Summer Kisses (47 page)

“Oh my God.” She sat up. “I don’t know why I didn’t put it together before.
She
was pregnant with Mandy when Ricky and I met.” Lucky had been the other woman all along … not
her
. Somehow it made Lucky feel a tiny bit better. “I’m Princess Diana to
her
Camilla Parker-Bowles. God, I love that.”

“I thought you might.” He continued twining and untwining her hair. It seemed unconscious. “About the girls… You called them great. Do you really mean it?”

“Are you kidding? They’re fantastic. Viviane reminds me of me at her age—all gangly and dorky. And Dawnie—what woman wouldn’t love a little girl who wears sequined dresses and flip-flops. And Mandy, when she sang … wow.”

“Speaking of Wow, I heard that’s what Vivi and Dawnie are calling you. Mom upside down?”

Lucky couldn’t have stopped the bright smile that arched across her face if she’d tried. “It’s wonderful. I’m a mom upside down.”

“That’s fantastic. They need a Wow. Rosie left a lot to be desired in the parenting department.” He cleared his throat. “I overheard you talking to Viviane earlier about a bucket list. Do you really intend to follow through with that?”

She hadn’t really thought about it. She would never take the place of their mother, but if she could give the girls some nice memories, she’d do it. “Yes.” Lucky resolved more to herself than to Will. Every child should have fantastic childhood memories. “Yes.” It was stronger this time.

“You are a remarkable woman.” There was laughter in his voice. “I don’t know anyone else who would do that.”

“Childhood should be happy and full of fun.” Hers had been anything but. “When are the girls’ parties? Oh God, am I invited?”

“Parties?” Will sounded confused.

“Their birthday parties? You said their birthdays were coming up. When and where?”

“Birthday … singular. They were all born on the same day—Halloween.”

Lucky tried puzzling it out, but it didn’t make sense. “I don’t get it.”

“They were all born on Halloween. Mandy and Vivi were a coincidence, but Dawnie was a C-section to round out the number. Ricky liked the “energy” of them all having the same birthday.”

“How come I never realized what a crazy bastard he was?” Looking back, Lucky could see it, but in the moment, she’d been blind.

“Ricky had a way of explaining things that made perfect sense. He could make anyone believe in anything. Don’t get me wrong, he had issues, but he could sell anything to anyone. When he was in a good mood, there was no one kinder, smarter, or funnier.” Will smiled like he was caught up in a pleasant memory. “He could make you feel like the most important person in the world. Amazing.”

She’d forgotten that. All of the bad had edged out the good. “He was a shit, but he was a cute shit.”

Will stiffened. “You must miss him very much.”

Lucky thought about it. “Not as much as I thought I would. What does that say about me? I should be angry and hurt about the situation, but I can’t work up the energy.”

“You’re a fighter, and you’ve never dwelt on the past. Good for you.” Will patted her cheek. “Thanks for being here.”

“Thanks for making me come live here.” She took a moment to enjoy having her head on the shoulder of a man who cared about her. She hadn’t felt cared for in a very long time. “Do you think it’s okay for them to call me Wow?”

He stroked her hair. “If you want to be their mom upside down, I think you should. But they need stability, which they have never had, so don’t take the responsibility lightly.”

“I don’t.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I want it so badly. I know it’s too soon, but I want it so much.” Her voice shook a little. It had been a long time since she’d opened herself up to vulnerability, but she wanted to hear him tell her it was okay. Approval wasn’t something she was used to asking for, but she wanted it so badly from him.

“I think it’s wonderful. They love you and want to be loved by you, but once you make the commitment, you can’t back out or run away.” His voice rumbled in his chest.

Was she ready for this? Forever was a mighty long time. She’d run away after Ricky’s death, but if she committed to these girls, she couldn’t run … ever. They deserved permanence. Was she ready for that?

Her heart screamed, “Yes!” Besides, it was too late. She’d die before turning her back on the girls, and that meant she needed to be in their lives. Her life didn’t work without them in it. She was staying, and she’d work out the details later.

“I know.” Those two words held a lifetime of meaning. “I know,” she said louder. And she did know, and along with that knowing came the weight of knowing that she was staying … forever.

“Now, about those birthday parties … I mean party?”

“Um … there isn’t a party that I know of.” As if he’d suddenly realized that he’d been playing with her hair, he dropped it. “Come to think of it, I don’t think the girls have ever had a birthday party … well, besides family.”

“Seriously?” Lucky couldn’t believe that, in the girls’ whole lives, no one had thrown them a proper birthday party. “Their birthday’s on Halloween?”

Today was October first, so that gave Lucky thirty days to plan the birthday party of the century. “I’ll take care of everything. Can you get a list of their friends?”

“Yes.” He sighed. “But why? Why do you want to do this for them?”

“Why not? Everyone deserves a birthday party. I can do this…. This I’m good at. I throw a mean party, if I do say so myself.”

“That you do.” He kissed the top of her head again. “I think it would be wonderful if you threw the girls a birthday party. Should we make it a surprise?”

“You read my mind,” Lucky said.

His blush from earlier over the room comment came to mind. Not that she was in any shape to start anything, but testing the waters was okay. Slowly, she leaned up to kiss him gently on the lips. At the last minute, he turned his head away, and the kiss landed on his cheek.

So much for testing the waters…. The river changed course and then dried up. Lucky swallowed the lump of embarrassment in her throat. Mama had lost her damn mind, and Lucky felt like an idiot. He was not interested in her as more than a friend.

Lucky was making plans for the girls, and she was more than halfway to loving them. Will laced his fingers behind his head and stared up at the ceiling of his blue bedroom. Right now, only mere yards separated him from Lucky. Was she lying on her bed staring up at the ceiling and thinking about him?

Probably not.

Someday, would the kiss on the cheek she’d given him be one on the mouth?

No, she didn’t think of him like that. The yards turned into miles. It was ironic—Lucky didn’t want the world to know she loved Ricky, and Will didn’t want Lucky to know that he loved her. After Mama’s comment at the family meeting, he’d been sure Lucky would figure it out, but she hadn’t seemed to notice, which had further proven that she wasn’t interested.

Tonight, out by the pool, he’d damn near kissed her. She’d been in his arms, her head on his shoulder, his fingers grazing the edge of her breast, and he’d finally worked up the courage to kiss her when she’d planted one directly on his cheek. A cheek kiss, along with the head pat, was a thank-you to dear old mom for a great job on the Thanksgiving turkey. It wasn’t lover material.

Will flipped to his side and punched the pillow a couple of times. A cheek kiss. Christ, he was thirty-eight fucking years old. He flipped to his other side.

And he’d seen her first.

Almost seventeen years ago on that lonely stretch of highway outside of New Orleans, Will had seen her first. He remembered it like it was yesterday. Ricky’s tour bus had broken down, and she’d pulled up in one of her old cars to help. As soon as Will had seen her, he’d smacked the button that opened the door, jumped down the stairs, and gone to meet her. Even in her worn Levi’s and light green tee shirt, she could have been a supermodel strutting down the runway. Because it hadn’t seemed real that a woman that beautiful was walking toward him, he’d taken off his coke-bottle-thick glasses and cleaned them with the bottom of his shirt. And then promptly dropped them on the ground, where they had bounced under the bus. In the few seconds it’d taken to retrieve them, his brother was out of the door and charming Lucky into having dinner with him.

If only Will hadn’t dropped his glasses or had had Lasik surgery one week earlier instead of the week after he’d met Lucky, his life would have been so much different. Or would it? Was the glasses-drop the universe’s way of being kind? Would she have chosen Ricky over him even if she’d met Will first? More than anything, he wanted to believe that she’d have fallen for him, but in his heart of hearts, he knew it didn’t matter. She would have chosen Ricky anyway. When his brother turned on the charm, even Lizzy Borden would have retired her hatchet and run away with him.

That whole life’s-not-fair thing reared its ugly, spiteful head. He punched the pillow a couple more times and flipped onto his back. He needed to move on. With her living this close, he needed to find someone else and try to eek out some sort of life. Since she thought of him as the brother she’d never had, he needed to make himself think of her as his brother’s wife … the sister he’d always wanted. He’d put together a deal that would save the family financially, and the only thing that could bring it all crashing down around their ears was unrequited love.

Living this close to her, he needed to keep his distance. No more touching, and from now on, he’d only think of her every other minute instead of every minute of the day. The counting wasn’t working. Once he’d gotten a taste of touching her, he couldn’t get enough.

His nieces and Lucky’s future were riding on his reality show. If he could make it, well, a reality, no one would have to worry about money again. The only problem was, he’d have to sacrifice his heart to make it happen.

~~~

Lucky snuggled deeper into the down pillow. Sleeping in her car, she’d forgotten that pillows that felt like puffy clouds actually existed. Will was giving her a chance at a life that wasn’t solitary. True, she wouldn’t ever be the girls’ mother, but she was here now, and by God, if they wanted her in their lives, she’d be there in whatever way they would allow.

The girls needed her…. Not really, but they sort of liked having her around. And now she had a party to plan. A circus-themed costume party with a bit of Halloween here and there. A Halloween party on Halloween was expected, and Lucky made sure her parties were never run-of-the-mill. Since
she
had only coughed up one measly egg a year, and her kids strangely all had the same birthday, it was the only way Lucky could incorporate all the age groups in one cohesive party. Tomorrow, she’d find trapeze artists, dancing elephants, a ringmaster, and someone who didn’t mind being shot out of a cannon. Did Ringling Brothers do house calls?

Will and the girls were going to be so surprised.

Will … sweet Will. His arms around her had made her feel safe, and his lemony-sandalwoody scent had activated some primal part of her brain that wanted him to beat on his chest, club a dinosaur, and drag her back to the cave.

What would he look like in an animal-skin loincloth? She licked her lips and then realized that she’d licked her lips and rolled her eyes. Will was her brother-in-law. He was reliable, hardworking, trustworthy … and kinda hot. All that loyal boy-scout-ness rolled up into a lanky, chocolate-eyed, tailored-suit-wearing ball of yumminess.

Now she was awake … and turned on.

But he’d turned his head when she’d kissed him.

Had it been disinterest or bad timing?

Maybe she’d march on over there and find out. She sat up and threw back the covers.

Was he interested or not? She’d just strut on over to his room, plant one directly on his mouth, and find out, but Will liked subtlety. And she had a problem with small gestures. She was a firm believer in
go big or go home
.

For the sake of argument, let’s say she and Will did start something. What would be the end game? Marriage? After her first experience with that institution, she wasn’t sure she wanted a repeat performance. Was there any long-term potential with Will?

She shrugged. Will’s middle name should have been long-term potential instead of Arturo. He was definitely the most steady, loyal husband material that she’d ever met. Then again, her husband radar wasn’t exactly spot-on.

So what if they dated and maybe a little more? They would enjoy each other for a while and then part as friends. It happened every day. People everywhere had affairs, ended affairs, and went on with their lives. It was perfectly normal…. No, it wasn’t. And who were these people?

She’d never met anyone who’d broken up and stayed friends. That was for sitcoms and romance novels. In real life, people slept together and either entered a long-term relationship or parted ways, or sometimes married and then parted ways, but they never hugged it out and became BFFs. That was insane.

And what about the girls? Mandy was practically an adult, but the other two wouldn’t understand why Uncle Will and … Wow … now hated each other.

It was a risk, no doubt about that, but was it worth it?

She chewed on her left thumbnail.

Yes.

What if … just what if it worked out? Would they be a family? Would theirs be a happily ever after? The weight of Dawnie’s tiny arms around her neck flooded her eyes with warm tears. Damn, she’d cried more in the last week than she had in the last three years. She wanted that feeling of belonging and having people need her and unconditional love that had always been just out of her reach. She was so close now. The family she’d always wanted was almost hers.

The tears came harder. She could see it so clearly.

Loud family dinners where everyone talked about their day and homework or something they’d read or seen. She’d make school lunches, bandage skinned knees, argue over bedtimes and boyfriends and bad life choices, and they’d celebrate birthdays and graduations and good grades. It was mundane and miraculous. All she’d ever wanted … family.