Surprises According to Humphrey (9 page)

T
he Tugwells were looking for me. They just weren’t looking hard enough.

I could hear them in the distance, calling my name and arguing among themselves.

“How could you take your eye off him?”

“I’ve looked everywhere!”

“Have you checked those bushes?”

“Of course!”

“We have to find him before dark!”

“Maybe we need some help.”

“Help find Ham!”

I tried to move my ball, but it wouldn’t budge. I was stuck.

It was quiet for a while, which made me a little nervous, but I tried to stay very still and rest. I tried not to think about water…or Sweetums.

I woke up when I heard big footsteps clomping through the grass.

Voices called out, “Humphrey! Hum-phrey!”

And one voice was so loud it was unmistakable, saying, “Humphrey, tell us where you are!”

It had to be A.J.

“I’m HERE-HERE-HERE!” I squeaked as loudly as a hamster can.

I guess no one heard me because the voices kept calling.

“Humphrey! Humphrey! Humphrey!”

“HERE-HERE-HERE!”

For some reason, we weren’t making any progress.

It was quiet again, and then I heard more footsteps, thudding through the grass.

“Look over there,” a small voice whispered.

“I’m here!” I squeaked.

“How about those bushes?” a second voice asked.

“OVER HERE!” I yelled.

Then I heard it. “MEEOW!”

I made the mistake of looking up.

Sweetums was poised on top of the fence, staring down at me. Din-din was over. It was time for dessert.

“UNDER THE BUSH!” I yelled at the top of my tiny lungs.

I heard more footsteps coming closer.

“Down there,” said a voice. “Ham?”

That, I knew, was Andy.

“I’ll crawl under there,” said the other voice.

It seemed like a long time before I saw someone looking right at me. It wasn’t Sweetums this time, thank goodness. It was DeeLee, A.J.’s little sister.

“Here’s a ball. Aw, it’s Humphrey. Come here,
honey.” DeeLee reached in and grabbed the ball. She was a little rough, but I didn’t mind.

“Hi, Humphrey.” She had a big smile on her face. So did I.

“Hi, Ham,” said Andy. I didn’t mind being called a ham. I just didn’t want to be called “dessert.”

“Meow!” called Sweetums, obviously jealous of the attention I was getting.

“Hi, pretty kitty,” DeeLee answered.

I cringed at her cat-friendly tone, but I forgave the girl, because she’d saved me.

Carrying the ball (and me), DeeLee raced up into the yard. “We found him! We found him!” she squealed.

Soon, all of Garth’s family and all of A.J.’s family gathered around.

“Way to go!” said A.J., hugging his sister.

“Let’s get him to his cage,” said Garth’s mom. “He needs food and water.”

Boy, she sure got
that
right.

As we all hurried toward the house, I thought about Sweetums and how disappointed she must have been.

Too bad, I thought. I only hoped that Og was as lucky as I was when the aliens came to take him away.

I drank and drank and drank. I know my friends drink juice and soda, but nothing in the whole wide world tastes better than water. Trust me on that.

Mrs. Tugwell served the Thomases lemonade and
cookies, and they all laughed and shared stories about me, Garth and A.J.

“When you called and asked if A.J. could help look for Humphrey, I said, ‘We’re all going,’” Mr. Thomas said. “We had to help out our little buddy.”

“
I
found him!” DeeLee bragged.

And I was GLAD-GLAD-GLAD she had.

While the families talked, Garth and A.J. stayed unusually quiet.

“Why don’t you take A.J. to your room?” Garth’s mom asked.

“Okay.” Garth didn’t sound very enthusiastic. “Can we take Humphrey along?”

“Yes,” said Garth’s mom. “But be gentle with him. He’s been through a lot today.”

This was a very smart woman.

Once we were in Garth’s room, the boys got quiet again.

“It wasn’t my idea to call you,” Garth finally said. “My dad made me.”

“I’m glad he did. My sister found Humphrey, didn’t she?” A.J. replied.

“Along with my brother,” Garth snapped back.

They were quiet again. Under ordinary circumstances, I would have spun on my wheel to entertain them, but I was far too weak.

“What’s that?” A.J. asked after a while.

“My guitar,” answered Garth.

“Can you play it?”

“Sure.” Garth took the guitar out of its case, fooled around with the strings, then began to play “Down in the Valley.”

“You really can play,” said A.J.

“I told you I could.” Garth’s voice had an edge to it. He started playing another song.

“I wish I could play.” A.J. sounded wistful. “Can I try it?”

Garth thrust the guitar at A.J. “Okay.”

A.J. tried to play, but it sounded AWFUL-AWFUL-AWFUL! We hamsters have sensitive ears, and mine were hurting from the terrible sounds that came out of the guitar.

He stopped abruptly, thank goodness, and handed the guitar back to Garth.

“Here,” he said. “I’m no good.”

“Nobody’s good in the beginning,” said Garth. “I’ve been practicing for months.” He started strumming again, and it sounded good.

“Honey, we’re going home.” A.J.’s mom poked her head in the door. “Garth’s parents said you can stay if you’d like.”

“Okay,” said A.J.

“Okay with you, Garth?” asked Mrs. Thomas.

“Sure,” Garth answered, but he didn’t sound as if he meant it.

After A.J.’s mom left, Garth and A.J. were quiet for a while, which wasn’t normal for them. They stared at
my cage, and finally Garth said, “Maybe Humphrey’s ready for another spin.”

My stomach did a somersault at the thought of meeting up with Sweetums again, but this time, Garth put me in the ball and let me roll around his bedroom floor. I was pretty tired of rolling, but I was also worried about coming face-to-face with another cat or a dog or some other dangerous creature. It was time for me to take charge of my hamster ball!

Garth strummed the guitar, but I hardly noticed. I already knew how to make wide turns, but now I wanted to try sharp turns. I spun my body to the right as fast as my legs would go, but the ball wobbled rather than moving very far.

A.J. laughed. “Look at Humphrey Dumpty.”

Garth laughed, too. “He looks a little seasick.”

Once the ball stopped wobbling, I decided to try again. I remembered seeing some boys on skateboards one time. They could leap up in the air and land, reversing the direction of their boards. I took a deep breath and leaped up, turning my body at the same time. The only thing that happened was I hit my head on the ball and did a double somersault, which is a pretty good trick, but not what I was aiming for.

Meanwhile, I heard A.J. ask Garth if he could teach him to play the guitar.

“I’ll try,” said Garth. He didn’t sound too convinced.

As the boys sat side by side on the bed, Garth
showed A.J. where to put his fingers and how to strum the strings.

It still sounded terrible, horrible and VERY-VERY-VERY bad!

“I’m hopeless,” said A.J.

“You could be good.” Garth sounded a little friendlier. “Try it again.”

I
was already trying again. This time I didn’t hit my head, and I kept my balance as I leaped to the right. And what do you know? The ball made a faster turn to the right. It was still circular, but I felt more in control.

A.J.’s guitar playing was way
out
of control.

“I give up.” A.J. handed the guitar back to Garth.

Garth picked out a few notes. “It sounded terrible when I tried in the beginning, too. You just need practice.”

Suddenly, A.J. jumped up and pointed right at me. “Hey, look at Humphrey! That’s so cool!”

What I was doing was pretty cool, if I do say so myself. First, I made a tight left-hand circle. Then I leaped to the right and did a tight right-hand circle.

Garth and A.J. got down on their knees and watched me. “That’s amazing!” A.J. exclaimed. “How’d he figure that out?”

“I think he was practicing,” Garth said. “Now he could be in the hamster ball Olympics!”

“You know what? You could throw the ball better if you practiced,” said A.J. “Don’t you ever play catch with your dad?”

“Dad said he’s not very good at playing ball,” Garth told him.

“Oh,” said A.J. Then after a while he added, “Maybe I could practice with you. You could help me with the guitar and I could help you with softball.”

“You really think I could get better?” Garth asked.

“Sure,” said A.J. “Look at how good Humphrey is at ball!”

And I was very good, indeed. Sweetums would have a hard time keeping up with me now.

Garth’s dad popped his head in the doorway. “We’re ordering pizza for dinner. You like pepperoni?” he asked A.J.

“Sure!”

“If you want to spend the night, your mom said she’d drop your clothes off,” Mr. Tugwell added.

“Okay with you, Garth?” A.J. asked.

“Okay!”

I was glad to hear that Garth answered without a bit of hesitation.

Garth took me out of the hamster ball and put me back in my cage. While the family ate pizza, I took a long nap, and I dreamed about beautiful guitar music instead of space aliens or cats.

The next afternoon, A.J. talked Garth into coming outside. “We’ll just toss the ball around,” he said.

“I won’t be good,” Garth warned him.

“Maybe not, but you’ll get better than you are now,” A.J. said. “Just like the guitar. Or the hamster ball.”

I was happy they left me in the house. Although I had a new technique, I wasn’t anxious to come nose to nose with Sweetums again. She might still be looking for dessert.

Even though I was inside, I could still hear Garth and A.J. laughing and shouting in the yard.

“Nice catch,” A.J. said once. “Way to go!”

I spun on my wheel with pure joy. Even without a Plan, I’d managed to help my friends.
That
was the best trick I’d learned all day.