Susan's Summer (17 page)

“So much for a relaxing vacation,” I said to Mae as we got ready. We were going out with Teegan, hanging out for the first ti
me
somewhere other than
at
his property or the Arsenals
’
.

“Did you sleep through the night for once?” she asked, busily applying makeup. We had already taken turns showering and she had put on a bright yellow sundress, as if to remind the Marchells that they wouldn’t be freezing her into oblivion. I had gone for a light green summer dress, highlighting my green eyes, and a pile of colorful bangles on my wrists.

“Yeah,” I said carefully. That hadn’t happened in a while. I sighed, fighting against the feeling that I was somehow betraying Holt by not being miserable. Wait, I wasn’t miserable? I paused in my bangle arranging. I would have to think about that.

I hadn’t told Mae about the kiss. Somehow, the stillness of the night felt like a lifetime away, even if it had only just happened. I also wasn’t willing to admit that my newfound calm had anything whatsoever to do with Seth.

“Will Terry be there?” Mae asked.

I shrugged.
“I don’t know. I hope not, but they’re usually together.” I had noticed that whenever I tried to hang out with Teegan, Terry showed up. He never looked happy about it, so I had to wonder why she was babysitting him.

“That girl’s crazy,” said Mae with certainty.

“Glad we agree,” I said. Terry was the sort of girl who made me nervous. She was power hungry and smart and she totally lacked any moral compass. The only thing she could do was damage.

My phone buzzed and I glanced at it. “It’s Teegan,” I said, frowning. “He wants us to meet him at that same bar where we went the first night.”

“The bar where those two guys tried to assault us and you got knocked out?”

“Yeah, Mae. Thanks for the recap!”

Mae’s eyebrows shot in the air. “That’s a terrible idea. We can’t go back there. What if those two guys are there?”

“They won’t remember us anyway,” I said, feeling a little perverse. “I want to have some fun. It’s nice here, but it’s also a little boring. It will just be a couple of drinks.”

My friend shook her head. “I don’t like it. What if Teegan leaves us there alone?”

“He wouldn’t do that,” I argued. “Even if Terry is nuts, he’s a good guy. Besides, then we won’t have to see Terry. Come on! Let’s have a little fun. We haven’t done anything for the last two weeks!”

“Yeah, and look at how happy we’ve been,” Mae muttered.

We didn’t see Seth or Katie before we left. Katie was too young to go anyway, and Seth had disappeared again. My guess was that he didn’t want to see us leaving to hang out with Teegan. He had been invited to go with us, but it had obviously been just a courtesy. Teegan and Seth didn’t like each other, and the fact that we liked both of them wasn’t going to change that.

My phone rang.

“I’m popular today,” I muttered. Most of my friends had dropped me in the past few months. Or I had dropped them, I wasn’t always entirely sure which. I glanced at the caller ID and my throat went dry.

It was Mrs. Roth.

Mae, sensing my change in mood, stared at me wide-eyed as I fumbled to answer the phone.

“Hello,” I said.

“Susan?” Mrs. Roth’s voice sounded more steady than I remembered it from the last time I had seen her.

“Hi, Mrs. Roth,” I said, getting up and walking away from Mae so that our conversation could be private. I didn’t know what to say or how to react to all the emotions churning inside me. This was the first time Mrs. Roth had contacted me since her oldest son had died.

“How are you?” she asked.

“I’m good,” I said slowly. It was mostly true; staying at the Arsenals’ place had been rejuvenating. I still wanted to find out who I was supposed to marry, but that would come in good time.

“How are you?” I asked. I wasn’t sure if that was the right thing to say, given that any person who had lost a child would never be the same. But I didn’t know what else to do.

“I’m getting by,” she said. Her voice sounded honest, as if she had thought about it and knew what she needed to do. “I take it one day at a time. Sometimes one moment. Sometimes I miss him so much I can’t see.”

My eyes blurred with tears. Having the pain I have felt articulated by someone else almost undid me.

“I wanted to check in,” said Mrs. Roth. “I know I’ve been absent lately.” She let that hang there for a few minutes, then said, “But I heard about what you’re doing this summer and I wanted to check in.”

I had sent Mrs. Roth a letter about my crazy idea for a summer vacation, but I hadn’t heard anything back, so I hadn’t known if she had even read it. It sounded like she had.

“What do you think?” I asked.

“I think it’s a fabulous idea.” She didn’t sound overjoyed, but she also didn’t sound desperately sad. “Holt would have approved.”

“You can say his name?” I asked softly. I had been saying his name myself lately, but I had been out in the world. Mrs. Roth had closed herself off almost completely.

“Only recently,” she said. “I don’t want him to think his death has ruined my life. He wouldn’t want that for me. Or you.”

My grief felt dwarfed compared to hers. She had lost her own oldest child.

“What would he want for us?” I asked, still speaking quietly. Talking about this was hard, almost impossible, but at the same time I felt like spring was starting to come, like the sun was shining for the first time in a long time.

“I think he would want us to try and be happy. And not the cookie
cutter kind of happy that we’re supposed to be, but belly laugh whatever makes us tick jump up and down happy, however that might manifest itself. I think that’s why he did what he did in the first place.”

I was stunned to hear her say it. She had articulated exactly what I had been thinking, without letting myself really face it. Over and over I had wondered why he had done what he did with Autumn, why he hadn’t just left well enough alone. And here was the answer: Holt had wanted to know happiness, and for him that had been Autumn.

“I don’t know how to do that,” I said. “I wonder how Holt knew.”

“It was just instinctive to him. It never occurred to him to compromise. Well, maybe when he found out how many people could get hurt he had a few second thoughts, because he never wanted to hurt anyone, he just loved.”

I found myself nodding, still clutching the phone to my ear.

“So, you support what I’m doing?”

“I’m not sure,” said Mrs. Roth. “I don’t not support it. Telling my children not to follow their hearts didn’t work. I want you to do whatever you need to do to find fulfillment and peace. Of course, if your parents didn’t betroth you to a gentleman with his own Rose, the betrothal would be something like binding. If they betrothed you to someone with a Rose, everything is up in the air, and I think your parents would agree. But you have to be careful. A lot of time has passed, and I’m not sure what has changed, but this young man should have come forward by now.”

She had named the one thing that kept bothering me, too. Where was he?

“The Arsenals . . .” she mused. “Have they said anything about their father?”

When their father had first closed his court, it had been the great topic of conversation among the Fairies. Now no one even bothered to wonder what had happened. They just assumed he had been a crazy old man consumed with grief.

“They said he was in Europe,” I told her. I tried to keep the skepticism out of my voice. It wasn’t until just now that I realized how much I did not believe that story.

“Ah, I see,” Mrs. Roth said. “Well, the Arsenal King was a dear friend of mine. You should let Seth know that, and tell him that wherever his father is, he’s in good hands.”

I didn’t know what that meant, but Mrs. Roth started to wrap up the call.

“Wait, have you heard from Logan?” I asked. I had wondered about Holt’s younger brother ever since he disappeared.

Mrs. Roth didn’t say anything for so long I was afraid she had hung up. “No, I haven’t. I don’t know what he thinks he’s doing, but he should be home with his family.” Her voice shook with unexpressed emotion.

Mrs. Roth had to go. She had things to do. She wished me luck on my hunt for a husband, then hung up.

I told Mae everything.

“If you’re betrothed to someone with a Rose, which seems unlikely, but let’s just say, then he must know about it. Why hasn’t he come forward?”

I shook my head. “Maybe he’s in love with someone else.”

“Not possible,” said Mae, shaking her head emphatically. “If a guy sees you he loves you. It’s that simple.”

“Maybe he hasn’t seen me,” I laughed. “And I don’t think it’s that simple at all, but I appreciate your saying so.”

Mae grinned. “Any time.”

“How are you feeling about talking with her after all this time?” she asked. I knew she was worried I’d have another breakdown, continuing the series that had followed steadily since Holt’s death, but I actually felt better than I had in a long time.

“I’m fine,” I reassured her. “It’s something about this place, or. . . .”

“It’s okay to move on, you know,” said Mae. “I mean, Holt would want you to be happy and so would your parents.”

I didn’t know what to say. I knew he would want me to be happy. I really did. What no one understood was that I had always pictured happy as having him in my life.

I guess I had to get used to a new reality. But my fear was deeper than that. If all the people I loved most died, how could I keep loving, knowing the end result? It didn’t seem fair.

Now that I had spent so much time on the phone we were late, so we finished getting ready quickly.

“Is Teegan picking us up, or what?” Mae asked.

“I’m texting him and we’re meeting him at the end of the driveway,” I told her.

Mae choked. “Are you kidding me? I’m not walking that dirt path in these heels. Tell him to swallow his pride and his fear of Seth and come pick us up. Me specifically.”

“You think I should accuse him of being afraid of Seth? I doubt that will go over well,” I said dryly.

Mae grinned. “I’ll accuse him then. That should stir things up.”

Outside, darkness had fallen. The night air smelled sweet, filled with the smells of summer, and when I looked up I saw a million stars winking overhead.

“It’s one of those beautiful summer nights,” Mae sighed happily. “I just love this.”

Teegan pulled up a few minutes later, hopped out of his car, and grinned. “Hey,” he said. “How’s everything?”

“Oh, good,” said Mae, getting into the back seat before I could protest. I glared at her but she ignored me.

“How are you?” Teegan asked me. He glanced at the house and I was instantly irritated.

“Are you afraid of Seth?” I asked as he held the door open for me.

Teegan raised his eyebrows. “Seth and I have always been polite to each other. I just don’t agree with how he handles Arsenal.”

“Hum,” said Mae, sitting forward to stick her head between the seats. “I don’t want to hear a lot of arguing tonight. I want to have fun!”

Okay, she was right. This wasn’t a time to argue, it was a time to have fun. It was my first night off the property since we had gotten to Arsenal.

“You look deep in thought,” said Teegan, laughing. I was staring out the window, thinking about the Marchells.

“Just thinking about your Winter Court.”

Teegan raised his eyebrows. “The Marchells have their own way of doing things, that’s for sure.”

I nodded. “That’s one way of putting it.”

“So, which bar are we going to?” Mae asked.

Teegan laughed again. “You think there’s more than one?”

“Oh, that’s right,” said Mae grumpily. “We’re in the middle of nowhere.”

“It’s a lot like Castleton,” I said. “Without all the pastel colors. Besides, you’re the one
who
insisted on staying.”

“Yeah, and the massive estate. Isn’t the Roths’ place right in the middle of town?”

“Yeah,” I said. “That’s how they like it.” Summers in Castleton were idyllic. I hadn’t realized how much so until they were over, but I was learning that that’s usually how it goes.

“Sooo, what’s up with Terry?” I asked. I had been waiting to get Teegan alone so I could ask. Now that she wasn’t around I was going to take advantage.

Teegan smiled. “She’s a piece of work, huh?”

“I mean, you could call her that. You could also call her a she-devil and be about as accurate.”

Teegan’s eyes widened. “I don’t think she’s as bad as all that.”

“You’re right,” said Mae. “She’s much be worse.” She shifted in the back seat so she could see us better, and I was glad of her support. Teegan honestly didn’t seem to understand what a head case that girl was.

Teegan shook his head. “I think she comes off as being harsher than she is.”

Neither Mae nor I said anything. Terry was the kind of girl who was nice to her own—the Marchells—and no one else.

“She wanted to come tonight, but I talked her out of it,” said Teegan. “Proud?” At least he realized we didn’t get along. Too bad he hadn’t seen what she did the morning I met her.

“She what?” Mae asked. “She wanted to hang out with us?”

“Naw, I think she wanted to quiz you about Holt,” said Teegan, glancing sideways at me.

“Of course she did.”

As expected, we went back to the same bar Seth had rescued us from. It felt like that had been ages ago, even though it had only been a couple of weeks. I sighed. When we had been there the last time I had already had several drinks, but now that I saw the place sober, I wondered why I had ever thought going inside with just Mae was a good idea. It looked more like a large shack with a couple of neon signs, one reading “Open,” hanging loosely from the front wall. The front “yard” was gravel, and most of the parking spaces were taken up with motorcycles. There were weeds growing around the building and the roof was lopsided.

“Is this really the only place around?” Mae asked skeptically.

“Hey, you were here before,” said Teegan, pulling into a parking space far away from the motorcycles.

“Yeah, I know,” said Mae. “And look how that turned out.”

“You found your way to Arsenal,” Teegan said. Then, in a more serious tone, he turned to me and asked, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Of course,” I said. “We’re Fairies, remember? Nothing to fear.”

“I don’t think that should be our solution to everything,” said Mae. “We can’t just use our powers to get out of stuff. Seth didn’t use his, he just kicked everyone’s ass.”

Teegan muttered something I couldn’t hear, but I said, “We haven’t been out. My plan was to spend the whole summer going out and now the best I can do is go to the Marchells’ for a weird party? No offense,” I said, when Teegan made a noise of protest.

“It wasn’t that bad, was it?” he asked with concern. I felt bad for saying it had been weird, but it had been weird. There was something going on with the Marchells, and it went beyond that strange Cressa telling me that I should get out while I still could. There was more under the surface, both at Arsenal and at the Marchells’ place, than anyone was letting on; somehow Mae and I had stumbled into what was surely a very old conflict. I wasn’t sure why I was in the middle, but I felt like I was. If I weren’t part of it, would Cressa have said anything to me in the first place? Wouldn’t she just leave me alone?

As it turned out, not only was I worried about my attraction to Seth, I was also worried about the dire warnings I had rec
ei
ved to get out of Arsenal. What had convinced me to stay was that since the night of the party
,
when Cressa told me to run
,
nothing else had happened. There
had been
no more threats and no more notes, so maybe whoever had sent them in the first place
had
realized
that
I wasn’t going to back down
. Or maybe
it had all been a really bad joke to begin with. I hoped to never find out.

“Let’s go,” I said, pushing my car door open and getting out before anyone could argue with me or talk me out of it. “It’s going to be fun.”

“You and I have very different ideas of fun,” Mae muttered. “If those guys are there they better watch out. I might beat them up.”

I smiled at her. Mae wasn’t big enough to beat up a monkey, let alone a full grown man.

I could hear music blaring from inside the bar and my smile got even wider. “This is going to be awesome. Just like old times.”

“When you were ever in a dive bar before this summer?” Mae asked, narrowing her eyes.

I shrugged. “We went to bars in Maine.”

“Yeah, fancy ones,” said Mae.

The first thing I realized when we walked in was that something was wrong. Well, maybe not wrong, but definitely out of place. I looked around, expecting to see Terry. There was a hostile fairy presence, that much I was sure of, and I was curious to see who it was. But no one looked back at me.

The bar was full of people, mostly regulars by the look of it
, t
he same scraggly beards and leather that I had seen the last time
we were
there
. T
he wood floor was
a
shade
dirtier than it had been, if that was possible. When I didn’t see anyone I recognized from that first night I exhaled a long breath. Until that moment I hadn’t realized how badly I wanted to avoid running into anyone who had seen me behave so embarrassingly, even the waitress, who was probably used to it.

“Where are we sitting?” Mae asked, standing at my elbow. From the look on her face she hadn’t felt anything out of the ordinary when we walked in. That made sense, because of the three of us, I was the strongest. My parents were both almost royal, whereas both Mae’s and Teegan’s parents were merely members of the courts.

“Let’s sit at the bar,” I said. “Better view.” I didn’t want to tell Mae I wanted to see and not be seen.

“Okay,” said Mae. “As long as I don’t ha
v
e to touch it.”

I marched over to the bar, where we had the good luck of finding three seats next to each other. Teegan sat on the side closest to the rest of the bar while I sat on the end. I continued to look around as unobtrusively as I could, trying to find the fairy who was generating the hostile vibe. The feeling was growing stronger and more uncomfortable, and a fairy that strong should have been obvious. Then again, maybe not, because someone with that much power would also be strong enough to mask his or her identity.

“Do you feel that?” I asked Teegan as Mae went to order drinks for all of us, helped along by the fake IDs we’d made for the summer trip. I shifted uncomfortably
,
worry making me fidget.

Teegan quirked his face. “I thought I felt something strange, but I decided I must have been imagining it. There are no strong Fairies around here that aren’t Arsenal or Marchell.”

A woman with a drink in her hand and a very low cut top stopped and said, “Honey, is he taken?”

“Who?”

“What do you mean ‘who?’ The gorgeous man you have drooling over you. If you don’t want him I can help you out with that.” She winked at Teegan, who blushed.

“He’s taken,” I said, sliding closer to him on the chair and pulling his arm over my shoulder. Teegan played along, taking my other hand in his. I was blushing, and I knew that if Mae came back right now it would confirm every suspicion she had about us.

“Too bad,” said the woman. “Let me know if that changes.” With that she walked away, swaying her hips.

Just then, through the haze of people and smoke, I saw a head turn. The dark hair looked vaguely familiar, and before I knew what I was doing I had jumped to my feet.

“Where are you going?” Mae asked, sitting back down. “We just got our drinks.” She waved her hands to take in the three beers the bartender had just put in front of us, but I was so lost in the thought of catching the black-haired woman that I stared at the drinks stupidly for a second as if I didn’t know what they were. The dark-haired woman reminded me of the woman I had seen running through the woods, and I was determined to find out if it was the same person.

“I’ll be right back,” I said, darting away before anyone could argue with me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Teegan shake his head at Mae as if he was already used to my odd behavior.

I rushed past people, some muttering curses at the pretty girl who wasn’t watching where she was going. Unlike last time, Mae and I had made more of an effort to dress for the occasion. I had chosen my shortest, tightest white dress, but the downside to looking hot was that at the moment I was getting a lot of unwanted attention, and it was slowing me down.

“Hey, baby, come over here,” I heard a guy say. “Nice dress.”

“And shoes!” another guy called out, then laughed uproariously at his own joke.

I pushed past the men, their breath thick with alcohol. Luckily they let me go; we didn’t need another repeat of last time. The back door was still swinging shut when I reached it and dashed through.

“Wait!” I called, but it was too late. She had laid her trap well. Before I could react she slapped her forearm into my windpipe and slammed me against the back of the building. My head slammed backwards and dark spots appeared before my eyes. I was under attack.