“I thought you said she was conscious.” Luke gripped her ankle through the sheet. He wanted to touch her face but there were too many people buzzing around. No room for him.
“We’ve given her a mild dose of valium to keep her calm and some pain medication.” The doctor pulled out her penlight and opened Lanie’s eyelids. “Good pupil response. Ms. Heaven, can you hear me? Do you know where you are?” Lanie’s eyes fluttered open, but barely.
“Call her Lanie,” Luke said. “No one calls her Ms. Heaven.”
The doctor nodded. “Lanie, talk to me. Where are you?”
“Orange refrigerator,” Lanie mumbled.
“Good enough for now,” the doctor said.
Luke was about to ask in what universe that could be considered good when he heard frantic footsteps in the hall behind him. He looked out the curtain to see three terrified faces. Tolly was crying and Lucy and Missy looked surreal and out of place with fancy upswept hairdos — all fixed up for a dance none of them would attend.
Something broke in him. He couldn’t remember feeling this way before — not even when Carrie and Jake died. Three pairs of arms opened to him and he let himself go to them.
It was day two now, almost noon. The obstetrician, Dr. McGowan, had just left. Luke sat quietly at Lanie’s beside in the ICU. He tried not to move or even breathe audibly. The rules had been made very clear. He could be here as long as he remained calm and didn’t upset her. The first sign of high heart rate or blood pressure and he was out.
There had been good news from the sonogram but none since. The first forty-eight hours were critical and that was half gone. The goal was for Lanie to rest without slipping into unconsciousness. It was imperative that there be no bleeding or swelling in the brain. According to her last CT scan, that part was going okay. But the trauma doctor had flatly said she should have been more lucid by now. Her pupil response was good but only once had she followed a directive and squeezed a nurse’s hand. If she spoke, it was gibberish.
Everyone tried to be positive but nobody would promise anything. Luke wasn’t going to fail the woman he loved again — at least no more than he already had. And he did love her. If all he could do was be with her when she died, that’s what he’d do.
The curtain opened and Bailey, the nurse who’d been on duty when Lanie was first brought to the ICU, came in. She looked cheerful in her University of Georgia Bulldog scrubs. He’d been glad to see her when she came earlier. He liked her much better than the night nurse. He stood up.
“Hello!” she said brightly. If there was no improvement by Bailey’s next shift, they were in trouble. She changed Lanie’s IV and fiddled with the monitors, all the while talking to Lanie about the weather and Georgia Bulldog football.
She turned to him. “How are you, Judge Avery?”
“Call me Luke,” he whispered. Maybe if he were nicer, Lanie would come back.
“Luke it is.” She removed a penlight from her pocket. The neuro checks again. They’d done this every hour for — how many hours? He could have done it himself by now. First the eyes, then the questions and the directives.
“Lanie!” Bailey called like a pep squad leader. “Can you hear me?” Her eyes fluttered open. Luke backed up. He didn’t want her to see him. If she got upset, who knew what would happen? “Good. Now squeeze my hand. Can you squeeze my hand?” There was a long pause. “Lanie, squeeze my hand.”
He felt sick. She wasn’t going to do it.
“Okay,” Bailey said. “Let’s try something else. I want you to talk to me. Tell you your name.”
“Fish swimming upstream,” Lanie mumbled.
“That’s not her name,” Luke said.
“No,” Bailey agreed. “But she’s speaking. Her vitals and other numbers are good. And as I’ve told you, this gibberish is not unusual. It’s not time to panic. Not even close.”
“Will you tell me when that time comes?”
She smiled a kind smile. “Why don’t you come and try?” This wasn’t the first time she’d asked him. He had to do it or give a reason why not.
“She was mad at me when she had the wreck.”
Distracted because she was mad at me,
but he didn’t have to say that. “I’m afraid of agitating her.”
“I doubt any little disagreement you two had is on her mind now. I’m betting she just wants to know you’re here and her baby is all right.”
Well, he wouldn’t call it a little disagreement, but maybe he should try. “Will you stay? And watch the monitors?”
“I will. And I’ll stop you if she starts to get upset.”
He reached to take Lanie’s hand. He hadn’t touched her except to lightly stroke her ankle through the blanket when he was very sure she was sleeping soundly. Her hand felt warmer than he’d expected. He brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss there. So badly, he wanted to work his way around the tubes and machines and climb into bed with her, to give her comfort — give himself comfort. So stupid. If only he’d been able to assure her that he loved her, there might not have been a wreck. Now it might be too late. He glanced at Bailey. She smiled and nodded. “Talk to her.”
“Lanie,” he whispered.
“Louder,” Bailey said and clapped her hands like a cheerleader. “Make her hear you! Pretend you’re in court.”
If he was in court, he was the one on trial. “Lanie, it’s Luke.”
“She’s doing fine,” Bailey said. “Tell her to squeeze your hand.”
“Lanie, squeeze my hand.” Was it his imagination or had her hand moved? “Lanie! Squeeze my hand.” And she did. Definitely, a squeeze. He nodded to Bailey, who pumped her fist in the air. “Do it again.” Another squeeze. If Lanie came through this, he was definitely donating a large sum of money to the University of Georgia. Maybe the nursing program. Maybe the cheerleaders.
“You’re doing great and so is she,” Bailey said excitedly. “Talk. Say what’s on your mind.”
Say out loud what was on his mind? In front of a stranger? But time was growing short.
“Lanie, I’ve been right here with you the whole time. There are lots of people in the waiting room. Missy, Lucy, Tolly, and Nathan. I called Brantley. He came. Father Gregory’s been here, plus people I don’t even know. Harris is on his way to Birmingham right now to pick up your parents at the airport. Mine are on their way back from Japan early. My sister’s coming. You need to come back so you can see everybody.”
“Now tell her something important!” Bailey commanded, stepping closer.
He took a deep breath. “I won’t leave you. I love you so much. And it’s not a quiet, settled love. It’s not surrender. It’s loud and messy and necessary. And wonderful. I miss you and I want you to come back to me. Emma misses you too. Your baby — our baby — is fine. Guess what? I saw the sonogram. He’s about the size of a lima bean but he was swimming away. He doesn’t even know his mommy had a wreck.”
“Her heart rate’s up,” Bailey said.
Alarmed, Luke jerked his hand away.
“No,” Bailey said with a huge bright smile. “It’s good. It’s up, not high. She
understands
you. This is huge! Keep going.” He almost expected her to say, “Ready, okay!”
“Our baby is a boy. He wasn’t big enough to really tell, but I know just like I knew Emma was a girl. Not that it matters to me. I don’t need a son to make me feel like a man. For that, all I need is for you to be my wife. Next time I see him, I want it to be with you. Now, open your eyes. Look at me.”
She squeezed his hand. He could feel her! There was energy!
Euphoric, he laughed. “Oh, you’re being stubborn aren’t you? Letting me know you’re in there without doing what I tell you.” He bent and kissed her brow. “Now, there is something else I want to take up with you. You know what you said about me trying to change you? Maybe it seemed that way. Maybe it was even a little true. Really, I got the SUV for you because I wanted you to have a safer vehicle but I should have talked to you about it. Just goes to show there are no guarantees. But that is a moot point. It’s over for you and that SUV. It’s totaled. I still think you need something bigger, but when you get over this, if you want to go back to driving your old car, that’s your business. I don’t care. But I am not apologizing about the floor. You were breaking the law, so you have to give me that one. As far as the clothes go, well — you have such a pretty body, I just wanted to see it. But I can see you any time I want without
any
clothes — at least I hope you’ll still let me. So maybe it would be better if you go back to your baggy things so other men don’t look at you. Your call. I love your work clothes now. No. Wait. That’s a lie. I don’t. But I love you and just want to see you in them — even those lime green pants with the gummy bears and they are the worst. In fact, I would love it if you would wear those pants when you marry me. Wear the peeps apron with them. You’ll still be the most beautiful bride to ever walk and breathe. Emma can wear her bee suit. I’ll — well, I don’t know what I’ll wear. Find me the most embarrassing thing you can think of. I deserve it. Maybe a pirate outfit. We’ll all look just as festive as hell. We won’t have a quiet, settled wedding because this is not a quiet, settled love. It never will be. Thank God.” He leaned in close and placed his hands on her cheeks. “Lanie Heaven. Open those eyes and look at the man who loves you.”
She opened her eyes and frowned. Did that mean she was getting upset?
“She’s frowning,” he said to Bailey.
“It’s a response! Get her to say something lucid! You can do it!” Bailey looked like she was about to turn cartwheels.
He took a deep breath and looked deep into her eyes. “Lanie, you are the love of my heart. Please, talk to me. Please, come back to me and give me a chance to love you even more if that’s possible. Say something — anything that makes sense.”
Her eyes cleared. “Windex eyes,” she said.
“Oh,” Bailey said, every bit the dejected cheerleader who was trying not to be disappointed that her team had lost. “I really thought she was about to say something lucid.”
Luke laughed out loud.
“Dimples,” Lanie said.
He laughed again. Lanie closed her eyes but she smiled a little and squeezed his hand.
It was a beautiful night for an outside summer party — warm, breezy, and every star in the galaxy had come out to play. The space behind the Avery farmhouse was lined with red and white striped tents and illuminated by thousands of fairy lights. The trappings had been planned to inspire gaiety and accommodate a lot of people. The small wedding ceremony had been attended only by family, the book club girls, Brantley Kincaid, and Nathan Scott, but it seemed that every citizen of Merritt had turned out for the reception to help celebrate with the two buffets, three bars, portable dance floor, and classic rock band.
The bride did not wear gummy bear pants or a peeps apron. The simple champagne silk dress had come from the same shop her husband had taken her to before but this time she had asked to go. She knew there was a seamstress there who would know how to compensate for her cast and her slightly expanding waist.
It was no surprise that everything was magical and perfect. Gail Avery and Judith Heaven had obsessed over every detail as they sat side-by-side, hour after hour at Merritt General Hospital, waiting for someone other than Luke to assure them that Lanie was going to be fine. He knew it before anyone would believe him. When everyone else thought she was still speaking gibberish, he understood that Lanie’s thoughts were perfectly lucid. It was just taking a little time for her body to catch up to her brain. It didn’t matter, he told Lanie later, that they could make no sense of what she said —
sparkly kiss, Mustang Sally, circle waffle, banana pudding. He
understood. These were the words of their life together — the first of many.
Fearing that Lanie wouldn’t be up to it, Luke hadn’t wanted to have this big reception, but Lanie had overruled him. They had so much to celebrate. To appease Luke, Lucy had suggested that they decorate the gazebo behind the farmhouse like a lady’s boudoir so Lanie would have a somewhat secluded comfortable place to receive guests that was still close enough to the party so she could enjoy it.
That’s where she was now, reclining alone on a brocade chaise lounge that Miss Annelle had lent from her shop. It was quite comfortable. Maybe she would buy it to loll on, even after the cast came off. It would be the perfect place to cuddle a honeybee and nurse a baby boy.
She reached down to pet Emma’s calico kittens as they played on the gazebo floor. The senator had given them to her, claiming he figured it would be easier to get forgiveness than ask permission. She heard footsteps entering the gazebo behind her. She didn’t turn around; she didn’t need to.
“You’re alone!” Luke’s tone was incredulous. “When I left to tuck Emma in, there were a dozen people with you!”
She reached for his hand. When he started to sit in the chair next to her, she pulled him toward the chaise. It was a tight fit, but he squeezed in and guided her head to rest against his heart. Yes. She definitely needed this chaise.
“I sent them all to dance,” she said. “I wanted to be alone for a minute to watch the party and count my blessings.”
“Have I told you today that I love you and I’ll do anything to make you believe me?”
“Yes, you have. And just as I told you that day in the hospital when I could finally make all my words come out of my mouth, you never have to do anything to make me believe you except tell me. You’ve never lied to me, not even when it would have made your life easier. That’s one of the reasons I love you so much.”
“I still can’t believe you’ve made this so easy for me.” He splayed a hand on her stomach.
“We’ve had enough trouble without making something hard for the sake of it.”
“Are you getting tired?” he asked. “Do you want to go in to bed?” Her bed, these days, was one that Gail had set up in the senator’s study where there were no stairs to navigate.
“No. I want to watch the party.”
Phillip was dancing with Lucy’s Aunt Annelle and the senator was talking with Caroline Brantley. Gail and Judith fussed over the buffets while Lanie’s father frowned as he watched Keenum Sutton dance with one of Lanie’s twin sisters. Her little brother John and the other twin were over by the band socializing with the high school set — including Ben, Angela, Kirby Lawson, and other members of Nathan’s team. Two of Lanie’s new favorite women, Arabelle and Bailey, were sharing a drink and a laugh with the friend of her heart, Tolly. A little while ago she’d seen her brother Brian walking toward the peach orchard with Pam Carson. Harris handed Missy a glass of water and ushered her toward a chair. No wonder Missy was exhausted. She’d been getting up at dawn every morning to make some of the more simple candies to help keep Heavenly Confections going until Lanie was on her feet. Brantley, Lucy, and Nathan sat at a table eating slices of the huge tiered wedding cake that Kirby’s grandmother, Miss Eula, had baked.