Sweet Christmas Kisses (143 page)

“Of course. I was going to work on the tree farm.”

He grimaced. “Right. What if we had followed that little plan? Would you have even gone to college?”

“Well…sure. I had those scholarships.” I had wanted to go to college, but also wanted to marry Jim and have a happy home. The main thing I needed at the time was to be away from my parents, making my own life one way or another. I had thought Jim and I could make it work.

“I don’t think you would have gone to college, Mel. Carla and—oh, I can never remember that guy’s name—the guy she went to the prom with, you know?”

I nodded.

“The four of us, at prom, while we were eating, got to talking about after graduation. That guy said he was off to Purdue to study pharmacy, Carla said she would go to design school. I talked about being a lawyer. And you just sat there and smiled.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“Mel, you had so much going for you. You were the smartest one in our class, but you were ready to settle down and be happy.”

“You obviously couldn’t let that happen.” I crossed my arms, angry with him for trying to make this my fault.

“I wasn’t prepared for that kind of commitment—not yet. There you were, ready to get married right away and start making those two kids. I had college to get through, and then law school. I loved you, to the extent an eighteen year old knows about love. But it scared me to death for you to talk that way. I was intent on starting my new life. College and career first, wife and family later on. I wanted to do those things, you know? Everything we had talked about. But we hadn’t given it a timeframe while we were dreaming it, and things were happening too fast for me. You were so good and sweet, but I was suddenly looking for a way out.”

“Enter Diana.” Whom I could still picture in her bikini, high heels, and smug grin. It still made me a little nauseous.

“Diana had been flirting with me for years.” He shrugged. “When you’re on the football team, it happens. That night in the gym, with the fake waterfall making that weird sound and all of us talking about our futures, I realized something needed to happen, and fast. Diana and Greg showing up at the party was a surprise, but it set some stuff in motion.”

“Stuff like lust?” I asked sweetly.

He frowned and leaned forward. “Diana—Diana was desperate. She had made a lot of mistakes in high school, and her dad basically gave her an ultimatum to shape up or he’d cut off any funds. Let her go out into the world on her own and see if she grew up. She saw me as a way to make amends with the old man, and for the most part it worked. Of course, I had always known him. He liked me, thought I would do well as a lawyer. He also could pull strings. I had some internships I would never have gotten otherwise.”

“Not that it mattered in the end, of course. I came back to Serendipity to practice. Diana and I had the biggest wedding of the year, and the ugliest divorce of the decade. No matter what I did, she was never happy. She was always out with friends, female and male. If I questioned her, she got defensive and hateful. I would never have believed how spiteful she could become.” He shook his head. “When the divorce and property settlement were done, I came out here to the farm and built the house I always intended to build.”

I looked around for a moment at the living room. It was the way I had pictured it all those years ago.

He stood and started to pace. “You never needed me, Mel. You just thought you did. My family had become like a second family to you, and marrying me would make it official.”

“What a horrible thing to say.” I should never have confided in him about the ugliness of my own family after keeping it to myself all these years.

“But true. More true, in fact, than I knew at the time. Because of the way you were brought up, you didn’t believe in yourself, that you could do great things on your own. I pushed you away out of selfishness. If I had known back then, on prom night, how your parents had treated you, maybe I would have done things differently, found another way instead of the Diana ‘out.’ I don’t know.” He smacked a door frame with his hand. “The best thing that happened is you went out into the world and made your own life.”

Jim reached over and touched that dang cleft in my chin for just a second. “You thought you needed me, and my family, but you just needed to believe in yourself. You’re amazing, Mel. I’ve always known that, even if you haven’t.”

It made sense. Some of it was very convoluted thinking, but we’d been teenagers, so what can you expect? By pure dumb luck—coincidence?—serendipity—due to Jim’s breaking up with me, I had discovered my own strength and abilities. I felt the hurt and anger I’d held all this time start to fall away.

“And today when you believed I would go behind your back and work with Jared Barnett to make a great business deal…?”

“That was me being defensive. I love having you back here, Mel. And Matthew has given us all a better outlook. I was afraid that, just when I could believe you and I might have a future together after all, you were using the past against me.”

“Which you deserved.”

He hung his head a little. “Yeah, probably.”

“So, Jim, what will it take to convince you that I wasn’t doing something underhanded?”

“That Barnett guy himself, it looks like. Earlier this evening I got a call from Dean Williams. Seems a stranger named Jared came in for a haircut and was asking a lot of personal questions about my family, and about you too. Dean didn’t trust the guy, and tonight when he was talking to Alice about it, she suggested he call me. Soon as I hung up with Dean, Mom reamed me out. That would have happened after you talked to her and Francie.”

 “So you broke up with me because I was terrific, and when I came back to town you deemed me untrustworthy.” His twisted logic was maddening. I could only imagine he was a great lawyer.

“Sorry, Mel. I’ve built up some pretty strong defenses for myself and my family. Even more so since Dad died.

“Oh, Jim. I know you’re hurting too. You were always so close to him.”

“I talked to him most every day of my life ’til he died. Even in college and law school. We were really tight, and I miss him like hell.”

“I’m sure he would be proud of the work you’ve done this year to keep everything going, and how good you are to your mom. Their dream of this farm came true through hard work. Driving up here, I got a glimmer of an idea that might be a nice little change-up for everybody in your family.”

“What?”

I held up a hand. “Not yet. I have to think it through more thoroughly, do a little research. But right now I need to pick up Matthew and get him to bed.” I stood up. “Good night, Jim.”

“Night, Mel. You don’t hate me anymore, right?”

“Right. I could maybe warm up to you a bit, but it will require more effort on your part.”

He brightened. “I will take that under advisement, Ms. Singer, and present my findings to you in a timely manner.”

“Oh please, no lawyer talk.”

I was smiling the whole drive back down to the Christmas shop. What a weird series of circumstances had brought Jim and me to this point from the pool party at the Osbornes all those years ago. But I had to admit I had gained a lot in the years, even though I felt I had been so badly wronged.

I had worked hard and excelled in college, sought out my career, and made a name for myself there too. I had been in a few relationships, but none of them had that forever feeling. If I’m honest, I was looking for someone like Jim, and never found him. So when I decided I was ready to be a mom, I did all the stuff necessary to get an
in vitro
fertilization from an anonymous donor. The selection process was pretty cool. Kind of like an online dating profile, only different. I think I’m a pretty good mom, though as expected, single parenting is a challenge.

I picked Matthew up at the shop and got us home as soon as I could. I snuggled into bed with him, feeling happier because I understood my past a little better. I sang my usual lullaby, but instead of falling asleep, he patted my cheek.

“Mommy, I’m gonna sleep in my truck bed tonight.” He picked up his little piece of blanket and went into his room across the hall. I didn’t want to jinx things by following him in there, so I just tiptoed to the door, which was ajar. He was humming softly to himself, lying on his side toward the wall where the colorful trucks were painted.

Funny how Matthew had found a bit of independence tonight, just a little while after Jim had explained his concern years ago that I wouldn’t find mine.

Thanksgiving lunch was amazing. There was so much food we almost didn’t get the leftovers poked into Lillian’s big fridge. I looked at the clock and decided I had plenty of time to share my ideas with everyone. Lillian and all four children were there—Jim, Carla, Francie, and David who had a couple days’ start on his annual Christmas season beard. Matthew played on the floor with Harry’s wooden truck, hauling some twigs back and forth. Daisy lay near him, watching carefully.

I stood in the center of the room, looking around at all of them, and cleared my throat.

“Since we’re all here together and the frenzy hasn’t quite begun, I wonder if we could take a few minutes to discuss the future of the farm.”

Lillian nodded and sat a little straighter in her chair. 

“I understand you all care about the farm and want to continue Harry’s dream. I also understand it’s more than you can physically do.”

I looked at Francie. “Your heart isn’t here, honey, much as you love your family. If you end up staying in Serendipity, you’ll always be a little bit unhappy, and nobody wants that. I think you’ve had plenty of unhappiness already.”

“Of course, she isn’t going to stay in Serendipity. Her husband would never want to live here. We all know Brad well enough to know that,” David huffed.

“Well, Brad does have a successful legal practice—” Francie began.

“And he wouldn’t want to go into a partnership with our dear brother Jim,” said David, rolling his eyes. “So Francie moves on when Mom’s ready for her to go. But what about her piece of the land?”

“You can sell it, if you need to, to support the farm.”

Francie was wringing her hands.

“Harry wouldn’t want us to do that,” said Lillian decisively.

“No. I know he wouldn’t, Mom. But if the money is needed, I’m offering.” Francie looked around at the stricken faces of her siblings.

David stood. “I’m sorry I mentioned your corner of the farm, Francie. I always come off sounding heartless, but really I’m just painfully blunt. I don’t want you to give up your inheritance. Dad gave each of us a piece of the land, and that’s yours.”

“Selling off one corner of the farm isn’t any kind of an answer. It decreases the value of the rest and wouldn’t realize much in the way of quick money.” I touched her shoulder, smiled at her. “It’s good of you to be so unselfish, Francie.”

“I don’t know what to do to actually help.”

“I want to talk to you about an opportunity that might be the answer we’ve been looking for.” I didn’t correct the fact that I included myself in that. My developing relationship with Jim gave me a bigger emotional stake than ever concerning the Standish family and their farm.

“I’ve spent some time with Mrs. Jenson who owns the B&B in town. She keeps pretty busy with that. Sometimes there are more calls than she has rooms. Sometimes the people who call have something in particular in mind and she doesn’t have what they want, so they hang up and find another place to go. We’re talking about people who just want to get away, not those who have a particular interest in spending time in Serendipity.”

“Yeah. There aren’t a lot of people in that second category,” David offered unhelpfully.

I wagged a finger at him. “More than you might think, but we’ll get to them. So anyway she fields calls from people who are celebrating an anniversary and want a private setting. Something cozy and intimate. Most of her rooms share a bath, and the one that doesn’t is still right there with everybody else in a big, old house with creaky floors. Mrs. Jenson’s place doesn’t cater to people who want a romantic getaway. Get the picture?”

Carla shot me a wink showing she knew what I was hinting at.

I plodded on, afraid of losing momentum. “She also gets calls from people she’s met at statewide church meetings, who know she has a B&B. These people are looking for a place for a spiritual retreat. Much as she tries to accommodate everyone, she can’t host a religious retreat among her other patrons. Besides the fact that she simply doesn’t have that much space.”

Jim shook his head. “I’m listening, honest, but sure don’t have any idea why we’re talking about Mrs. Jenson’s B&B.”

I looked at him, hands on my hips. “Because that’s the opportunity.”

“What is?” Jim still looked confused.

“A B&B. Right here on the tree farm,” I announced and hoped my smile was encouraging.

David frowned. “Mom likes people, but she doesn’t need to have strangers wandering in and out of the house. I wouldn’t be comfortable with that happening, to be honest.”

“How sweet, David.” Lillian smiled at him, then turned to me. “It might be interesting to try it, Melissa. I’ve never given any thought to running a bed and breakfast.”

Bless her heart. She was an adaptable lady.

“I wasn’t necessarily suggesting that you have people stay here in the house with you, Lillian. If you did, you would have a similar clientele that Mrs. Jenson does, and as I was saying, she isn’t able to meet the needs of some people.”

“So what you’re suggesting is…?” Lillian leaned forward eagerly.

“Mini barns. Not exactly mini barns, but you know the ones you see for sale at the hardware stores and such?” I looked around to make sure everyone was following. “Something a bit bigger than that, and trimmed out so it has more of a cabin look. A tiny bathroom and kitchen area, and there you go—private little getaway for a romantic weekend, or spiritual retreat, tucked into a beautiful pine forest.”

“Put mini barns all over the farm?” Jim looked as if he were trying to picture the result.

“Not every few feet,” I assured him. “But spread around the acreage.”