Read Sweet Rome (Sweet Home) Online
Authors: Tillie Cole
“Yeah?”
“I need a signed jersey for a charity luncheon I’m hosting tomorrow. I assume you can arrange that?”
“Yeah, I can get it for you. When do you need it by?”
There was a pause, and then she said, “I’m actually going to be at lunch this afternoon. Could you arrange it within the next couple of hours and drop it by?”
“I’m doing weights in the gym now, so that should be okay. Where will you be?”
“
Lorenzo’s
downtown. Let’s say one thirty?”
“Fine.”
And with that, she cut the line, no good-bye or thanks.
I poured out all the tension in my body through my weights. It was always this way when I spoke to my momma. It was like I had some fucked-up Stockholm syndrome or something. I had a drive within me that always did what she asked without argument, always striving for her praise. I literally had no memories of her being attentive, of being loving, no memory I could recall where I’d made her proud. All I had were memories of pain, not physical—no, my daddy was the one who used his fists—but the pain of her hostility toward me, her utter disdain that she had me as her son.
Moving to the free weights to do my set of squats, I couldn’t help but remember all the times I’d tried and failed to gain her approval. The earliest memory was Mother’s Day when I was about six. My teacher’d had the class creating cards to give to our mommas after school.
I remember going home, excited, hopeful that what I’d done would make her happy. I searched the house from top to bottom and eventually found her in the parlor at the back of our huge house, drinking again. At the time I didn’t realize my momma was a drunk.
I ran in, proudly showing the red card, a picture of a heart on the front, the message inside reading “I love you so much, Momma.”
I remember her rolling her eyes as I entered the room, asking, “What the hell do you want? I’m busy.”
Walking over, smiling wide, convinced that this would be the day she told me she loved me, I presented her the card—I wanted her to know that I loved her too.
Putting her scotch on the tabletop, she took the card and read the message in silence. I held my breath, my heart beating fast with nerves. But then she lifted her head and began laughing and laughing, and I began to cry as she tore the red card in two, throwing the destroyed message to the floor at my feet. At my tears, she just laughed even harder.
Picking up her drink, she stared out of the window, refusing to meet my eyes, and said, “Don’t ever make me something like that ever again. It’s insulting.”
And I never have. I never cried in front of her again after that day either.
Christ.
I was six.
Coach suddenly stood before me and pulled my
Beats
headphones from my ears. “Enough, Rome. You’re pushing too hard. You don’t want to pick up an injury.”
Throwing the heavy weighted barbell on the floor, I picked up my towel and hit the showers. The team signed the crimson home jersey and I made my way across town.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. As I approached
Lorenzo’s
restaurant, planning to make this short and sweet, I immediately spotted my momma outside on the terrace. Sitting next to her was Mrs. Blair and friggin’ Shelly on the opposite side, all three of them smiling and laughing—the perfect high society image.
It quickly became apparent that I’d been set up. So, turning slowly, I moved to walk away when I heard, “Rome, where are you going? We’re right here!” Taking a deep breath, I turned around to see my momma on her feet, Shelly and Mrs. Blair smiling brightly my way.
Keep calm. Play it cool. Get through it,
I told myself as I took a second deep, relaxing breath. I didn’t want to make a scene, didn’t want to make my momma suspicious.
Waving my hand in acknowledgement, I entered the restaurant, freezing when my momma kissed my cheek for show, Shelly and Mrs. Blair following suit. My momma lived the perfect double life: the quintessential society lady on the outside, fucking nightmare on the inside.
“Here’s the jersey you asked for,” I said, handing it over.
“Perfect! Have a seat,” she instructed, gesturing toward the spare chair next to Shel.
Biting my tongue, I reluctantly sat down, playing along, saying, “Didn’t realize everyone would be here. Thought I was just dropping that off.” I pointed to the jersey, my voice perfectly monotone, not betraying my anger.
My momma leaned forward, eyes tight. “Well, we had an interesting call from Shelly here yesterday. She told us that you made quite the announcement at school. Something about some British transfer you’ve become… a little
enamored
with?”
I detected the anger, the threat in her voice, and her blue eyes never moved from mine. My heart thumped in my chest, so hard I felt like it was slamming against my ribcage. She knew about Molly, but I’d be damned if I showed that I was bothered. I had to protect her. I needed to throw my momma off the scent.
“Well?” Mrs. Blair pushed, Shelly leaning on the table to hear my response.
Shrugging, I said dismissively, “Yeah, I’ve been seeing her, casually, but it’s not anything serious. You know me. I’m not the monogamous type. She just proved a good distraction for a while. We’re done now.”
Shelly put her hand on my thigh in excitement. “You mean all this time you’ve been messing with her? Oh my God, Rome, that’s hilarious. The way that girl looks at you, she’s obviously in love! She’ll be devastated when you end it.”
Shelly couldn’t help but laugh, and I wanted to kick her off her chair. Her words, however, circled in my mind—
the way that girl looks at you, she’s obviously in love.
Was she? Was Mol in love with me?
“That had better be the case, Rome. And all these girls, it needs to stop. Shelly should be your only focus now. You’ve fooled around long enough, but it’s time to grow up, time to act responsibly.”
I stayed silent. I wasn’t going to get into a conversation with these three vultures about this friggin’ ridiculous marriage. My momma would know where I stood on the whole damn farce. I’m sure my daddy would have said something, and I wasn’t going to air all that shit out here on this friggin’ terrace, in public.
Shelly moved in closer, and I could tell by the look on her face that she’d believed everything I’d just said. It was the only time I was thankful that I’d whored around in my past; my dismissal of Molly was believable ‘Bullet’ behaviour.
As Shelly placed her hand around my waist, that suffocating feeling crept up my throat, but I had to pretend not to be bothered, even though I felt like overturning the table before me.
Mrs. Blair went on to ask me about football and I gave her some routine answer about wins, practice, and championships. Shelly giggled beside me at fuck knows what and then laid her hand across my chest, planting a damn kiss on my cheek. My jaw clenched at the action, my hands curled into fists. When I looked up, my momma was watching me like a hawk, scowling.
She was on to me. Nothing much got past her and I could practically see the cogs whirring in her head.
“Well, hey, guys! Fancy seeing you here!”
My attention snapped to the side of the restaurant. Ally was standing on the sidewalk, beyond the white fence, arms crossed and glaring at Shelly practically dry-humping my leg.
“Aliyana, always a pleasure,” my momma greeted coldly.
“Aunt Kathryn, lovely to see you too,” she repeated with equal disdain.
“What you doing here, Al?” I asked, hoping she’d get the message to go away, to not involve herself in this shit.
“Well, I was just out shopping with some
friends
.” My heart dropped when I saw the admonishment on her face. “Yeah, Rome, they’re
all
just over the street.” She turned, pointing to a row of stores, and I saw Cass and Lexi standing in front of Molly. They’d clearly been trying to stop her from seeing. Molly, was staring at me with the most haunted fucking look on her face, her eyes completely focused on Shelly’s hand spread on my chest, before moving them to lock onto mine, devastation in her expression.
Shit.
Harshly pulling out of Shelly’s clutch, I got to my feet, barking at Ally, “Is she upset?”
“What the hell do you think? Her whole damn day has just been ruined by you, you stupid idiot!”
“Fuck! What’s she saying? Is she done with me?”
She didn’t answer right away, so I asked again, “Al! Is she done with me? What’s she saying?”
“I think so. I don’t know? She wants to leave; she’s in shock. I’ve tried to tell her that nothing is happening here, but, well…” She pointed to Shelly. “It kind of looks bad from where she’s standing.”
A searing pain shot into my chest and, groaning in fury, I threw my head into my hands.
“Rome, I thought you said she was nothing to you?” Shelly asked from beside me as Ally shot daggers from her eyes.
“Shut the fuck up, Shel!” I snarled, causing Mrs. Blair to gasp and my momma to jump to her feet in outrage.
Casting a glance back at Molly, I saw the crushing grief on her face, and I lost it the moment I saw her run. She took off down the street, hailing for a cab.
Pushing Shelly out of the way, I screamed, “Molly!” as loud as I could. She stopped and stood still on the spot, and I felt myself breathe again. Her shoulders sagged, and she slowly turned around. Our eyes met, and I tried to show her how sorry I was in my gaze, but when I smelled my mother’s strong perfume right beside me and heard her mocking laugh in my ear, I froze.
“I’ll ruin her, Romeo. This is the moment you decide if you want to destroy someone’s life. Believe it, boy. You choose her, I’ll ruin you both.”
Indecision plagued me. My momma always meant what she said. She never stopped until she got what she wanted. I’d seen her in action. When she wanted to be head of some damn committee, she tarnished the reputation of others in the running until she won. When she wanted my grades to be higher than they were in middle school, she blackmailed the teacher until my GPA miraculously increased. If she wanted Molly out of the picture now, all my instincts were telling me she would work out a way to get it done. I couldn’t put Molly through it. Christ, she’d been through enough—her daddy, her grandma, to name just a couple—but I couldn’t lose my girl.
“Rome! Don’t listen to her. She can’t control you anymore!”
I stared at my cousin but couldn’t speak, causing her to groan in exasperation and throw her hands up in the air.
I could practically feel my mother’s sense of victory, the fucking smug smile plastered on her botoxed face, but when Molly’s golden eyes fell to the floor and she caught the attention of a slowing cab, my flight-or-fight instinct kicked in.
Turning to my momma, I said, “It’s over. You won’t come near me or Mol again. If you do, you’ll regret it; that’s a promise
I’ll
make sure I keep.” It was the first time in my whole life I’d stood up to her and the first time I’d ever seen her taken aback, completely speechless.
Jumping over the small white fence, I took off running across the road, dodging oncoming cars, ignoring my momma’s frantic, “Rome, don’t you dare!” from behind me.
Molly jumped into the cab. I raced toward it, unable to bear the thought of her slipping away from me. The cab began to move. Pumping my legs as hard as I could, I ran beside it, pulling at the door handle, frantically begging her to stop, to listen. She looked so fucking broken sitting so small in the back seat. It made my heart ache when she turned her face from me and the cab screeched away, leaving me standing, alone in the middle of the street.
Backing onto the sidewalk, I sprinted for my truck, ignoring the shoppers gawking at me. Ally, Cass, and Lexi were still standing on the sidewalk in front of me. When Cass saw me approach, she stood straight in my path, blocking my route.
“Move, Cass,” I warned, but she ignored me, and, damn, that crazy woman swung her fist straight into my fucking stomach.
“You stupid shithead! How dare you treat Molly like this?”
Winded and bending over slightly, I argued, “It wasn’t what it looked like. I was fuckin’ protecting her. I would never cheat on Mol. For Christ’s sake! She’s all I want!”
“Well, it sure looked like something was going on, and with that skinny bitch, too!” Cass was breathing heavily, and I could see the fury in her red face as she stared me down.
“Cass, honey, leave him be.” Lexi pulled on Cass’s arm, calming her down, before looking at me, shyly. “Molly won’t take this well, Rome. She doesn’t trust people easily and I think you just about broke her heart today when she saw you with Shelly.”
“I know that, Lexi, but hear this: she’s mine and I’ll do anything to protect her. You have my word.”
Even to me, my voice sounded strangled. But Lexi must have heard my sincerity because she smiled and squeezed my arm in support.
Ally pulled me in for a quick hug, whispering, “Go get her.”
That was exactly what I intended to do.
I pulled the truck into park and ran to the backyard of the sorority house, climbing up to Molly’s balcony, only to be met by closed doors.
Shit! She never locked her balcony doors; it was obvious what she was trying to say.
Panicking, I rattled the handle repeatedly and yelled, “Mol! Open the fuck up. I know you’re in there!” I pounded on the doors, almost ripping them off their hinges, but they wouldn’t budge.
I could see a shadowed outline of Mol curled up on her bed, and I needed her to hear me out, but it was clear she wasn’t about to open the doors and let me in.
Climbing back down the balcony, I ran around the house and burst through the front doors. Some jock-looking chick ran into the hallway and began trying to push me back out of the door as I began to climb the stairs.
“
What the hell?
You can’t just come in here… wait!” she shouted, jumping right into my path.
“MOVE!” I yelled. She didn’t, so, picking her up by the waist, I moved her to the side, setting off running once more, the muscled brunette immediately following behind.
Catching sight of Molly’s door, I quickened my pace, the chick behind me screaming, “Molly! Molly! Watch out—”