert.
Chloe
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Â
To: Julia Boudreaux
     Chloe Sinclair
From: Katherine Bloom
Subject: Bad KATE
Hey, I can
do wild. I can even do
crazy, thank you very much. In fact,
I have a feeling Parker's
in for the night of his life.
Crazy Kate Bloom
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Â
To: Julia Boudreaux
     Katherine Bloom
From: Chloe Sinclair
Subject: re: Bad KATE
Oh, dear...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Â
TWELVE
A day later, at nearly seven in the evening, Jesse sat at one end
of Kate's sofa, Travis at the other.
Katie was nowhere to be seen, but
Jesse knew she was in the house.
He had avoided the golf course for days, hadn't picked up a golf book
or even considered watching an instructional video. The television was
on, and they stared in mindless fascination at
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
reruns on cable.
"I can't believe this is really a show," Jesse said with a grimace, but
he couldn't stop watching.
"My favorite character is Xander. He's really great," Travis offered.
"But he's kind of a nerd."
Jesse glanced between the television and Travis. "If he's a nerd, then
he's a cool nerd."
"Really? A nerd can be cool?"
"You bet they can. Take Bill Gates. He's one of the richest men in the
world."
"IlikeRiley, too."
"The commando guy? I guess he's okay."
Then silence until the next advertisement came on.
"Where's Katie?" Jesse finally broke down and asked.
"Getting ready for her date."
Jesse pushed up straighten "Date?"
"Yeah. She's going out with Parker. He's taking her to Cafe Central."
Jesse's mind clamped down. He knew it shouldn't bother him. Hell, he
should be thrilled. But for
reasons he wasn't interested in examining,
it really ticked him off.
Travis whistled, sort of. "He's going to spend some money in that
place." He never took his eyes off the television. "Since Harlan moved
out and my mom started dating, it's her favorite place to go. She says
it means the guy really likes her if he takes her there. But usually
they only take her to places like Carlo's Canteen and Melville's
Mexican. Melville doesn't seem very Mexican to me, but the little flags
you raise whenever you want something from the waiter are really neat."
He glanced over at Jesse, who stared at him. "What?"
"How do you know where Parker's taking Katie? She hasn't mentioned any
of this to me."
Travis rolled his head back and focused on the screen. "I don't think
she likes talking to you much. Whenever you're around, she gets all red
in the face. Sort of like how she got when Cowboy Bob lifted her into
the saddle. Or that day with the cats. Not so good, I'm thinking. But
me ... she likes talking to me. When she was ironing her clothes for
tonight we talked."
"About what?"
"Stuff."
Jesse told himself to keep his mouth shut. "What kind of stuff?"
"I don't know, just stuff like she said she was going to wear a suit.
But my mother says you should
never wear a suit on a date."
"Did you tell Katie that?"
"Yep. She was real glad to hear it. I told her she should wear a skirt
to show some leg. My mother saysâ"
"Your mother isn't here," Jesse stated mulishly. "And I think Katie
should wear the high-collared shirt
and long flannel pants."
"It's summer. I don't think she's going to."
But Jesse wasn't listening. He pushed up from the sofa.
"Where are you going?"
"To find Katie."
At the end of the hall, he knocked once on her door, then turned the
knob. She whirled around, her
short, cropped cotton top swirling. She
wore a pair of terry cloth shorts, and her hair was wrapped up
in a
towel.
"You can't just walk in here like that!"
"Travis said you have a date."
She gaped, then gave him a look of exaggerated patience. "Maybe you
didn't understand. I said"âshe pointed at herselfâ"
You can't just walk
in here like that
. A correct response from you"âshe pointed
at himâ
"would be something along the lines of
I'm sorry,
or even
I didn't mean
to barge in on you
.
I'll just be moseying along
."
"I don't use words like moseying. Besides, I've already seen you naked.
You're dressed now. What's
the problem?"
"You have never seen me naked!"
"Think backâ"
"Great, another one of your think backs."
"âto the day you were at my house and you stripped naked. You said
something about wanting to try out a new kind of bubble bath."
"I was three!"
"See, you admit it. But that's not what I'm here to talk about." He
clicked the door shut and walked across the room to stand in front of
her. "You said you didn't like Parker."
Disbelief at his unabashed audacity made her mouth fall open. "I never
said that."
"Sure you did. We were standing in the kitchen that day when he came
over with the flowers. You
were streaked with dirt from gardening."
"You said
you
didn't like
him."
His lips quirked at one corner. "I knew someone didn't like him."
She rolled her eyes. "Jesse, what do you want? I'm running late as it
is."
"I think you should cancel."
"I am not going to cancel."
He heard his own frustrated growl. "Then you should go to a place like
Melville's Mexican."
"Why in the world should I go there?"
"They have these little flags you can raise when you want something."
Even he knew he was acting insane, but the thought of his Katieâyes,
his, damn itâgoing out with one of his old friends made
his blood boil.
Her chin rose a notch. "I don't see a restaurant with little flags as
the ideal place to have a romantic dinner."
His jaw went tight and he eyed the tip of her chin, elegant, beautiful,
like the rest of her, and stubbornâalso like the rest of her. The
thought brought him back to his senses. What
she did or didn't
do wasn't any of his businessâand she wasn't his.
More than that, and as much as he hated to admit it,
a man like Parker
Hammond would be good for her. She deserved someone like Parker, who
was a responsible pillar of the community. A man who would never hurt
Katieâeven unintentionally. Jesse knew that no one could say the same
about him.
Suddenly, he had no idea why he was standing there in her room, in her
house. Hell, in El Paso.
He headed for the door with a curse. He stepped out into the hallway
just as the front bell rang.
"Kate!" Travis called.
She gave a little jump, then pushed Jesse the rest of the way out the
door. "That must be Parker. Will
you get it?" she asked. "And be nice
to him until I'm ready. Thanks!"
She slammed the door in his face.
Five minutes later, Jesse, Travis, and Parker sat in the den, each of
them sitting forward in his seat, elbows on knees. Conversation was
strained.
"Did Kate say she'd be long?" Parker asked.
"She didn't say," Travis answered.
Jesse just gave a cold stare as a few more silent minutes went by.
"So, how is it being back in El Paso?" Parker tried again.
"It's all right."
"Have you seen any of the old gang?"
"No."
Parker nodded his head. "We've all lost touch."
Then more sitting in silence.
Finally, Kate came out, and all three males leaped to their feet,
relieved. Though every ounce of Jesse's relief evaporated at the sight
of her. She looked gorgeous, hair done up and kind of wild, and wearing
a silky blouse that shimmered. And a skirtâa damned skirt that showed
off the most incredible legs.
"Wow, Kate," Travis enthused. "You look beautiful."
Her smile was shy but pleased.
Parker looked rapturous at the sight of her. Despite his reasoning
about what Katie deserved, Jesse hated that he felt a slow beating . .
. fury? Yep, fury, he reassured himself. The kind that any good friend
of hers would feel over how she looked like a damned fine seductress.
It had nothing to do with jealousy.
He didn't let himself think about
the fact that fury made little sense and should hardly be more
acceptable than jealousy.
The couple headed out the front door, but just before she escaped, she
looked back and whispered, "Wish me luck."
The plank of oak thudded closed. Jesse and Travis stared.
"Luck?" Jesse asked. "What does she need luck for?"
Travis turned to him with the seriousness of a priest. "My guess is
that she's going out to have sex."
"Sex?"
"Yep, she's acting an awful lot like how my mom's been since she
started dating."
Jesse didn't want to think about Travis being aware of his mother's . .
. extracurricular activities, just as
he didn't want to think about
what he felt regarding the possibility of Katie on her way out the door
to have sex.
And yet he couldn't stop thinking about it. "Let's see what else is on
TV," he grumbled.
*Â
*Â *
Dinner was divine.
Kate sat back against the upholstered chair and drank in the
surroundings. The lights burned low; music played softly in the
background.
Parker reached across the table for two and took her hand. "You are the
most beautiful woman here."
She felt the blush sting her cheeks, and it felt good. She realized
that she felt happy, even if she wasn't filled with crazy excitement.
This was what life was about.
Squeezing back, she said, "Thank you. Everything has been perfect."
Lulled by the same contentment she had felt with Parker at lunch and
when they spoke on the phone,
she decided that if she wanted to stop
living on the sidelines of life, this was her opportunity to take
drastic measures. It was time she moved forward toward a new future.
She also thought about Julia's e-mail.
"I thought we could go back to your place," she blurted out.
His eyes filled with desire, his voice lowering. "I'd like that."
They drove to his house on Rim Road. She had seen it once or twice. It
was a showcase of tasteful furniture and artwork. Which meant it looked
nothing like the eclectic mix of Kate's adobe house with
its
terra-cotta tile roof, the overstuffed sofa, and multicolored
hand-painted kitchen chairs.
"Can I offer you a glass of wine?"
She agreed, sat on his ultramodern chaise, her skirt fluttering around
her knees, then sipped the full-bodied cabernet, hoping for liquid
courage to keep her from bolting. She tried to make herself think wild
if not crazy, but it only made her heart hammer harder.
Parker turned on the stereo, pressed a button that opened the living
room drapes, and she saw the city spilling out below their perch on the
hill.
"It's beautiful," she said, meaning it.
He sat down next to her without answering, then ran the backs of his
fingers along a single loose tendril
of hair that curled down her
cheek. She waited to feel a tingle of sensation, a shiver of longing .
. . something, anything.
"I have always loved your hair," he said, his voice ruggedly deep.
She mentally rolled her shoulders, took a deep breath, and let him kiss
her.
His lips met hers, gently coaxing, and when she couldn't quite bring
herself to open up, he ran his hand down her spine with sensual prowess.
She brought her arms up and slipped them around his shoulders, making
him moan in pleasure. Then suddenly her mouth was open, and his tongue
tangled expertly with hers as he pushed her back into the cushions.
Her pulse raced, though it was a panic born not of fear of Parker, but
fear that no other man but Jesse could make her feel anything. This
time, with this man, she didn't feel anything. She felt nothing for him
other than a warm, comfortable friendship.
With effort, she concentrated, trying harder to lose herself in the
moment. She wanted to have sex. She was going to have sex.
She relaxed into the kiss. She ran her hands up his arms. But still she
couldn't drum up more than a blip on the Thrill Chart.
Okay
, she told herself,
you can do this
.
But when his hand drifted up her midriff, and she realized he was
headed for her breast, she couldn't
take it anymore. Feeling like at
any moment she would cry with aggravated frustration, she pulled back.
Kate squeezed her eyes closed, embarrassment racing through her, then
opened them again. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I never should have
started this."
Parker looked like he didn't know what to think, much less say.
"It's too soon," she added, hoping that this was true. "You are so
wonderful and I don't want you to
think less of me for being so
forward."
"I don't think less of you, Kate."
She wanted to strangle him for understanding. She wanted him to rant
and rave and tell her that she
didn't know what she wanted and that he
wasn't going to wait around forever. She wanted him to stand up to her,
not put up with the runaround she constantly gave him.
Then he surprised her.
"This is about Jesse, isn't it?"
Her mouth fell open in disbelief, then she groaned silently. She didn't
know how to answer.
"Of course it is," he said. "Everything changed when Jesse showed up in
town. Next thing I know you're calling me, wanting to go to lunch. The
other night you called for no other reason than to talk." He took her
hand. "I was flattered. You are an amazing woman. You're beautiful and
smart. But you're also kind and caring. It's an incredible
combination." He studied her fingers. "I even thought that maybe you'd
come around and really see that I'm not half
bad."
"Oh, Parker. You are a wonderful man." Disappointment seared through
her at the realization that this wasn't enough for her. "Any woman
would be lucky to have you."
He smiled ruefully. "But I'm not wonderful enough to capture your
heart."
She opened her mouth to say something, deny his words. But she couldn't
lie. As much as she didn't
want to admit it, to him or herself, she
knew he was right. He wasn't enough to capture her heart.
He stood. "Come on, I'll take you home."
Feeling horrible and wistful for what might have been, she let him
guide her to the car. They drove through the dark streets silently.
Kate pressed back against the leather seats and wished desperately
that
she could love him.
At her house, she started to invite him in, but he touched her hand.
"Good night, Kate."
She nodded, then slipped inside, waiting quietly with her back against
the closed door until his headlights shone against the house as he
pulled out of the drive. Then she sighed, every ounce of energy and
determination flowing out of her, leaving her weak, utterly spent, and
not at all happy.
She felt frustration push at the wistful longing. Everyone wanted her
to changeâthe audience, the auditors, Juliaâeveryone, that is, except
Jesse, who wanted her to remain some figment from his past. She
couldn't quite do either.
Thinking she'd fall face-first into bed, she went to her room. But when
she craved a cup of chamomile tea, she changed quietly into a tank top
and shorts before heading to the
kitchen. As if deep down she
had known he would be there, she found
Jesse sitting at the table in the moonlight.
As always, the sight of him made her body come to life. His dark hair
was raked back from his forehead to fall against his neck in gentle
sleek, shiny waves. His elbows were planted on either side of a
placemat, his biceps showing from beneath the edges of his soft cotton
T-shirt. For long seconds all he did was look at her when she entered,
like he hadn't a clue why he was sitting there.
"Is something wrong?" she asked.
"Yeah," he answered finally. "Just about everything. But that's beside
the point. How was your date?"
She came into the kitchen and flipped on the light switch. "It was
great."
"You don't look so great."
"Okay, it was less than great, not perfect."
Then her voice cracked. "It's over."
"What?"
She sat down at the table, dropping her head in her hands. "Parker and
I aren't going to see each other anymore."
Good
, Jesse thought.
Fortunately, he didn't say it out loud, though he did feel the all too
familiar need to protect her.
"It's over, finished." She swallowed hard.
He couldn't help it. He muttered an oath, then scraped his chair closer
and placed his hand on her head. "Ah, Katie. Tell me what happened."
"I can't do anything right these days," she whispered, her voice
cracking again as she fought back tears.
"That's not true." With infinite care, he pulled her into his arms as
one tear slid down her cheek, then
she buried her face in his chest and
cried. "You do plenty right," he whispered, rubbing her back.
"No, I don't. And tonight I failed."
"Failed at what, sweetheart?" he asked patiently, rocking her gently.
She pushed away with a start. "At sex."
Jesse's mind took a second to adjust. "Sex? You had sex?" Hell, just as
Travis predicted.
"
Failed
at sex, and failed at
having a boyfriend."
"You were barely dating." He set her back in her chair and pushed up
from the table. "I want to get
back to the first part. Are you saying
you had sex with Parker?"
"Tried? Yes. Had? No. I went to his house with every intention of
sleeping with him. That's what led
up to calling it quits."
Staring at the top of her head, he was foolishly pleased.
She jerked up her chin, fire burning in her eyes. "I couldn't go
through with it! I went to his house ready, willing and able. And ..."
He started to pace. "And what?"
"And then he kissed me and I didn't feel anything, at least not
anything as good as when you kissed me, which made me want to run in
the opposite direction and not have sex even though I was telling
myself
t was high time I had some andâ"
Shuffling footsteps came down the hallway, catching their attention.
"What's going on?" Travis stopped in the doorway, his hair disheveled
with sleep, his eyes squinting against the overhead light.
Kate tried to smile. "Nothing's wrong, T. Everything's fine."
"Bad date?" he asked knowingly.
All of a sudden, her lower lip quivered.
"Thought so," he added.
Without a word, the boy walked over to the freezer, reached up on his
toes and pulled out some Haagen-Dazs, found a spoon, then returned to
the table. Peeling off the top, he set the ice cream in
front of her,
then offered the utensil.
"What are you doing?" Jesse wanted to know.
"It's a cure. Chocolate's better, but all Kate's got is strawberry."
"Don't tell me," Jesse said with a grimace. "You learned this from your
mother."
Travis smiled.
Kate didn't smile, but she took the ice cream. She started to eat.
Jesse realized he was extremely pathetic if a twelve-year-old kid was
the only person around here who could deal with situations. "I'll get a
bowl."
Travis shook his head. "No bowl. For some reason, using a bowl doesn't
help anyone feel better nearly
as well as eating straight from the
carton."
Both males stood side by side, arms crossed, peering at her like she
was some kind of exotic animal at the zoo as she ate bite after bite.
After a while, Travis nodded his head in approval. "She's really eating
now. A sure sign of recovery. I'm going back to bed."
Travis left them alone, and Jesse sat down next to her. He could see
that indeed she was feeling better.
In fact her hazel eyes started
firing with green. This, he could tell, was a sure sign something was
up.
The spoon went still and she glanced over at him. Then she set it down
with a decisive bang. This really couldn't be good.
She licked her lips, though it kind of looked like she was trying to be
sexy. He realized yet again, and
with the same astonishment, that she
was a twenty-seven-year-old woman with very little experience. Hard to
imagine in this day and age. But it pleased him more than it should
have.
She pulled the clip out of her hair, and the long curls fell in a
tumble.
"Katie," he asked carefully, "what are you doing?"
She bit her lower lip and looked at him through lowered lashes. "I was
just thinkingâ"
"Maybe you shouldn't think after so much sugar."
She leaned close and smiled with the excitement of someone who had just
come up with an ill-advised plan. "Have sex with me."
Jesse's jaw dropped and his spine straightened.
"You're bad boy Jesse Chapman. You can't go all prim on me. You'll ruin
your reputation."
"You're the one who made the no-sex rule."
"I take it back. In fact, why bother with rules? I feel wild. I feel
crazy."
"You and I aren't having sex," he said, his tone warning.
"Why?"
"Because."
"Now there's a great answer."
"You want a better one?" he demanded. "How about this? I'm not
interested in a commitment at this point in my life. And despite your
attempts to be modern and forward, you aren't interested in sex
without
a commitmentâwhich, by the way, were you planning on marrying Parker?"
He expected that to stick in her craw, make her get indignant and storm
out of the room. Instead, she smiled at him. A real sexy smile, and he
knew it wasn't a good sign.
This time when she leaned close, she kissed him. Heat raced along his
senses. He wanted her.
He pulled away. It didn't matter what he wanted. She wasn't someone
whom he could lose himself in
for a mindless space of time. "No, Katie.
I can't afford this," he whispered. "And neither can you."
"How can it possibly hurt?" She kissed him again, softly on the lips,
and she could feel sensation
shudder through him.
"My reputation alone will hurt you."
"I don't care about your reputation, at least not now."
"Damn," he groaned.
But when he would have gotten up and left, she wrapped her arms around
his shoulders.
"We're both damned, I suspect," she murmured. Then she kissed him. No
sisterly peck. No awkward nip.
"You make me crazy," he whispered one last desperate time, before he
captured her mouth with his own.
His hands ran down her back. She could feel his barely held patience
war with the hard-driving lust. He showed her what he wanted, molding
her mouth to his. She sighed softly.
Her breath shivered through her and her mind reeled. The feel of his
lips on hers was exquisite, warm
and heated, gentle but demanding. Her
eyes closed, and she exhaled like she had been waiting. Waiting
to
breathe, waiting for thisâthis deeply heavenly touch that made her body
come
alive in a way that
she hardly understood. When his tongue grazed her
lips, coaxing them to part, she stopped thinking.
She thought she heard a soft mewling sound and refused to concede that
it had come from her. Though that became difficult to do when the next
sound she heard was his deep, rumbling growl of satisfaction.
He ran the tips of his fingers along her skin, drifting low over her
throat, then down farther to the scooped neck of her tank top. His gaze
trailed low as well, and suddenly she remembered that she wasn't
wearing a bra.
The fire in his eyes flickered brighter, then his fingers ran along the
edge of the thin cotton, back and forth, teasing, before he gently
tugged the material up, exposing her breasts.