Surfacing (Spark Saga) (24 page)

             
“My father studied your brain and—”

             
I can hear my heart throbbing in my ears and my headache is coming back.  “Hey, I’ll see you later,” I say, opening the car door.

             
“There’s something extraordinary you should know about your brain.”

             
“Look, Zach,” I reply, shutting the door.  I lean down to the rolled-down window.  “I don’t know what this is about, but it’s sort of freaking me out, so I’m out.”

             
“Look, Tess…please.  I’m not making this up.  Do you believe that we only use ten percent of our brains?”

             
Seriously?  This guy is either way too smart for his own good, or he’s just plain nuts.  How the heck did he and Dani get together? 
“Thanks for the tip.  Catch you later.” 
Crazy train.

              I’m debating whether to mention this to Dani, Alex, or Cricket.  I mean, Dani would probably be upset that he wanted to talk to me.  Alex would be mad I’d gotten in the car.  And Cricket would just be fascinated with it, as usual.

             
I am still really stumped as to why Zach is trying to talk to me in the first place.  He mentioned that there was “something extraordinary” about my brain and that his father had studied it.  I guess it makes sense, that my dad asked a scientist to help him, when he felt I was in a hopeless situation.  I will just have to ask him about it.

             
This is my objective, as soon as my dad gets home.

             
“Hey dad?”  He is sitting in his recliner, leafing through the newspaper.

             
“What sweetie?”

             
“I have a question.”

             
“Ok, shoot.”

             
“Zach Webb told me that you and mom used to be friends with his parents.”

             
“Yeah, a long time ago…. Why?”  His voice wavers.

             
“He told me that he saved me from getting struck by lightning when we were kids.”

             
“Oh really?  I seem to remember once when we were playing cards…there was a storm.  My memory is kind of fuzzy though.”

             
“He also told me that you asked his dad to help you when I was in the coma.”

             
My dad is very quiet for a few moments.  Then, he sniffles and starts wringing his hands.  “What do you mean?”

             
“He said his dad studied my brain.  Is it true?”

             
“Yes,” my dad replies, almost immediately.  “It’s true.  Edwin was an amazing scientist and I was desperate for answers…. I …. Wanted you back so badly.”

             
Despite the fact that I feel like a science project, it makes me feel good to know that someone cared so much.  “So, what did he study, exactly?”

             
“I’m not sure.  At first, he was giving me reports every week or so…and then, eventually, he stopped.  After a while, we didn’t talk much about it.  I do remember him telling me that you were an exceptional case…”

             
“Exceptional case… what does that mean?”

             
“I don’t know.  He went off the deep end, and then, he died and it was all over.  You woke up a couple years later, and it was all forgotten.” 

             
All forgotten…well isn’t that ironic.
“But aren’t you curious?  What he found?”

             
“I was.  But it doesn’t matter now.  All that matters is, you’re back.”

             
“I think Zach knows something that he’s not telling me.  It’s weird.  It’s like he keeps wanting to tell me, but he never does.”

             
“Well, he was Edwin’s son…and, he was there the day of the accident.  What do you think he knows?”

             
“He tried to talk to me Homecoming night…and again, today after school.”

             
My dad raises an eyebrow and smiles.  “Well, maybe he likes you.  Seems reasonable.  I mean, you
are
exceptional.”

             
“Dad!  I hope not.  Dani would kill me.”

             
“Somehow, I doubt that.”

             
“Anyway, he’s kind of weird.”

             
“How so?”

             
“He’s all into science and stuff.  He actually told me today that we only use ten percent of our brains.”

             
“Well, that’s actually true…at least, I think it is.”

             
“Anyway, I’m dating Alex.”

             
“Your mother told me.  He’s a nice boy.  Is it serious?”

             
Well, that’s an uncomfortable question.  “Not really.  We’ve been friends a long time.  We get along good.  And he likes me.”

             
“Good,” he replies.  “I’m happy for you.  Now, don’t worry so much about the past.  That’s why they call it the past.  It’s ‘passed.’”

             
“But what about my memory?”

             
“What about it?”

             
“I mean, I can’t remember certain things.,,”

             
“Yes, but you remember the important things.  Most of us can’t remember everything.  That’s perfectly normal.”

             
“Ok.”  I’m itching to ask…what
is
normal, but I’m sort of tired and my head hurts.  “Thanks.”

             
“You’re welcome, sweetie.  I love you.”

             
“I love you too, Dad.”  And just because I’m still feeling warm and fuzzy, I give him a big hug.

Zach

Well, that was a big disappointment.  Now Tess thinks I’m crazy.  Perhaps my attempt to approach the subject with her is an example of trying to manipulate the natural course of events.  I feel like grumbling to my father about this, but seriously, I need to just figure it out.  Tess might think I’m crazy, but I’m still her friend, and there is hope yet.  I just need to find the right words.

              I’m thinking the written word will serve me best at this point.  So, I load up my email on my phone, start to write her a letter, but I can’t get past the first line:

             
Dear Tess,

             
Please don’t think I’m crazy.

             
Wow.  Brilliant display of words.  I need motivation.  Validation.  I must know, for certain—beyond just what my father has told me—that Tess and I are meant to be.  There is only one way to do that, as I see it. 

             
The simulator.

             
It has been stored under my bed for months.  I started thinking about explaining it to Tess, back in some other time…and I thought it might be good to have it handy, just in case.  Ok, so I just basically plug in, go to sleep, and let my dreams do the rest.  Only, they’re not dreams.  Technically, they’re my future.

             
I stare at my phone screen for a few more minutes, then look up, just in time to see Dani and John walking out of the side door of the school, near the gym.  Dani looks casually over her shoulder, as if to see if anyone is watching, then puts her arms around his waist and gives him a kiss on the lips.  John responds by kissing her back, multiple times, grinning and rubbing her back in between.

             
Without thinking, I send Dani a text right then and there:

             
-
I see you

             
Within a few seconds, I see her pat her pocket and draw out her phone.  She glances at it, then grimaces slightly, says something to John, and looks around.

             
And that, as they say, is the beginning of the end.

             
The next morning, I wake up with one of the wires wrapped around my arm and a singular thought in my mind. 

             
The dream was real.

             
One night, Tess and I will be in her apartment.  We will be standing by the light of a refrigerator, and I will pull out a ring box from my pocket.  I will feel an overpowering surge of pure love and adoration unlike any I’ve ever known…her smile says it all.  She doesn’t even have to say yes.  We both hear it in our hearts, already.

              It is everything I can do not to call up Tess right now and pour out my heart.  But that, of course, would be foolish.  I remember what my father said about trying to do too much to change to course of events.  On the other hand, doing nothing seems equally as foolish. 
Or maybe just temporarily painful. 
Which can only mean one thing:  I may very well have to accept the fact that Tess and Alex are in a relationship—for now.  I may have to stand by, watch, and wait. 

             
Ah, this is the conundrum of humanity.  To weigh the seeming futility of immediate existence against the possibility of long-term reward.  It’s sort of like someone delivering a big spoiler right in the middle of the show.  Do you go ahead and finish watching it, or find something else to do?

             
It occurs to me that my impatience with time could be somewhat relieved by the possibility of taking this to the next level.  I could allow myself the ability to time travel, periodically, just to keep me motivated.  The simulator is one thing…but to
actually experience
it is another.  I long to see, hear, feel and touch the great love of my life.  If I can somehow get her alone, and the conditions are right…. Would it be possible to sync her chip with mine somehow?  A delicious—and dangerous—thought, given that it would go against everything my father requested.

What could it hurt? 

On the other hand, if I am to believe everything my messenger told me, we are destined to be together no matter what.  Syncing the chips would be tempting fate, however, the temptation to do so is overwhelming, as I want true love now, as opposed to waiting for it.  To destroy the chips would mean possibly years of uncertainty, followed ultimately with the happy ending I know to be true and real.  To sync the chips—thus repopulating Tess’s memory completely—could prove very risky.  I don’t need the CIA following me around.

On cue, the following message shows up:

TO:
                            Zach

FROM:
              Your father

RE:
                            Fate

Let me remind you that tempting fate is not wise.  However, I understand this need to press forward, to claim what you desire for the immediate gratification as opposed to waiting for things to progress naturally.  Is love an absolute truth, or something you create, with what you have, in the circumstance you are in?  You are old enough to make your own decisions, as well live with the consequences.  Destroy the chips.  Live your life. 

            
 
If this is my father, he has my best interest at heart.  If it is my own self, the same is true.  But if this has anything to do with the government, I should not trust a word.

            
 
I know what you are thinking.  This whole tempting fate thing could backfire.  I suppose this all hinges on whether or not I buy the likelihood that I have been communicating with my father or myself, from the future.  It’s a preposterous idea.  The whole idea of leaving one’s physical body behind, even for a millisecond, is preposterous.  I believe the mind is capable of accessing the time continuum, and even altering it…but I don’t believe this has anything to do with the body, beyond the brain itself. 

Who was it that said
….. I think, therefore, I am…
?

I must rely on my own mind, my intellect…. That is the only way that makes sense.  I must impress upon Tess the enormity of the connection we have, a connection that was written
on the surface of time long ago…perhaps the moment we met.  Everything is significant, even the smallest contact, a passing glance or word…. Can mean eternity.

The trick is convincing someone else these things are true.

At 7:00 p.m., I am sitting on the edge of my bed, my body still damp and warm from my recent shower.  My hair feels cool on my head, as I have not dried it, but simply combed it to the side as I normally do.  I pick up
The Time Machine
from my nightstand and open it to a random passage, as has become my habit.

Even in our own time certain tendencies and desires, one necessary to survival, are a constant source of failure.  Physical courage and the love of battle, for instance, are no great help—may even be hindrances—to a civilized man.

I hold these words suspended like fog in my mind—with their seeming mass, yet elusive satisfaction.  I have tried to grasp the concepts of truth and belief—how the latter can actually hold us back from the truth.  But when the truth is right there, for the taking, it would seem a travesty of justice not to take it.  I have no desire to battle circumstance for what is already mine.  To do so might prove my destruction.

Therefore, I have made my decision. 

I will return to Tess and stop her from erasing it to begin with.