Sometimes you have days that are so bad, and your emotions have been on overdrive for too long, that eventually you hit a breaking point. You’re at the top of the meter in your heart, slipping across the red warning line that means you’re feeling too damn much today. I’ve never reached that point in my life. Not until my drive home.
The moment my car pulls out of the parking lot and heads toward my house, I burst into tears. Every single second of that date was soured by the bittersweet memories of my days with Park.
I know Bayleigh had the best intentions for me, but maybe I’m never supposed to find true love. Hell, I’m not even supposed to date around and have fun with it. Maybe my time for love has come and passed because the one person on this earth who is my soul mate is also a player who lives too damn far away.
I wait until I’m at a red light and then call Bayleigh, putting the phone on speaker so I can keep driving. Last time I called her because I was upset, I ended up driving there and seeing Park. So tonight, for the sake of playing it safe—I’ll just keep my talks with Bayleigh via phone only.
She doesn’t answer. Great.
Halfway home, I realize that I’m actually pretty hungry because I didn’t eat much of the popcorn at the movie, due to not wanting to share germs with Mark’s hand. I pull into a McDonald’s and order a cheeseburger and fries. Then, like the loser that I am, I drive through the line and then park in a parking spot. It’s too awkward to eat inside the restaurant by myself, and if I wait until I get home then my fries will be cold.
I sit here in my car, eating fry after fry and wondering if this is what my life will be like from now on. Me, alone, with food for comfort. Bayleigh texts me back, and I welcome the distraction.
Bayleigh:
Sorry I couldn’t answer. On my anniversary date with Jace so I snuck away to text you so I wouldn’t be rude to him. Love you!
I look at the date. August 9
th
. How could I forget my own best friend’s first anniversary? My head falls back against the headrest, a single fry hanging out of my mouth. I am such a shitty friend. I pull myself together and text back.
Me:
Just calling to say happy first! Love you! Tell Jace hi!
I figure all the exclamation marks will be enough proof for her to think I’m happy and that I wasn’t lying just now. This is her night and she deserves to feel loved. The last thing she needs is for me to ruin her night by complaining about my stupid love life.
While I’m staring at my phone, I scroll back through the call log and my heart tightens when I see Park’s name. He called me a little over two hours ago and never left a voicemail or a follow-up text. Maybe it was an accident. He probably meant to call another girl he’s dating.
Just as I’m staring at the phone screen, it lights up again.
Park is calling.
If I think about this too much, I’ll lose my nerve and miss the call. So I swallow my fear, and answer the phone.
“Hello?”
“Where are you?”
The sound of my own heart racing in my chest nearly muffles out his words. “I’m at the McDonald’s by my house.”
“Are you alone?” he asks quickly, followed by, “Never mind. I don’t care. Stay there, I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Wha—” I begin, but I’m cut off by the phone call ending. That was weird. And now I am both crazy excited and crazy terrified. Why was he acting like that? Is something wrong? Why is he in Texas?
I quickly shove the rest of my fries in my mouth and crumple up the food bag, tossing it on the floor in my back seat. Then I pull down the visor mirror and check out my reflection. It’s not as bad as it could be, I guess. At least I’m still wearing makeup from my date and my hair is pretty good.
Park’s truck pulls into the McDonald’s parking lot. He parks next to me and suddenly I’m so nervous I think I might pass out right here in the front seat of my car. When he walks toward me, I push open my door and beg my shaky legs to cooperate when I try to stand up.
He’s changed in the weeks since I’ve seen him. His jeans are tighter in the thighs, and he’s wearing a motocross shirt I’ve seen before, only know it’s budging around his biceps and chest. If my knees weren’t already weak from the nerves, they’d be practically collapsing as I take in the sight of something I hadn’t thought was possible: Park got hotter.
“Hey, Becca.” He runs a hand through his hair as he stares down at me, letting his elbow hover in the air a moment while he grips the back of his neck. I’ve always loved his forearms, the way his veins stick out when he flexes. Now, the effect is doubled.
“Hi, Park,” I say, gnawing on my bottom lip.
He takes a step closer to me. “You look beautiful. As always.”
I swallow, feeling blood rush to my cheeks. “You look…big.”
He laughs and glances down at himself for a moment. “I’ve been working out a lot,” he admits, taking another step toward me. My legs might seriously turn to mush any second now. I back against my car, keeping the door open as a barrier between us. I’m afraid if there wasn’t a massive piece of metal in front of me, I might dive straight into Park’s arms and beg him to take me right here on the concrete.
“I can tell,” I say quietly, letting my eyes rake over his gorgeous sculpted body.
He shrugs. “It’s the only thing I can do to avoid going crazy. Working out and racing.”
“Why would you go crazy?” I ask. My fingers tighten over the top of the car door. Surely he can see my heart pounding through my chest. I watch his chest, watch the muscles tighten under his shirt as he takes another step forward. I can’t see if his heart is racing, but I hope it is. Otherwise, I’m getting the wrong idea about what’s going on right now.
“Becca,” he says, stopping to inhale a deep breath. “I can’t live without you. I can’t be without you. These last weeks without have killed me. I learned things about myself that I had no idea existed—like how I am completely and totally in love with you.”
I realize my mouth has been open this entire time, so I close it. Park takes one final step forward, taking my hand and gently pulling me to the left until I’m clear of my car’s door. Carefully, hesitantly, his other hand slides around my waist. As much as I want to wrap my arms around his neck, I keep my hands firmly at my sides. Park still has explaining to do, and I want to hear every word of it.
“It’s true, Becca. I swear on my life it’s true.” The warmth of his hands pressing into my back lulls me into a sense of security that I haven’t felt in a long time.
“Why am I supposed to believe you?” The words are out of my mouth before I realize what I’m saying. But good for me. I need to question him. I can’t just take him back at the drop of a hat—he has to prove that he’s real.
“I haven’t so much as looked at another girl in months,” he says, his eyes never leaving mine. “That stupid photo online was nothing. Her dad works for Cycle-R Industries and she said I should go to this corporate party with her to get a leg up on my career. I didn’t realize she had planned on the paparazzi to be there, documenting what looked like a date just so she could piss off her ex-boyfriend. And I’m sorry I was an ass about it last time. I just wanted you to trust me and believe me at my word. I want you to know that I would never lie to you, and when you didn’t well—” He sighs. “I’m sorry. I should have explained back then. Instead I lost my temper and lost you in the process.”
“How often are you going to lose your temper now?” I fold my arms across my chest to let him know I’m serious. His eyes plead with mine.
“Never again. I swear on my life. I’ll let you know everything that happens with me from now on. And I’ll sure as hell never go anywhere with any girl again. I need you in my life. I want to tell the entire world that you’re mine and that I have no intention of ever dating anyone else again.”
“That sounds…” I say slowly, letting him suffer in anticipation as long as I can possibly hold out. “Like something I could get used to…”
“Come here,” he says, pulling me toward him. Then, with a devilish grin, he glances around the parking lot, which is pretty empty except for the random person going through the drive thru. I allow my fingers to slide up his chest, reveling in the newly formed muscles on top of what I used to think was the most gorgeous body ever. Now it has only improved. With a grin, Park reaches behind him and pulls open the backdoor of his truck, revealing the empty backseat. There is no center console back there to get in the way. He turns, grabbing me around the waist and lifting me into the truck. I squeal and latch onto his neck as he pulls me into the truck, settling me on my back. I fit perfectly in the back seat. Park, however, has to hover over me on his hands and knees because he’s too tall.
His face hovers over mine, his lips just a mere inch away from mine. My mouth practically waters with the anticipation of kissing him again, of wiping away the awful memory of the kiss I didn’t want at the theater tonight. But instead of giving me what I want, he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and then turns around. I whimper at the missed opportunity. He reaches behind us and grabs the door, pulling it closed. Then he reaches in his pocket and presses the lock button his keys. His truck honks in reply, letting us know we’re safely locked inside.
His eyes look into mine. “I want you to be mine forever, Becca. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
I lace my fingers around his neck. He rests on one elbow and slides his other hand down my side, stopping just below my butt. “You’re so freaking hot,” he says, allowing himself a quick peak at my cleavage. I’m so glad I wore this V-neck shirt, by the way.
“I could say the same about you,” I say, squeezing his bicep for good measure. He smiles and then leans in, giving me the kiss my body has been aching for.
My fingers slide up his neck and tangle in his hair as I pull him closer, kissing him with all of the lust and love that has built up inside of me over the last few weeks. I want him and I need him. I love everything about him. Even when he pisses me off, I still need him in my life. There will never be anyone who makes me feel the way Park does.
His body presses into mine, making my toes tingle and my stomach twist into a knot that somehow feels amazing. I want more of him, and as we kiss, I slide my hands up his shirt, feeling the ripples of his abs under my fingertips. His hand squeezes my butt, and then slides down further, pulling my thigh up and over his hip. I break away to catch my breath and then dive back into kissing him, feeling his mouth with my own, grazing my tongue along his bottom lip.
“Park,” I whisper between kisses.
“Yes?” he says, panting for breath. I suck his bottom lip between my teeth and he shudders. Then I let it go and sigh.
“As much as I want you right now, I don’t want my first time to be in the back of a truck in a McDonald’s parking lot.”
This makes him chuckle. He leans back on his elbow, pulling away from me enough to see me. His hand reaches up to touch my neck, trailing down to my collar bone and then along the side of my breast before coming to a stop on my hip. “Not to worry my love,” he says, letting his eyes roam over my body as if he were imagining it underneath all of my clothes. “I would never allow our first time to be anything less than the most romantic time of your life.”
I roll my eyes, but smile in spite of myself. “How will this work out? We still live two thousand miles apart.”
“Oh, right,” he says, looking up contemplatively as if this thought just occurred to him for the first time. “Have I not told you?” he asks, lifting an eyebrow. Something in his voice tells me he’s been hiding something from me.
“Told me what?” I ask suspiciously.
His gorgeous smile twists into a cocky grin. “I just bought a house in Lawson.”
“Oh my god, you’re kidding.” I sit up, nearly hitting my head on the back window. Park starts laughing and for the briefest moment, I fear that this is one big joke. Then he shakes his head. “Not kidding at all. In fact, the second floor has this great studio space with a window that looks into the back yard. I’m not really an artist myself, but you see, I’m hoping that by next summer, I would have won over the heart of this girl I’m dating. And then she can move into that studio and create her awesome artwork.”
My mouth falls open as I listen to him. He touches the bottom of my chin with a single finger and brings it up to his lips where he gives me a quick kiss. “That is, of course, if she wants to spend that much time with me. Right now I’m not so sure. But it was worth taking the gamble.”
“Oh my god, Park,” I say, feeling a warmth grow in my chest that isn’t from making out. “Are you kidding? Of course I’ll want to be with you that long. I want to spend forever with you.”
“That’s good to hear,” he whispers. He reaches into his pocket again. He pulls out a small piece of metal and hands it to me. “Here’s your house key.”
I take the key and tears fill my eyes. “I love you.” I can’t believe how easy the words come out of my mouth and how perfect they feel when I say them. But it’s nothing compared to the way I feel when Park replies, “I love you, too.”
###
Don’t miss part 4 of Becca’s series: Summer Forever, coming May 2015
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