Swear to Howdy (8 page)

I wasn't worried. I was
hungry
. “What do you suppose we should
eat
?”

Then we heard them pull up the drive. Sissy came bounding out of the car carrying packages, Mama came bounding out of the car carrying supper.

“Who's in the mood for barbeque?” Mama cried as she sashayed through the door.

“Me!” I cried back, and tried to look in Sissy's packages. She snatched them back, so I asked her, “Whatcha got there?”

Mama beat her to the answer. “Two new outfits and a pair of shoes besides!”

Dad's eyebrows went up as he took the carryout from Mama. “Two new outfits?”

“It's all right, Jimmy, it's all right. Jenna Mae got an A on the Civil War exam!”

“She… did?” he asked, and his eyes bugged clean out. Sissy had never aced a test in her life.

“See, Jimmy? Jenna's
smart
when she puts her mind to it. She and Amanda Jane got the two highest scores in the whole entire school! Can you believe it?”

Sissy was back from dropping her packages in her room, so Dad said, “Well, congratulations, Jenna. I'm mighty proud of you.”

“Thank you, Daddy.” She helped Mama spread plates around, saying, “And believe me, it was hard! Like, when it'd give you a choice of years, it'd be 1861, 1862, 1863, or 1864. It was pickier than anything.”

“Out of twenty-two pages—”

“Two hundred questions!” Sissy threw in.

“Jenna Mae only missed four,” Mama said, beaming away.

“Only four?” Dad asked.

“Uh-huh,” Sissy said as we all scooted up to the table. She served herself some pulled pork, then passed the carton to Dad, saying, “I'll bet
no
one got those four right.”

Mama scooped out some butter beans and said, “See
what hard work and dedication will get you? Jenna Mae, I am just so proud!”

I looked at Sissy and could feel it in my bones—that girl had cheated.

After supper, I went over and looked in Joey's window. He was lying on his bed with his arms behind his head, staring at the ceiling. I gave our secret tap on his window, and he sprung out of bed and waved me around to the side door.

“I got it figured out, Joey,” I told him when I was safe inside his room. “Amanda Jane and Jenna Mae cheated on that Civil War test.”

“I was in here thinkin' the same thing. I just can't figure out how.”

“Well, I can,” I said, plopping on his bed.

“How?”

So I told him how Mama'd run off the tests upside down and backward, and had to rerun them.

“She took a copy home?”

“No! Mama'd never do that. Sissy and Jenna Mae
stole
one.”

“How?”

“I'm guessin' they went back to the high school and dug one out of the trash.”

“
Them
two? Dig through trash?”

“Better'n flunking, right? Which is what they woulda done if they'd taken it on their own.”

“So all that studyin' they were doin'…?”

“Was them lookin' up answers for a cheat sheet. Amanda Jane was most likely hiding the test in her underwear drawer.”

“Daaaang,” Joey said. “Beats the dirt out of anything I've ever done.”

I shook my head. “We do somethin' and sweat it out for
days
. They do somethin' and get
rewarded
. Mama bought Sissy two new outfits, and a pair of shoes besides!”

“Yeah. And Amanda Jane gets a car.”

“No!”

“I can't believe it either, but Dad said she deserved it, and Mama said it was about time anyhow. They already went through the ads and lined up a test-drive for tomorrow.”

I felt like smacking the wall. “We gotta
do
something about it!”

He sighed. “I ain't riskin' Amanda Jane siccin' no tracker on Smoky.”

“But it ain't fair!”

“Life ain't fair, Rusty-boy,” he said, laying back on his bed with his arms behind his head. “Least that's what Dad always says.”

The next morning, Sissy came out of her room in one of her new outfits. Mama told her she looked snappy. Dad said the same. I wanted to throw grape juice all over it.

Boy! Was I ticked off. And if it had been between just me and Sissy and my parents, I probably would have done
something about it. But it wasn't just us. It was Joey, too. If I told on Sissy, she'd tell on Joey—which would turn out real painful at his end. So I just bit my lip and held my juice.

That afternoon, Sissy got a ride home in Amanda Jane's new car. “Dad took her out of school to buy it!” Joey whispered.

“It's kinda ugly,” I whispered back. It was brown and big, with a bumper half off in back. “And why are they still sittin' in it?” They'd been parked out in front of the Bankses' since they got home, sorta bouncing around inside, giggling.

“ 'Cause she thinks it's the best thing ever. And shoot, you can see why. She got out of school to buy it!”

But when Mama got home that night, she wasn't bouncing around. Or giggling. Her lips were tight, and she barely said a word to anyone as she moved around the kitchen heating up leftover barbeque.

And when we were all sitting down for supper, she looked square at Sissy and said, “I had a very upsetting conversation with Mr. Hickle today.”

“He's upsettin'
period
,” Sissy said, heaping on beans.

“He accused me of providing you and Amanda Jane with a copy of the test.”

Sissy's jaw dropped. “What on earth…? That's the reward I get for studyin' so hard?”

Dad's face clouded over. “That takes a lot of nerve!”

“Amen to that,” Mama said. “But he's aware that I'm
the one who ran off the test, and he's aware that prior to the test you were earning a D in the course.” Sissy started to say something, but Mama put her hand up. “I told him I'd
warned
you—that I'd seen the test and knew it was tough—but that I would never,
ever
, do such a thing.”

Dad was ready to thunder, but he held back. And Sissy's eyes were wide as saucers as she said, “He believed you, didn't he? I'll tell him myself tomorrow, if you want. I'll tell him how you said it was against your morals, and how you…”

From underneath the cushion on her chair, Mama pulled up a folded stack of papers. She said, “
However
, you did know I'd run the test off wrong. You did know there had to be bad copies in the school garbage. And”— she leveled a look at Sissy—“apparently you and Amanda Jane missed the same four questions.”

Sissy just blinked at her.

“So I hope you don't mind putting my worries to rest by answering a few questions.” Mama unfolded the papers and read, “What was the first state to secede from the Union? (a) Virginia, (b) Alabama, (c) Georgia, or (d) South Carolina.”

“Mama, I cannot believe you're doin' this.” Sissy turned to Dad. “Daddy? Do you find this as insultin' as I do? She don't trust me!”

Dad kept his eyes steady on Mama. “Just answer the question, Jenna Mae.”

Sissy huffed and twitched and acted like she'd been
insulted clear to the moon, but didn't come up with an answer.

“Jenna Mae?” Mama asked her.

Sissy looked at her, then straight at me. And boy, if looks could kill, I'd be one dead doggie. I opened my eyes wide and moved my head a little side to side.

“Jenna!” Dad said. “Answer your mama.”

For a second Sissy looked like a possum, lit up in the road. Then she blinked at Dad and snapped at Mama, “Well, repeat the question, then! You expect me to get it the very first time?”

So Mama did. “What was the first state to secede from the Union? (a) Virginia, (b) Alabama, (c) Georgia, or (d) South Carolina.”

Wheels were spinnin' like mad inside Sissy's skull. “Virginia!” she said, all full of sass.

Mama looked at her and bit her lip.

Dad looked at Mama and said, “It's South Carolina, isn't it?”

Mama nodded at him.

“Well shoot!” Sissy said. “You got me all nervous, insultin' me like that. What do you expect?”

Mama went back to the paper. “Okay, well… What was Ulysses S. Grant doing when the war broke out? (a) Attending West Point, (b) Conferring with Abraham Lincoln, (c) Working in a leather shop, or (d) Vacationing in Maryland.”

“Attendin' West Point!” Sissy shot out.

Dad shrugged.

I was clueless, too.

But Mama had the answers. “No, Jenna. He was working in a leather shop.”

“So those must've been two of the ones I missed! Besides, you get your head chuck full of information for a particular
day
. When that day's over, you let it go. You expect me to go through my whole life with Civil War trivia stuck in my brain?”

Mama just ignored her and read from the paper. “In what state did the Battle of Fredericksburg take place? (a) Virginia, (b) Tennessee, (c) Mississippi, or (d) Pennsylvania.”

“Which battle?”

“Fredericksburg.”

“What states?”

“Virginia, Tennessee, Mississippi, or Pennsylvania.”

Sissy straightened her posture. “Pennsylvania!”

Dad's eyebrow shot up. “Isn't it Virginia?”

Mama nodded.

“Everyone knows that… !” he said, looking dis-believingly at Sissy. “Even I know that.”

“But, Daddy! I'm all panicked from the accusation! You can't expect me to
think
like this!”

Mama ran through about ten more questions.

Sissy got only one right.

“Enough,” Dad finally said. “It's clear as day you cheated.” His nose was flaring. His lips were tight. He hadn't touched his barbeque. “You are grounded, young lady.”

“But, Daddy… !”

He stood halfway up and pointed a finger at her. “You're
grounded
, and… and I don't know what else. Your mama and I are going to have to discuss it.”

Sissy started crying. “But, Daddy… it was an impossible test! Mr. Hickle's a war
nut
. Nobody could pass that thing!”

Mama folded up the test and let it drop to the floor beside her. “In addition to the disappointment and embarrassment, Jenna Mae, you might've cost me my job.”

“Get those clothes your mama bought you and bring them here!” Dad hollered.

“But, Daddy!”

“Bring them here!”

Sissy got up, quivering. “But, Daddy, I wore an outfit to school today!”

Dad took a deep breath. “It'll be the last time you wear it, Jenna. And the rest is going back to the store.”

“But—”

“
Get
!” Mama and Dad cried together.

Sissy brought the clothes out, then got sent back to her room without supper. Shortly after, Mama and Dad shoved back from the table and went to discuss things out on the porch.

Which left me and my growling stomach alone with a table full of scrumptious barbeque.

Some times life's more fair than others.

Mama was mortified, but she did not lose her job.

Sissy stayed grounded, couldn't ride to school or back with anybody but Mama, and had to take the Civil War test over again.

Amanda Jane must've done some fancy dancin' at home, though, 'cause she did
not
get grounded and got to
keep
her car. The only thing she couldn't seem to worm out of was retaking the test.

It wouldn't be the same test, either. Mr. Hickle was making up a brand-new one just for the two of them. “Bound to be twice as tough as the first one,” Mama warned.

And that meant studying for real, but they weren't allowed to do
that
together, either. Oh, it would've been okay with Mrs. Banks, but Mama said no way.

Sissy did plenty of whining about it, saying how Mama and Dad were being overly hard on her, pointing out how Amanda Jane still had all her privileges, so why couldn't she?

Mama just counted to ten and said, “I can see the
lesson hasn't sunk in yet, Jenna Mae. When it does, we'll talk about privileges.”

“But Amanda Jane's like my
sister
. You have no idea what this is doin' to me. She gets to go out and have fun, she gets to drive her very own car, she gets to—”

“Jenna Mae, go to your room!” Mama would shout, then mutter under her breath for half an hour.

The only time Amanda Jane and Sissy got to talk to each other was at noon-room duty. Aside from the humiliation of everyone finding out what they'd done, they were punished with trash duty for the final two weeks of school.

Needless to say, Sissy was in a permanent bad mood.

Now, Joey and me would've probably been in a permanent
good
mood if it wasn't for Amanda Jane's car. “It ain't fair!” Joey'd tell me when we'd see her zoomin' around. “So what if they can't return it. Least they ought to do is lock her out of it!”

Didn't stop
us
from having fun, though. We spent time hunting for Tank. Up the river, down the river. We probably covered ground a mile past the Lee Street Bridge. Maybe two. Distances are hard to tell when you're traveling along a riverbank. There's boulders and trees and other obstacles of nature slowing you down, warping yards into miles.

And every time we'd pass under the Lee Street Bridge, Joey'd try and scare me about the Lost Ghost, until finally I just told him, “Shut
up
, already. I ain't scared of no ghost.”

He laughed and said, “I know you ain't, but lots of folks
is
, and I aim to keep that goin'.”

“Why?” I asked him. “For when you bring
girls
down here?”

“No, Rusty-boy!” But then he snapped his fingers, loud as anything.

“What?”

“I got an idea!”

“What? What idea?”

He ran back out from underneath the bridge and looked up and all around.

“What, Joey? Whatcha thinkin'?”

“Follow me!” he cried, and tore off under the bridge.

When we came out the other side, he looked all around. He ran up the bank to the road, tested a tree branch that was hanging overhead, looked up and down Lee Street, then tore back down to the river, looking up, looking over… looking
everywhere
. Finally he planted himself right in front of me and gave me his loopy grin. “Rusty-boy,
we're
gonna be the Lost Ghost.”

“Huh? How do you mean?”

“Come on!” he said, charging up to the street. “I'll tell you on the way home!”