She had him there. Beyond the hour or so he wanted to spend inside her, he didn’t have an answer. Would it sate his lust? For the time being, yes, it would. But the need would return. And then what? Again and again. Just when would it end? When he walked away from her for good?
He didn’t want to talk … he wanted to taste those sweet lips again. But he had to ask, “What do you want?”
“I want honesty. Can you give me that?”
“Yes.” That had been an easy one. The only lies he’d given her before were out of necessity. “What else?”
“That when it’s over, we’ll walk away with no regrets.”
The crushing blow surprised him. He hadn’t planned on reigniting more than a physical fire and satiating a need they both had. So why the hell did her comment hurt like a fist had been slammed full force into his gut?
Seth ignored the pain … he would consider it later. Now all that mattered was quenching the fire burning through him. “Yes, I can do that.”
Her mouth trembled slightly. “I know you can.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t give me that. Was that a real question or another way to rub the past in my face? If you think I walked away with no regrets, then you’ve got a lot to learn about me, Honor. I did what I had to do.”
“And damn the people you cared about.”
Shit
. Turning, he walked a few feet away from her, then came back. “Hector Clemmons was responsible for more deaths than most small wars. He didn’t discriminate, either. If it got him what he wanted, women and children were included, too. Someone had to get inside his inner circle. And even though my personal life went to shit and I gave up the only woman I’ve ever loved, if I was asked to do it again, I would.”
He glared down at her, feeling furious and too damn exposed at the same time. “If you think I walked away with no regrets, then you never knew me at all.”
Turning away again, he went out into the parking lot and took off running. If he stayed, he’d either kiss her senseless or throw her over his shoulder and run back to his room, where he’d kiss her senseless and a hell of a lot more. And then what? Who the hell knew. He only knew he couldn’t risk finding out.
twelve
I gave up the only woman I’ve ever loved
. Frozen in place, Honor heard those words echo through her brain. Seth had loved her. She didn’t know if she should be happy to learn that or wish he’d never admitted it. What was she supposed to do with that information? Forget about it? No way in hell. But neither could she let it influence her now. She had tested him with the question of walking away with no regrets. Something her dad had often warned her about. Never ask a question unless you’re prepared for the answer.
Seth said he could walk away with no regrets. She believed him. There might have been regrets before, but that was because he’d loved her. Those feelings were gone. The attraction was still there, but the tenderness she’d once seen in his eyes was missing.
Honor shoved her hands through her hair and turned away from the door Seth had just stalked through. Running with him was out of the question, but since she now had even more excess energy to burn, she had little choice but to go back to her workout.
An hour and a half later, soaked with sweat, limbs shaking with exhaustion, she felt better physically, less tense, but that was about all. Chugging down a bottle of water, she headed back to her room. Aidan and Jared would be calling at nine; she wanted to go over the interviews she and Seth had conducted with the girls’ parents one more time.
As she let herself into her room, she came to an abrupt stop. Seth sat at the desk by the window, the notes she’d taken over the last few days spread out before him.
“How did you get in?”
“Told the housekeeping lady I’d locked myself out.”
And it had always been that easy with Seth. One look from those wickedly sexy eyes and women fell at his feet. She was no different. The moment he’d looked at her across the room at that party, she’d been putty in his hands. Descended from generations of warriors and soldiers, Honor had always prided herself on her iron-willed discipline. Seth tempted her like no one ever had.
Being angry that he’d broken into her room would be pointless. Especially when he’d done it to work on the case. Rescuing his niece was his priority. Honor might not appreciate his methods, but if he found something helpful in her scribblings, then she’d gladly give him a key to her room. She mentally shook her head at that thought. Better not go there.
“I need to shower. Want to grab dinner before our conference call?”
He looked over his shoulder at her. “Why don’t I order something from room service? That way it’ll be here when you come out.”
Sitting across from him in a crowded restaurant was hard enough. Being in a small hotel room, with no one around and a bed within a few feet, was so not a good idea. So why did she hear herself say, “Salad, no dressing, grilled salmon, steamed veggies, and iced tea.”
He grinned. “Still the healthiest eater I know.”
She snorted. “I’m probably still the only healthy eater you know.” Grabbing a pair of jeans and a white button-down shirt from the dresser drawer, she turned to the bathroom. “Be out in fifteen minutes.”
In much better spirits, Honor stripped and stepped into the steaming hot shower. She refused to ask herself why she was suddenly lighthearted. Lying to herself by giving credit to her workout for her better mood wouldn’t fly. The reason for her lighter mood had a name—one she refused to acknowledge.
Seth dropped the phone back into the handset after ordering their meal. Honor was no longer angry with him, which was a plus. And his run had returned some sense to his blood-deprived brain. Starting anything up with her right now would be foolish. Pointless beyond the pleasure of the moment. Concentrating on finding Kelli and the others should be his only focus.
The notes Honor had made were neat and precise. In comparison, his notes looked like the scrawls of a child. Though messy, they still held important information.
Yesterday, in their meeting with the Greenes, they’d taken down the same information. Today that had changed. While Seth had been grilling Joe Bradford, trying to get him to focus on his daughter and not his bitterness, he’d learned a few things. Judging by Honor’s notes from her visit with Elaine Bradford, she’d been much more successful.
“You find anything interesting?”
Seth turned to see Honor standing in the bathroom doorway. Slightly damp from the shower, her thick strawberry blond hair was piled on top of her head in the casual, sexy way she often wore it. She had on no makeup, and the freckles she hated but he’d delighted in were more apparent than ever. Her creamy skin looked moist, dewy, and delicious.
Hell
.
Turning away, he looked back down at her notes. “You got some interesting things from Mrs. Bradford. You’re right, Anna’s much more mature than the others. And she’s had training. Sounds like she could handle herself in any given situation.”
She came closer and looked over his shoulder. “I agree. Unfortunately, when you have a gun to your head or a knife at your neck, survival is the name of the game. You have to choose the right time to fight.”
“Yeah, I just hope to hell she found the right time.”
The knock at the door pulled them away from that grim thought. After signing for the meal, Seth rolled the cart to the middle of the room, placed a chair on either side of it, and waited for Honor to sit down.
As she took her seat, she smiled up at him. “Who was responsible for your impeccable manners? Your mom or your dad?”
Seth snorted out a humorous breath. “By the time I came along, both my parents had despaired of teaching their kids any manners. My two oldest sisters, Sandra and Patty, took it upon themselves to share their wisdom.”
“How’d they do that?”
“By telling me about their bad dates … about how rude and disrespectful the boys were. They made me swear I’d never treat a woman like that.” He shrugged. “Guess it stuck.”
She laughed softly as she removed the silver dome from her plate. “All boys should have such helpful sisters.”
“I’m sure my sisters would agree with you.” Seth removed the cover from his meal and took his time unfolding his napkin, feeling an odd, nervous anticipation as he waited to see what would happen.
“Holy hell, Seth. What did you order?”
Hiding a satisfied smile, he took a bite of his loaded potato and gave a moan of appreciation. “Damn, that’s good.” Scooping another bite onto his fork, he held it out to her. “Want some?”
They used to play this game all the time, and both of them always pretended it was the first time. Two or three evenings a week, they’d eat at his restaurant. The chef would always prepare a healthy, nutritious meal for Honor, while Seth usually had something heart attack–inducing. And every single time, he’d end up sharing half of his food with her. They never talked about it, never planned it. Just one of those habits that couples get into that come as natural as breathing. To think that they could fall back into the same sweetly familiar routine made his chest tighten with emotion.
She looked down at her spartan meal and then back up at him, her eyes gleaming with shared laughter. “Maybe just one bite.”
He held the fork out, and when Honor opened her mouth, he put the potato on her tongue. Watching her lips close over the fork and hearing her appreciative moan made him throb like hell.
Her eyes locked with his as he slowly pulled the fork from her mouth. Endless seconds passed; wordlessly they shared a moment of the past, without pain, without guilt. His entire body clenched. How he wanted to push their meal away and take her right here, right now. Relive the passion, the heat.
She drew a trembling breath and dropped her gaze to her meal. Reality returned, and with it came the inevitable memories.
Disappointed, but refusing to feel bitter, Seth returned his attention to his meal. He cut a quarter of his porterhouse steak and placed it on her plate, along with a generous helping of potatoes.
And Honor, doing what he expected of her, dug into the potato and said, “You need to start eating healthier.”
He took a generous bite of his steak. “You’re right.”
With the poignancy of the memory still hanging heavy in the air, they continued their meal in silence. Finishing up well before Honor, he unwrapped the generous portion of chocolate cake he’d ordered and divided it. Before he could slide half of it to her, she said, “No thanks.”
He didn’t bother to try to convince her otherwise. Her favorite dessert now tasteless in his mouth, Seth only took a few bites, then pushed it aside.
Hell, she was right. He did need to start eating better.
The Wyoming wilderness
Like a blanket covering the sun, night fell quickly. Anna figured she’d traveled at least four to five miles. Not a lot of territory but when your feet were almost twice their normal size, pretty impressive. Since she could do nothing for them, she had ignored the agony most of the day. Now that it was nighttime and she’d gathered leaves and branches for a bed, she had nothing else to do but try to stay warm and think about how much they hurt.
Had she made any progress toward civilization? She didn’t know. The sounds of dogs howling might have disappeared, but she knew better than to think they had stopped looking for her.
As she lay on the hard ground, she thought about the day she’d been taken. How long ago that was, she had no idea. In captivity, days ran together. At first, she had tried to keep track, but after they’d started drugging her, time had blurred and she’d lost count of the hours.
What they planned for her and the other girls she didn’t know—and, actually, didn’t want to know. The first few days, she had been locked in a small room with only a commode and a small mattress on the floor. A single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling had been her only light, and it had been turned off most of the time, with the exception of when she was fed. The food had been surprisingly plentiful, if bland. It was their delivery system that sucked. Twice a day, a small slot opened and a plate, along with a carton of milk, was shoved through. She imagined that wild animals at zoos were treated with more dignity.
Then a man had appeared one morning. With her foot chained to the floor, she hadn’t been able to get close enough to do any damage, but she had gladly screamed the most vile, atrocious language she could come up with. That had been a mistake. She should have cowered, acted beaten. Her temper and the indignity of her circumstances had overcome her good sense.
He had quickly closed the door. A few minutes later, he had returned with another man. That man had had a needle in his hand. While one had held her down, the other had injected the drug.
That had happened twice before she’d finally wised up and realized that the only way to get away from them was to let them think she was subdued and resigned to her captivity. Finally only one man appeared to give her the injection. She’d been weak but determined … and she had taken him down.
Which brought her back to the day she’d been kidnapped. It had started on a sour note because she’d argued with her dad that morning. He had been angry with her mom and, as usual, she’d been the sounding board for the two of them.
The call had put her in a bad mood, so when the young girl at the coffee shop approached her, she paid little attention at first. Her forensics lab exam was only two days away, and studying for it occupied her thoughts.
Then she heard a soft, tentative voice: “Excuse me. Do you mind if I sit here?”
Anna jerked her head up. She’d been so immersed in her reading, she’d forgotten where she was. She cast a glance around, saw that all the tables were full, and shrugged. “Sure, have a seat.”
Hoping the girl wasn’t the chatty kind, she bent back to her book.
“I’m new here. This is my first year.”
She drew a silent breath. So much for studying. Raising her head, she smiled at the young girl. She didn’t look older than eighteen and had such a delicate, angelic quality, Anna couldn’t help but feel protective. She knew how it felt to be thrust into a world of busy campus life where everyone seemed to know where they were going and what they should be doing except her. Which was one of the reasons she had attended a small social the day before. Not that it’d done any good. She’d felt years older than everyone there.
“What’s your name?” the girl asked.
“Anna Bradford. What’s yours?”
She held out her hand. “Call me Tabitha.”
She thought nothing of Tabitha not giving her a last name. They chatted about the small town of Harristown and how it differed from where they’d grown up. Tabitha said she was from somewhere back East. Their conversation lasted for about half an hour, and then Tabitha said, “Can I ask a favor?”
“Sure.”
“This boy asked me out the other day … I really like him and want to look good for our date, but I’m hopeless at picking out clothes. Do you think you’d have time to go shopping with me, just for about an hour?”
Anna glanced down at the words on the page she’d been reading. What was the point in pretending she could get her concentration back? Maybe an hour of window shopping wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Besides, though Tabitha was a beautiful girl, her outdated cotton dress did scream for fashion help. She could play fairy godmother for an hour, couldn’t she?
“Sure.” Packing her books into her backpack, Anna stood. “You want to go to the mall?”
“There’s actually a little vintage shop about a mile from here. I found a dress that I think will look perfect … I just need a second opinion.”
Okay, well, vintage clothes weren’t exactly her thing, but with Tabitha’s looks, she could probably pull it off quite well. “That’s fine. Do we need to drive?”
She nodded eagerly. “My car’s out front.”
“I could follow you.”
“No really, it’s not that far. I’ll bring you back to your car as soon as we’re through. Promise.”
Anna shrugged and followed her out the door. What could it hurt? Two minutes later, she found it could hurt quite a lot. The instant she sat in the passenger seat, a giant hand came from the back of the car and covered her mouth with a noxious-smelling handkerchief. She woke to find herself in the trunk of a car with her hands and feet tied. Furious and scared, she made such a racket that the car had stopped. And that was when she saw him for the first time. A giant, mountainous man with the most vile, evil gleam in his eyes. What scared her even more was the loving smile he gave her as he injected a needle into her neck.
When she woke up the next time, she was in a small, cold, empty room, naked and tied to a wooden board. The groans, screaming, and cries of pain that surrounded her gave her the first indication of what she’d walked into and what they had planned for her.
Anna forced those nightmare thoughts away, and tightened the curl of her body under the pile of leaves. With fantasies of finding her way out and making those monsters pay comforting her, she closed her eyes and let sleep take her to a land where life was fair and justice overcame evil.