Swan Song (Book Three of the Icarus Trilogy) (38 page)

That’s when Ryan regained consciousness in the briefing room.  He was still breathing hard, trying to grasp the meaning of the dream, when he saw his surrogate father staring at him.  There was no way that Ryan could tell Carver about this dream, it was too much; it clearly held some significance.  Jenkins took a few more deep breaths and looked at the old Crow.

“Panic attack, old man.  Just.... I think you understand,” Ryan said as he rose from his seat on shaky legs.  Carver looked at him with concern, but then comprehension filled his gaze.

“I guess I can understand.  It’s .... awful.  No other way to say it,” Carver said as he looked down at his feet.  It was odd to think that Thomas was finally gone.  He wasn’t coming back. 

Ryan Jenkins was no longer living in Tom’s shadow.

“There are plenty of ways to say it, John,” Ryan said as he started to walk out of the room.  He turned at the doorway and looked back at his surrogate father.  Ryan would tell him later, but this wasn’t the time.  “Can I .... can I be alone for a bit?  I need to .... come to terms with this,” Ryan said, pausing over the words.  Carver merely grunted and shrugged.

“I think we all do.  Take your time, kid,” Carver said as he started to stare into space.  Ryan gave an awkward smile before heading out of the briefing room.  The central hub was a ghost town; almost all of the agents were mourning in their own way.  As Ryan walked through the hub and past crying civilians, he realized there was only one place where he could truly be alone.

The messiah figure walked into Tom’s room and breathed in the musty air.  Thomas had a huge bookcase filled with all kinds of texts; relics from his career.  Ryan walked over to the bookcase and ran his fingers along the spines, laughing at the old teacher’s sentimentality.  He knew that even at the beginning of Thomas’ career that most school systems had completely moved over to digital copies and readers.  This was just his personal collection.

Ryan walked over to the former leader’s desk.  It was usually a cluttered thing, but as Jenkins approached the oak desk he noticed that there was just a manila folder in the center.  He walked over to Thomas’ chair and then placed his finger on the folder.  Atlas had been a man of meanings, and this was no exception.  Whatever was inside that folder was meant to be found; meant to be discovered after Thomas Xavier was no longer living.

Ryan opened the folder and leaned over the desk to see what the teacher had written.  As he did he realized what Thomas had intended and why he had written these notes on these pieces of paper.  It wasn’t a will; Thomas had nothing physical to leave to anybody.

But it was his last testament.

-

Elizabeth burst into her childhood home and started to pace around the stairwell.  She was furious, but the young woman was already starting to fall into her grief and her sense of loss.  Elizabeth wanted to be angry at James for his weakness in character; she wanted to pelt the man with her fists and hurt just like he had hurt her.

But as she sat down on the bottom step, she sank into her sorrow and wanted James to wrap his arms around her and tell her everything was alright.

The young woman sobbed quietly on the steps as her world crashed around her.  It seemed like she had finally moved on and that she was living a life of happiness, even in this world of misery, but it was all just a lie.  It was all just a little fantasy that she had created for herself.  There was only pain for her, only the sense of grief that came with love lost and a broken family.

Elizabeth sniffed loudly and wiped the tears away from her eyes.  She wouldn't dissolve like this; not right now.  She had plenty cause to be angry instead, and so the young woman decided to focus on that.  Liz picked herself up and walked into the kitchen, desperate to talk to someone, but all she found was her mother sitting at the kitchen table, reading the same page yet again.

It was too much for Elizabeth Kane.

"Mom, why?" she asked the beautiful woman wallowing in her own misery.  Deborah looked up at her daughter and seemed to come back to reality for just a moment.

"Liz?  What?  What do you mean, 'why?'" Deborah asked as she closed the romance novel and set her finger between the pages.

"That, mom.  Why the
hell
do you keep reading that damn page?  What's so fucking important about it that you can't even pay attention to your own daughter?  Why is it that you can't even be bothered by the fact that your husband stays here for a couple of hours and then leaves again?  What is so GODDAMNED important about that page?!" Elizabeth screamed as stormed over to her mother and ripped the paperback from the woman's hands.  Deborah resisted for a moment, but after a brief struggle Elizabeth held it in her hands, holding it over her mother like it was damning evidence.

"Why don't you even answer me when I ask these questions?  All of us are
hurting
, Mom.  We're all dealing with ... Charlotte in our own ways.  I don't know what Dad is doing, but I'm trying to live my life instead of hiding myself away in our kitchen" she shouted, punctuating each statement with a flourish of the book in her hand.  "Hell, there's a whole
world
of people out there living with losses like that.  There's a whole world of people trying to change their lives," Elizabeth said as she grabbed the nearby remote on the counter and turned on the television in the living room.  The cable news burst onto the screen, displaying a riot, but Elizabeth had turned in on more for effect than anything.

"Lizzie...." Deborah started, but she looked back at the kitchen table.  "I know, I know that we're all hurting, but..."

"Fine, Mom, I'll see for myself," Elizabeth said as she started to scan down the page of the novel  The pages were old and brittle and the type was faded, but the young woman could see it just fine.  It was hard to tell what Deborah Kane obsessed over at the beginning, it was standard fare describing the protagonist's childhood, but then Elizabeth found the line that had stopped the older woman in her tracks.

They had a normal life in the city.  They would go out for dinner every once in a while, but it was usually just the four of them in the kitchen.  Just one, big, happy family.

The young woman saw the line that had broken Deborah Kane's world.  Elizabeth looked up from the worried page and saw her mother looking at her, tears streaming down the aging cheeks.

"Honey, I'm sorry," Deborah started, but Elizabeth crossed the room and took her mother in her arms, sobbing as she fully gave herself to her grief.

"Oh... mom," she said, tears making her mother's hair wet, but the older woman squeezed her daughter and rubbed her hand along Elizabeth's back.

"I just.... I couldn't .... I tried," Deborah said, but Elizabeth just continued to sob into her mother's neck.

"I know, Mom.  I know.  I miss her so much," Elizabeth said as she recalled her sister's pretty face and the compassion she had always shown for everyone else.  That such a woman was gone from the world was enough of a tragedy, but she was being selfish.  Elizabeth felt a whole different kind of pain.

"I do, too, Lizzie.  I wish that she was back here; I wish she had never left.  But that's life, honey," Deborah said as she backed away from her daughter's embrace.  "I was weak, I couldn't just move on from her memory, but seeing you, now," she said as she sniffed and dragged her finger underneath her eye to wipe away the tears still forming.  "I need to burn that damn book," she said before laughing weakly.  Elizabeth smiled a little before sinking back to her own problems.

"I was weak, too.  I thought getting a boyfriend...." she said, which caused the older woman to furrow her brow.

"Boyfriend?" she asked, which caused Elizabeth to smile sadly. Of course she hadn't noticed.

"It doesn't matter anymore, it's ... over, now," she said, trying to spare her mother the details.  When she recovered more she might actually talk to her mother about how much James had meant to her, but she wanted to revel in this reconnection for now.

"Wait, Dad?" Elizabeth asked as she noticed a familiar-looking man on the television behind her mother.  The two Kane women turned and approached the television as they watched Charles Kane yelling and pumping his fist in the air, shouting about justice.  They read the text scrolling on the bottom of the screen and were confused.

Bloody Riot After Atlas Execution
.

And as they watched the screen they almost couldn't comprehend what was happening.  One moment Charles Kane and his dissidents were shouting towards the camera and making violent gestures, and the next moment nervous EOSF officers opened fire onto the civilians.  The two Kane women watched as their husband and father was riddled with bullets, blood spraying out of his chest and neck.  They watched as Charles Kane was murdered by the corrupt EOSF.

And that's when Elizabeth Kane's mind shattered.

-

Ryan looked out on his soldiers; his believers, Atlas' wayward children.  He knew that he was their only hope, even if it was misplaced.  Even though Ryan Jenkins had been a thief, a suicidal soldier that had given up everything for oblivion, these men and women and children were looking to him as if he was a savior.

He knew he didn't have any option to be anything else.

"Ladies and Gentlemen.  This is a dark day.  We have survived through so many challenges, we have seen countless people sacrifice themselves for the cause.  We have seen the Fall of Eris and felt the loss of millions of our friends and family. The Earth Freedom Initiative has been there for so many successes and so many failures," Ryan said as he looked over his audience in the briefing room.  It was standing room only, the tables had been shoved off to the sides for those who wanted to sit.  Ryan took great pains to move his gaze over the crowd in order for them to all feel like he was speaking directly to them.

In reality, he was really just speaking for himself.

"I don't think anybody here was prepared for what happened today in Babylon Square.  I don't think anybody was prepared to see our friend and mentor, Thomas Xavier, hanging there on that gallows.  I don't think anybody expected Jasper Montgomery," he said as people started to boo him, but he put out his hand to silence them.  "I don't think anybody expected Jasper Montgomery to dirty his hands with his violence and kill an innocent man in front of billions of people."

"I," Ryan said before pausing and looking down at his feet.  He hadn't expected to be thrust into this position. The weight of all of this was almost more than he could take.  Ryan was reminded of his conversation with Jessica and wondered if there was any way out of this responsibility.  Almost immediately, the vision of Icarus flashed in his mind and caused him to regain his courage; this was the role given to him.

"I know that this was the way it was supposed to happen. Our friends sacrificed themselves in order to show the kind of monster Jasper Montgomery can be.  They might not have intended it, but they had the courage to see it through.  The loss of Thomas Xavier, Eric Jones and Zach...Zachary Goldstein," Jenkins said as he recalled the sly smile of the former merchant.  They all remembered Goldstein, some not-so-fondly, but they all respected his sacrifice.  "These all weigh on us.  But we must move on.  We must carry on their legacy and remove this .... this BASTARD," Jenkins shouted, losing his composure as he considered the head of the Trade Union.  "We
must
remove him from power."

"Though we cannot rush into this strike," Jenkins said as he looked out among his audience.  He could see Carver looking at him with concern, but he knew that the old man would follow him anywhere.  As Ryan turned, he noticed Templeton looking at him with approval.  Darius knew what he was going to say; the messiah figure had already discussed this speech with the other two members of his triumvirate.  They had made sure that they would honor their fallen brethren.

"We're going to take our vengeance, my friends, but it dishonors our heroes to call it that.  It was never about vengeance for Thomas.  It was never about vengeance for Eric or Zachary.  Their part in this resistance has always been about justice.  All three of these men came from ample means; they had no rational incentive to take part in the Earth Freedom Initiative.  They chose this life, this path, because they knew in their hearts that it was the right thing to do.  They threw away their lives and goals to become something more," Ryan Jenkins said as he looked out among his devotees.  These men and women could die tomorrow, but he could see from their stares that it was a sacrifice willingly-given.  Ryan Jenkins would lead them to salvation or glory, but they were on the right side of the war.

"There is something I would like to share with you, even though it was meant for my eyes.  Thomas Xavier, who we all know as Atlas, was a teacher before he joined this movement.  He was a kind soul and a great man.  He had given himself this name because there were no other people to support the movement after the Riots in St. Louis.  Thomas supported the revolution as it grew in strength, but Jasper thought that his loss would mean so much more.  Mr. Montgomery thought that the resistance would fall with this former teacher, but this is not the case.  We all know this.  And as you can see from this final letter, even Thomas knew this.  Forgive me....  forgive me," Ryan said as his voice faltered and the tears pooled around his eyes, "excuse me.  Forgive me if I cannot make it through without emotion.  Just like all of you, Atlas meant a great deal to me.  His words ... you'll see for yourself," he muttered before taking a deep breath and looking to Tom's last testament.