Surrendering (47 page)

“He seemed a little preoccupied with that floozy on his lap.”

“RJ, he pushed her off of him like a rabid dog. Then he looked for you and freaked out when he couldn’t find you. When you didn’t come back right away, he had all of us looking for you.”

“I only went to the bathroom with Abbi.”

“Baby Girl, I know you have been sheltered from the details, but when you were kidnapped, it was pandemonium. Not just with our family, but Declan went crazy. He was scared shitless. He didn’t sleep, he barely ate, and he stayed in your room at Mom and Dad’s to be closer to you. When we found you, he almost fought me to get to you, but I knew Christie couldn’t be allowed to see him. He blames himself for what she did and he isn’t getting over it. So if he wants to know when you go to the bathroom, you should cut him some slack.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I think you should tell him that. And just for the record, I like that he keeps tabs on you. If something happened to you, I’d never be the same.”

I squeeze him tight against me. “You wanna stay here tonight?”

“Yeah, let me shower really quick. I need to let Finn know too.”

“What’s the deal with Finn? He hasn’t been around lately. I haven’t seen him since dinner a few weeks ago.”

Robbie stiffened against me, “I think you should talk to him. I’m not getting in the middle of it.” Then he goes to take his shower.

There’s a pit in my stomach because I know I’ve done something to piss Finn off. What it is, I have no idea.

I turn on my phone and find several messages and texts from Declan. I decide to call him to get it over with. He answers instantly. “Sparkle, are you okay?” He asks quietly.

“Yes, I’m fine. Where are you?”

“I came home. I needed to get to sleep for tomorrow anyway. We’re heading to Franklin early.”

He doesn’t invite me to go with them so I reply, “Okay.”

“I’m sorry I yelled at you tonight. I lost my head when you went missing. I had images flashing through my mind that I never want to see again.”

“I’m sorry too. Robbie explained some things to me tonight that make things clearer. I wish you would have talked to me about those few days when I was gone and what you went through. I may have had a different reaction.”

“I never want to feel that helpless again. You have every right to be mad at me, but bear with me- Will you go with us tomorrow?”

“Do you want me to- for the whole day?”

“Yes, I need you with me. Maybe you can show me how to tweet as a way to apologize to you.”

“You’re on. I’ll come by your house in the morning to ride with you. Robbie’s staying with me tonight.”

“Lucky guy. I love you”

“You too. See you tomorrow.”

Robbie sleeps on the couch, but I leave my door open so we can talk occasionally. He finally tells me to shut up so he can sleep. I smile for possibly the first time tonight.

*****

I don’t have time to knock before the door’s opened and Declan picks me up. I smell his cologne mixed with soap and my legs instinctively wrap around his waist. He showers my neck with kisses and tilts my head so he can get to my lips. He doesn’t pull away until we hear noise from the living room. I slide down and wipe my lip gloss off his mouth before turning to say hello to the group.

The ride to Franklin is an event in itself. The excitement and energy coming from the guys is contagious. Jay has all the merchandise and I promised to meet him later to sort it for sale. Our plan for the day is to enjoy the festivities and then watch the two opening groups. We both run into people we know and Declan always introduces me as his fiancé. The girls’ faces fall every time. But when I do the same, people automatically look at my stomach to see if I’m pregnant; we both laugh at this.

I download Twitter on Declan’s phone and give him a lesson on how to tweet. He’s hesitant at first, but after his first response comes in, he decides it’s pretty cool. We take pictures and upload to his feed with the exact time of the show. He promotes the opening bands, encouraging people to get downtown early to see all the musical talent.

I meet Jay and set up the merchandise tent. Ella, Abbi and Jimi join us right before Sayge starts. I see my parents in the crowd with David. I give them shirts to wear. My dad refuses to wear it, but takes it anyway. Most of our friends join me on the side stage to watch as Sayge takes the stage. The crowd is larger than I’ve ever seen at this festival.

When the band takes their first break, Jay screams for me to help him because it’s chaos at the sales tent. I grab both the Collins sisters and we jump in. I don’t see him come up, but I feel his arms around me.

“Hey, baby, you’re doing awesome up there!”

“You think so? How’s the acoustics?”

“Honestly, it’s been okay so far, but you might want to adjust a little for Blake’s solo. It could shock the crowd.”

“Good to know. How’s it going over here?”

“We’re swamped and almost all your stuff is gone. I think it might be a good idea to offer autographs at the end of the show. I know we didn’t talk about it, but I think it’ll boost your reputation to the local crowd.”

“I’ll talk to the guys, but I think it’s a great idea. Do you think you’ll spend the night at my place tonight?”

“Do you want me too? You have a crowd already.”

“Yeah, I want you there. Last night was terrible and I feel the need to make it up to you.” He starts kissing down my neck until he reaches my collarbone. There’s a cough behind us and I turn to see my dad glaring at us. Declan lets me go and heads back to the stage, but makes a point to kiss me before leaving. My dad shakes his head, but smiles as he walks away.

When the show is over, Sayge signs autographs for an hour before we leave. The after party at Declan’s house lasts until dawn. Before I go to bed, I make breakfast for the group of people staying over. Ryan sits down next to me and hands me a bottle of water.

“Raven, I know we don’t know each other very well, but I feel I need to say something.”

I raise my eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

“If you were my girl and got kidnapped from some ex-fling, I would act the same way Declan does. He’s torn right now and having a hard time dealing with it.”

“Ryan, did he say something to you?”

“Not in so many words, but I know where he’s at. I talked to him a few days ago about touring this summer. He’s scared shitless about leaving you, but I think he wants to give it a shot. He’s constantly looking over his shoulder to see if someone is watching you.”

“Wow, I don’t know what to say to all that.”

“Nothing to say, just know he means well. And hell, I told him to invite you along this summer. I think it would be fun to have you around. You even make this bunch of assholes look better.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. And just to let you know, I would never hold him back so if he wants me with him, I’ll be there.”

Ryan smiles at me and goes to the living room.

Declan motions me towards the bedroom so I say good-bye to anyone still awake and head to bed.

Chapter 40

Graduation

I never realized how boring Graduation ceremonies are. Declan asked me to go with him to Abbi’s commencement and I promised him I would go. He somehow thought that I could make the hours more bearable. He was wrong.

To be honest, I’m glad to have this time with Declan. He’s been so distant over the last few weeks and I feel that there’s a hole growing in our relationship. Even though we’ve slept together almost every night, we haven’t had much alone time.

Declan finally told me about Ryan’s offer to tour with them this summer. Declan’s band has their own bus, but Declan hasn’t invited me to go with them. He’s been avoiding the subject all together.

Since I’m still running the website and Facebook accounts, Jay has been keeping me updated with all the info. Jay’s working with Knight’s Dream to put together a schedule, but it looks like the guys are going to be playing shows all over the southeast. So far, they’ve booked twenty shows over a six-week period. Knight’s Dream recently had a song hit the radio circuit so their popularity has skyrocketed. They finally cut an album and their single is climbing the charts. Since they aren’t huge yet, their manager and Jay wanted them to play in venues that appeal to their original fans. Sayge is fine with it because they want to stay connected to their fans. Nothing is solidified yet, but it looks like the two bands will hit the road after Bonnaroo.

After Abbi’s graduation, David takes us all out to dinner to celebrate. Jimi gave Abbi a beautiful necklace for a graduation present. Since she’s so artistic, he had a pendant made out of sea glass; it’s striking. David and Declan haven’t talked much about it, but I know they like Jimi and Abbi together. Apparently, it’s okay for Declan to meet me, fall in love with me, and get engaged to me all within five and a half months, but Jimi has been warned not to propose until they’ve been dating at least a year. I’m not sure she knows about that conversation, but Robbie told me about it.

After dinner, David leaves for home and the rest of us head downtown. My Atlanta friends are coming home in a few weeks. Kendall is the only one who got a job, but she isn’t starting until July. She’s going to stay living in Atlanta and Harper decided she wanted to stay as well. Charlie is moving back to Nashville. She has a few interviews lined up, but she mostly wants to spend the summer obligation-free. Blake and her have officially hooked up and she is planning on going to as many of the shows this summer as possible.

Since it’s graduation weekend, every bar we hit is loaded with people. It’s becoming increasingly harder to get drinks and Declan is having a hard time holding onto me in the crowds. After about an hour, he asks me if we can go home. I say yes and we say our good-byes.

When we get to my house, Declan slumps down on the sofa with his head in his hands.

“What’s wrong?” I ask softly.

“Those crowds made me nervous. I couldn’t keep my eye on you like I wanted to. My stomach was in knots the whole time.”

“Declan, Christie’s in jail. I’m not a target anymore. We’re in exactly the same place we were before she kidnapped me. You don’t need to worry anymore. We’re just a normal couple. You have to stop looking over your shoulder and thinking I’m in trouble.”

“That’s just it, Raven; I can’t. I’ve tried. It’s easier some days more than others, but things are different now.” Resignation radiates in his voice and I have a feeling we aren’t just talking about my kidnapping anymore.

“Declan, look at me. What are you talking about?” He still won’t look at me and I start to panic. He keeps his gaze to the floor even when I pull on his shoulders to get him to face me.

He sighs against his hands and finally looks me in the eyes. “Raven, I’m so fucking confused by what’s happening; I can’t see straight!”

“Let’s start from the beginning; talk to me. You’re not making sense.”

“Sayge has been given this awesome opportunity and I can’t even get excited because I’m so scared of what might happen to you.”

“What are you saying?”

“Nate, Blake, and Cooper came over a few days ago to talk about the summer tour. This is important to them- to us- and they know my head isn’t in the game. This is the chance we’ve been waiting for. Jay already has a small label looking at us. If we do well in the first few shows, there’s a chance they’ll give us a contract to cover recording an album. The marketing team would jump in with Knight’s Dream and push for more shows after the summer. This is our big shot.”

“Dec, this is all good news. What’s the problem?”

“You, you’re the problem.”

I didn’t expect this answer. Wow! “Me?”

“Yeah, the guys need me to be one hundred percent and I can’t concentrate because I’m always worried about you. If I ask you to come, I can’t guarantee your safety. They’ve asked me not to bring you along.”

“They asked you not to invite your fiancé along with you for a six-week tour that could be your big break?” I can’t hide the hurt in my voice. “What did you tell them?”

He doesn’t say anything. He just stares at me and I know his answer.

“You aren’t going to ask me to come are you, Declan?”

He doesn’t say anything; he lies back against the couch and focuses on the ceiling. I wait him out and he finally looks at me. “I don’t think I can. This is not about me anymore.”

“What the fuck does that mean? What happened to nothing ever coming between us and you doing anything for me? Was all that bullshit? Why are we even having this conversation?”

“For fuck’s sake, Raven! This isn’t about planning a surprise party or changing a gig at The Steamroom so we can go to a concert! This is about our future. This is our chance at the big time. Opportunities like this don’t just come along every day. Sayge has a real shot here and I owe it to the guys. They’re like brothers to me. I can’t let them down.”

“What about letting me down? What exactly are you saying here, Declan? You know I would never ever ask you to go against your band, or choose between your friends and me. I thought we were stronger than this.”

“Do you even understand how I feel about this? I fucking love you! I’ve been sick trying to find a way to talk to you about this. I…”

“Bullshit! What else is going on? This isn’t about just my security because if that was the case, my dad would have someone available to watch me immediately. I’ll give you one more chance to tell me what the FUCK IS GOING ON?!”

I hit a nerve; his body completely deflates. “Jay and the marketing team want me to appear single and unattached. They think the band’s appeal will increase based on our looks and sound. The lead singer being engaged to an MBA student in his hometown isn’t edgy enough. They say it makes us look more ‘boy next door’ than ‘rock and roll newcomers.’”

OH MY GOD! Not only is Declan leaving for the summer without me, but he’s going to hide our engagement too.

“Declan, did you agree to this? Oh my God, are you going to hook up with random chicks in every city to create a bad boy image? ” This can’t be happening. Today started out so normal.