Surrender to Her Spanish Husband (12 page)

‘You are right.’ His expression surprisingly softening, Rodrigo nodded. ‘Just because I have some issues about relationships, it doesn’t mean that I think
you
shouldn’t go for what you want, Jenny. A woman like you was not created to be alone. I know that instinctively.’

Stepping closer, he reached out to circle her waist again. Then, dipping his head, he gently brushed his mouth against hers. More than any of the passionate kisses she had received from him, that tender little kiss made Jenny’s heart ache as if it had been cut in two…all the more because she tasted
goodbye
in it.

‘How could I not wish anything but that all your dreams come true? I’m already envious of the man you’ll eventually marry. When he gets a taste of your love and care he’ll know what an angel he’s fallen in love with.’

‘And you, Rodrigo?’ Tenderly laying her palm against his bronzed sculpted cheek, Jenny felt the pain in her heart constrict her voice to barely above a whisper. ‘You’re absolutely sure that you don’t want my love and care?’

‘I don’t deserve it. And that’s not because I’m feeling sorry for myself. I’m purely being realistic. And at the end of the day I’m too selfish to put someone else’s welfare before myself, as you do. I tried to make our relationship work, but something in my make-up just wouldn’t let me make it the priority it should have been. I’ve hurt you once already, Jenny…don’t let me hurt you again.’

Sensing his stubbornness in clinging to such a damaging conviction, she swallowed hard. ‘I can hardly equate what you’re saying with how you’ve been towards me since you’ve been here. Now that we’ve been able to spend some proper time together without your work getting in the way, I can’t imagine a man more thoughtful and caring…and, yes, unselfish. You could have left at any time, but you didn’t. It’s just not true that you’re too self-obsessed to put someone else before yourself. I’ve seen a different side to you these past few days, Rodrigo…a side that really makes me hopeful.’

‘Well, you should guard against that, because you’ll only end up disappointed again.’

Fielding the huge swell of distress that welled up inside her, Jenny broke free of Rodrigo’s hold. Reaching for her mug of coffee, she carried it across to the table. As she sat down she immediately sensed Cozette brush up against her ankles. Because she was so upset, she didn’t gather the purring cat onto her lap as usual. Instead her glance alighted earnestly on Rodrigo’s handsome yet troubled face, and it struck her hard that there were more shadows etched into those sublime angles and features than happiness.

‘You claim the man I’ve spent the past few days with is too selfish to care for others? We’re talking about the man who postponed an important business meeting to take care of his ex-wife—a man who sat beside her sickbed all night in a hard chair in preference to going to his own comfortable bed—a man who cooked for her and washed her hair. The same man who’s so convinced only his work can bring him the happiness he craves. I think I need enlightening here, Rodrigo, because I’m honestly confused.’

Even before he opened his mouth Rodrigo despised himself for what he was about to say.
Behind his hammering heart a small voice mocked:
You know what you’re about to throw away again don’t you?

‘To start with, I think you’re deluding yourself about what I could potentially be like. This is a unique situation. We were brought together by the storm and by your sudden illness. In normal circumstances I
would
have put the demands of my business first. I’m not going to lie to you about that. I run a multi-million-pound international hotel chain that demands my input to ensure its continued success. I’ve worked extremely hard to get where I am—to enjoy the rewards it brings—and my aim is to continue to work hard. And, secondly, do you think I would have stayed on to take care of you if that old attraction between us hadn’t flared up again? I’m only human, Jenny…even
I
can’t resist the potent allure of sex.’

With her hands folded on the table, Jenny raised her stunned blue gaze to his. ‘Is that all this meant to you…? A convenient opportunity to assuage your lust? I can hardly believe you could be so cruel.’

‘I just want you to know the truth.’

‘The truth…Yes, I realise that must be a real priority with you—especially when you stood beside me in front of the registrar and repeated your marriage vows as if they meant something. Clearly now I know they meant nothing to you at all. You should have told me from the beginning you were only here under duress. It would have been better if you’d just braved the roads and driven away to find another place to stay. It certainly would have been better for
me
!’

Feeling as if his words had hammered nails into his own coffin, Rodrigo grimaced. ‘When I said my marriage vows I meant them. But sadly time and a large dose of reality proved me wrong,’ he murmured. ‘I should never have asked you to marry me in the first place. That
was
selfish of me.’

‘Yes, it was, Rodrigo. It was selfish and cruel when probably all you wanted to do was have a brief sexual liaison without any inconvenient emotional strings attached.’ Rising to her feet, Jenny hugged herself, as though fending off any more potentially hurtful blows. ‘Well…in the light of all you’ve just told me I think it would be best if you just packed your things and left. You’re probably itching to get back to work any way. There’s no need for you to stay here until Monday. I certainly don’t want you staying out of any sense of obligation. In any case, I’m feeling more or less back to my normal self now, and I can’t stay in bed indefinitely…not when I’ve a million and one things to do to get this place shipshape before Lily comes home.’

‘Jenny—’

‘What?’

She was withdrawing…shutting herself off from him with devastating intention, Rodrigo saw. The realisation put him in turmoil, even though he knew he was the cause.

‘I promised I’d stay until Monday, and you are not right yet—I can see that. To reassure you, I’m not staying out of a sense of obligation or duty. It makes sense for you to take the next couple of days to fully get your strength back before you throw yourself into work again.’

‘And you’re suggesting that out of the goodness of your heart, are you? Forgive me if I can’t quite believe that.’

At the door, her glance was scathing. Yet within the bitterness of her tone Rodrigo thought he heard sorrow, and regret too. His chest was so tight that he unconsciously rubbed his palm across it.

‘You should just go on your way, Rodrigo, and do whatever’s best for you. Put this whole inconvenient episode behind you and get back to the world you’re clearly much more comfortable with. That’s my advice to you.’

With her head held high, Jenny left him alone with his own morose thoughts…

Throwing herself back into taking care of things was what she had decided to do. If her body ached, or her head suddenly swam with heat, Jenny determinedly ignored it. She couldn’t afford to be ill any longer.

Rodrigo had wounded her with his cruel words and the candid admission that the only reason he’d stayed to take care of her was because of the sexual attraction that had brought them together in the first place and his hope of having his lust fulfilled. Well, she had definitely contributed to helping him achieve
that
ambition. But—even though she was disappointed in him, as well as mad at herself for falling so hard for him again—Jenny found she couldn’t regret the making love part.
It had been the realisation of a dream she had long held to hold him in her arms again.

Now that he was leaving it would be all she had to console her over the harsh winter months back in London. Winter months during which she would try hard to keep her spirits up even as she worked at a career she’d lost heart in pursuing with any conviction, living in a small, cheerless rented flat because she’d lost the home she’d taken such pride in to a malevolent fire.

Seeking to drown out her despairing thoughts, she switched on the vacuum cleaner, running the machine up and down the hall carpet as if her life depended on it. Poor Cozette ran for cover at the frenetic, noisy activity, disappearing upstairs as swiftly as a bullet from a gun.

A short while later Rodrigo passed her in the hallway while she was working. But he barely glanced at her before he too ascended the staircase, presumably going up to his room to pack. Biting her lip, Jenny blinked back the scalding tears that surged into her eyes.

She was busy dusting the heavy oak sideboard in the living room when he appeared again. Sensing the aloof air that cloaked him, Jenny shivered. She saw that he was wearing his expensive raincoat—the one that had dripped onto the raffia mat that end-of-the-world stormy night—and knew with a heavy heart that nothing but sorrow lay ahead of her.

‘So you’re leaving, then?’

Pursing his well-cut lips, he nodded. ‘It’s not the way I would have liked to say goodbye, Jenny…whether you believe me or not. But it seems I have no choice, seeing as you’ve more or less told me to go. Can I settle my bill?’

You could say you refuse to leave me this way! You could say you’ve changed your mind. Do you think I wouldn’t forgive you?

‘Of course.’ She made herself walk across the carpet and out through the door ahead of him. But she felt like an automaton because her senses were so numbed by grief.

Pausing by the chestnut bureau in the hall that accommodated the telephone and the reservations book, she glanced up at Rodrigo with a frown.

‘What am I doing? I said I wouldn’t charge you. You don’t have to pay anything.’

‘And I told you how I felt about that.’ He proffered a gold Mastercard.

Staring at it dumbly for a few seconds, she registered the reminder that he owned a multi-million-pound business.

‘Just because you’ve got money it doesn’t mean you should always pay. You looked after me when I was sick and I’m very grateful. This is my way of saying thank you.’

‘I’ve had shelter here too, as well as eaten your food!’ His velvet-dark gaze flashed unrestrained impatience.

Distress welling up inside her at his antagonistic tone, Jenny smoothed a shaky hand across her ponytail. ‘I don’t want to argue about this. Please…just accept your stay here as a gift. I’m sure you’re impatient to be on your way and get back to work. Here’s a map of the area in case you need it.’ She returned the credit card, along with a slim folded map. ‘Where will you go after your meeting here?’

‘Back to Barcelona.’

After shoving both items she’d given him carelessly into his coat pocket, to Jenny’s surprise he captured her hand. Her heart began to race wildly.

‘It’s been incredible, seeing you again. I’ll never forget it. Looking after you…being in this peaceful place…It provided a rest I badly needed—even though there were a couple of nights when I must have aged about a hundred years because your fever was bad. I know I said that I only stayed because of my attraction for you, Jenny, but I promise you…there was not one second when I wished I was somewhere else.’

Her long-lashed summer-blue eyes regarded him gravely. ‘At one point you told me your body, heart and soul were lost to me. I know you only said it in the throes of passion, so was that a lie too?’

It took Rodrigo a couple of moments to field the anguish that deluged him and regain his composure. ‘It was no lie. When I said it, I meant it. I’ve never said such things to any other woman before or since you. I also meant our wedding vows when I made them, and truly regret that I couldn’t keep them.’

‘And yet now you can leave so easily? Without even the merest suggestion that we might see each other again?’

‘I would willingly see you again, but whether it would be a good idea or not is debatable. My schedule is so crazy, and you know how much I have to travel. I wouldn’t want to make you any promises I couldn’t keep. I wouldn’t want to let you down a second time.’

‘Don’t worry about it. It’s okay. We had a nice time together, even though I was ill, and we’ll part as friends…Is that what you want to hear?’

In answer, Rodrigo pressed a light kiss to her scented cheek and let go of her hand. He stooped to pick up his laptop case and slipped the leather strap over his shoulder. ‘I hope you won’t stay angry with me for ever. I hope one day you can forgive me. Don’t overdo things. Please take my advice and get some more rest.
Adios
, my beautiful Jenny Wren.’

He hardly knew where he was driving—just followed the instructions to take him to Penzance from the now functioning satellite navigation system which had gone askew in the storm. It was as if he was on automatic pilot.

Verdant fields, hills, quaint Cornish villages and breathtaking beaches that were a Mecca for devoted surfers passed him by in a barely registered blur. In his mind all Rodrigo saw was Jenny’s dazzling tear-washed blue gaze and the slight rosy flush to her cheeks that her illness had left behind. She was the most incredible woman…
too
incredible for a lost cause like him to even imagine having a meaningful relationship with. He could see her again, yes, and for a few short weeks, months—even a year—things might go well. But sooner or later Rodrigo’s addiction to his work plus his insatiable desire for greater and greater success would bear down on him
and
Jenny, and then she would despair of him, start to mistrust him, and finally declare she had had enough and leave.

Slamming the heel of his hand against the steering wheel, he spared himself nothing with his vehement curse. Then, blinking dazedly at the map flashing on the sat nav, he saw that it showed he was now entering Penzance.

Chapter Nine

J
ENNY
bade an affectionate goodbye to her rejuvenated friend Lily, then returned to London and unexpected good news. There was a cheque in the post from the insurers in answer to her claim for her house.

Having waited a long time for the situation to be resolved, she now found the amount exceeded all her hopes. It meant she had a real chance to start again—to maybe buy another property, expand her business, or do whatever she wanted for a while without stressing about income.