Surrender (4 page)

“The notion of spending time with a woman had nothing to do with it, Netherland,” he said finally. “Because no matter what those other women may want, you are the only woman that I want.” Instinctively he pulled her closer to him. “You are the only woman who matters.”

Netherland wanted to tell him that although she’d wanted to hear those words, she shouldn’t be the only one who mattered because there would never be a future for them as long as he was in the military. But she couldn’t force herself to say the words. The only thing she could do was to continue to look into the darkness of his eyes and see how the lighting from a nearby lamp shone on his features making them more profound, more handsome. As he continued to look at her she felt that same jolt of awareness she had felt the first time she had met him, nearly three years ago, and the same jolt she felt upon seeing him every time since then. Around her he generated heat, electricity, desire.

Without a word she tilted her head up when she saw his mouth move closer to claim her lips. She knew she should stop it now because once they had crossed over the line, there would be no going back. She had waited almost three years for this kiss.

He took her breath away the moment his mouth came down on hers, and the jolt of awareness ex
ploded through all parts of her body. When he parted her lips with the tip of his tongue she was ready and opened completely for him.

Netherland felt him cup the back of her head to bring their mouths closer, tighter, to mate in hungry passion. As if they had a mind of their own, her hands reached up, wrapped her arms around his neck as she moaned gently to the feelings he was evoking within her. She felt herself being picked up, lifted and placed in his lap as he continued to kiss her, absorb her mouth with his, as her heart continued to beat out of control.

She couldn’t help but recall the many nights since first meeting him that she had yearned for this moment to find out what his taste was like, to share such an intimate experience with him. His mouth was pleasuring her beyond anything she had known. He was demanding stirring and explosive sensations from within her. He was unfolding a need she hadn’t known existed, and his kiss was beckoning her to taste, to feel and to feast on everything about the man who so gently held her in his arms as he gave her the experience women only dreamed about.

Netherland’s hands tightened around his neck, urging the intoxicating intimacy to continue forever. She took his tongue into her mouth, savored it, exulted in it and connected with it. No man had ever kissed her this way before, and she knew that no man would ever kiss her this way again. Ashton Sinclair had his own brand of style and was meticulously stamping it all over her mouth with kiss after kiss after kiss.

The kiss eventually came to an end when the need to breathe overrode everything else. Ashton released a ragged breath and touched his forehead to hers. “Netherland, do you want to know something?” he asked, barely able to catch his breath.

She inhaled deeply, trying to catch a breath of her own, almost failing in the process. “What?”

“You don’t ever have to agree to go out with me as long as you let me stay in with you doing this.” He then kissed her again, more thorough and hotter than before.

There was no telling how long they would have continued to kiss if the knock on the door had not interrupted them. Netherland drew in a deep breath and released it with a sigh before pulling herself out of Ashton’s arms and lap, making it to the door. Without opening it she answered, “Yes?”

“It’s Rainey, Nettie. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Netherland turned slightly and looked at Ashton. He was sitting on the love seat watching her. The dark sensual look in his eyes was making her consider things she shouldn’t. Already she had gone beyond a point of where she should have with him. He knew it, too. They also knew there was no way to go back to where they had been before tonight. They had done more than acknowledge the attraction between them. In that short space of time, they had tasted the passion, and she had gotten addicted to it. A part of her wished that nothing stood in the way of indulging in the desires he stirred within her.

“Nettie? You’re okay?”

The worried tone of Rainey’s voice drew Netherland’s attention back to her friend. There was no way she could tell Rainey that she was okay when deep in her heart she knew she would never be okay again. Drawing in a deep breath, she unlocked the door and cracked it open slightly. “I’m fine, Rainey.”

Rainey looked at her with those ever-observant eyes. After a brief moment she said, “Yes, Nettie, I see that you are.” She placed a smirky grin on her face, turned around and headed back down the hall.

Netherland closed the door and turned back around to Ashton. He was now standing in the middle of the room. His eyes were simmering with promises of pleasures that went beyond kissing. He was tempting her mindless with the very thought. Tension gripped her entire body as she watched him slowly walk over to her. He must have felt her anxiety and reached out and bracketed her face in the palms of his hands. He probed her eyes for a moment before saying, “We’ll work through whatever is keeping us apart, Netherland,” he said simply, easily.

Netherland shook her head. “There isn’t a middle ground, Ashton. I refuse to become involved with someone who’s in the military.”

His smile was slow, endearing, determined. “You are involved, Netherland. And now that I’ve tasted you, you’re a craving I can’t do without, so don’t ask me to. There
is
a middle ground and we will find it. Together.” He took her back into his arms and placed
a gentle yet possessive kiss on her lips. Once again her body automatically responded to his.

He then brought his lips to her ear and whispered, “Surrender, Netherland. Surrender your fears about us to me, and I promise to make things right for us.”

Netherland wanted to believe it would be that easy but knew he was promising the impossible. “I can’t, Ashton. I’ve got to have stability and that’s something you can’t give me as long as you are in the military.”

Without waiting for his response, she opened the door and walked out of her office.

Later that night after Netherland had gotten into bed, she lay there and remembered the kiss—or should she say kisses?—that she and Ashton had shared in her office. A part of her wanted to regret what they had done, but another part of her continued to rejoice and forbid her to worry about the consequences of her actions.

She tossed around in the bed a few times before finally finding a comfortable spot. As much as she tried not to, her mind reflected to that day almost three years ago when she and Ashton had first met. Maybe if she had known from the first that he was military, her attraction to him would not have been so great, so overpowering, so downright unnatural. But it had been. The first sight of him had been like a magnet, pulling her in, and it was a day she would never forget.

As Netherland watched the blades of the ceiling fan
swirling overhead, cooling off her overheated body, her mind became occupied with memories of that day…

“Nettie?”

Nettie lifted her head from the document she was reading. “Yes?”

“I hate to disturb you but Trevor Grant and Clayton Madaris are here,” Rainey said, smiling. “They brought some other gentlemen with them and would like to introduce you to them.”

Netherland smiled. Trevor and Clayton were two of her biggest clients, and as single men they patronized her establishment at least three to four times a week, claiming the restaurant’s good food was the big draw. She knew their interest in her place also went beyond food. Their frequent visits were designed to check out the single women there, as well. “Do you know who these other men are?”

Rainey smiled dreamily. “One I recognize as Clayton’s brother Dex Madaris. I remember him from the last time he came in and had all the women drooling. The other one I think is Clayton’s other brother. He favors Clayton and is handsome as sin. The other man I believe is a friend of Trevor’s—and he’s a total knockout. His hair is longer than mine. He seems to be part Indian or something. All I know is that the man is to die for, three times over.”

Netherland chuckled as she placed the papers she’d been reading aside. “He’s
that
good-looking?”

“Judge for yourself, Nettie.”

And she did.

While only a few feet away from the table she had to agree with Rainey. The man who sat next to Trevor at the table was to die for. He’d had his head bent, chuckling at something Clayton had said, and suddenly it seemed he had heard her approach and turned his head sharply toward her.

Their eyes met, and there was instant sexual awareness.

Immediately, spontaneously, Netherland’s heart began hammering deep within her chest, and her pulse began racing. Her knees weakened, which made her slow her pace somewhat. The palms of her hands felt damp. She blinked as if the action would will him away. It didn’t. He was still sitting there looking at her as intently as she was looking at him. There was something overpowering and aggressive about him and instead of backing away from it, she found herself drawn closer, so she kept on walking until she had reached their table. All five men stood.

She barely heard Trevor telling the others how wonderful the food served at her restaurant was. She barely recalled the introductions of the other men, Clayton’s two brothers—Justin and Dex. Her mind, body, soul and spirit were on the man who stood next to Trevor. She knew his eyes had not left her since he had seen her from across the room. She breathed in deeply when she presented her hand to him. “Nice meeting you, Ashton.”

She found her hand folded gently in the warmth
of his as he looked deep within her eyes and said softly, “The pleasure, Netherland, is all mine. Please sit down and join us for a minute.”

She knew she shouldn’t. She had a million things to do. A wedding reception was being planned for the next day in one of her banquet rooms. But his request sent her entire body into overdrive, and she found herself sitting in the chair he pulled out for her—next to his.

It was only later, after enjoying herself immensely as she listened to Justin and Dex Madaris try and convince Trevor, Clayton and Ashton about the benefits of marriage that she discovered the explosive attraction between her and Ashton had been a complete waste of good energy. The discovery had come when Trevor jokingly called Ashton “Colonel.”

She had turned to Ashton and saw his eyes were still on her. “Why did Trevor just call you Colonel? Were you once a colonel?”

He smiled at her with the sexiest grin she thought she would ever see on a man. “Yes, ma’am, still am. I’m a colonel in the marines.”

She blinked as she felt a heavy hand clamp itself around her heart. “You’re in the marines
now?
” she asked softly, hoping he would say no and that he had recently retired or something. Instead he met her inquisitive eyes. Something in her tone must have alerted him to the fact that she was asking for a reason—a very important reason—a reason he didn’t quite understand.

“Yes, I’m in the marines now, and I’ll probably stay in the marines until the day I die.”

She shook her head, confused. He didn’t resemble a military man, especially by the head. “But your hair?” she asked, making sure she understood him correctly. “Isn’t it too long?” She had been around enough military men to know the low crew cut was Uncle Sam’s standard.

“No, my hair isn’t too long. Since I’m legally part Indian, the right to wear my hair this length is protected by federal law.”

Netherland nodded. She knew then and there that any thoughts of ever becoming involved with him were over. The last thing she would let happen was to allow a man in her life who didn’t have roots. She had been through that with her father, and had promised herself never to go through it again. She had worked too hard for independence and stability in her life to toss them aside for overactive hormones.

Netherland brought her thoughts back to the present. She had promised herself that day that she would not start anything with Ashton she couldn’t finish.

Yet, tonight in his arms, she had broken that promise.

N
etherland swiveled around in the chair at her desk. “What do you mean he left town?”

Rainey shrugged. “That’s the rumor on the floor tonight. Carolyn Taylor claims she saw Ashton getting on a plane for D.C. yesterday while she was at the airport. She says he was wearing his military uniform and was giving all the women at the airport heart failure because he looked so good.” Rainey looked pointedly at Netherland. “Everyone wants to know when he’s coming back.”

Netherland picked up the papers she’d been reading and tossed them in the tray on her desk. She hated admitting it but she had missed seeing Ashton underfoot for the past two nights. “And how would I know?”

Rainey smiled sweetly. “After Tuesday night, I’d think you’d know everything about him. The two of you stayed in your office close to an hour.”

Netherland frowned. She didn’t need Rainey reminding her of that. “So? That doesn’t make me privy to all his business.”

“Considering you’re the woman he plans to marry, I’d think that—”

“He is not marrying me, Rainey. Regardless of how long we stayed locked in my office, nothing has changed. My position is still the same. We’re not involved.”

“Yeah, if you say so. And I guess there was a pretty good reason why your lips were all swollen the other night. Looked to me like someone had done a job on them. A very delicious job.”

As she scowled furiously at Rainey, a logical voice in Netherland’s head told her to quickly change the subject. So she did. “How’s Jada working out?”

The glimmer of amusement in Rainey’s eyes indicated she’d caught on to Netherland’s ploy and decided to go along with it…for now. “Jada’s working out fine, and pretty much keeps to herself. She seems to be a real nice person who looks more like she’s eighteen than twenty-three. She’s too young to have had so much sadness in her life, and she continues to look sad.”

Netherland nodded, agreeing. Jada Roberts was going out of her way to be a good employee but on several occasions Netherland had noted the sadness in the young woman’s eyes.

At that moment the phone rang, and Netherland picked it up. “Sisters.” She smiled at the voice on the other end. “Yes, Syneda, I do cater occasionally.”

Netherland nodded. “Yes, this is short notice but I think I can handle it. What time did you have in mind?”

Netherland gave another nod. “All right. I can drop the food off on my way home.” She smiled. “That’s fine, don’t mention it. I’ll see you in a little while.”

“Oh, Nettie, you’re a lifesaver,” Syneda exclaimed as she opened the door and took a couple of the boxes from Netherland’s hands. “There’s no way I could have prepared this much food after a late day in court. I don’t know what possessed me to volunteer to be the hostess for tonight’s poker game.”

“Don’t mention it,” Netherland replied, smiling as she followed Syneda, carrying the food Sisters had prepared. “I hope I didn’t bring too much.”

Syneda grinned. “Too much food for a bunch of hungry, gambling men? Is there such a thing?”

Netherland chuckled. “No, I guess not.” When they reached the kitchen she was surprised to find a group of women assembled around the table.

“You know everyone, don’t you, Nettie?” Syneda asked as she took the rest of the boxes out of Netherland’s hands.

“Yes.” Netherland had met all of them at a bridal shower given for Syneda at Sisters last year. There was Trevor’s very pregnant wife, Corinthians; Dex’s wife, Caitlin; Justin’s wife, Lorren; the Madaris
brothers’ two sisters, Kattie and Traci; and the Madaris’s cousin, Felicia. “Hi, everyone.”

“Hi, Nettie,” they said returning the greeting in unison.

“We’re glad you were able to deliver. For a minute we thought Syneda was going to have to cook for us,” Felicia Madaris Maxwell said, grinning. “I have too much to do tomorrow to be out sick.”

“Okay, knock it off,” Syneda said, trying to hide her smile behind a frown. “A good attorney I am, but a good cook I’m not. Clayton didn’t marry me for my cooking skills.”

Felicia chuckled. “Not for one minute did any of us think that’s what he married you for.”

Syneda tried glaring but was unable to keep a straight face when she said, “And stop insinuating that your cousin only married me for my body.”

Netherland smiled. Not for the first time, she envied the six women and their close friendship. They felt comfortable enough to say just about anything to one another. “I’ll be going now,” she said, turning to leave.

Syneda grabbed her arm. “Why don’t you stay and join us, Nettie? You were on your way home, right?”

“Yes, but I don’t want to intrude.”

“You won’t be intruding,” Caitlin Madaris said, grinning. “We were discussing the best way to make sure Corinthians gets to the hospital when she goes into labor without Trevor falling apart.”

“Trevor won’t fall apart,” Traci Madaris Green
was saying. “For Pete’s sake, give him credit for something. He used to be a captain in the marines.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Kattie Madaris Barnes chimed in. “When it comes to their wives having babies, all men fall apart and act downright silly.” She laughed. “Remember when the ever cool, calm and collected Raymond jumped into the car and took off and forgot I was still sitting in the living room? He’d driven an entire block before he noticed.”

Netherland laughed when the story was retold. Then Caitlin shared how Dex had gone off on the doctor when he thought the man wasn’t moving fast enough when her labor pains had begun hitting her fast and furious. The women then began talking about the gory details of giving birth.

“Please change the subject. Nettie might think twice about ever getting pregnant,” Lorren Madaris said, smiling.

Netherland smiled. “No, I’m fine listening to it. Besides, I can’t get pregnant anyway. A childhood illness made that impossible.”

Syneda came up to her. “Oh, Nettie, we’re sorry. We didn’t know and—”

“Trust me, it’s okay. I’ve had a long time to come to terms with it, and I’m comfortable with it. There are too many kids out there who need adopting, so whenever I decide to become a mom, I’ll go that route,” she said, smiling and assuring the women she hadn’t gotten offended.

“Do I smell food?”

The women turned around when Clayton stuck his head around the corner.

Syneda grinned. “That man can sniff the aroma of fried chicken a mile away,” she whispered to the other women. To her husband she gave an exuberant smile. “Yes, sweetheart, it’s food. Are you guys at a stopping point where you can come out for air and for food?”

Clayton smiled. “If they aren’t, I am. I’m starving.”

It didn’t take long for the other men to detect food and start filing into the kitchen. Netherland was talking to Syneda about something when she felt someone watching her. She turned to see Ashton leaning against a counter. Her breath caught in her throat. She hadn’t known he was there. She tried to downplay the feeling of sheer exhilaration when he smiled at her. Again she wondered what there was about him that could make her so attracted to him. It was more than his physical features that attracted her. There was also something else. There was the passion he stirred within her that she couldn’t deny. She still had thoughts of the kisses they shared in her office and that had been more than three days ago.

As if he read her thoughts, Ashton continued to hold her gaze. And then it happened like always. A sharp electrical jolt raced through her, sensitizing her entire body to his gaze, and blocking out all sights and sounds around her. A voice inside her head warned her to put up her defenses, but she wasn’t quick enough. Already Ashton was slowly walking over to her. A part of her wanted to turn around and
run but couldn’t. It was as if her feet were cemented to the floor.

“Seeing you here is a pleasant surprise, Netherland,” Ashton said silkily when he reached her.

Netherland’s lashes lifted. “I’m surprised to see you here, too. I heard you had left town.”

“Yes, for a couple of days. Government business.”

She nodded as she met his dark gaze. Sexual tension surrounded them. She wondered if any of the others in the room could feel it. Could anyone detect the fierce attraction she had for him? “Did you have a nice trip?”

He smiled. “It was okay.”

“Hey, Ashton, aren’t you going to eat?” Trevor called from the other side of the room.

“I’m not really hungry,” was Ashton’s response. He looked back at Netherland. “What about you? Are you going to eat anything?”

“No, in fact I was about to leave. I only stopped by to drop off the food.”

He looked at her. “I think I’ll call it an early night myself since Dex won most of my money anyway,” he said, grinning. “Would you drop me off at my hotel? I rode over with Trevor instead of driving the rental car.”

Netherland lifted a brow. “Hotel? I thought you were staying with Trevor and Corinthians.”

“I was until I got back. I decided to give the parents-to-be space. They need the rest of the time before the baby gets here to be by themselves.” He
smiled. “In a few more weeks there won’t ever be just the two of them again. There will be a third person who will be dominating their lives.” He looked at her for a long, slow minute before asking again, “So, will you give me a lift to my hotel?”

Warning bells went off in Netherland’s head. “I suppose I could.”

The wry resignation in her tone stirred Ashton deeply. “I don’t bite, Netherland.”

Her mind instantly recalled how during their kiss he’d relentlessly nibbled away at her mouth as he plowed it with kiss after kiss. Yes, he did bite. He’d certainly taken more than a bite-size chunk out of her sensibilities that night.

“Netherland?”

“Yes?”

“You still won’t go out with me?”

For several moments an air of sadness hovered over her, as she remembered why she wouldn’t. “No, I still won’t go out with you.”

His gaze was intense, determined. “When we get to the hotel, will you ‘stay in’ with me…for a little while?”

Netherland’s body stirred all the way down to her toes when she remembered what happened the last time they had stayed in. And as much as she wanted to deny it, her body wanted to experience his kisses again.

She focused her attention on his lips. Doing so shortened her breathing. It became difficult to get air past her lungs. It seemed her own lips suddenly felt sensitive. Convincing herself that a few kisses
wouldn’t hurt as long as she didn’t let it go any further, she finally gave herself up to the inevitable. “Yes, I’ll stay in with you for a little while.”

When Ashton curled his fingers around hers she tried to steady her nerves. But nothing could bring calmness to her body that was tense with wanting him.