He still had time.
He'd better use it wisely.
Glancing at the clock on the wall, he groaned inwardly. He'd already used it up. He stood reluctantly. “It's getting late. You've probably been wishing I'd leave for an hour now.”
“But Lily made pie,” Rose said. “Can't you stay for pie?”
Poppy looked at him like he was crazy. “Don't you want to stay for dinner?”
“More than anything.” He smiled sadly at Lily. “But chores are piling up at home and I've got to get to them before the Sabbath.”
Lily smiled at him with a hint of regret on her face. “Of course. You've sacrificed so much of your time for us already.”
“I would never consider it a sacrifice.” He stared at Lily for as long as he dared without making everyone in the room uncomfortable. He had to get to those chores. There was so little time and so much hay to make.
“Lily,” Bitsy said, studying a recipe and only half paying attention to anything else. “Why don't you write that note your
dawdi
suggested, and Dan can help you hang it before he goes.”
Lily glanced at Dan doubtfully. “Do you have time?”
The prospect of spending even a little more of the day with Lily sent his heart galloping. “
Jah.
” He flexed his arm. “And I have the muscles for doing the heavy lifting.”
Lily giggled in the first show of true happiness Dan had seen from her since she walked in the door. “It will be tape and a piece of paper.”
“Even better.”
She retrieved a thick felt pen and paper from the drawer and sat down once more at the table. “How does this sound?
If it makes you feel better, do what damage you must to our farm. We mean you no harm, and we have already forgiven you in our hearts
.”
Bitsy looked up from her recipe. “Can you cross out
we
and just put you girls' names? I have not forgiven them in my heart yet.”
Lily looked up at the ceiling, as if considering Bitsy's request. “We'll pretend you've forgiven them. I don't want to mess up my note.” She stood up. “Let's go find a
gute
place to hang this.”
Dan waved cheerfully. “We could be gone for hours and hours.”
Poppy handed Dan a roll of duct tape. “Don't get lost.”
Dan nodded. “I promise to bring her safely home.”
Dan and Lily stepped out on the porch and surveyed the area. “I think we should hang it on the barn door,” Lily said. “They've struck there once. They're apt to do it again.”
They strolled across the flagstones and past Dan's buggy. Lily held the note in place on the barn door while Dan tore four generous pieces of duct tape and attached the note by its corners.
They stood back to admire their work. “Good job, Dan,” Lily said. “A tornado couldn't wrench that note off.”
“I've always been
gute
with duct tape.”
After a long pause, Lily sighed. “Well, then. I suppose I should help with dinner.” She glanced tentatively toward the house as if she didn't really want to go in.
Someone as desperate as Dan didn't need any more encouragement than that. “Would you like to take a look around the farm with me first? I want to make sure everything looks secure before I go.”
Her lips curled as if his suggestion were a pleasant surprise, and his heart started that galloping thing again.
“Shall we look at the orchard hives first?” he said.
Grinning, she inclined her head in the direction of the apple and cherry orchard. He walked beside her as she ambled around the barn and into the orchard. Little green apples the size of walnuts hung on the leafy branches. A wisp of a breeze danced through the trees, brushing past the leaves and rustling them gently.
“Lord willing, it will be a
gute
crop this year,” Lily said.
A comfortable silence hung between them as they walked between rows of trees, Lily looking at the apples, Dan gazing at Lily. Every cell, every muscle and sinew in his body was aware of the beautiful, intelligent, amazing girl beside him.
She stopped walking, closed her eyes, and breathed in the fresh air. “I could very happily spend the rest of my days in the orchard.”
“Taking time out for meals and church, of course.”
She smiled wearily and started walking again. “Maybe I'm dreading g
may
tomorrow and would rather be anywhere else.”
His mouth felt as dry as dust. “Because of Paul?”
“
Jah.
He won't be happy, but I can't give him an answer tomorrow. I won't say yes just to keep him from pouting.”
To keep him from pouting.
That one phrase spoke volumes about Lily and Paul's relationship. Dan tried to steady his breathing. No use for Lily to see how angry he felt. “Paul will understand,” he said, pushing the lie through his teeth. “It's the biggest decision of your life.”
Lily's eyes were trained on the ripening fruit, and her toe grazed a rock causing her to stumble. He shot out his arm and grabbed her hand to steady her. “You okay?”
She nodded.
Now that he had hold of her, he never wanted to let go. So he didn't. He flashed a sheepish smile. She flashed him one right back.
And didn't pull away.
He thought he might faint.
They strolled hand in hand near the hives where the pleasant hum of thousands of bees greeted them. She hadn't stopped smiling, so he kept hold of her hand. He couldn't imagine heaven feeling more glorious.
“Our district doesn't have
gmay
tomorrow,” he said. “Would you like me to come to yours? Just, I mean, just if you need a little extra courage.”
She knit her brows together. “Seeing you would only irritate Paul. I hope that doesn't hurt your feelings.”
“I know exactly how Paul feels about me.”
She seemed to grasp his hand tighter as he led her out of the orchard and around behind the barn. “Paul can be difficult,” she said. “But he was raised in a hard home, like Aunt B, and I know with time and encouragement he can change. He has a good heart. I've seen it. In school, he was the only boy who saw how badly I was hurting, how unsure I was of myself. He almost single-handedly pulled me through that last year of school, along with Rose and Poppy, of course.”
It was another stinging reminder that if he lost Lily, it would be his fault and his fault alone. The thought sat heavy on his shoulders.
She guessed what he was thinking. “I will feel worse if you beat yourself up about it.”
“I . . . I know.” But that didn't make it any easier to breathe. “Do you feel you have to marry Paul because he was nice to you in school?”
“I owe him a great debt of gratitude.”
“And marrying him pays that debt?”
Her lips twitched self-consciously as her gaze darted to his face. “It sounds quite drastic when you put it like that.”
It
was
quite drastic, trading the rest of her life for a teenage memoryâlike selling her birthright for a mess of pottage.
Then again, Paul had been there to comfort Lily when Dan had not. He couldn't minimize Lily's gratitude. As much as it grated on him, Dan was grateful to Paul as well.
Still holding hands in broad daylight, they walked behind the honey house to the field of clover that had been cut last week and passed the hives that sat on the edge of the field. Every word, every step, every touch was sweet torture. How long could this wonderful, agonizing feeling go on?
“Paul says that
Gotte
brought us together, that we shouldn't question His plan.”
Dan had resolved not to put pressure on Lily one way or the other, but there was something so unfair about Paul invoking
Gotte
to force Lily's hand. Who would dare argue with
Gotte
's will? “I believe that
Gotte
has a plan, but it's not necessarily Paul's version.”
She nodded thoughtfully. “
Jah
. You're right.”
He wanted to cheer out loud.
After taking a good look at the field hives, they headed back toward the house. He really did have to get home.
“What do you think I should do about Paul?” Lily said as they walked to the house.
Forget Paul and choose me. Love me. Marry me. I will make you happier than you ever thought possible.
“You're smart,” he finally said, though down to the marrow of his bones he ached to kneel down and beg her to marry him. “You know what will make you happy. I have faith that you'll make the right decision.”
She smiled at him then, a true, straight-from-the-heart smile that made his knees weak. “
Denki
for saying that. I'm not really that smart, but I always feel better after talking to you.”
He squeezed her hand. “I will always be here when you need to talk.”
They walked up the porch steps. He had to leave no matter how badly he wanted to stay.
“
Denki
for helping me hang the sign,” she said, finally letting go of his hand. He immediately felt as if an essential part of himself were missing. She turned and took a step toward the door.
He had restrained himself for a long time. At that moment, standing on Lily's porch, his self-control cracked. Then shattered.
“Lily, wait.”
She turned back and eyed him expectantly. He curled his hand around her elbow and tugged her close to him. Very close. Slipping his arms around her waist, he pulled her even closer. She felt so soft, so very good in his embrace, like she belonged there. She caught her breath as, without pausing to consider, he brought his lips down on hers and kissed her with aching tenderness.
The breeze stilled, the birds fell silent. Nature itself seemed to wait.
Dan had never felt such deep contentment or such profound longing as he did in that one kiss in that blissfully perfect moment.
He pulled away, but his lips hovered mere inches from hers. Her eyes were half closed, and she wore a befuddled smile. “Lily,” he whispered.
“Hmm?”
“I'm not your big brother.”
* * *
Two hours later, Dan was helping his
dat
clean the milking machines when the three Honeybee Schwesters burst into the barn, smiling so wide, they could have stopped traffic with those nice white teeth.
“We've come to help you with your chores,” Poppy said, leading the march.
Rose followed. “Because you always help us with ours.”
Lily brought up the rear of the procession, holding a delectable-looking pie. “Snitz pie made with honey,” she said, blushing slightly.
No doubt she was remembering that kiss.
But was she thinking of it with pleasure or disgust?
Dan bloomed into a smile. “You didn't have to come.”
“We know,” Poppy said. “But we want to help out our big brother.”
Rose nodded. “You're like family to us.”
Lily's eyes sparkled like stars in the sky. “I came to help out a friend. I don't even consider you a distant relative.”
And with that he was forgiven. Or encouraged.
Or maybe both.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Lily fired up her smoker and pumped a generous amount of smoke into the top of the hive. They had placed twenty hives at Chidester's sunflower farm, five on the north end of the field and five in each of the other directions. Pulling honey from these hives was much more work because they had to transport the full supers back to the farm to extract the honey and then bring them back.
Mr. Chidester paid them a nice sum of money for pollinating services. Every drop of honey was a bonus. One more week of extracting honey, and the especially hard work would be over until autumn.
She and Poppy worked the five north hives while Aunt B and Rose worked the hives to the east. They worked ten hives in a day. They only had ten bee excluders, and extracting honey from ten supers was enough to keep them busy from sunup to sundown.
Lily blew another puff of smoke into the hive for good measure before she and Poppy each took two corners of the full super and lifted it to the ground. More smoke from both smokers. Poppy set the bee excluder in place, and they lifted the super back onto the hive. By tomorrow, the bees would be gone from the top super and they could take the honey without disturbing the colony.
Paul's proposal pressed on her, while thoughts of Dan and kissing and big brothers and marriage proposals crowded her brain like a pile of fat gumballs. Looking back, she could see that thisâwhatever it was between her and Danâhad been growing for a long time, until it had finally blossomed into something she couldn't understand and couldn't resist.
Dan liked her. The thought was as breathtaking as it was unbelievable. Why would someone as fun and attractive and perfect as Dan Kanagy take an interest in boring Lily Christner? The Amtrak girl. The girl who wore jeans. The girl with a tattooed aunt.
It didn't make sense.
Then she thought of Paul. He had made it very clear yesterday what he thought of her resistance, but he had also tried very hard to be understanding. What could she do? Paul wanted to marry her, but she truly didn't know if she wanted to marry him.
Dan's kiss had definitely muddied the waters.
Thinking about that heart-stopping, head-spinning kiss stole her breath. Her utter shock at being kissed by Dan Kanagy had soon given way to dizzy giddiness that lingered long after he'd gone home. She could think of nothing else all evening, especially when they traipsed to his dairy to help with his chores. She hadn't slept a wink Saturday night. She found it impossible to concentrate on the sermons at
gmay
. The memory of his lips against hers had even distracted her during her little talk with Paul at the fellowship supper.
She had no idea that a kiss could be so devastatingly amazing and so completely unnerving at the same time. And leave such a heavy weight on her shoulders.
It had been so easy to disregard Paul's feelings. She shouldn't have been kissing another boy on the very day that Paul had proposed. And she certainly shouldn't have enjoyed it.
She felt ecstatic and horrible thinking about that kiss.
Paul never had to find out.
She slumped her shoulders. She kept more secrets from Paul than she told him.
Her heart jumped to attention when Dan came tromping right out of the center of the sunflower patch. His face lit up when he saw her, and he changed direction toward the hives.
“Bitsy told me I'd find you over here,” he said. “But a barbed-wire fence got in the way so I couldn't bring my buggy. I decided to take a shortcut. Do you need help?”
“
Jah,
” Lily said, “but without a veil and gloves, they'll eat you alive.”
She really liked that mischievous glint in his eye. “I've done enough research to know that honeybees do not eat people. Are you trying to scare me off?”
“I couldn't scare you off if I tried.”
His gaze could have melted snow. “
Nae,
you couldn't.”
Poppy laid her smoker on top of the next hive and took off her gloves and veil. “Here,” she said, holding them out for Dan. “Much as I hate to admit it, you're stronger than I am. You can help Lily lift supers. I'll go see if I can help Bitsy and Rose.”
“Without a veil?” Lily said.
Poppy started hiking around the perimeter of the field. “You need Dan's help, not mine.”
Dan watched after her for a few moments before gifting Lily with a smile and donning the veil and gloves. “It took a lot for Poppy to admit that I'm stronger than she is. I hope she didn't strain herself.”
“You can be sure she did.”
Dan picked up the smoker. “What do you need me to do?”
Lily pried the lid from the next hive. “Blow some smoke into this super, then we'll lift it off the other supers and install the bee excluder. It won't take long. The real work starts tomorrow.”
He winced. “I'll try to come help.”
“You'll do no such thing. I know how busy you are at the dairy.”
“Much as I love my
dat
and brothers,” he said, “I'd rather be here with you.”
Lily pretended not to catch his meaning. His sincerity was one more gumball to add to her already full jumble.
“I have some
gute
news,” Dan said. “You told me last week that Paul pays you a dollar a pint for your honey. I was talking to a woman in Shawano who told me that the price of honey has gone up. She pays almost four dollars a pint wholesale.”
“Four dollars?”
“She'd love to have a talk with you about buying some of your honey.”
Lily knit her brows together as the doubts swirled in her head. It was always the same debate. Was she hurting her family with her indecision and ignorance? “I . . . I don't know. Paul pays me a little less because he takes on the risk of buying all our honey, whether it sells or not. He often has pints and pints left at the end of the season. He can't pay me more.”
Dan's smile seemed to freeze in place. “I trust your judgment. I only thought I'd mention it in case you wanted to sell the surplus to someone else. You know, take some of the burden off Paul.”
“Paul is my best friend. He doesn't see it as a burden,” she said, even as she questioned herself.
He nodded. “Of course.”
What about her family? Would they struggle to make ends meet without the extra money? “We've been blessed to have much honey this year. As long as they aren't purposefully tipped over by our troublemaker, most of our hives should survive the winter, Lord willing.”
“That reminds me. How did your little note work with our hoodlums?” Dan said. “Is it still on your barn door?”
Lily huffed out a breath. “The note was there yesterday morning, with eggs from our coop splattered all over it and the barn door.”
He frowned in concern. “It was a
gute
idea anyway. At least I have a good excuse to paint the barn door again. Any other damage?”
“
Nae.
The chickens didn't even seem upset.”
Dan shook his head. “I wish I knew what else to do.”
“Me too. We're on tenterhooks wondering what he'll do next.”
“Let's talk about something happier,” Dan said, no doubt wanting to leave the subject as much as she did. He lowered a honey super to the ground. “Did you have a
gute
Sabbath?”
“
Jah
. After church we took some cookies to Mammi and Dawdi. Even Aunt B went in for a few minutes. Mammi made the expected comments about her pink hair, but Dawdi behaved himself. They even had a fairly pleasant conversation about tomatoes and rhubarb.”
“What kind of cookies?”
“Honey with nutmeg,” Lily said.
Dan bowed his head as if he were severely disappointed. “My favorite.”
“Every kind is your favorite, and don't worry. We saved a whole plate for you.” Lily put the bee excluder in place, and Dan hefted the super on top of it.
Dan gave the hive another smoke and leaned his elbow against it. “The truth is, I'm just making conversation because I am hoping you'll slip and tell me how it went yesterday with Paul.”
Her heart beat faster. “You really shouldn't lean on the hive like that. I wouldn't want you or the supers to topple over.”
He took three steps backward and studied her face. Trying to look through his veil and hers, he probably couldn't see much. “It's none of my business, is it? I'm sorry. I'll shut my mouth and never speak again.”
“I don't really believe you'll never speak again.”
His lips drooped. Didn't he know she was teasing? “I mean, I'll never ask about you and Paul again.”
Did she want to tell him about their little encounter yesterday? Paul had not been at his best, and Dan didn't really understand Paul's personality quirks.
Still, Dan had faith in her. He didn't try to talk her into or out of anything. She wanted him to know what had happened with Paul yesterday, if for no other reason than she needed his assurance that she had done the right thing.
She gave him a playful smile. “I wouldn't want you to die of curiosity.” Clumsily taking his gloved hand in her gloved hand, she pulled him several feet from the hives and took off her gloves and veil. He took his off as well, an unexpected look of tenderness in his eyes. What had she done to deserve that?
“You're smiling,” he said doubtfully. “It must have gone well.”
“It started out badly. I told him I couldn't give my answer yet. He accused me of not having faith in
Gotte
's plan.”
A muscle in Dan's jaw twitched. “What did you say to that?”
“I told him what you told me on Saturday, that I know
Gotte
has plans for me but they aren't necessarily the same plans Paul has.”
Dan smiled with all the warmth of a summer day. “I'm glad I could help.”
“He accused me of questioning his judgment. He reads his Bible every night, you know.”
Dan reached out and took her hand. “I hope he didn't upset you.”
She shook her head. Dan didn't need to know how truly upsetting it had been. “You would have been proud of me. I don't stand my ground often with Paul. He's very persuasive. But I told him if he loved me that he wouldn't be mad about it. I said maybe this was a test of his true love. I think he realized he can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar.”
His jaw twitched again, but he didn't say anything.
“After we got home from Mammi and Dawdi's last night, Paul came over to play Scrabble. He hates Scrabble, so I know he's trying hard to be patient. I let him win.”
“Did you?”
“It made him happy.”
Dan stuck out his bottom lip and pretended to pout. “You never let me win.”
“That's because no one would ever believe that you could beat me at Scrabble. The most impressive word I've ever seen you spell is three letters long. I'd be accused of cheating.”
“That's not true. I got a triple word score for
farm
once. I can't believe you've forgotten my greatest Scrabble moment.”
She raised her eyebrows. “I'm never letting you win. It would be the biggest embarrassment of my life.”
Dan chuckled before gazing at her as if he were memorizing every line of her face. “
Denki
for telling me about Paul. I am proud of you for standing your ground. You have to make a decision you feel good about.”
She placed the veil back on her head to hide her blush. “Knowing I have your confidence makes me braver.”
He followed her lead and donned his veil and gloves. “We'd better get these excluders in place. Bitsy, Rose, and Poppy have probably finished and gone home by now.”
“
Jah,
and you are probably needing to get home to the cows.”
He nodded. “They don't appreciate what I sacrifice for them.”
Lily giggled. “Rose is trying out a new honey lavender ice-cream recipe tonight. Would you like to come over after milking and eat some?” She felt only a momentary twinge of doubt. Should she have invited Paul?
Nae.
Paul could come another night. He wasn't all that fond of ice cream.
“It wonders me if you'll let me turn the crank,” Dan said.
“That's why I invited you.”
His mouth fell open. “You only like me for my muscles.”
“You're a very good crank turner.”
“Okay. I will come. I want to see to the new mousetrap.”
A laugh burst from Lily's lips. “Don't bother.”
He eyed her with amused curiosity. “Why not?”
“Aunt B checked it this morning. That mouse licked every bit of peanut butter from the can, but the bucket is empty.”
Dan raised an eyebrow. “This is no ordinary mouse.”
“I'd say not.”
“I'm going to have to come up with a better solution. Or ask Luke.” He winked at her from behind the veil. “Do you know my friend Luke Bontrager? He's a
gute
carpenter. He and Poppy might suit.”
Lily grinned and nudged his shoulder with her gloved hand. “Don't even think about putting Luke and Poppy together. They'd fight like two cats with nothing but a pile of fur left when they were done.”
“But it would be so fun to watch.”
“Not if Luke still wants the use of his arms and legs later in life. You should leave that idea on the shelf where it belongs. Josiah and Rose might be a better fit.”
Dan nodded thoughtfully. “Rose is afraid of actually having to talk to anybody. Josiah is afraid he'll scare her away with one uninvited hello. It could take years.”