Authors: Susan Mallery
“Oh, please. Let's not even pretend that's true. You've always been a coward and a liar. That hasn't changed.”
He grabbed her arm again and this time didn't let go. “I was going to tell you. I started to explain yesterday.”
If her gaze had had laser power, he would be a small stain on the rug right now.
“That's so much bullshit,” she snapped. “And here I am wearing sandals.”
She tried to pull free, but he didn't let her go. “Liz, calm down. We have to talk.”
She continued to tug. Afraid he would bruise her, he finally let her go. She staggered back a step.
“I was going to tell you,” he repeated.
He read the betrayal in her eyes, the hint of pain. “Liar,” she echoed, then waved the envelope. “If this is how you want to play it, then fine. Because I know some damn good lawyers.”
“I'd hoped we could work it out ourselves.”
“You're the one who went to court, Ethan.”
He had. He'd seen a family court judge and asked for an injunction. One that forbade Liz from leaving Fool's Gold with Tyler.
“I didn't know how else to stop you from taking Tyler away,” he explained.
“I have a right to a life,” she said, rubbing her arm. “That life is in San Francisco.”
“You can explain that to the judge next week.”
“I will. I also plan to tell her that I made two efforts to tell you about Tyler and that the only reason you don't already have a relationship with him is your late wife kept the information from you. So don't think you'll make me the bad guy in all this.”
“You were going to leave,” he reminded her, doing his best to hold his temper. It wouldn't help anyone if they both got mad. “You didn't give me a choice in the matter. You just said that I could have alternating weekends. As if that was enough.”
She stared at him. “Is that what this is about? You want more time? Then why didn't you come to me and say that? Why involve a judge?”
“Because I've already lost too much time as it is. I'm not losing any more. You could walk away tomorrow and I couldn't stop you. Now I can.”
“There were a lot of ways to guarantee my cooperation. This isn't one of them.”
“The person I care about here is Tyler.”
“And you think I don't?” she demanded. “You think I haven't spent the last eleven years lying awake at
night, worrying about him, doing what I think is best? Do you think it was easy to come back here five years ago to tell you about him? Do you think it was pleasant talking to Rayanne, listening to her judge me for having had your baby? Do you think I liked her calling me a whore?”
His gut clenched. He wanted to say that Rayanne wouldn't have done that, only he knew better. She would have said that and more. Liz would have represented everything she'd both hated and wanted. Beauty, brains, determination.
He wanted the past to be different but the truth is his relationship with Rayanne had been a mistake. He'd been bored, she'd been pursuing him and if she hadn't gotten pregnantâprobably on purposeâhe would have broken things off sooner rather than later.
But she had gotten pregnant and he'd accepted the responsibility. The way he would have done with Liz.
“I would have married you,” he said softly.
Words he'd expected to make things better. Instead the fury returned. “Yes, I know. Despite having denied even knowing me, let alone swearing you were in love with me, you would have been noble and married the slut you'd knocked up. Lucky me. I could have been your wife. What a thrill to spend my life wondering what horrible things you were saying about me. We could have had T-shirts made. âI didn't want to marry her. I don't even like her.' That would have been great.”
“Dammit, Liz, I said I was sorry. I was young and
stupid. Or does the absolution only go one way? I'm supposed to get over your halfhearted attempt to tell me about Tyler when you were first pregnant. That's fine, because hey, you tried. But my screw up is unforgivable? Want to test your theory in the general public? Or before the judge?”
She raised her hand, as if to hit him. He grabbed her wrist.
They were both breathing hard, glaring fiercely at each other. There was no softness in her expression. No affection, no passion. He'd paid a high price to keep her from leaving. He knew that.
“Tyler is my son,” he said, releasing her. “I've already lost most of his childhood. I'm not willing to lose any more. I protect what's mine.”
“Selectively,” she corrected, lowering her arm and walking to the door. “You'll protect what's yours selectively. Let's not forget that.”
She walked out. The door slammed behind her.
Ethan stood in the foyer, his fists clenching and unclenching. Helplessness washed through him, which only infuriated him more.
Liz made him crazyâmore than any other woman he knew. She had the ability to make him see the worst in himselfâand to want to fix it. She was maddening and difficult and, he had to admit, maybe she was right.
An office door opened and Nevada stepped out into the main room. His sister, dressed in jeans and a work shirt, as always, her boots worn and practical, stared at him.
“You're beyond stupid,” she said. “You know that, right?”
“I had to stop her from leaving.”
“I understand, but jeez, Ethan. There were a lot better ways to go about it. You should have at least warned her.”
“I was going to.”
“Famous last words.” She walked over to him. “I was younger than both you and Liz, but even I heard talk about her. People said ugly things about her mom and assumed they were true about her, too. She grew up with that, every single day.”
He didn't want to hear this, didn't want to know he might have gone too far. “She would have taken Tyler from me.”
“So you'd rather be right than win?” Nevada asked. “You're smarter than that. There's too much at stake here. You've just made Liz your enemy. Is that what you want?”
“I didn't know what else to do.”
“What happened to sitting down and talking?”
“Not something Liz and I can do.” The one evening they'd tried, they'd ended up making love in the kitchen. While he would enjoy repeating the experience, it didn't accomplish anything. “This solves the problem.”
“If you believe that, you're even more stupid than I thought. Do you get what Liz is going through? Being back in town can't be easy. You know how people speak
their minds. She's at the receiving end of a lot of criticism. Liz doesn't have anyone on her side. Okayâ Montana likes her, but is one friend enough? You're her son's father. She should be able to trust you and she can't. No wonder she wants to leave. You're lucky she didn't kick you in the balls first. I would have.”
“I love you, too, sis,” he said sarcastically.
She gave him that pitying look that always made him uncomfortable. “You don't get it and because of that, you're going to lose.”
“What don't I get?”
“I know what Dad used to tell you. We all heard the lectures about what it meant to be a Hendrix. How we had to protect the family name. You got it more than all the rest of us put together. You're the oldest. You would have done anything for him. You gave up your life to take over the family business when he died.” She touched his arm.
“Dad was wrong, Ethan. There are more important things than the family name and reputation. There are the people we love. There's doing what your heart tells you is right.”
“I'm not in love with Liz.”
“No, but back then, you were supposed to be. Doing what's right isn't supposed to hurt someone you care about.”
* * *
L
IZ SPENT THE MORNING WEEDING
. The alternative was breaking every plate in the house, as a way to vent her
temper. While the theory was great, she wasn't sure it was especially smart, considering not only would she have to replace all the dishes, she would also be the one cleaning up the mess.
As she dug and hacked in the garden, she did her best to look at the situation from Ethan's point of view. An attempt that still made her want to punch him really hard.
What she would agree onânot that she was going to tell
him
anytime soonâwas that if she expected him to let the past go, she would have to do the same. Yes, he'd been horrible to her nearly twelve years before, but she'd been worse. She'd made a halfhearted attempt to tell him about her pregnancy, then had disappeared for six years. Not exactly a mature decision.
But an injunction?
By eleven she was hot and sweaty and ready to let go of her fury, if only to get into the cool house. She waited until the construction crew left for lunch, then showered quickly and worked until about three. Then she gathered the ingredients for cookies, cranked up the CD player and danced along to the Black Eyed Peas until the kids got home.
“Mo-om!” Tyler said when he walked into the kitchen with Melissa and Abby. He sounded both horrified and confused. “What are you doing?”
“Making cookies. I've already made some oatmeal raisin. Now I'm moving on to peanut butter.”
Tyler wrinkled his nose. “I meant the other part.”
“The dancing?” she asked with a laugh and turned the player up even louder. “It's fun.”
She reached for Abby who took her hand and began to move her hips. Melissa surprised her by spinning around, then waving her arms in time with the music. Soon even Tyler joined in and they were all dancing around the kitchen.
Liz showed them how to form a conga line and they were weaving through the downstairs, bumping into the sofa and yelling the words to the song.
She broke free of the line and spun in a circle as the song ended. Abby and Tyler flopped onto the sofa, both giggling. But Melissa stood still, her face etched with sadness.
“What's wrong?” Liz asked.
“My mom used to dance with me,” the teen said. “My real mom. Not Bettina.” She gave a smile that faded quickly. “I don't remember very much about her.”
“You remember her in your heart,” Liz said. “That's what's important.”
“I guess.”
Abby stood and sighed. “I don't remember her at all.”
Liz moved to her and touched her cheek. “That's okay. I'm sure she understands and loves you very much.”
“From heaven?”
Liz nodded. Now wasn't the time to get involved in a “life after death” discussion.
“You promise?”
“Yes,” Liz told her. “I promise. No matter what, your mom loves you.”
She wanted to look at Tyler, to see if he got the message as well, but kept her attention on Abby.
“Dad never wrote us,” Melissa pointed out.
Liz didn't know what to say. Roy had promised he would. These were his daughters. Families could be complicated, she thought sadly.
“Does he still love us?” Abby asked.
“Yes.” Liz pulled her close, then held out her free arm to Melissa. “He does. Right now he's dealing with a lot.” What had he said? That he was a busy man? She didn't understand how he could ignore his children, but this wasn't about him. It was about making the girls feel better.
“Can we go see him?” Melissa asked, then cleared her throat. “I want to go see him.”
“I'll take you,” Liz said hesitantly. “But you have to be prepared. Your dad is in prison. It's not like the movies. It's a lot less clean and it's a little intimidating.” There was also a smell, but some details were better left blurry. They would find out soon enough. “I'm not saying that to change your mind, but to warn you what it's going to be like.”
“I want to see him,” Melissa repeated. “Abby, if you're scared, you don't have to come.”
“I want to see Dad, too,” she whispered.
Liz hugged them both. “Then we'll go.”
She glanced at Tyler, who was watching her wide-eyed. Theirs had always been a quiet life, she thought. With routines and predictability. Sure, she'd pulled him out of school once or twice a year for a fun day in the city, but that had been a good kind of surprise. Not every unexpected event fell into that category.
Reality came in all shapes and sizes. In the end, he had two parents who cared about him, even if they couldn't care about each other. She would die for her child. While Ethan might not be there yet, he was determined to be a part of Tyler's life, which was an excellent start.
As for her nieces, they would have to take things slow. Seeing Roy would make his prison sentence real. Whether or not it made leaving harder or easier, she couldn't say. But however things turned out, they would find their way to becoming a family.
In the kitchen, the timer dinged.
“We have cookies,” she announced, releasing the girls. “I'm going to need some help sampling. Any volunteers?”
All three of them yelled out they were willing and together they walked into the kitchen.
* * *
E
THAN WANTED TO IGNORE
his mother's voice-mail request that he stop by on his way home that evening, but knew it wasn't a good idea. Denise didn't make many demands of her children, so when she asked for something, they mostly paid attention.
He had a feeling he knew the topic she would want to discuss. He would rather chew glass than talk about his relationship with Liz, but he didn't see how he could avoid it. Sometimes having close relationships was a giant pain in the ass. If he and his mother were estranged, he could cheerfully ignore her. But they weren't, and the affection between them demanded he be forthcoming.
He parked in front of the house and walked to the front door.
“It's me,” he called.
“I'm in the kitchen.”
He moved to the rear of the house, then stepped into the bright, open kitchen. His mother stood at the counter, pouring sun tea into tall glasses filled with ice. She wore cropped pants and a pink T-shirt, was barefoot and had a country station playing on the radio.