“But you can’t forgive me. Right?”
“Let’s not go there right now. Okay?”
He nodded stiffly and turned his face to the taxi’s window.
Honor held back a sigh. Part of her wished she could tell him that she had forgiven him. Problem was, she didn’t know if that was possible. Understanding why he’d done something wasn’t the same as forgiving him or believing he had done the right thing. He had made a decision for her that had monumentally affected her life.
“So do you want to go with me?” And because she hated seeing that dark, grim look come over his face, she added teasingly, “My mom’s apple pie is out of this world.”
His mouth tilted in a half smile, but his eyes remained serious. “Sounds great. Thanks.”
The taxi pulled up to the front entrance of the hotel. Seth got out and then held out his hand to her. That one small act stopped her cold as something flickered in her mind. The hand, almost twice as large as hers, darkly tanned, with a sprinkling of black hair and blue veins, looked so strong, so capable. Lethal when necessary, but it had only ever been infinitely tender with her, giving her incredible pleasure.
Blaming her odd thoughts on mental exhaustion, Honor took his hand. After a couple of days of sleep and a few of her mom’s home-cooked meals, both she and Seth would get back on the trail. Dwelling on her past with Seth would get her nowhere other than on a path toward a broken heart. And that was one place she’d sworn she would never go again.
Tranquillity
Darkness and light became one interminable time span of nothingness. In the deepest recesses of her mind, Anna knew she was drugged. Reality was blurred, leading to confusion, nightmares that never seemed to end. Pain existed, but with the drugs, she could almost not acknowledge its existence. Where she hurt and why, she didn’t know. The aches were there, but her blurred mind refused to summon the will to find its location.
The man she’d thought would be her savior had betrayed her. That much she remembered. One moment she had been enjoying her first hot meal in days, and the next, she’d been draped over a mountainous shoulder, being carried somewhere. Her instincts had told her to fight, but her weak limbs had ignored the order.
The dimness receded, and as her thoughts became more coherent, questions clamored in her head. How long had she been here? Were her eyes open or closed? What had they done to her while she was unconscious? Her body ached, but once again, she couldn’t locate the pain, nor could she acknowledge it as distinctly painful. It was just there, hovering.
The man who’d brought her back … he’d said his name was Ben. She had tried to ask him questions. Once she’d realized that shouting and then begging wouldn’t sway him, she had tried to get information. His answers had been infuriatingly vague. They were a community of believers, living in harmony with nature. When asked what that belief was, he couldn’t say exactly.
The more questions she’d asked, the less accommodating he had been. Finally he’d threatened to knock her out to shut her up. Since staying awake and alert had been imperative, she’d kept her mouth closed. Not that it had done her a lot of good. The moment she’d been carried inside the giant gate, two men had grabbed her and a needle had been jabbed into a vein in her arm.
From the brief, uninformative conversation she’d had with Ben, she now understood that she was in some sort of commune. She and the other girls had been abducted. What these creeps planned to do with them was something she didn’t dare contemplate. Best thing she could do was concentrate on escaping again. And this time, she would make it stick.
Distant voices reached her ears. With the darkness surrounding her, she couldn’t tell if she was in a large room and the people speaking were in another part of the room or if she was closed up in a small room and the people were outside. Shuffling sounds came closer. Anna tensed. Was she about to get her questions answered? The terror she’d been able to hold at bay leaped forward like a rabid animal, tearing viciously into her façade of bravery. Her tough inner talk disintegrated, and once again she was a terrified young girl wanting to be held in her mother’s arms and told it had all been just a bad dream.
A dull light appeared above her and a soft, whispery female voice said, “You’re awake.”
Anna blinked, but was unable to see anything other than the dark outline of a body. “Who are you?”
“My name is Lucy.”
“Where am I?”
“You’re in Tranquillity.”
Anna almost laughed, but humor, even the sarcastic kind, escaped her. Besides, pissing this woman off by laughing at her wouldn’t accomplish anything.
“Why am I here?”
“To serve.”
That didn’t sound good. “Serve who?”
“We don’t know yet.”
“We?”
Though she couldn’t see Lucy’s face, Anna felt the hesitation in her body. Afraid the woman would just go away without giving her more information, Anna went on to another question—hopefully one less threatening. “Would it be possible for me to go to the bathroom?”
“Why?”
Surprised at such a stupid question, Anna couldn’t help but say, “The obvious, of course. I need to pee.”
“But you have a catheter attached.”
Anna’s entire body jerked at that information. Who had dared do something so intimate and invasive? If she were in a hospital, it would be different. But this wasn’t a hospital, and she sure as hell wasn’t a patient.
“Who did that … put a catheter in me?”
“I did … with Tabitha’s guidance.”
Now, that was a name she recognized. Tabitha, the bitch who’d been instrumental in her abduction.
Tired of the cat-and-mouse questioning, Anna went for broke. “Can I sit up? Get some water? Food? See something besides this damn lightbulb?”
“I’ll check. We’ve been given special permission to assist in your training, but I don’t know what’s allowed yet.”
“Training?”
“Yes.”
“Training for what?”
“To be what you need to be.”
“I’m quite happy being me; I don’t need to be anyone else.”
A gasp was the only answer Lucy gave. Obviously, that was a foreign concept to this woman.
Footsteps that sounded like they belonged to a heavy man came closer. “Is she awake?”
Anna recognized Ben’s voice. The asshole who’d returned her to this psycho place. “Get away from me, you bastard.”
Lucy gasped above her, and then Anna felt a small, painful pinch on the inside of her arm.
“Dammit, that hurt,” she snapped.
“You cannot talk to my Ben like that.”
Laughter sprang to her mouth before she could control it. Lucy had acted like such a sweet, shy creature, but here she was defending a man who was almost twice Anna’s size.
“That’s okay, Lucy,” Ben said. “She’ll be mad until she understands that we’re only here to help her.”
“You pretty much pissed on your chance to help me. Your kind of help I can do without.”
“Lucy, turn on all the overhead lights so Anna can see we’re not the evil people she apparently thinks we are.”
Biting her lip, Anna said nothing. Being able to see was too important to risk him changing his mind if she pissed him off. If she was going to get out of here, she had to know as much as she could about this place. Being able to see seemed like the best place to start.
Lights flickered on above her. Anna blinked at the brightness, her eyes watering. She looked around, unsurprised that she was in a small room with no furniture. Instead of being chained, as she had been before, she was lying on a bed and her arms and legs were tied to it. She glanced down, relieved to see that she was at least covered by some kind of nightgown.
Ben stood beside the bed, an odd smile of encouragement on his face. She found his attitude so weird that she barely paid attention to the woman she sensed coming closer.
“Is that better?” Lucy asked.
Anna turned her attention to the woman now standing beside Ben and swallowed a gasp. Tall, slender, and stunningly beautiful, Lucy gazed adoringly at Ben as if he were her god.
Ben, who had to be almost twice her age, said, “My Lucy asked you a question. You must answer her.”
“Yes, it’s better.” Figuring she needed to stay on their good side, at least for the time being, she added, “Thanks.”
Ben nodded. “You’re going to fit in just fine. Once you go through training, like Lucy did, you’ll be much happier.”
“Training?”
His smile bright but his eyes oddly vacant, Ben nodded eagerly. “Perfection training. My Lucy is perfect and someday soon, you’ll be just like her.”
What the hell?
eighteen
Sarasota, Florida
Seth stood in the driveway of the two-story, plantation-style home that belonged to Honor’s mother. Why had he come here when he could have just as easily hopped a plane and been at his own home in less than an hour? He shot a glance at the woman at his side and mentally shrugged. No point in asking himself that question. Downtime with Honor trumped being by himself by a million miles, even if that included a firm dressing down from her mother.
“Don’t be nervous.” Honor winked. “I’m almost positive she won’t shoot you.”
“Shooting would be kinder than what I would imagine she’d rather do.”
Grabbing his hand, she pulled him with her to the front door. “I think you’re overestimating my mom’s revenge quotient.” She flashed a bright smile back at him and added, “My brother, on the other hand, would find several creative ways to punish you. Thankfully, Nick’s not here.”
Seth was grateful for that, too. Going head to head with a marine was not his idea of relaxation, especially when he wasn’t so sure he didn’t deserve a thrashing for breaking Honor’s heart.
The front door was flung open and a petite, middle-aged, red-haired woman, her freckled face beaming, shouted, “Honey!” as she ran toward them.
Letting go of Seth’s hand, Honor ran to her mother and threw herself into her arms.
Before Seth could step back and give them more privacy, Honor turned to him, grabbed his hand, and pulled him closer. “Mom, this is Seth Cavanaugh.”
Holding himself straight and rigid, Seth withstood the piercing green stare of Honor’s mother. He had never met Honor’s parents, and even though he had known the relationship wasn’t going to last, he had regretted that. Honor had obviously adored her folks and had talked about them often.
As the stare continued, Seth got the idea that this was a test. Problem was, he didn’t know exactly how to pass it. Did she want a full confession and an apology for breaking her daughter’s heart? About to give her just that, he opened his mouth. Before he could speak, she said, “Are you hungry?”
Seth couldn’t help but smile. That question was exactly what his mother would have said. And he knew exactly how to respond: “Yes, ma’am, I am.”
Her expression one of approval, she glanced at her daughter. “Come on in and get settled. The pot roast is ready. I’m just waiting on the corn bread. I put Seth in the bedroom at the top of the stairway. Yours is at the end of the hallway.”
Flashing the beautiful smile he’d fallen in love with, Honor pulled him into the house. He stood in the foyer and watched Mrs. Stone head toward the back of the house, then disappear around a corner.
“Let’s get our bags upstairs; then I’ll show you around.”
The anticlimactic meeting with Honor’s mother leaving him feeling oddly unsettled, Seth grabbed both bags and followed her upstairs. He came to a halt when she grabbed his sleeve and stopped him in front of a door. Her voice low, she said, “Separate bedrooms. Okay?”
He had expected nothing different … it would have been the same in the Cavanaugh home. “Your mom’s nice.”
“I think so. She’s been through a lot, especially the last few years, with my dad dying.” Honor shrugged. “She’s always been our rock, but when we lost him, I thought for a while that we were going to lose her, too.”
“How long were they married?”
“Thirty-seven years.”
“My parents were together for forty-two.”
“I wished I’d been able to meet your father.”
He wished that, too. But his dad had been gone for several months before Seth had met Honor. Of course, he had resisted like hell Honor meeting anyone in his family. Not that his mother had listened … at least, not at first. Ruth Cavanaugh had taken matters into her own hands. He still remembered the tightness in his chest when he’d explained that he and Honor were not a permanent thing and he had no real feelings for her. One of the many lies he’d had to tell that had carved a scar on his heart.
Hell, for a man who hated dwelling on his past mistakes, he’d been reminding himself of a lot of them lately.
“I’ll go put my bag in my room,” Honor said. “After dinner, we can take a walk on the beach, if you like.”
Suddenly morose and pissed at himself for the feeling, Seth stepped into his assigned bedroom. He knew Honor stood at the door for several seconds before she walked away.
Seth gazed around and didn’t wonder in the least why he’d been put in this particular room. It was full of Honor. Photographs covered the walls and trophies filled the shelves. Mrs. Stone was making a statement, one he understood and had lived with daily:
Look what you gave up
.
Honor dropped her bag in the room she’d stayed in when she’d come here to recuperate. Funny, her mom must have decided to redecorate and packed her stuff away. The room was almost bare except for a few new decorative pieces she’d never seen before. After this case was over, she’d ask her mom to send some of her most treasured framed photographs to Paris. The bare walls of her apartment there were beginning to wear a bit.
She took a few minutes to freshen up in the attached bathroom and then headed back to Seth’s bedroom. His reaction to her mother had been amusing but poignant, too. How many times had she suggested a weekend trip so Seth could meet her parents? Each time, he had put her off with excuses. The reason he hadn’t wanted to meet them was now clear: Seth had known their relationship wasn’t going to last. She hadn’t known the truth and had been disappointed in his reluctance not only to meet her family but for her to meet his.
Seth’s mother had had other ideas, though. About a month after they’d started dating, Ruth Cavanaugh had called Honor at her apartment and invited her to Sunday dinner. Honor had eagerly accepted and had called Seth to tell him, figuring he would think it funny. Being so hopelessly in love with him, she hadn’t clued in to his odd, unenthusiastic response at her news.
The dinner had been delightful, noisy, messy, and full of laughter. Even Seth seemed to have a great time. That had been the first and last time she’d seen anyone in his family. Looking back on it now, she knew he had probably talked with his mother and advised her that their relationship was only temporary.
Honor stopped a few feet from Seth’s bedroom door and purposely waited for several seconds. Being angry with him about his deception and past actions would get her nowhere. One of her dad’s favorite sayings was that dwelling on the past was a sure way to ruin the future. Not that she had a future with Seth, but she did need to be able to work with him.
She knocked, and when his voice said “Come in,” Honor opened the door. Seth was standing across the room, gazing at a wall full of framed photographs. A swift look around the room had her laughing softly. Her mom had been busy … now she knew where her things had gone. Beverly Stone had a flair for making a point.
By the chagrined expression on his face, Seth knew that, too. “Your mother makes quite a statement.”
Honor crossed the room to stand beside him. “Sorry about that. She has a tendency to be quietly dramatic.”
Seth pointed to a small grouping of photographs. “Who’s that?” The pictures were of Honor as a child—riding her bike, swimming in the community pool, skateboarding, water-skiing on Watkins Lake. And in each shot, another young girl was with her. Dark hair, brown eyes, and a mischievous grin … such an incredible zest for life. It had taken Honor years to be able to look at these photographs without sobbing.
“Marnie Simmons, my best friend.”
“She’s the one you told me about? The reason you joined the Bureau?”
Honor nodded, now able to smile at the wonderful memories she and Marnie had made together. Her mother had packed the photos away, telling her she would want to see them again someday. A few years after Marnie’s death, Honor had pulled them out and, after grieving again, bought frames for many of her favorites and put them up on her wall. She had even carried several of them to college with her. They had been her incentive.
“Odd, but we only knew each other for two years. My parents moved to Kentucky a few weeks before school started. I met Marnie the first day of school, and we were friends from that first hello.”
“How old was she when she was murdered?”
“Thirteen. Her birthday had been the week before. Since our birthdays were so close together, we combined our birthday parties.”
“She was killed on your birthday, wasn’t she?”
“Yeah. Her mom dropped her off at my house so we could swim together at the community pool. Marnie went to get a soda from the vending machine and never came back.”
Despite the years that had passed, Honor still remembered the emotions of that day. The fear when she realized Marnie was missing. The guilt of not having been there to protect her friend. And then the overwhelming grief when Marnie’s battered body was found a few days later by hikers. She’d been raped and stabbed repeatedly.
Barely two hours after Marnie had gone missing, the FBI had arrived. Honor had watched intently as they’d gone about their investigation. Two days after Marnie’s body had been found, a part-time worker at the city pool had been arrested. The bastard was still in prison today, and if Honor had anything to do with it, he would remain there until he died.
She had been immensely impressed by the FBI investigators. Their commitment to finding Marnie and then her killer had been obvious. The week after Marnie’s funeral, Honor had announced to her family that instead of joining the military, she planned to become an FBI agent.
“Honor, Seth, dinner’s on the table.”
Her mom’s voice bringing her back to the present, Honor grabbed Seth’s arm and pulled him toward the door. “Let’s go. My mom’s a drill sergeant when it comes to meals.”
When he didn’t budge, she looked up at him in surprise. “What’s wrong?”
“You’re a remarkable woman, Honor Stone. Did you know that?”
Honor laughed. “Mom will be so happy to know that she was not only heard loud and clear, but that you wholeheartedly agree with her. She loves it when that happens.”
Seth shook his head. “That wasn’t your mom’s statement. She put me in here to show me what a damn fool I was. And you know what? I wholeheartedly agree with that statement.”
As Honor rinsed the dishes for the dishwasher, her mother put away the leftovers. The meal had been surprisingly upbeat. Seeing Seth devour her mother’s food and his appreciative, complimentary words had done something to Honor’s heart.
“That was a marvelous meal, Mom.”
Wrapping up what was left of the roast, Beverly Stone lifted her head from her task and smiled. “You and Seth both looked like you needed the nourishment.”
“It’s been a difficult few days for him.”
“And for you, too? Seeing him again must have been a shock.”
Honor snorted. “That’s an understatement.”
“You told me a little on the phone … about why he did what he did. My question to you is, what are you going to do about it?”
In mid-rinse of a casserole dish, Honor stopped to shoot a questioning look at her mother. “Do about what?”
“Now that you know he had a good reason for breaking your heart, what are you going to do about it?”
“He had a good reason for taking on the job. Breaking my heart was another matter. Not telling me the truth was wrong.”
“Sweetie, when men are thinking with their hearts, not their heads, common sense gets put to the side. He was trying to protect you.”
“I was an FBI agent. I didn’t need protecting.”
“Honor, you weren’t an FBI agent to him. You were the woman he loved. There’s a big difference.”
Honor turned back to the sink, that statement cutting deep into what she’d considered her carefully thought out and justified anger. When Seth had told her he’d lied to her to protect her, she’d been insulted. She hadn’t needed protecting. Now, with her mother’s words blurring that anger, she allowed herself to consider his actions in a new light.
She had never been in love before Seth … had never even come close. For most of her life, she’d been focused on achieving one goal or another. Romantic entanglements had been something she’d steered clear of—her eyes always on her objectives.
Her parents had raised her to believe she could accomplish anything. She had never doubted their love, but they had never coddled her or treated her with less than the highest of expectations. They’d raised her brother the same way. Sure, they would have come to her defense if she’d needed them. So would Nick. But she’d never thought of herself as a person who needed to be protected.
Finishing up the last of the dishes, Honor dried her hands and grabbed her mom for a quick hug. “You’re a brilliant woman. You know that?”
“But of course I am. How else could I have a daughter like you?”
Honor grinned and walked toward the doorway. Her mother’s voice stopped her. “You know, I put you in separate bedrooms because I didn’t know how you felt about each other.”
Not sure where she was going with this, Honor said, “Okay …”
Giving the mysterious smile of absolute knowledge her family had often teased her about, she shrugged. “Just saying …”
With a snort, Honor walked out of the kitchen. If they stayed here any longer, she’d no doubt be giving pointers to Seth, too. Her mother had a tendency to dole out wisdom and advice. And this time, just like in most other cases, her mom made way too much sense.