Surrender (6 page)

Netherland sat back down, Indian-style, and looked up at him. “No, I don’t love you,” she said quietly, wondering how he could assume such a thing. How could he make such a claim as if he were privy to her innermost feelings and emotions? “There are things you don’t even know about me, Ashton. Do you know why my first husband left me?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“To some men it might. The reason he left me was that—”

“It doesn’t matter, Netherland,” he interrupted.
“What matters to me is that you understand my position. We will not make love until you surrender all to me.”

“What you want I’m unable to give, Ashton,” she said softly, as tears glistened in her eyes. Why was he determined to make things difficult? Why couldn’t he take what she was offering and be satisfied with that? “You don’t know how hard it was on me for my father to be gone off somewhere when I had my birthdays, on Christmases, and important events at school. I was named homecoming queen at the beginning of my senior year, and because he was away, he didn’t see me get crowned.”

“Don’t you think he probably wanted to be there, Netherland? Instead he thought he was somewhere doing something equally as important, like protecting and safeguarding your freedom. Not only yours but the freedom of all the kids in your school, their parents and a whole lot of others. Even the person who placed that crown on your head at that coronation.”

Netherland sniffed and wiped a tear from her eye. She hadn’t ever thought of her father’s numerous absences in that light before. “Mrs. Jones.”

Ashton lifted a dark brow. “Mrs. Jones? Who’s Mrs. Jones?”

Netherland shrugged slightly. “She was the home economics teacher who placed the crown on my head.”

Ashton nodded. A slight smile touched his lips. “Very well. Your father was protecting and safeguard
ing Mrs. Jones’s freedom, as well.” He reached out and pulled her into his arms. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

She pulled back. “Bed? But you just said we wouldn’t make love until I believe in the vision.”

“We won’t. We’re going to bed to go to sleep.”

Netherland stared at him. “Can you do that? Sleep with me and not touch me?”

“Oh, I plan to touch you, I just don’t plan to make love to you. I have a strong constitution when it comes to you, Netherland. I haven’t slept with a woman since the day I laid eyes on you.”

Netherland blinked. That was almost three years ago. She couldn’t imagine a man as virile as Ashton going without that long. Her brothers would have thrown up their hands in frustration long ago. Whenever they came home from a long-term deployment, they would quickly pull out their little black books and look up old girlfriends. “Why?”

“Because you’re the only woman I want. Come on, let’s get under the covers and go to sleep.” He pushed the covers back and looked at her, waiting for her decision.

Netherland glanced down at the floor. He’d said the floor represented misunderstanding, mistrust and doubt. That was stuff she didn’t want to deal with at the moment. More than anything she wanted to spend the night in his arms, sharing his bed. But she had no intentions of surrendering to him by committing to what he wanted her to commit to.

She watched as he slipped under the covers, lay back and held out his arms for her. Taking a deep breath, she joined him under the covers and went willingly into his embrace.

Ashton pulled Netherland to him, satisfied. For the time being, he had her just where he wanted her. In his arms, in his bed. Now if he could only get her to accept his place in her life.

There would be more difficult days ahead with her, but he was prepared for them.

N
etherland stood at the window in her office and pulled in one long, shuddering breath as memories of last night assailed her. Even now she couldn’t believe that she had actually slept in Ashton’s bed practically half-naked while he held her in his arms, with her back pressed against the solid, muscular wall of his chest, and his knees tucked behind hers.

She remembered waking to find him sitting at the foot of the bed, Indian-style, with his eyes on her. She’d watched as his gaze had drifted over her features slowly, like a loving caress. Then with measured movements, he had covered the distance between them and, drawing her up close, he had taken her into his arms, kissing her fully awake.

Her body had quickly responded to him as his mouth claimed her and branded her as his. She had wrapped her arms around him, and for brief moments she had claimed him as hers, as well. However, when the kiss had ended, reality for her had set in. When he’d left to go get them something for breakfast, she had dressed quickly and had made her escape. She wondered what he’d thought when he returned and found her gone.

Netherland’s pondering of Ashton’s reaction to her disappearance came to an end when she heard the soft knock on her door. “Come in.”

Her office door opened slowly. “You wanted to see me, Ms. Brooms?”

Netherland smiled. “Yes, come in, Jada, and have a seat.” She watched Jada Roberts’s face carefully. Rainey was right. She looked a lot younger than twenty-three. She could pass for an eighteen-year-old easily. And not for the first time Netherland thought that Jada was indeed a beautiful young woman, although it seemed she went to great lengths to hide that fact. However, even without trying, her natural beauty shone through. Jada didn’t need any type of makeup to enhance her features.

From the information Netherland had gotten from Syneda, she knew that Jada’s mother had died when Jada was fourteen, and she had been raised by her alcoholic father. She had gotten mixed up with Anthony Roberts and had eventually married him. It wasn’t until after she had married him that she had found out what a control freak he was. He’d taken joy
in beating his wife each and every time he thought she’d been messing around on him, threatening the life of her father if she ever left him. After her father had died of a liver disease Jada decided to get out of the two-year abusive marriage.

After Jada had taken the chair in front of her desk, Netherland walked over from the window and took the chair behind her desk, as well. “We haven’t had a chance to really talk since you started working here, and I was wondering how things are working out for you, Jada?”

“Everything’s fine, Ms. Brooms. Everyone here has been really nice to me.”

Netherland nodded. “I’m happy to hear that, and I’d be happier when you feel comfortable enough to call me by my first name. ‘Ms. Brooms’ makes me feel so old, and I’m only about five years older than you.”

Jada smiled. “I’ll try, but it isn’t easy. I think of you as my boss so I automatically feel I should call you by your last name.”

“Well, we’re not all that formal here. Calling me Netherland or Nettie is fine.”

“Which do you prefer?”

Netherland thought about that question. Everyone, including her parents and brothers, called her Nettie. Ashton, however, called her Netherland. And as far as she was concerned, no one could say her name the way he did. When he said it there was always this sensuous sound to it.

“Nettie will do.”

Jada nodded. “I appreciate your giving me those two days off last week to attend the trial.”

“And how did that go?”

Jada inhaled what appeared to be a deep cleansing breath. “It’s over and that’s what matters. I’m no longer married to Anthony Roberts, and he’s no longer free to hurt me, although he did make those threats while they were taking him away.”

Netherland raised her brow. “What threats?”

“He threatened to hurt both me and Mrs. Madaris if he ever got out. He blames me for everything that has gone wrong in his life, and he blames her for our divorce and for him going to jail.”

“How long did he get?”

“Seven years with no chance of parole until he makes at least five.”

“Well, hopefully he’ll have a lot to think about over the next five years and will get out of prison a different person.”

Jada shook her head sagely. “He can do whatever he likes when he gets out as long as he leaves me alone. I hate the day I ever got mixed up with him.”

“Well, that part of your life is over now, Jada. You have an opportunity for any kind of future you want.”

Jada smiled. “Yes, Nettie, I do. I’ve had so many blessings in my life lately, and I thank God every night for them.”

Later that evening Netherland’s heartbeat skittered, increased, then slammed against her rib cage
when Ashton walked into Sisters. He looked around briefly before his gaze locked with hers. She swallowed heavily as she watched him walk over toward her. Memories invaded her brain of how she had seen him last night, and also of how he had seen her, had touched her.

She saw the lack of emotions on his face and would have given anything to know what he was thinking. Had he gotten upset when he’d returned to his hotel room to find her gone? She took a deep breath. It lodged in her throat when she saw the darkness of his eyes and the intensity in them.

She met his gaze directly when he came to a stop in front of her. “Ashton,” she said softly, hesitantly.

“Netherland. Is there someplace we can go and talk? Privately.”

She swallowed. The last thing she thought she could handle right now was being someplace alone with him. “Does it have to be private?”

He shrugged. “Not unless you want everyone here tonight to know our business.”

Netherland definitely didn’t want that. She didn’t have to glance around to know that the two of them were the recipients of curious stares. “Let’s go into my office.”

Once they reached her office and closed the door behind them there was a long pause. “What did you want to talk to me about, Ashton?”

He was quiet for several long moments more before he spoke. “Why did you leave like that this morning, Netherland?”

“Because it was for the best,” she said, although she would be the first to admit to the pang of regret she felt at having done so. At the time she had been confused and had done the only thing she could think of doing, and that was to run.

“Best for whom?” he asked, staring down into her eyes.

“It was best for the both of us, Ashton. I lost my head and played with fire last night. Too many more times doing that, and I’m liable to get burned.”

Ashton gave her a long, thoughtful look. “Do you think I would hurt you?”

“Not intentionally, no. But there is a possibility. You said some things last night that I can’t let go to my head.”

Ashton reached up and smoothed a curl from her face. “Then let them go to your heart instead. I meant what I said, Netherland. I love you.”

“You might think that you do,” she responded quietly.

Ashton smiled tenderly. “I’m not a man who does not know his mind or his heart. I know love when I feel it, Netherland.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

“Have you ever been in love before?”

“No.”

Netherland frowned at how quickly he had answered. “Never?”

“No.”

“But you have been involved in affairs?”

Ashton nodded. “What I did in the past does not concern you, just like what you’ve done doesn’t concern me. What matters is here. Now. Us.”

Feeling distinctively uncomfortable with where the conversation was headed, Netherland drew in a deep breath. “If we’re through talking, I suggest we go back and rejoin the others.”

“Will you come to my hotel room when you leave here tonight and sleep with me again? I enjoyed the feel of your body cuddled against mine.”

The mental picture his words, spoken in a deep, husky voice, evoked was simply too much to think of or to remember. But she did. He had held her tenderly in his arms, and had kissed her passionately during all hours of the night. He had touched her intimately whenever he’d felt good and ready. But that was as far as he had gone. He had stuck to his word and not made love to her, although she’d known that his body had been in a hard state during most of the night.

“I can’t, Ashton.”

He reached out and took her hand in his and placed his hotel-room key in it. “Keep this in case you change your mind.”

She stiffened slightly. “I won’t.”

He looked at her, his eyes delving deep into hers. “I hope you will.”

He leaned forward and placed a kiss on Netherland’s lips before turning and walking out of her office.

For the remainder of the night Netherland tried keeping busy and ignoring Ashton’s presence, which wasn’t an easy thing to do. She even tried pretending nonchalance when she noted some woman had boldly decided to join him at his table. She refused to believe that the emotion that was rearing its ugly head inside of her was jealousy. She had no reason to get jealous of any woman who made a pass at Ashton.

“Don’t worry about Tasha. It’s obvious that Ashton is bored stiff.”

Netherland quirked a brow at Rainey. “I beg your pardon.”

Rainey smiled. “And I beg yours. Don’t pretend you haven’t noticed Tasha McQuire sitting at Ashton’s table or the way she’s trying to come on to him. She’s wasting her time.”

Although Netherland didn’t want to admit it, she hoped the woman was indeed wasting her time. “It doesn’t matter to me.”

“Doesn’t it, Nettie? When are you going to come out of your hard shell and admit that you feel something for Ashton Sinclair?”

Rainey’s question had bugged her most of the night, long after she had closed the restaurant and driven home. She refused to take the highway that led to the place where Ashton was staying. Instead she kept her mind and attention focused on the route that went directly to her house.

Once there she undressed and took a leisurely shower. After getting dressed for bed she took the time to enjoy a cup of herbal tea while reading the latest issue of
People
magazine.

Later when she got into bed, images of Ashton flooded her mind. They were images of how he had looked last night wearing just a loincloth and how he had looked that day wearing a pullover shirt and a pair of jeans. Then there were images of them sitting across from each other in the middle of his bed, Indian-style, in their underwear, while he told her he loved her.

As she adjusted the pillow beneath her head, she couldn’t help but close her eyes and dream of last night and how he had held her close.

Netherland opened her eyes out of a deep sleep. Her bedroom had somehow gotten warm. It didn’t take long for her to realize that it wasn’t the room that had gotten warm but her body. She had awakened from amidst a dream she’d been having of Ashton.

Kicking her bedcovers aside she flipped to her side to find another comfortable position and suddenly, unerringly, became joltingly aware that someone else was in the room with her. She took a deep breath, telling herself that couldn’t be possible. She had an alarm system. Her alarm would have sounded had anyone entered her home uninvited. But she still pulled herself up in the bed, and fighting against the darkness surrounding her, glanced around the room as fear coursed through her.

She then detected movement and moments later a figure moved into the dim lighting that came through the bedroom window from one of the streetlights.

Ashton!

He stood at the foot of her bed, looking at her and wearing nothing but a loincloth. The look in his eyes was dark and sensual. She blinked, wondering how he’d known where she lived and how he had gotten inside past her alarm system, but at the moment not caring about either of those things as he continued to watch her without saying anything.

Netherland’s breath lodged in her throat. Her breathing became irregular, and the heat in the center of her began to flame. He wore a band around his head and his hair, which had been pulled back in a ponytail the last few times she had seen him, was now undone and flowing wildly about his shoulders.

He looked savage. Untamed. Primitive.

Then slowly, he climbed onto the bed with her. When they came close, almost face-to-face, he paused and met her gaze. “I came to you, Netherland.”

She reached out, and his body felt hot to her touch. She made a sound of a moan deep within her throat just moments before he captured her lips with his. Her body melted, any resistance dissolved as their mouths mated and at the same time aroused every part of her body. She didn’t understand why he had come to her tonight but he was here, holding her in his arms and kissing her as if there would be no tomorrow.

And then he began touching her, letting his hands roam all over her body, eliciting a moan from deep within her throat. His hands were working their magic on her, touching her everywhere.

“Ashton!”

“Shhh, it’s okay, baby, I’m right here. Please let me love you this way.”

And she did.