Summer Of My Secret Angel (34 page)

I helped my mother into the sleeves, pulled
the quilt over her legs, and cleaned the blood from her face with a
wet cloth.

She gaped up at me and reached out one shaky
hand.

Too exhausted to stifle the sigh in my
throat, I sat on the edge of the bed. Her hand felt cold, sweaty.
This was our first touch in over twelve years. Nothing was left of
the soft, warm fingers she used to run through my hair when I was
little.

Her mouth opened, but she couldn’t bring up
the strength to speak.

“Don’t worry,” I hushed her. “Everything
will be fine. In a little while.” As soon as Julian came back. I
cast a longing glance at the empty doorway.

The squeeze she gave my hand wouldn’t have
been hard enough to crush an ant. A single tear ran down her cheek
as she made a weak attempt to smile.

“Try to get some sleep now,” I said. “I’ll
clean up and be back in a bit.”

Glad to have a reason to get out of the
room, I left her to rest, struggling to keep my own tears at bay. I
couldn’t allow them to spill over in front of her.

Emptying the bucket into the toilet made my
stomach roll. I sucked in a breath through my mouth then held it
until I was out of the room. With an old broom from the closet, I
started sweeping the kitchen floor. It felt good to have something
to do at this moment. The only other option was to walk back into
my mother’s room. But my mind was spiraling, and it needed to calm
first.

With all the memories that had come back in
a rush earlier, and with the panic I had felt, I found I could open
the door to forgiveness. Even if it was only cracked open. Now that
I didn’t have to see her sorrowful eyes, I wasn’t so sure if I
fully wanted to walk through it.

It wasn’t like she could undo the past
twelve years in which she’d completely kept out of my life. In
which there hadn’t passed a single day that I hadn’t brooded over
why she’d abandoned me.

But this was probably my last chance to find
an answer to those nagging questions. If I closed the door now, she
might die before she could ever tell me. And before I could tell
her how much I had missed her in those lonely years.

I realized I’d stopped sweeping and was
instead gazing at the blank wall. Heaving a long sigh, I pinched
the bridge of my nose. I knew I needed to talk to her eventually,
and it might as well be today. But first I needed to finish
cleaning up the mess.

In the cupboard under the sink, I found a
dustpan for the shards. I knelt on the floor and was wiping the
broken glass onto the dustpan when the gauze around my hand snagged
on the broom. Since there was no pain in the injured hand, I tugged
one end loose and began un-wrapping the bandage. First slowly, and
then faster as I noticed no sign of a burn underneath.

The gauze landed in a heap on the counter. I
examined my hand, turned it in the light, and stroked it with my
good fingers.
Amazing
. Julian said I had poured boiling
water over it only yesterday. But my skin was completely intact. No
blisters, no soreness. It was like nothing had happened to my hand
at all.

Think.

The story he had told me last night seemed
totally unfamiliar. So there was the off chance that none of it
had, in fact, happened. But then again, everyone had been worried
and bombarded me with questions when we had come home. My family
had definitely seen me burn my hand before Julian took off to the
hospital with me.

Once again it all came down to Julian.
Something must have happened that he had refused to reveal. Oh boy,
would he ever make sense to me? And when the hell was he going to
come inside, goddammit? He should have checked on my mother over an
hour ago. If he had performed his spooky alien healing on her, she
would probably not have collapsed. A weird chagrin budded inside
me, and I braced myself to give him a mouthful the minute he walked
through the door.

Vigorously twisting the bandage into a tight
bundle, I tossed it into the bin underneath the sink together with
the shards of glass bottles. If Julian wouldn’t tell me his secret,
it might be time to ask someone else. I leaned the broom against
the credenza and strode back to my mother’s room.

But she was sound asleep. Her chest lifted
and sank in a steady rhythm. I stopped three feet into the room,
weighing my options. Leave and wait outside, or sit by her bedside
and watch her sleep. After all, she might get sick again and need
my help.

I tried to make no sound as I crossed to her
bed and settled on the mattress. She heaved a sigh but didn’t wake
up.

Hard to say how long I sat there, watching
as she slept. But with a soft melody on my lips—the song she used
to lull me to sleep with ages ago and which Julian had played for
me on the piano—my head dipped forward, and I drifted off to sleep,
too.

The feeling of someone’s eyes on me woke me
a little later. But my mother’s eyes were still peacefully closed.
Pain shot through my cramped neck as I raised my head to scan the
silent room.

Julian stood in the doorway, thumbs hooked
through the belt loops of his jeans. The way his shoulder and head
rested against the frame made me believe he’d been watching for a
while.

Should I be grateful that he was finally
here or angry that he hadn’t shown up sooner? I tilted my head back
to the wall, deliberating, and eyed him through drowsy slits. My
bottom lip stuck between my teeth, a sigh rolled off my chest.

The longing in his eyes was transparent. It
made me wish he’d come closer, so I could wrap my arms around him
and bury my face against his chest.

“Why didn’t you come to check on her this
morning? What have you been doing for so long?”

“Giving you time.” His soft voice floated in
the room.

As my mother stirred slightly, I turned to
gaze at her. She probably felt his presence, too. Who wouldn’t? It
was as if his aura penetrated me in waves with each breath I took.
He might have been doing the same to her. Maybe she was afraid of
him after their conversation last night. After all, she’d said her
time was up.

“Is she going to die?” I asked him.

“Not today.”

So life and death really were in his
hands
.
I took a shaky breath, steeling my nerves for the
unbelievable. It was time to get a few answers. But I couldn’t find
the courage or the right words to begin.

After a long pause, Julian straightened. He
nudged his chin at my hands. “You removed the bandages.”

I inspected my hand from all sides then
dropped it to my lap. “Yeah. Seems like it’s healed. That wouldn’t
have anything to do with you, would it?”

The weak smile he gave me made my heart
flutter. He held out his hand to me. “Come on. Let’s take a
walk.”

So the alien was ready to talk at last. As
silently as possible, I rose and moved toward Julian. Warmth surged
through me as he closed his hand around mine. But before we left, I
cast a concerned look over my shoulder. “Will she wake up while
we’re gone?”

“Don’t worry. She’ll be sleeping until I
call her back.”

Ah, right. Master of minds.

The calm serenity he emitted enveloped me
completely. And suddenly, I had the feeling of being a small child
holding on to the hand of an older and much wiser being than I
could grasp. A person who could decide between life and death,
sleep and awake. Who could heal wounds, inflict happiness with a
single touch, and for all I knew, might even be able to fly.

If it wasn’t for the immense amount of
kindness rolling off him in waves, I would have been scared as
hell. But right now, I looked at him with adoring eyes.

Julian led me outside and past the field. On
the way he waved at Marie and let her know we were taking a little
stroll but would be back in time for dinner.

Behind the vineyards, we crossed a line of
trees into a wooded area. In the shade of all the firs and spruces,
a chill slid down my arms, reminding me that I was about to leave
civilization behind and head to a place unknown with an alien by my
side.

Julian surveyed me from the corner of his
eye. “Are you cold?”

“Just a little.”

Heat ignited where our palms touched. The
unusual warmth slowly soared up my arm. With each pound of my
heart, it spread further through my body.

“How do you do that?” To my own amazement,
my whisper didn’t reflect fear, only fascination. It also occurred
to me that he might be doing some alien hocus pocus to keep me at
ease.

Julian didn’t reply. But when we left the
broad strip of woods and stepped into a wide meadow, his grip
tightened. “Jona, can I ask you something?”

Shuffling through the ankle-high grass, I
nodded, hoping to get my questions answered afterward as well.

“When you overheard your mother and me
talking last night, and of course with the list you already started
a few days ago, what have you concluded I am?”

Wariness settled in my sideways glance and
tone. “Will you have to kill me if I’m right? Because if so, I’d
rather not say.”

He rolled his eyes. “Of course not, silly.”
Lifting the hand that held mine, he wrapped his arm around my
shoulders and pulled me closer as we strolled.

“Okay,” I drawled. “I think you’re an alien.
Like Superman from Krypton. Just with different powers, you
know.”

He frowned at me. “That’s your best
guess?”

“I’m wrong?”

“Totally!”

A little ashamed of my assumption, I thought
of the only other theory I had about him. “Apparently you can
resurrect the dead. So, are you into voodoo?”

“No.” Now he seemed almost offended, but not
in an angry way. “I thought you’d figured me out already.”

I frowned, my lips tight. Any normal person
would have been freaked out by all this. At that point, I was
pretty damn sure he was weaving his magic around me to keep me
calm, or else I wouldn’t have been able to have this conversation.
“Then stop playing games and just tell me where you’re from.”

He pulled me to a halt in the middle of the
meadow. Apart from the woods behind us and an occasional tree every
few hundred feet, nothing but grass and flowers spread as far as
the eye could see.

With my hand still in his, I gaped into the
face of this devilishly good-looking man. His eyes a bright blue,
he seemed to smile, even when his lips remained straight. And
suddenly it dawned on me. His defined features, the way he
performed magic, his boss my mother made a deal with, it all
pointed to—

“Oh. My. God,” I breathed. “You’re working
for the devil.” It definitely was the most absurd thing that ever
came out of my mouth. But it seemed to be the only logical
explanation.

Julian’s mouth dropped open then closed. He
continued to study me with a new interest. “Would you be scared if
the answer was yes?”

I’d never before crossed myself, but at this
moment I came terribly close. Only I thought that might offend him.
So I stood rigid, staring at him with eyes so wide it hurt.

However, the answer to his counter question
was a definite, “No.”

I’d seen him do too much good to think he
could be a bad entity, no matter who he was working for. Nothing
could take away my feelings for this man, not even the depths of
hell.

The left corner of Julian’s mouth lifted.
“In fact, I’m working for the other side.”

“The other side of what?”
Of hell?
I
frowned. “That would be Heaven… But, no.” I laughed at myself for
going the wrong way again. “You’re certainly not an angel.”

A spark in his eyes came with his grin.

My fingers slid from his. “Shit. You’re
serious.”

1. AND THEN HE STOPPED TIME
   

A WARM WIND ruffled the leaves of the
nearest lilac and sent their rich, exotic smell down to us. A
platoon of fluffy clouds marched like sheep across the sky. They
created a lulling interplay of sun and shadow on my face. Sprawled
out on the long grass, I enjoyed Julian playfully teasing my jaw
with the petals of a daisy. His head was supported by his hand as
he lay next to me.

“You’re taking it quite well.”

If he was referring to me being silent since
he told me he was an angel, he was right. I knew I should be
totally freaked out, but I wasn’t. “Are you keeping me calm with
your angelic powers?”

“Would you mind if I did?”

I sniffed when he tickled my nose with the
flower. “As long as you don’t tamper with my mind so I can’t make
my own decisions, I think I’m fine.”

“No tampering,” he said solemnly. “It
happens on an emotional base only. All I do is expand my aura a
little and include you in my circle of—” He broke off, narrowing
his eyes. A second later, he smirked. “Of heavenly coolness.”

It made me laugh. But I could definitely
live with that.

I sat up, crossed my legs, and braced myself
on my hands behind my back, gazing at the sky. The drifting clouds
were beginning to clear, leaving nothing but blue above. Hard to
imagine how an institution like Heaven fit there.

My eyes leveled with his. “What does it look
like? Heaven. Is it a city in the clouds? A palace where more
angels like you hang out?”

Julian rolled onto his back and propped on
his elbows. “The human mind can’t grasp the true image of Heaven.
No offence, but you simply lack the imagination and language to
describe it.”

His words didn’t offend me, yet I yearned
for a visual. Disappointed, I lowered my gaze.

He sat up and cupped my chin with his gentle
fingers. “Heaven is not one particular place, or town, or house. It
would be best described as—” His lips pursed. “It’s a feeling. Deep
inside you, as well as all around you. Something absolutely
peaceful. And harmonious. Like the love of an innocent child.”