Authors: Bernard Schaffer
14.
“Those state police boys were madder than hornets, weren’t they?”
Frank chuckled and said, “I thought they were gonna try and lock us up for breaking and entering.”
Cole
shrugged and said, “Wouldn’t be the first time. Probably won’t be the last, neither. Hey, there’s something I want to ask you. You see how it is out here. The kind of help I got. If you don’t mind me saying so, you don’t seem real happy with the situation back home, with your Chief and all.”
“That’s one way to put it.”
“How would you like to come work for me?”
“Is there enough room for another person in that trailer?”
Cole winced and said, “I know, I know, it’s not much. You all probably got much better stuff back home. But these are good people and I’m getting a little long in the tooth. I could use a hand, is what I’m saying.”
Frank looked out the truck’s windows at the tall trees and quiet, country road. “My wife
hates
the woods, Chief. She’s a city girl.”
“It’s a good place to raise a family.
Shoot, the way my wife loves little ones, you wouldn’t ever need a babysitter.”
Frank nodded. “Honestly, and I mean this, there is nothing I’d rather do right now. But I’m not the one who needs to be convinced. Can I think it over and see what my wife says?”
“Of course,” Cole said. “It’s a big decision.”
“What’s the starting salary?”
“Twenty-four thousand a year. But with your experience and all, I can probably get you up to twenty-five.”
“Oh.”
“What’s your salary back home?”
“Seventy-two thousand.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. I’m sure with cost of living and all, it evens out.”
“I guess,” Cole said. “And out here, you’d never have to buy eggs.”
***
Chief Erinnyes looked out of his living room’s bay window and frowned. Iolaus was late.
“Don’t forget to pick up your prescriptions today, Claude. And call your doctor. You need another follow up appointment with the heart specialist.”
Erinnyes
shouted “Okay,” up the steps.
“Did you check your blood sugar this morning?”
“Yes.”
“How was it?”
“Fine.”
“Bring me home some broccoli from the store. I’ll make it for dinner.”
“I’m not coming home for dinner. I’ve got the Chief’s banquet tonight.”
His wife came to the top of the steps, “I don’t think you should go. There’s going to be all kinds of food and liquor there. With your medicine, it isn’t a good idea.”
“I’ll be fine,” Erinnyes said. He saw the police SUV pull into his driveway and spun on his feet, fixing his hat to the top of his head. “I’ve got to go. Have a nice day,” he called out as he shut the door behind him. He stood in front of the door, waiting for Iolaus to stop and get out. It wasn’t Iolaus.
Reynaldo stopped the car too far down the driveway and sat there, waiting. Erinnyes sighed and walked toward the car. He opened the passenger side door and saw it was filled with equipment. “You want to ride in the front, sir?” Reynaldo said.
“Get this shit out of my way,” Erinnyes said.
Reynaldo grabbed his bags of gear and hurried around the back of the car to toss them into the rear hatch. Erinnyes pulled himself up into the seat and sat down, rocking the vehicle back and forth. Reynaldo jumped into his seat and turned to face the Chief with a quick salute, “Good morning, sir. I’m sorry I’m late. I had trouble finding the house.”
“Where’s Iolaus?”
“He went home sick.”
“Typical,” Erinnyes sniffed. “Did the supervisors get their mail last night?”
“Yes, sir. I dropped all of the envelopes off before I came to get you.”
“Good.”
“Can I ask you a question, sir? W
ill we ever have a K-9 unit?”
Erinnyes cocked an eyebrow at him, “Why in the world would I want one?”
Reynaldo shrugged, “I think they would be useful.”
“Hold that thought.” Erinnyes pulled his phone off of his belt and dialed, expecting another automated message, but this time it actually rang.
“Hey, Chief,” Frank said.
“It is about time you answered the phone.”
“I didn’t have any phone service up north. Looks like I’m finally getting closer to civilization.”
“The State Police contacted me and told me our suspect is dead.”
“That’s correct.”
“What time will you be back in the area?”
Frank looked at his GPS, “It says by ten. I’ve been driving since six.”
“Good. I want your report on my desk by noon.”
“Uh…I need to stop home first. I haven’t seen or talked to my wife or kids in two days. I’ll come in later on.”
“I wasn’t asking, Frank. You will report to work immediately and you will have the report done by noon. Am I clear?”
“Not really. The bad guy’s dead. Case closed. I found bloody clothing in the trash cans that the State is having analyzed to match the victims. This isn’t some sort of mystery, Claude. It’s open and fucking shut, and I’m gonna go see my kids.”
The phone line went dead.
Erinnyes turned to Reynaldo and said, “Dogs cost a lot of money, you know.”
“I will write as many parking tickets as you could possibly need, sir.”
Erinnyes nodded and said, “You might be on to something. There’s other things a smart, aggressive young man can do to help himself in this police department, Reynaldo. I want you to pick me up tomorrow at seven am. Sharp. With the front seat clear.
We’ll talk more about it then.”
A smile stretched across
Reynaldo’s face and the Chief said, “By the way, do you have a cellphone?”
***
Dawn stood at one of the bank teller’s stations, waiting on a customer. Frank stood by the door, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a heavy plastic bag. She glanced at him and held up her finger, then finished counting the rest of the customer’s money. Frank watched her close down her drawer and stepped outside, looking up into the clear, bright sky.
The door opened behind him, and Dawn said, “Hey, stranger.”
He turned and she grabbed him by the shoulders, planting a kiss on him. “I am sorry,” she said. “It was all over the news and all anybody’s been talking about in here for days. It must have been terrible. And I’m sorry I thought you were cheating on me.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “That girl
is
a stripper. I lied to you about that, and I’m sorry. But I wasn’t cheating.”
Dawn folded her arms across her chest and said, “Anything else?”
“No. I really was in Potter County looking for the bad guy.”
“Was he dead when you found him
?”
“Ye
ah,” Frank sighed.
“You say it like it’s a bad thing, though.”
Frank shrugged, “I was looking forward to meeting him, I guess.”
Dawn nodded, “Well, maybe it’s for the best then. What’s in the bag?”
“The Chief I stayed with up there wouldn’t let me leave without all this. It’s from his garden. And a few of their neighbor’s gardens. You hungry?”
“I just ate Taco Bell. That was nice of him, though. I can’t imagine Fat Fuck doing that.”
“No,” Frank laughed. “He ordered me to come straight to work to do the damn report. I told him I had to come see you guys though.”
“Are you going to get in trouble?” Dawn said.
“Who cares? I haven’t seen my little girls in two days. The goddamn report can wait.”
“He just demoted you, Frank. What’s he going to do next if you keep pissing him off?”
“You know what?” Frank said. “I’m tired of living like this. I’m tired of taking orders from these people. I want to make a change.”
“Like what? You want to come work at the bank? You can make eleven dollars an hour to start. We can pay half our mortgage and feed one child on that. The other one we can donate to science or something.”
“Not funny,” Frank said. “The Chief up there offered me a job, you know. We could get away from all this. Be around decent people.” He lifted the bag and shook it, “We could eat a lot of vegetables, Dawn! A lot of freaking good organically grown vegetables.”
Dawn laughed gently and said, “This is who we are, Frank. This is where we live and work
and where the girls go to school. Maybe instead of trying to run away, you should try and figure out a way to make it better here.”
“There’s only one thing that could make this place better,” Frank said. He handed her the bag of vegetables and said, “I’m going to be home late tonight.”
***
Aprille Macariah leaned close to the mirror and checked her makeup.
Her long earrings sparkled in the bedroom light. She sprayed perfume on her neck and dabbed it on her wrists, checking her profile in the mirror from each side. “Not bad,” she said.
The doorbell rang. Aprille looked at her watch in surprise and headed for the door. “You’re half an hour early!” she said as she pulled the door open.
Dez Dolos held up a bottle of red wine and showed her the label, “Cotes du Rhone, Reserve Chartreuse de Bonpas, bottled in 2007. A peace offering.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to check up on you after that homicide. I heard you went to the autopsies and figured you could use a friend.”
“We aren’t friends, Dez. You made that perfectly clear before.”
“I fucked up. You have no idea how sorry I am for that. All I came to do is talk it out with you over a few glasses of wine. If that means we get a little closure, then so be it. You’ll never hear from me again.”
“I have plans,” she said.
“Okay,” he sighed. “I’m going away in a few days, so it might be a while before you hear from me again.” He held out the wine and said, “You can keep this.”
Aprille took the wine and looked at him. Neither of them moved. Finally she sighed and said, “Hang on. Come in and sit down but don’t say anything.”
Dez shut the door behind him and sat on the couch. He listened to Aprille dial a number from the kitchen and say, “Marcus? I just got called in to work. I’m so sorry. Some sort of emergency. I know. I know. Can I make it up to you? Okay. Listen, I will call you back when I get settled in.”
Aprille hung up the phone and came back. She kicked off her shoes and sat down on the couch, ignoring Dez’s sly smile. “You wanted to talk,” she said. “This better be good.”
“I love you. I always have. Always will. I should have been man enough to own up to it before. Even if you don’t take me back, it won’t change anything.”
Aprille nodded and said, “And?”
“And I’m sorry for everything I put you through.”
“And?”
Dez laughed and said, “Man, you’re tough. Can I at least have some of this wine?”
“Glasses are in the kitchen,” Aprille said. She looked over her shoulder as he walked past and said, “Get two.”
15.
“You’ve been sipping that same glass of beer all night, Claude. It’s an open bar.”
Erinnyes waved his hand and said, “Bullshit. This is my fifth glass
, Wally.”
“
You’re a lying bastard! All that liquor is already paid for, so do your part in drinking it.”
Claude leaned across the table, shouting over the music, “How’s Wally Jr. making out?”
“He got picked up by the Sheriff’s Office. I figure it’s a good start for him. Let him get some experience.”
“Make sure he comes back and sees me when we test again.”
“Why, so you can pass him up for another landscaper?”
“Nah, I reached my quota last time,” Erinnyes laughed.
“Sounds good, Claude.”
Erinnyes picked up his knife and fork, cutting a tiny piece of roast beef off at a time. He put each piece into his mouth when he finished cutting it, making sure he chewed it seven times before swallowing. He took drinks of water in between bites.
There was music playing. A DJ with his own lighting system making old white men get on the dance floor and embarrass themselves. Erinnyes took so long to eat that everyone else left his table and was either at the bar or wandering from table to table, shaking hands with one another, telling funny stories about the idiots they worked with.
Some of the Chiefs had brought their wives. Erinnyes could hear some of the women in the corner cackling and carrying on, their voices rising above even the annoying thump of the DJ’s speakers.
He tried cutting another sliver of beef, but it came apart under his knife, turning into a stringy mess. “Screw this,” he said. He cut the thing in half and stuffed it into his face, chewing and chewing, finally satisfied.
Frank walked into the banquet room and looked around,
staring into the sea of white shirts and dress uniforms. There were District Judges and Assistant District Attorneys there. Township Solicitors and insurance agency representatives. Frank shivered at the sight. It was like walking into the gaping, rupturing intestinal cesspool of bureaucracy.
He saw Erinnyes sitting by himself in the far corner. A white whale.
Frank rolled through the crowded dance floor toward Erinnyes, watching the jelly rolls of his chins flop up and down as he ate. The Chief looked up at him and grunted and shook his head. “I tell you be somewhere today and you don’t come. Now you show up where you’re not invited.”
Frank sat down next to him, putting his hands on the table. They were shaking, so he clasped them together and held them tight. “I came to have a word with you.”
“Oh really? You came here? I don’t think so. Report to my office at oh-nine-hundred hours tomorrow. You’re going to be suspended without pay for ignoring a direct order.”
“No, I’m not,” Frank said.
“You can grieve it through the FOP, but you’re still getting suspended.”
“I quit.”
Erinnyes stopped chewing instantly. “What did you say?”
“I said that I quit. I’m done. I am leaving the police department.”
“Sure you are. With your two young girls and a wife who’s an assistant bank manager? Listen, just go home and sleep it off. In time, you’ll stop being pissed off about the suspension and be glad you didn’t make a terrible mistake.”
“I’m not pissed off,” Frank said. “I understand. You have a job to do, and a department to run. You needed me to do something, and I didn’t do it. If you want me to wait to quit until after the suspension
’s over with, I’ll do it. That way, it’s still on the books.”
“Are you really fucking serious about this?”
“I am. I’m finished,” Frank said.
“What are you going to do for work?”
“I’m thinking about selling my house and moving up north. I like the quiet. Dawn wants to get a little farm and raise piglets or something. I’m going to work the land, Chief. Be my own man. Make moonshine.”
Erinnyes stared at him, “I really don’t know what to say, Frank. I know we’ve had our differences, but I wasn’t expecting this. You’re one of my top guys.”
“That’s why I came to tell you in person, boss. Out of respect. I’d like to ask you one favor before I go, though.”
“What?”
“Let me buy you a drink.”
They walked toward the bar together, Erinnyes in his crisp white uniform shirt, decorated with gold buttons that caught and reflected the lights from the DJ booth. Frank
in a shirt and tie, dressed nice enough to be mistaken for a busboy. They leaned against the bar and Frank held out a twenty toward the bartender and said, “Two shots of Jack, please!”
Erinnyes held up his hand and said, “Actually, I’m not supposed to—”
Frank passed the twenty toward the barmaid and slid the Chief’s shot in front of him. “Here you go, boss. To police work!”
They clinked their glasses together and both of them downed their shots. Erinnyes grimaced and wiped his mouth as Frank called out, “Hurt us again, honey!”
“I have to get back, Frank,” Erinnyes said.
Frank looked injured. “It’s my farewell drink with you. It’s the least you can do.”
“Okay, but last one. This thing ends in half an hour and I have to drive home.”
Frank held his shot glass up and said, “Live long and prosper, boss.”
They clinked their glasses together and Frank downed the booze in one swallow, while Erinnyes turned away and slowly sipped his. Frank snapped his fingers at the bartender and when she came over, he leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “This is my dad. He just got divorced. Can you make the next one a double and get him to drink it? I need him to forget his troubles.” He put an extra twenty in her hand and thanked her.
Erinnyes finished his drink and turned toward Frank with his hand outstretched, “It’s been my pleasure, Frank.”
“Mine too, Chief.”
The bartender set two large shot glasses in front of them and started to pour. “Here you go boys, on the house!”
“No,” Erinnyes said, waving his hands. “Absolutely not.”
The bartender pouted and said, “But they’re already poured, sir.”
“I don’t care! Take them away.”
She looked around nervously, “I can’t take them away, and I can’t give them to anyone else now. I’m going to get in big trouble.”
“She was just trying to be nice, Chief.”
“I
refuse.”
Frank snapped his fingers and said, “You know what we didn’t do? We didn’t drink for that poor mother and daughter. They deserve to be remembered.” Frank looked down and shook his head, “It was something else in there, I tell ya. I keep seeing it. Every time I close my eyes.” Frank put his arm around the Chief’s bulky, sweaty shoulder and said, “This is the last thing I’m ever going to do as a police officer, Chief. I’m going to remember the dead.” He picked up both shot glasses, so full that the liquor spilled over the rim onto his fingers. “For Mary and Kayla. For Joe Hector. For Vic.”
Claude Erinnyes took the tall shot glass and said, “May they rest in peace.”
Both the men drank. Frank shook the Chief’s hand and said, “Goodnight.”
He left the banquet hall and ran down the stairs for his car, yanking his tie off and tossing it into the backseat. He ripped off his dress shirt and pulled on a ratty old t-shirt and baseball hat, then bent over the side of the bushes, and jammed his finger down his throat until he vomited.
***
A half hour later the doors opened and people began to filter out of the banquet hall. Chief Erinnyes wobbled a little on the steps, taking his time as he headed down into the parking lot. He rummaged in his pocket for the keys, staggering slightly as he went to fit them into the car door.
Frank sat up and turned on his department issued smartphone, activating the video camera feature and setting it for optimal nighttime capture. He focused on Erinnyes’ face as
he opened the car door and got in. Frank had to keep himself from giggling as the brake lights came on and the car began to move.
He followed the vehicle out of the parking lot and onto the main road, holding the camera in one hand and steering with the other. Erinnyes’s car swerved over the double-yellow lines once, then corrected back to the far right lane, nearly hitting the curb.
“Got you, you son of a bitch,” Frank whispered. He pulled out his other cellphone and dialed 911.
“911, what is your emergency?”
“I’m following a drunk. He’s swerving all over the place. Please get a police officer out here before this guy kills someone.”
“What is your location, sir?”
Frank gave them the name of the street, the cross street, and their direction of travel. He gave them the Chief’s car’s make, model, color, and tag number. “Please get someone out here right away.”
“What is your name and callback number, sir?”
Frank hung up the phone and set it next to him. “Come on,” he said. They were only five miles away from Erinnyes’ house. Frank looked around for a police car, cursing and smacking the dashboard.
They drove through an intersection and Frank saw the front bumper of a Stygian Falls police cruiser inch up, the officer inside peering in their direction. Frank flashed his headlights several times and stopped his car, letting the cop pull out in front of him.
Frank held his breath as the officer got behind Erinnyes. The officer activated his overhead lights and Frank screamed, “Yes!”
He pulled his car off to the side of the road and got out, keeping his phone pointed at the traffic stop ahead. Claude
Erinnyes was quick to point at the badge on his chest and bellow, “What the hell are you stopping me for?”
Frank
yanked the baseball hat over his face and ran up waving his hand, shouting, “Do your job, sir! Do your job! I’m video recording this whole thing. Just do your job!”
The cop looked up at Frank in dismay and Erinnyes spun around in his seat, seeing
through Frank’s disguise and shrieking, “You mother fucker! You cocksucking faggot mother fucker!”
Erinnyes tried to force himself out of the car, but the uniformed cop held him in. The Chief’s voice was high-pitched and broken, on the verge of hysterical babbling as he cursed Frank. “I’ll fucking kill you, you piece of shit!”
“Careful, Claude,” Frank said. “You don’t want to threaten me on film, now. Do you?”
“Sir, you need to settle down and wait in your car until I instruct you otherwise.”
Erinnyes began to sob. Frank moved closer with the camera and said, “What’s the matter, Claude? Is the whole world crashing down on you? How’s it feel, you fat fuck? How’s it fucking feel!”
The officer jammed his finger in Frank’s chest and said, “You, back up now.”
“I am on public property,” Frank said.
“And if you interfere with my police activity again, I’ll arrest you.”
Frank backed up, keeping the camera on the officer as he went around the back of his car for the portable breathalyzer test. “Uh oh,” Frank said. “What’s that, Claude? Looks like it’s a PBT coming your way. Get ready to watch your whole life vanish before your very eyes, buddy.”
The officer opened the door and said, “Sir, will you please step out of the vehicle.”
Erinnyes slumped out of the car, defeated, knowing he was finished. The officer instructed him to blow into the tube until it beeped, and Claude wrapped his thin, fishy lips around the tube and started to blow.
The machine beeped.
The officer looked at the number and frowned. “One more time, sir,” he said.
Erinnyes blew again until the machine beeped.
The officer shrugged and knocked the plastic tube onto the ground. “You can go,” he said. “You’re only a point seven.”
Erinnyes looked at him in disbelief. “I’m not under arrest?”
“You’re just under the limit, Chief. Drive home safe.”
Frank lowered the phone and stared open-jawed at the officer as he walked back to his car. The cop smirked at Frank and said, “Nice try, buddy
. Guess you’ll have to get some other poor sucker to be on YouTube.”
Erinnyes looked at Frank
as the cop drove off and it was like watching an enormous balloon fill up with red dye. His ears turned red. The vein standing out of his forehead turned red. He started to shake. “Return to Headquarters immediately to surrender your badge,” he sputtered. “You are terminated.”
***
Reynaldo listened to the phone ring until his mother finally picked up. “Hello, mama. How are you?”
“Papi! So good of you to call me. How are you?”
“Doing very well. I miss you.”
“I miss you too! How is your job?”
“Excellent. I am doing very well here.”
“Tell me all about it.”
“I wrote the most tickets last week. The Chief was very happy with that. I think I even set a record for most parking tickets handed out in a single day. The more money I make the Township, the quicker I can get a dog.”