Sweet Christmas Kisses (107 page)

“What can I do?” Jess looked around. “May I set the table?”

“No need.”

Jess ignored Drew and followed his mother into the kitchen. “I’m more of a doer than a sitter. Please, I’d like to help.”

“Plates are on the counter. Silverware’s in the drawer.”

This side of the duplex was a mirror image of her side. The furnishings, the room arrangements, were similar, but flipped.

“Looks familiar over here,” she joked.

“It’s okay,” Kathy said, as they carried the food to the table. “It’s convenient for a meal, but I wouldn’t want to live here.”

“You came over just to cook?”

Kathy arranged the food dishes. “My kitchen is being renovated. Besides, there’s no sense it letting these units stay idle. Appliances, like houses, don’t do well unused.”

Jess sat across from Drew and adjacent to Kathy. A few bites into the meal, she resumed the topic.

“You mentioned your kitchen was being renovated?” She focused on Kathy, deliberately avoiding eye contact with Drew. “Drew said he lives with you?”

Kathy sat back a fraction. Jess thought she’d hit some kind of nerve. She’d overstepped.

An instant of confusion registered on Kathy’s face, then smoothed out and she smiled. “Well, goodness. He does…but it’s more accurate to say I live with him. I had to retire because of health problems, but couldn’t afford to, if you know what I mean?” She shook her head. “You’re too young to have experienced that. Anyway, Drew invited me to live with him.”

“That’s very nice.”

“Nicer than you might guess since he already had his sister’s children living with him. But that’s just how he is. He’s a good and generous man. I’m a fortunate mom.”

Drew said, “Enough. You work harder now raising your three grandchildren than at any of those jobs you had.”

“It’s a different kind of work. Not work, in fact.”

 “You did us the favor.”

Jess was warmed by their words. “Three?”

Kathy smiled. “They are the best three kids in the world. No offense, if you have some of your own.”

Jess shook her head. “Nieces and a nephew. My brother’s children. I love them dearly, but they don’t live with me.”

“It’s no wonder my son comes over here to work when the place isn’t rented. It’s the only peace he can find.”

“What kind of work? I thought he was renovating or painting or fixing the plumbing or something?”

“Drew?” Kathy put her head back and laughed. “No. During the off-season when the unit isn’t rented much, he comes over here to work on accounts.”

“Okay, mom. That’s enough about me.”

Drew was uncomfortable. Seeing that, Jess was tempted to tease him as he’d teased her earlier, but his mom was sweet and might not understand.

Kathy said, “Drew mentioned your family is, or was, coming down for Christmas? He was telling me about it, but then it sounded like it changed?”

“Life has a way of changing plans, I guess. The children came down sick, and so on. Life is unpredictable. Life with kids is even more so.”

“That’s certainly true.”

During a quiet pause in the conversation, Jess cast a quick look at Drew. He raised his eyebrows in a question. Now was the time.

“Kathy, I have a confession to make, and an apology.”

She asked, “To whom?”

“To you. I already apologized to Drew.”

She frowned. “Really? About what?”

“Back when we were kids, when we came here for Christmas…it was the last year we came…there was a misunderstanding. I thought Drew had taken something and told my parents. I found out later that he didn’t, but I never set the record straight.”

Kathy’s eyes had grown wide. She was attentive but clearly puzzled.

“My father spoke to you about it?”

“Honey. I ‘m sorry. I don’t remember it, but I’m glad it all got figured out.”

Atonement for something the person didn’t remember felt pointless, unfinished, or foolish. Jess felt foolish.

Drew was no help. He was already picking up the dirty dishes. Was he grinning?

Kathy patted her hand. “Aw, honey, don’t worry about it.”

As Kathy was speaking, Drew returned for more dishes and then Jess heard water running in the kitchen.

His mother patted her hand. “We all do stuff as kids that we regret, but kids have no sense of proportion, of judging how actions fit across the broader context. Probably felt like a big deal at the time. Sometimes that out-of-whack perception follows us into adulthood if we don’t get it resolved. Nice that you had the chance to say you were sorry. Most never do. Could you pass that last roll before Drew runs off with the bread basket?”

Jess gave her the basket and also the butter dish. She was quiet, thinking about Kathy’s words.

“Do you have plans for Christmas?” Kathy asked.

Her question brought Jess back to the present.

“I’m not sure. At this point, I’m thinking of packing up and driving home tomorrow. Maybe a change of plan will change my luck.”

Drew stopped in the kitchen doorway, but didn’t speak.

Kathy said, “I’m sorry it’s come to that for you. I don’t know if that’s wise, though, to travel I-95 on Christmas Eve. The interstates are usually jammed, and there’s weather coming through tomorrow.”

“Weather?”

“Some precipitation, but early, I think. It may be cold enough to freeze.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll check the forecast before heading home.”

“We visit family in Raleigh on Christmas Eve and stay over, but we know alternate routes. Ways around the traffic. My sister Jenna and her husband live there. I’m sure they’d be happy to have you too.”

Kathy’s expression was sincere. Somehow, Jess doubted they’d welcome her, but even if they did, she preferred to be alone for Christmas than among strangers and, in a really sad way, she was going to get her wish.

Regardless of fault or intention, if she stayed at the beach house for Christmas, she’d be there alone. She didn’t want that.

“Look at the time. I’d better get home.” Kathy scooted her chair back. “I’m sorry about eating so early, but Mike is only fourteen. We like to give him the chance to learn responsibility and to earn a little cash by babysitting, but he’s young and sometimes his sisters take advantage.”

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Kathy.”

“And you, too, dear. I hope you’ll come back and see us again. Remember, the offer for Christmas Eve is open.”

Drew escorted Jess the ten steps home. They were slow steps. Neither of them were in a hurry. Even so, it wasn’t far enough. There was no time for her to ease questions into the general post-evening chit-chat, so she simply asked him.

“Accounts? What kind of accounts?”

“Bookkeeping types of accounts. I free-lance for local businesses, plus we have some business interests of our own.” He knocked on the side of the house. “Like this.”

“You’re kidding? I’m staying at your house?”

He shrugged. “In a manner of speaking, you are.”

Jess shook her head. “You know a lot about me. What about you? You never married? Seems unlikely.”

“Because of my looks and charm?” He smiled at her, his face lit by the door light.

“Not so much, but your wit is definitely attention-getting.”

He looked up at the stars, and then at the dark horizon. “I thought I would. Wanted to. But the ladies would get close, find out about my ready-made family, and the romance vanished.”

“How did you end up with your sister’s children?”

This time he looked down at his feet. He leaned back against the door and his expression turned wistful.

“She was my big sister.”

“Was.”

“Yep. Was. Her husband left. She and the kids moved in. I’m not some kind of saint. I never intended for them to stay. But June got sick and by then Mom’s health was failing. Mom got better. We lost June.”

Jess, sympathetic and moved by the truths they’d shared, ran her hand along his sleeve. Drew reached over and placed his hand on hers and held it there.

Gently, she eased her hand from his and touched his cheek. She said, “Your mom is delightful. Thanks for inviting me and I forgive you for making me confess for no reason.”

Actually, in an ironic way kind of way she meant it. Something she hadn’t realized was on her conscience, was now off of it. It felt okay to think about him, to remember him now. This self-revelation seemed to support what Kathy had said.

Jess was glad she was leaving with this unfinished business resolved. It was an unexpected gift. Unfortunately, she was also taking a sad acceptance with her, too, when it came to her family.

It was time to move on with her own life.

Christmas Eve morning.

She’d stayed up late the evening before, stripping the unused beds and stashing the sheets in the bags provided by the rental agency. She gathered together most of her personal items in the bedroom and bathroom and then packed what she wouldn’t need for the morning.

She left boxing up the food and decorations for this morning. She groaned aloud thinking about the trips she’d be making up and down those stairs.

Taking down the decorations could wait until last. Some insane, illogical sliver of hope lingered in her heart. She accepted it and moved on with what needed to be done.

The tree in the middle of the living room was living out her apparently prophetic statement—that she had no use for it. Not this year.

Jess opened the blinds.

The world was encrusted with diamonds.

They hung like flashing pendants from the porch railing. They sparkled on the floor planks and the crossover.

She opened the door and stepped out. Even the sand glittered. The dunes grasses were laid low under their shimmering coating. As she stood there another spate of ice was loosed from the sky.

It was sort of a white Christmas or at least a crystalline Christmas Eve morning.

Drew looked around the end of privacy panel. “You’re still here. I’m glad.”

“Good morning.” Without thinking she stepped forward and her shoe hit where the ice began. She flailed, grabbing for the panel. Drew caught her arms.

He said, “No driving this morning.”

“No, I guess not. It’s beautiful. Exquisite.”

Suddenly, the clouds parted and the sun poured forth in bright streams. She shielded her eyes, nearly blinded. Every surface, every faceted plane reflected the sun’s rays.

“No,” she said. “It’s breathtaking.”

“It is.”

She peeked between her fingers and saw that his eyes were on her face.

He cleared his throat and added, “Storm’s done. The ice won’t last long. If you don’t mind a later start, you can still get going today.”

Oddly disappointed, Jess said, “I guess I could.” She dropped her hands despite the brightness.

Why was she leaving anyway? What was the point in rushing back? It would be a quiet Christmas. A lonely one. Big deal. She’d better get used to lonely holidays. That said, she was never going to put herself through anything like this again. The bigger the expectations, the harder the crash.

She squinted at Drew. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Christmas Day?”

“Yeah.”

“Mom and the kids are going over to Raleigh later today when the ice clears up. I think she mentioned it to you at supper last night? I considered driving over too—I usually do—but I don’t think I will this year. Aunt Jenna will have a full house. I’d like a quieter Christmas. So, the answer is I don’t think I have any plans.”

“Would you care to share Christmas dinner with me?”

“Yeah?” His dark eyes picked up the light from the ice and sparkled. He seemed surprised and pleased.

Encouraged, she repeated the invitation with a little joke.

“Sure. You’ll have more opportunities to torture me.” She fastened her eyes on his. “Seriously, I have tenderloin and it’s not frozen. It needs to be cooked and eaten. I think we’re up to the task.”

“What about this evening?”

“What about it?” she asked.

“I’m alone this evening, too.”

“Well, I’m not surprised. You’re very pushy.”

“I am. I practice it.”

“So what did you have in mind?”

****

Drew arrived with takeout.

General Tso’s chicken, rice and spring rolls for Christmas Eve dinner? Felt wrong. Even a bit daring. Definitely not traditional. But then, Jess reminded herself, the meal fit right in with the rest of the holiday this year—nothing had gone as usual or as planned.

She gathered plates, silverware and napkins.

“It’s takeout,” Drew said.

Jess turned to face him, the place settings in her hands.

“The point is not to have to wash dishes.”

She looked down at the plates, then back at Drew. “I don’t understand. We need plates and utensils.”

He reached into the bag and drew out paper-wrapped chopsticks. He waved them at the white boxes.

“I don’t know how to use those.”

“I’ll teach you.”

They compromised on the plates. Jess tried the chopsticks but finally fetched herself a fork.

They had about five minutes of laughing and being friendly, then somewhere between the chopsticks and spring rolls something shifted. He smiled, that same smile she’d seen many times over the last few days, but this time it was sweeter and the lines at the corners of his eyes were more endearing. Jess became so acutely aware of him that she briefly lost the ability to speak. She focused on eating and avoiding his gaze and keeping her breathing even.

While they were eating, he saw the ornament box sitting next to the tree and stared at it for a few seconds. He finished his food and she thought he’d forgotten it. He stood and walked over to it. He picked the box up and rummaged through the contents. He brought out an ornament.

“This was mine. My favorite.” He sat the box on the sofa and held up the ornament to show her.

 “Really?” Jess examined it. It was bell-shaped and scratched up. “Why?”

He reached out and bent the ornament’s wire hook over a branch.

“I know it’s old. Used. It’s still my favorite.” After a quick glance over at her, he selected another ornament from the box.

“I meant, why would you leave your box of ornaments on the porch if they were so special to you?”