Nothing could compare to those six months he was laid up in
that godforsaken hospital. He spent most of his time there flat on his back
with his leg in traction, living through vivid flashbacks of crashing over and
over again, all while trying not to let the knowledge that he’d survived and
Derek hadn’t drive him out of his ever-loving mind.
“Jesus,” Evan said again. “I can’t even imagine. No wonder
Riley worries so much. That’s just—”
“The whole thing was careless and stupid, I know. I was a
very different person back then, though. Like I said, I honestly didn’t care
whether I bought the farm or not. The main thing I took away from it all, the
one thing that actually stuck with me—and it’s something I won’t ever
forget—was learning how short life truly is. Still, it ended up taking a few
more years before it sank in that I didn’t have to go around acting like some
crazed stuntman-wannabe to bring a little excitement into my life. I finally
discovered that kind of shit’s better left to the professionals, anyway. Let
them be the ones who get all torn up. I’m done with it.”
“Hell, makes the few stunts I tried on my Monster when I
first got her sound like a day at Disneyland in comparison.”
Garrett smiled and chuckled. “Just don’t make me go on
It’s
a Small World
. I think I’d rather re-live the torture of physical therapy
ten times over than have to sit through that ride even once.”
Evan laughed, too, then took another sip from his water
bottle. “It’s no wonder she’s less than thrilled about this fishing trip,
then.”
“She’ll be fine. It’s not as if we’re forcing her to jump
out of an airplane or coating her in peanut butter and leaving her out for the
bears. All we have to do is counterbalance her fear if we end up catching a
shark with something a little more to her liking while we sit around and wait
for it to happen. That shouldn’t be too difficult.”
“No, it shouldn’t be,” Evan said as he stared off to where
Riley now stood at the edge of the waves. “I’m sure I could come up with a few
things to keep her occupied.”
“You and me both,” Garrett added. “Speaking of which…” He
slid Evan a scheming grin before shoving out of his chair and taking off at a
dead run toward his wife. She saw him coming at the last second, which was too
late for her to do anything but shriek as he lifted her into his arms and spun her
in circles in the lapping waves. She looped her arms around his neck and held
on, tossing her head back and laughing that deep and throaty laugh he loved so
much as Evan waded in and joined them in the water. They played in the sun and
surf as if they were teenagers, with him and Evan taking turns throwing her
into the deeper green current and her trying to get even by jumping on their
backs in vain attempts to take them down and dunk them.
Garrett pushed all thought of the crash out of his mind and
concentrated on this, on the here and now, and on the time he’d been blessed to
spend with the one woman he’d do anything for and this reticent man who was
becoming quite an intrigue in his own rights.
It wasn’t as if dwelling ever did a damn bit of good anyway.
The past was written in blood and stone, a lesson to be learned, yes, but one
never to be altered. The day he met Riley he stopped trying to change all those
chaotic years that had come before, stopped trying to make them better or to
make them simply go away. They were a part of him, they made him who he was now
and weighed heavily in forming the man he’d be in the future, but they were
nothing more than a road map of where he’d been, not a premonition of where he
was going. And with Riley, the places he could end up were limitless—and the
amount of pleasure he could have while getting there wasn’t something he was
even remotely willing to miss out on.
* * * * *
There wasn’t anything better after an amazing day on the
beach than sipping an ice-cold beverage while a hearty meal waited in the wings
to be grilled up. Evan had taken over the culinary duties as Garrett and Riley
sat on the opposite side of the kitchen’s counter bar, and he had everything
nearly ready for them to spend a quiet night in each other’s company. He filled
the stainless steel martini shaker he’d searched the entire kitchen for to the
brim with ice, set it with a clunk on the countertop and slipped a mischievous
look to Riley.
“Trust me?”
Her smile nearly floored him, as did her immediate answer.
“Implicitly.”
“Good. After this afternoon, I guarantee you’re going to
love this. Your boss,” he said to Garrett, “has a very well-stocked liquor
cabinet.”
She peered over the counter’s raised top ledge. “What are
you making?”
“Let’s see if you can figure it out,” he replied. “One part
vodka, a little bit of cranberry juice, a splash of lime and one part of this,”
he said, measuring out a bright pink liqueur in a jigger before pouring it over
the ice. As he put the lid on and started to shake, she read from the label on
the bottle.
“Oh, this is perfect. Look,” she said, showing Garrett.
“It’s called
Kinky Liqueur
.”
Garrett stole a raw zucchini ribbon from the tray waiting to
be carried out to the grill. “Very appropriate.”
“And this is what makes the drink so special,” Evan went on
as he opened the bag of cotton candy, tore off a big chunk and tossed it into
her martini glass. The strained pink concoction followed, melting the candy
into the drink on contact.
She laughed as he handed the drink over and she sipped
slowly, as if she wanted to savor the treat he’d made especially for her.
“Whoa, that’s tasty. Sweet and so summery.”
“I’m calling it Riley’s Remedy. From now on, every time I
get behind a bar, I’ll be thinking of that cotton candy. And remembering back
on how you put such a sexy, kinky spin on something so ordinary.”
“You’ve named a drink after me? Oh my god. I love it. It’s
so perfect! Thank you.”
His pride swelled a little bit more. “You’re welcome.” After
he poured himself a club soda, he one-handed the tray loaded down with veggies
and three beautiful filets. The grill was already set to go, but as he made his
way outside he couldn’t help but get a little sidetracked by the striking
oranges and pinks filling up the warm evening sky.
Riley sighed from the open doorway behind him. “There’s
nothing more gorgeous than a beach sunset.”
“Sure there is,” Garrett said, kissing her shoulder as he
moved past her to sit at the table next to the grill.
“Oh?”
“Yeah. You are.”
She snorted out a laugh, but Evan could tell that Garrett
meant what he said.
“The older you get, the more schmaltzy you get.”
“Hey, I just call ’em as I see ’em.”
She took the seat next to him, setting her martini glass on
the table while putting her feet up in Garrett’s lap. He didn’t hesitate to
start rubbing the meaty part under her toes and she sighed again. Evan loved
their banter, their playfulness. It was something he was definitely going to
miss when he went home to Texas. That, along with so many other things…
“What were you two talking about today? Out on the beach?
You both looked so serious,” she asked.
Evan shifted his concentration away from the grill to glance
over his shoulder. Garrett held her foot in one hand while he massaged further
up her calf with the other. He looked utterly relaxed, as if her question
didn’t bother him in the least.
“I told him about the crash,” Garrett answered.
“You did?”
“Yeah, we were talking about all the stupid shit I used to
do and how that ranked right up there at the top. And how once I met you, all
that screwing around and taking crazy chances just didn’t appeal to me
anymore.”
“Thank God. You never did any of that kind of drastic stuff,
did you, Evan?”
He placed the steaks side-by-side on the grill and tossed
the veggies onto the slotted pan next to it. “Nothing as off the charts as
that, no.”
“I hear a ‘but’ in there somewhere.”
He closed the lid on the grill, sat across from Garrett and
twirled the ice in his glass. “But I used to do a little dirt biking. I pulled
off a few stunts that, when I look back on those days now, well, none of it was
probably very smart. I think my reasons for doing them, though, were very
different.”
“What? You weren’t trying to see how far you could push your
life before you ended up not having one anymore?” Garrett asked, smirking.
“No, nothing like that. My life wasn’t quite as…”
“Messed up,” Garrett filled in.
“Okay, messed up as yours was. Actually, my family was the
polar opposite of yours. My dad worked his ass off my entire life and was beyond
strict while I was growing up. Still, there were a lot of things I did that he
didn’t approve of—like the dirt biking. Christ, he hated that. By that point,
though, I was completely hooked on the rush all that unconventional stuff gave
me. I truly loved the surge I got from trying something that hardly anyone else
was doing. It became this all-consuming need, so I started looking for that
same kind of charge in other areas of my life too.”
Riley reached for her martini. “Areas like?”
“It all goes back to the dirt biking, I suppose. I actually
competed in college for a while until it got too expensive. When I was heavy
into it, though, I had a few local fans. Female ones. Some of them had
boyfriends. And, well… The threesome idea has always given me a different kind
of jolt.”
“So we’re more of an adrenaline rush for you?”
There wasn’t any resentment to her words, it was more as if
she truly wanted to get a feel for where he was coming from.
“At one time it might’ve been like that. But it’s not now.
Now it’s more…” He shrugged. “It’s what I need. This,” he said with another
twirl of his glass, “just feels perfectly natural to me. I’m not sure I could
ever go back to a conventional type of relationship. Honestly, I’m not sure I’d
want to.”
“But you’re not looking for one now. A relationship, I
mean.”
Again, there wasn’t any sort of anger in her words. She
seemed more sad now than anything else, and that sadness pierced straight
through to his gut. Even so, he’d been up front with both of them from the
get-go. There didn’t seem to be a point in trying to sugarcoat anything now.
“If you’d asked me that even three months ago, my answer
probably would’ve been different. But now? Things are laid out so differently
for me. Things I can’t change. I’ve made commitments, Riley. People are
counting on me to hold up my end of the bargain. I can’t just walk away from
that.”
“I know,” she said. “And I wouldn’t want you to. I just… I
don’t know. I’m not the adrenaline freak you guys are, but this is exciting for
me. It’s a chance I took, a chance we all took, and I’d be lying if I said that
I’m ready to see it end.”
God, he didn’t know what to say to that. “I’m not out to
hurt either one of you.”
“You’re not, Evan,” she said.
The look Garrett threw him and the one Evan shot back said
they both knew that was a lie.
She laughed softly then. “Seriously, though. Who would’ve
ever thought I’d even say something like that? Up until I met Garrett, I wasn’t
sure a relationship—with anyone—was something I really wanted.”
“Why was that?” Evan asked as he got up to check on the
steaks.
She concentrated on the pink sweetness in her glass for a
moment before she answered. “It sounds so cliché to blame your parents for any
of the wrong turns your life might take, but this is one case where that
happens to be at least semi-true. My mother searched for some mystical kind of
love with every man she ever met. She spent her entire adult life hunting for
that one perfect person, working it right up until the day she died. What’s sad
is that I truly don’t think she ever found what she was looking for. What’s
sadder? I grew up thinking love was just a word you said whenever you wanted
something. It never really meant anything in our house because she always used
it so frivolously. She loved Uncle Tim. Uncle Bob. Uncle Mark. I could go on
and on.”
There was one name blatantly missing from that list. “Did
she ever love you?”
Riley practically scrunched down, as though a black rain
cloud had popped up directly over her head. Garrett’s hands stilled on her feet.
Fuck, Evan wasn’t trying to be a dick. But he wanted to
know. Jesus, he wanted to understand.
“I know she did, in her own way. But she never really came
out and said it to me. I wasn’t the one with the cash or the cars or the fancy
high-rise apartments. Me and my sister were just her kids. Little people who
always ended up getting in her way.”
His heart snapped like a twig. In two, and just like that.
“Ah hell. I’m sorry—”
She shook her head. “Oh God, no. Don’t be. It’s because of
the way she was that I’m able to tell the real from the phony now. Garrett
loves me. Unconditionally. That’s the one true thing I know. The
only
true thing I know.”
And damn if Evan wasn’t well on his way to joining him—only
to end up a thousand miles away and a heartache apart.
Shit.
“You’re lucky, then,” he said.
She wiggled her toes in Garrett’s grip. “I’m beyond lucky.”
“Do I hear a ‘but’ in there?” he asked, mimicking her.
Her expression turned sheepish. “But is it bad that I want
more?”
“More of?”
Her reply was instant. “More love. More laughing. More of
Garrett. More of you. Just more of everything.”
Evan flipped the steaks and stirred the grill pan, answering
even though he held his back to her. “Not in my book. I say keep going for it
until you can’t anymore.”
“My motto exactly,” Garrett said.
When Evan turned around, the sorrow in her eyes made him
feel as though he stood about an inch tall.
“You say that, but in the breath right before it you tell me
you have to leave.”