SVH12-When Love Dies (6 page)

Suddenly Steven jerked his head forward and kissed Cara hard on the lips. But he felt nothing. Just cold inside. Cold and dead.

Cara stirred eagerly in his arms. "Oh, Steve," she murmured. "I think this is going to be the nicest party I ever had."

Jessica smirked as she bounced down on Elizabeth's bed. It was past one, and she'd just returned from Cara's party. "I hate to say I told you so. Steve didn't need much encouraging. He was all over Cara!"

Elizabeth sat up and blinked. She'd just been dozing off when Jessica came barging in. "I don't believe it," she said.

"Ask Lila. She was there. She saw the way Steve was acting." Jessica smiled as she began peeling off her pantyhose. "I don't think we need to worry about Steve mourning over Tricia anymore. He's probably forgotten her name by now."

Elizabeth still couldn't quite believe it. What could have happened to make Steven change

his mind about Cara so quickly? Knowing Jessica and her tricks, it could have been anything.

"Do you think it's serious?" she asked.

Jessica's smile broadened. "I hope so. Steve didn't even come home with me. He and Cara must be off in some cozy place right this minute."

"Come on, Jess, you can't mean it. Cara's all wrong for Steve."

"What do you have against Cara?" Jessica demanded. "She's cute, and she's popular--and she's even on the cheering squad."

"Well, if she's on the cheering squad than she must be the perfect girl," Elizabeth commented dryly.

"Who cares about perfect? Being fun is what counts with guys. Steve deserves to have some fun after being around Miss Goody-Goody Martin for so long."

Sighing, Elizabeth sank back on her pillow. "I just hope Steve knows what he's doing."

It was almost two o'clock in the morning by the time Steven arrived home. He and Cara had gone out for a pizza, and then she'd insisted they drive around for a while. He got the feeling she was more interested in being seen with him than actually being with him.

He was tired, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. He headed for the kitchen. Maybe a cup of hot cocoa would make him feel better.

He'd really tried to have a good time, but it was no use, he thought as he got out the cocoa powder. The more he tried to stop thinking about Tricia, the worse it got. She was on his mind constantly. He couldn't forget her any more than he could forget there was a sun in the sky.

Mr. Wakefield came downstairs in his bathrobe as Steven was heating the cocoa.

"Thought I heard someone rattling around down here," he said. "Hey, is there enough for two?"

Steven looked up. "Sure, Dad."

"I remember when you were little your mother always made you hot cocoa when you were upset about something."

Steven forced a weak smile. "The problems I had then seem so small compared to now."

Mr. Wakefield placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "Want to tell me about it?"

Steven felt a rush of warmth toward his father. There was a kinship between them that went much deeper than physical likeness. But Steven was certain this was one time when even his father couldn't help.

Steven shrugged as he poured the cocoa into cups. "There isn't much to tell. Tricia wants out. It's as simple as that."

"I know how tough this is for you, Steve."

Steven swallowed, unable to speak. There was

a huge lump in his throat. Finally he said, "I'll be OK, Dad. I just need time, I guess."

Mr. Wakefield took the cup Steven held out to him and sat down to drink his cocoa. "How did it go at the party tonight?"

Steven smiled ruefully. "It wasn't exactly what I expected, let's put it that way."

Cara's words played over and over inside his mind--Tricia's got a new boyfriend. Each time it was like a knife digging into his heart.

His father nodded sympathetically. "I think I get the picture. Just one word of advice: I know your sister means well, but don't let her push you into anything you're not ready for, OK?"

"OK, Dad."

There was no sense trying to explain how he was feeling. He hardly understood it himself. What difference did it make if he went on dating Cara? No matter what he did, he'd never get over Tricia.

Chapter Seven

On Monday Elizabeth was on her way to the cafeteria to meet Todd for lunch when she passed Tricia, sitting alone on the lawn. She was staring off into space, the sandwich in her hand untouched. She looked so miserable that Elizabeth couldn't help feeling sorry for her, despite the way she'd treated Steven.

On impulse, Elizabeth went over and sat down beside her. "Tricia," she blurted out, "what's going on? Why did you run away from me at the hospital?"

Tricia's cheeks flooded with color, and she dropped her gaze. "I'm sorry, Liz. It was rude of me, I know. I--I just didn't feel like talking

to anyone right then. I was . . . visiting someone. A friend of mine. I was pretty upset."

"Is your friend really sick?"

The corners of Tricia's mouth twisted upward in a brief, sad smile. "I guess you could say that."

"Maybe I've met her," Elizabeth said. "I just started working as a candy striper, but I know a lot of the patients. What room is she in?"

"You wouldn't know her. S-she checked out," Tricia stammered.

"She must be feeling better then," Elizabeth said. "That's great."

Tricia shrugged. "It's one of those in-and-out things. You know, in for a couple of days of treatment, then out again."

Elizabeth nodded sympathetically. "What's wrong with her?"

"She told me, but I can't remember. One of those unpronounceable things no one's ever heard of."

"Well, I hope it's not too serious."

Abruptly Tricia changed the subject. "Do you want my sandwich, Liz? I'm not hungry."

Elizabeth shook her head. "I'm meeting Todd for lunch. Want to join us?"

"Thanks," Tricia said, "but I--I have some studying to catch up on."

Elizabeth was close to saying something about Steven, but she decided against it. Tricia had been friendly, but it was obvious she preferred

to be alone. Whatever was bothering her, it was something too deep and private to share. Her eyes were bloodshot, and she looked thin, too, as if she hadn't been getting enough to eat. At that moment Tricia reminded Elizabeth of a very fragile china figurine.

Wishing there was something more she could do, but not knowing what, Elizabeth stood up and brushed loose bits of grass from her jeans. "Well, I guess I'd better get going. Todd will wonder what happened to me."

Just as Elizabeth was saying goodbye, Cara and Jessica walked up. They saw Tricia and exchanged knowing looks.

"Hi, Liz," Cara greeted cheerily, ignoring Tricia. "Gee, it was too bad you couldn't make it to my party. It was a real blast."

"Todd and I had something else to do," Elizabeth said stiffly. "You should have let us know sooner."

"Well, it was one of those spur-of-the-moment things," Cara replied with a sparkling little laugh. "I don't know when I've had so much fun! I'll bet you didn't know what a fantastic dancer your brother is, Liz."

Elizabeth glanced quickly at Tricia, then back up at Cara. Tricia pretended not to have heard, but it was obvious she had. Burning red flags of humiliation. scorched her pale cheeks.

"I guess there's a lot I don't know about

Steve," Elizabeth said, trying to keep her voice even.

Cara giggled, tossing a triumphant look in Tricia's direction. "I'll bet he didn't tell you he's taking me to one of his college parties next weekend," she said.

"No, he didn't," Elizabeth said softly.

"You know Steve," Jessica put in. "Always so darn secretive about his love life."

Love life! Elizabeth thought. Since when had Cara become a part of Steve's love life? Suddenly furious, she commented coldly, "Maybe he's being secretive because he has something to be ashamed of!"

She brushed past angrily, leaving them to gape after her in astonishment. Elizabeth rarely lost her temper, but when she did, even Jessica knew enough to step out of the way.

"I can't imagine what's gotten into her," Elizabeth heard her sister muttering to Cara as she stalked off.

Elizabeth cast a last glance over her shoulder at Tricia. Poor Tricia! She was sitting still as a statue, a smile frozen on her lips. But her eyes betrayed the emotion she was feeling. They were huge and sad, glittering with tears. What was she thinking? Elizabeth wondered.

It's better this way, Tricia repeated to herself, as she'd been doing all week. Better for Steve that he's found someone else.

But she couldn't stop the cold feeling in her chest, as if an icicle lay wedged alongside her heart. She couldn't seem to stop the tears either. They dripped silently onto the backs of her hands, clasped tightly in her lap. The world that had been so unbearably sharp a moment before had blurred, and the voices around her faded to a distant buzzing.

The drugs she was taking sometimes made her sick to her stomach, but she wasn't sick now, just tired and very, very cold. She shivered in the warm sunlight, hugging her arms. She felt so alone, so desperately alone. If only Steve could be with me, she cried to herself. If only I could feel his strong arms around me just one more time, I could be warm again.

She knew these were dangerous thoughts, but she couldn't seem to stop them, just as she'd been unable to stop her tears. Images of Steven flashed into her mind. She saw them running along the beach, the wind whipping through their hair. They had run until they were out of breath, then tumbled together onto the sand. She thought of him arriving at the house to pick her up on their first date, greeting her father courteously even though he was so drunk he could hardly stand up. Tricia closed her eyes, remembering how it felt the first time Steven kissed her, cupping her face with one hand as he lightly ran a thumb along her cheek. She'd been trembling so hard she was sure she

wouldn't be able to stand up when it was all over.

Steve! Tricia's heart cried out his name, though no sound escaped her lips. I can't bear to lose you! Without you, I'm already dead! It would be so simple to let him know how she felt. There was a pay phone right outside the cafeteria. As simple as slipping a dime in the coin slot and dialing his number. She could tell him everything. Maybe it wasn't too late. She could tell him she still loved him.

No! Tricia bit down so hard on her lip she could taste blood. She had to stop thinking this way! It was selfish and cruel to want to make Steven suffer as much as she was suffering. Let him go, the voice of reason whispered in her head. If you love him, let him go.

Yes, it was better this way. She watched Cara and Jessica stroll off, their heads bent together in whispered conversation. No doubt they were talking about Steven, making plans. Next weekend Cara and Steven would go to the party, and maybe they were going out this coming weekend too. He would forget about her. That was the way it should be. He would be happy again, and soon it wouldn't matter to her either, because in a few months she would be gone.

Chapter Eight

"Something strange is going on," Elizabeth said as she set down her tray beside Todd at the cafeteria table.

Todd looked up from his hamburger. He swallowed and said, "That sounds like the opening line of a mystery novel." His brown eyes sparkled with mischief. "Any clues so far, Sherlock?"

"Come on, Todd, I'm serious," Elizabeth answered as she sat down, but she couldn't resist a small smile. Todd was such a kidder. His sense of humor was one of the things she loved best about him--plus about six feet of muscle topped by wavy brown hair and a brilliant white smile. "It's this thing with Steve and Tricia.

Steve told me it was Tricia who wanted to break up, but the way she's acting you'd think it was the other way around. I just know she's still in love with him. I can feel it, even though she doesn't say so."

"You're too sensitive for your own good," Todd said, tweaking the end of her nose. Then he grew sober. "I know what you mean, though. I have study hall with Tricia, but I don't think she's too interested in studying these days."

"How do you know?"

"I happened to look over her shoulder this morning as I was walking past. She was just staring at this picture of Steve she had tucked inside her binder. It kind of got to me. It was the way she was looking at it more than anything. Like"--he lowered his voice--"it's hard to describe, but sort of like Steve was gone or something. Isn't that weird?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "No. I felt that way, too. Todd, what do you think is happening? I know it's none of my business, but I can't help feeling involved. Steve's my brother, and I really like Tricia. It just doesn't seem right, their being apart if they still love each other."

"I agree with you," Todd said. "But what can we do about it? They'd only resent it if we tried to butt in."

Elizabeth sighed. "I'm afraid Jessica's already taken care of that. She's got Steve fixed up with Cara."

Todd dropped his fork. "Cara Walker? You've got to be kidding! Poor Steve! You'd better tell him to watch what he says around her. It could end up in the National Enquirer."

"I don't think Steve really likes Cara. He's probably only going out with her to make Tricia jealous." Elizabeth picked listlessly at her food. At least she hoped Steven wasn't falling for Cara.

"Have you tried talking to him about it?" Todd asked.

She nodded. "He thinks Tricia has another boyfriend, but I'm not so sure. Why would she be so miserable if she had someone else?"

"You're right. I don't buy it either. Somehow I can't imagine Tricia with anyone but Steve. They seemed so perfect together."

"Like us, you mean?" Elizabeth fed Todd a french fry off her plate, yanking her hand away with an outraged giggle when he began nibbling her fingers.

Todd laughed. "Face it. Nobody is like us. If we were any crazier about each other, they'd have to send out the little men in the white coats."

"You're so romantic, Todd."

Todd kissed her lightly. His lips were a delicious combination of sweet and salty. Elizabeth felt warm all over. No matter how many times he'd kissed her, it always affected her this way. As if he were kissing her for the very first time. Maybe that was why she was so concerned about