Read Surviving the Pain (A Baby Saved Me Series Book 1) Online
Authors: P. J. Belden
The minute their eyes met hers she, too, started to cry. The past almost two years have been so hard on not just Ember, but her parents too. Together they pushed past and rocked the storm, but they were all certain it wasn’t the end of the battle. Hudson would eventually have questions. For now, however, there was finally calm in the rapid waters.
“Emmy, this is so beautiful,” Kimberly finally spoke in a hushed and cracking voice.
“Ember, I… I…” her father attempted to speak but ended up just shaking his head.
“I love you both so much. I’d never be here now if it weren’t for you guys. Thank you for never giving up on me. For not turning your back on Hudson. I’m sorry that I’ve caused all these extra hurdles to jump, but thank you for loving me more because of them.”
“We’d have you no other way,” Everett choked out.
After a long hug and more rounds of ‘I love yous’, the baby monitor let them know that Hudson was now awake and ready to start his party. Smiling, Ember moved to go get her boy when her father stopped her.
“Let me get him. You need to clean up your face before everyone gets here.”
Giving him a quizzical look, she headed to the bathroom instead of her son’s room. Looking at herself in the mirror, her usually sleek, long, brown hair was unkempt and wild. Quickly brushing her hair, she splashed water on her face to hopefully clear away the splotches from her tears. Ember didn’t wear make-up, so she had none to fix and was back out in the room with her mom just as her father came down the short hall. Hudson squealed the minute he saw his mommy.
“Momomomomomomomom,” he chattered away and the only thing she could do was smile.
As Everett was handing him over to Ember, he told her that he’d been changed and freshened up. The door rang almost the minute Hudson made it to her arms completely. Looking down at her little boy, Ember tickled him as she spoke.
“Is the birthday boy ready for visitors?”
He continued to laugh as Ember walked over and answered the door. It seemed almost as if everyone came together because they all stood there with big smiles and presents. Stepping back, Ember invited them all in. Each person walked past loving on Hudson as they went.
Grey stopped in front of me and talked to Hudson for a minute before looking at me. Grey Matthews was handsome. He had blonde hair, green eyes, tall, and admittedly very eye catching. Grey was also best friends with Sage when he was here. Aside from my parents, Grey has been the only one to help me through it all. Still, he doesn’t know it all and he won’t. There was no need to tell him everything. He told me once, a long time ago, that Sage would have wanted him to keep an eye on her. Grey loved Sage like a brother.
“Hey you,” he murmured.
“Hey,” Ember responded, smiling kindly at him.
Leaning in, he pressed a tender kiss to her cheek before pulling back and looking her in the eyes. “How are you doing?”
“Good. I can’t believe he’s a year old already. It’s hard to believe. Seems like just yesterday when I first laid eyes on him.” Ember’s smile was fragile from both the bittersweet and sad memories that assaulted her at once.
“I know. He’s getting so big. Pretty soon, he’ll be carrying your shortness around,” he chuckled.
A memory suddenly grabbed her, and she was unable to push it away. A memory from a time before the pain, before the loss, before the betrayal. It was a memory that brought a smile to her face, instead of tears to her eyes.
“Ems? What are you trying to do?” Sage’s laughter-filled voice greeted her and filled her soul.
Grunting, very unladylike, she continued to try and get a bowl from the top shelf in the kitchen of her parents’ home. “Right now I wish I was Gumby and could stretch up and reach this damn bowl. You know, it sucks being short sometimes.”
Sage’s hands rested on her hips as he stood behind her. Pressing a kiss to her shoulder, he pulled her back into his body, filling her with his warmth. Just as Ember sighed and relaxed into her favorite way for him to hold her, he hoisted her up and caught her in his arms, carrying her like a groom would a bride. Ember caught his gaze as his smile only grew when she’d squealed loudly. Her whole body tingled. It hummed from the look he was giving her and the feel of being in his arms.
“I like you being short. You are my perfect height. You are my perfect everything. Getting to hold you like this is more than worth having to reach up and grab a bowl.” Ember’s heart melted at his words. “But hey, that whole stretching thing has some pretty good possibilities going for it too,” he laughed.
“Ugh! You pig,” Ember teased. The truth was he had her so well hooked on him that even her mind started with dirty thoughts.
Sage tipped his head back and started making pig sounds before meeting Ember’s giggling sounds. He looked deep into her eyes for what seemed like forever but mere seconds at the same time. Leaning down, he kissed her lips tenderly before resting his forehead on hers. In a whisper soft voice, he spoke.
“Only your pig, Ems. Only ever yours.”
And before she could stop it, even knowing it’d only been a few months, Ember blurted the words that she had no clue how he’d take. “I love you, Sage Jacobs.”
Setting her feet on the floor, her frantic heart stopped when he cupped her face in his big hands. “Finally,” he breathed before taking her lips passionately.
Ember wrapped her arms around his neck and stepped closer to him, kissing him back with all the love she felt. It was like a first kiss all over again. The circumstances changed, unknowns known and the whole dynamic of the moment meant so much more. She stopped when she realized he never said it back. Pulling back, Sage tightened his arms around her waist and lowered his head to her shoulder.
He laughed suddenly, and Ember’s heart squeezed tightly in her chest. “I think I walked away from that lunch table in love with you. I think I fell more and more in love with you as our friendship grew. Then you said yes to me when I asked you to be my girlfriend and my heart about exploded with love.” Lifting his head, he gazed down at me. “You had owned my heart long before you became my world. I love you so much, Ember Watson. We’ve got many happy years ahead of us. Many memories to make and a family to raise. You are it for me, even only sixteen, I know you are it for me. I’m all yours body and soul. Pig and all.”
Ember laughed softly before she pressed a small kiss to his lips. Just then, her father walked into the kitchen.
“I know I told you that you could date Emmy, but it doesn’t mean I’m ready for it. No kissing until your forty-five, yeah? You’re going to give me gray hairs.”
Sage stepped back and apologized. All Ember could do was start laughing.
“Where’d you go,” Grey’s voice penetrated one of her happy memories, one that didn’t shatter her heart.
“Sorry. I was thinking about Hudson’s appointment next week and my work schedule,” she lied.
Grey cocked his eyebrow and stared at her a moment. She could tell that he didn’t believe a word she just said but let it go anyway. Silently breathing a sigh of relief, she moved into the living room where everyone else was. Ember was tired of everyone looking at her like she was about to break any second. Though she hadn’t broken down since the day she walked away from him, she didn’t feel like she would either. However, everyone else waited for her to explode or implode, whichever be the case. If she was waiting to break, she didn’t know it. Today, more than any other day, she felt stronger almost.
Hudson squirmed in Ember’s arms to get down. Setting him on his still slightly wobbly legs, he took off running. Grey stepped up next to her just as Bexley, Jada, and Isa came over. They gabbed about nothing, mostly work, for a long time. Bexley, Jada, and Isa were the same age as Sage and Grey for that matter. They’d befriended the young pregnant woman right away. Several times they’d told Ember how they were in awe of her strength. To Ember, it wasn’t strength, just stubbornness that kept her going.
About an hour into the party, Grey pulled her to the hallway. Looking up at him, Ember’s face was contorted in confusion. By the look in his eyes, he realized that he’d just practically yanked her away from everyone, including her son.
“I need to talk to you later. After the party, I’ll help you clean up. Please.”
“Okay,” her voice shook in concern. She worried that he would be another one trying to tell her about Sage. Though she could handle more now than she could before, she just didn’t want to be reminded of what he wasn’t. With her.
The party went on with Hudson being a ham as he’d grown to be. His laughter was constant, and he seemed to have the time of his life with everyone at the party. He may not have the father figure he needed in his life, but he had some great men to stand in that place if only for moments at a time. Ember’s dad was one that was there whenever he could be, which has been whenever they’ve needed him and sometimes when they didn’t even know they did.
Soon everyone started heading out the door. A tired little Hudson had long ago crashed on her shoulder. Saying quick goodbyes to everyone, Ember took Hudson to his room and readied him for bed. Ten minutes later, she came out to only Grey there, cleaning.
“Everyone left already,” Ember said with a yawn.
Grey sat the bag down that he’d been filling with trash. “Can we talk?”
“Well, you asked to speak.” She stumbled nervously. “Hudson is sleeping and no one here to interrupt. So speak.”
He walked over closer to her but stopped a few feet away. Running his hand through his slightly shaggy hair, he shoved his hands into his pockets. The more he fidgeted, the more nervous Ember became. Finally, he sighed and started talking.
“You’ve gone through hell over the last couple years. I’ve sat by and watched what he’s done to you. Sage has been my best friend since we were in diapers. I love that man like he was my brother. But he’s an asshole.” He looked up at her then, walked over until he was almost touching her. “I can’t sit back and let another day go by that I could do something. I can’t do it, Emmy. I can’t.”
“D-d-do wh-wh-what,” she stuttered, tipping her head to look him in the eyes.
“This,” he said right before he leaned down and kissed her ever so lightly at first.
Ember stood there shocked. Her brain wasn’t firing anything. With her not pulling away or anything, Grey took it as something that was okay and deepened the kiss. His groan of pleasure filled her living room and echoed in her head. It’d been two years since she’d felt lips on her own that it almost felt foreign. After another few moments of pause, Ember found herself kissing him back. For a few minutes, she gave in to the moment. She allowed herself to feel. She allowed herself to forget.
Breaking from the kiss after a few more stolen moments, Ember kept her eyes closed as she rested her head on Grey’s chest. “What… what does this mean?” she whispered.
“I’ve fallen for you big time, Emmy. I know that Sage’s memory still hurts you, but can’t we live now and try this out? See where it goes? Please stop denying yourself the happiness you deserve. Please.”
For a moment, Ember continued to stare unbelievingly into his eyes. Her mind had told her a long time ago that she needed to let go of Sage. Two years was a long time to hold on to a memory. At the same time, however, Hudson didn’t deserve temporary. That is what held her back from dating.
“Grey, it’s more than just me here. It’s…”
He cupped her face in his hands and a smirk formed on his lips. “I love Hudson like he was mine. I love that little boy, more than I could ever tell you. Remember, I was with you through the beginning of your labor until your parents were able to get there. I know it’s a package deal. What I’m asking is if I’m even an option for
you
?”