Surrendering (46 page)

As I’ve been healing and moving forward, Declan has been doing just the opposite. I’m not the only one who’s noticed; his sisters are worried too. It wasn’t an immediate transition; he’s become reserved and quiet over the last three weeks. Next week is his birthday and I made plans for us that I’ve been keeping secret. Since my spring break was so close to my incident, I wasn’t able to go with him to the beach festival in Florida due to homework. But now that I’m caught up, I have plans to take him away for a weekend getaway. My goal’s to get him to open up to me and try to overcome this dark shadow following him because of Christie.

I talked to the band and they cleared the show on Saturday night. I covered my class on Friday so we’re going to catch an early morning flight. I packed his bag and it’s ready to go.

I wake him up on Friday morning and tell him we’re going away for the weekend. He actually looks relieved.

Our drive to the airport is silent. He holds my hand, but doesn’t even ask where we’re going.

“Are you going to keep this up?”

“What?”

“I’m not sure I like the silent and brooding Declan. He freaks me out. Are you ever going to talk to me?”

He sighs again; this is becoming its own type of expression with him. “I’m sorry; I have a lot on my mind lately. I don’t mean to shut you out.”

“Well STOP! I can’t take it anymore. Tell me what’s wrong with you. I need to know.” My emotions take over and the tears start falling. “You aren’t yourself; everyone is worried.”

He parks the car and turns to me. “Shit, Sparkle, don’t cry. I’m sorry; I can’t get over what happened to you. At first I was just so happy you were okay. But then as you got better, it became clearer and clearer that it was my fault.”

“Please quit thinking like that. Christie is a psycho stalker who thought she was in love with you. She followed you around, took pictures and videos of you without your permission. She came into your house and stole your clothes. Then she kidnapped your fiancé to try and get you back. How is that your fault?”

“THE GUILT IS KILLING ME!” He screams. “Every time I think of the whole situation, the nameless girls on the video, the way I treated them, the way Finn looked at me knowing what an asshole I was, it’s eating me up. Then I think of the way you looked in the hospital bed, so broken, and I burn inside. You are the most important thing in my life and I put you in danger.”

I’m full out crying. I’m not sure I can break through to him. He gets out and comes to my side of the truck and pulls me into him. He holds me as I cry into his chest and I feel his own tears on my neck.

“I love you so much.”

“I think you need to talk to someone about this. Maybe a professional that can help you navigate through these feelings. You aren’t the same person and I need you to be the Declan I know and love. Please think about it.”

He rubs the tears from my cheeks and kisses a path down my face. “Okay, I’ll think about it.”

“Thanks.”

“Now are you going to tell me where we are going for my secret birthday celebration?” He smiles at me with his signature Declan smile.

“Yeah, I’ll tell you. We’re going to Destin. We’re flying into Fort Walton and I rented us a car for the weekend. We have an oceanfront room and a private balcony. We’ll have full beach access, a pool, and the works.”

“You did all this for me?”

“Yes, you and I needed time away alone and I thought the beach was the perfect place. I even have some leads on good bands in the area to go listen to if you want.”

“God, you’re perfect. Let’s go get our weekend started. As soon as we pass through those airport doors, let’s forget about everything that has happened for the next three days.”

I nod my head and get my purse. He gets our bags and we head to get our e-tickets. I feel a sense of nostalgia as I think about the last time we were here with our trip to New Orleans. I pray this trip will be as romantic and easygoing.

We arrive at the gate and I get a text from Finn asking me to meet him later today. I reply I’m out of town with Declan. He doesn’t respond right away so I send another text to ask if we can get together on Monday night for dinner. He just says yes. Finn has been acting strange since I got out of the hospital; he’s rarely around. Whenever I see Jimi, he says he doesn’t know what’s going on. It’s been a month since I left the hospital and I miss the old Finn.

Our flight is uneventful and I read while Declan works on some music. He smiles up at me when he catches me staring at him. His mood has shifted to his normal, playful self.

The weather is perfect and we drive our convertible rental straight to our hotel. We still have the whole day ahead of us and I want to go straight to the beach. Our room is beautiful and the view is breathtaking.

We change and I load a small beach bag with our stuff. Declan comes out of the bathroom behind me and whistles. I turn and do my best model pose for him. I’m wearing a new red and white halter bikini with a matching sarong. “You like?”

He circles me and places his fingertips on the small of my back. “You look amazing. Is this a private beach?”

“Not that I know of, but I’m not sure how many people are out there today.”

“Do you want to go to the beach right now?”

I swallow hard, trying to sound convincing. “Yep, right now.”

He grins at my blatant lie. “You sure?”

“Uh huh.”

“Promise me something; promise me I can have you for two hours after the beach and before dinner. Although two hours may not be enough, it’s a start.”

“Okay.” I croak. My insides melt.

He laughs and gives me a kiss before grabbing our bag and leading me out of the room towards the beach.

The day is beautiful. Declan joins in a beach volleyball game that’s seriously hot! It’s four-on-four and all of the guys are very good-looking. Sweaty, muscular, and covered in sand is a great look. When the game’s over, I pretend I haven’t spent the last forty-five minutes staring. Declan lands beside my chair trying to catch his breath. I giggle and pretend to read.

“Whatcha laughing about?”

“Nothing specific, just a funny part in my book.”

“I’ve read your books, not a lot of humor in them. More like sex.”

Busted! “This is a new book.”

“So you’re not laughing about me laying next to you completely exhausted after volleyball?”

“You were playing volleyball?”

Before I can protest, I’m thrown over his shoulder and he drops my reader to the towel. He starts walking towards the water as I scream at him to let me down. He keeps going until he’s waist deep and then he lowers me slowly down his front.

“Why in the world did you just manhandle me to the water? I would’ve come willingly.”

“Because this was so much more fun. You think I didn’t know you were watching me? I could feel your eyes staring at me and I needed to get you alone as soon as possible.”

“This is hardly alone; there’s a beach full of people behind us.”

“Maybe, but they can’t see me do this.” He slips his fingers into to my bottoms and inserts them into me. I hiss at the intrusion, but my body immediately adjusts.

Declan has been so careful with me the last few weeks; I welcome his aggressiveness. I lock my arms around his shoulders, trying to give him easier access. He shifts so his bulging erection is against my thigh. I stare into his eyes and ride his fingers. He lowers his mouth to mine to stifle the scream I let off a minute later.

“Jesus Christ, you’re sexy.” He holds me to him as my body comes down.

“It’s you, really; you bring it out of me. Wish I could return the favor, but I’m not sure I could pull off riding you in the ocean without an audience.”

“We have all afternoon; I plan on spending a lot of time in you on this trip.”

We walk out of the water hand in hand and my insides are jumping up and down over my Declan being back.

We get back to the room and Declan takes his two hours to show me exactly what the weekend has promised. After three earth-shattering orgasms and a shower, we go out for a night on the town. We end up at Baytowne Wharf. We eat a delicious dinner and listen to live music at The Funky Blues Shack until I can’t dance anymore.

When we get back to the room, we strip off our clothes and fall into bed. I crawl over to his side and lay down over his body.

“Thank you for this; you came back to me today and I needed you.”

“Thank you, Sparkle, for showing me we’re okay. I love you.”

We drift off to sleep holding one another.

The rest of the weekend is the same. We go to the beach during the day and make love all afternoon. We eat great dinners and find live entertainment. On Sunday when we check out, I think we might just be okay.

Chapter 39

Cut Him Some Slack

We return to Nashville on a high and it lasts for almost two weeks. Sayge has been busy, performing, sometimes four times a week, and I’ve been trying to finish up my semester. As promised, I kept up the Facebook and Website which has significantly increased in popularity. Sayge has been chosen to headline the Franklin Main Street Festival on Saturday night and Jay wants to promote the disc and get T-shirts made. We took an image from one of their appearances and had a local group screen it onto a white shirt. Then we came up with a script for Sayge and printed it on a plain black T. Both are really cool and all the guys were impressed with our quick thinking.

Declan has been in touch with Ryan Knight and asked Knight’s Dream to come check out the show. They drive up on Friday afternoon and we decide to go downtown and show them ‘honky-tonk’ city.

Robbie, Jimi, and Abbi join us for dinner. Abbi and I get a lot of stares from the waitresses since we are the only two girls in this large group of gorgeous guys. After dinner, we go straight to Tootsie’s Wild Orchid Lounge. We settle in at the upstairs stage close to the band. Declan knows the lead singer and waves him over to meet all of us. When he joins our table, it becomes chaotic. There are girls everywhere and Abbi and I are pushed to the side, so we leave to get a drink and go to the bathroom. Before I walk away, I see a leggy brunette push up on Declan’s lap.

When we finally return, the table is half empty. Ryan’s sitting alone on his phone.

“Dec, she just walked up with your sister. She looks fine. Yeah man, I’ll keep her here.”

“What’s that about?” I ask.

“You mean besides Declan calling out a search party when he realized you weren’t around? I’ve never seen someone move so fast in my life. Half the guys went out back and the others flew downstairs.”

“Shit.”

I feel arms around me lifting me into the air. Declan turns me around and squeezes me until I can’t breathe.

“Baby, I can’t breathe, loosen your grip.”

“Fucking shit, Raven, don’t do that again! You scared the piss out of all of us.” People from around the room are looking at us. I feel the heat creep up my body in embarrassment.

“Keep your voice down; people are staring.”

“When I looked up and couldn’t find you, I lost my mind.” Everyone is circling back to the table now and Abbi’s trying to start a new conversation.

“I went to the bathroom. And besides, when I left, you looked content with that girl crawling up on your lap!”

“Oh, so you were punishing me? You disappear to scare me; do you know what that did to me?”

“No, I wasn’t punishing you! I went to the bathroom.”

The look in his eyes is dark and heated with no remorse about yelling at me. I stand still against his side and Nate breaks in. “Raven, maybe in light of recent events, you can let one of us know when you leave the group so we can keep tabs. It’s nothing personal; we just want to protect you.”

I can’t stay here anymore, the rage is building and I’m not sure how much longer I can hold it back. I get my purse from the table and say goodnight to everyone including Declan. He reaches for me, but I reject his touch.

“Don’t- you humiliated me. First off, I’m not some damsel in distress that can’t make it on my own in a bar. Second, maybe you can find the tramp from earlier to keep you company tonight. I’m leaving.”

I turn to leave and pull Robbie with me on my way towards the back alley. Abbi and Jimi follow us until we hit the street. I start walking towards the riverfront with one thing on my mind.

Robbie catches up to me and I stop only when I see that Declan hasn’t followed us. “Robbie, I’m not ready to go home. I’m going to Coyote Ugly to dance and then going to a hole-in-the-wall to finish getting drunk. You can come with me or not. I don’t care.”

Abbi links her arm in mine and starts walking. “Sounds like a fine plan. Let’s get our crazy on!”

The guys don’t say anything, but wisely follow.

After several shots, Abbi and I dance on the bar shaking our ass and screaming the words to the songs with the bartenders. I feel two strong hands on my legs and fall into Robbie. Jimi has Abbi as well.

“We need to go now. Declan’s on his way and I don’t want to see his reaction to this.”

We run out the back door and my phone rings. I have four missed calls and shut my phone off without answering it. We hurry back towards Robbie’s truck because he refuses to go to another bar.

When we get home, Ella is sitting on the couch with Will. She takes one look at us and starts laughing. “Another fun night out on the town?”

I laugh back at her. “I guess you can say that. If you count Declan getting mauled by a skanky brunette and yelling at me in front of a bar full of people. Then me walking out on him- then yeah, typical night.” I sit down next to her and she raises her nose at me.

“I stink; I’m going to shower. Talk to y’all later.” I head to my room.

When I get out of the shower, Robbie is on my bed hanging up his phone. He gives me a look I know too well.

I sink on the bed next to him and curl up. “What is it now?”

“You need to give him a break; he’s insane about you in a good way.”

“You think that little display tonight was a good thing?”

“Not really, but you should’ve seen him when he couldn’t find you. You disappeared without telling any of us. His reaction was normal.”