Read Sweet Rome (Sweet Home) Online
Authors: Tillie Cole
In the future, when you’re older and wiser, you may look back on my departure and have questions, insecurities, and blame me for abandoning you at such a young age—and for that I cannot offer anything that will give you peace. People may tell you I was selfish for leaving you behind, but I believe that it was more selfish to let you live with half a father.
Since your mammy passed, I have lived a sad and lonely life, you and Grandma being the only light in my darkness. I want you to know that I am at peace now and in the happiest place I can imagine—in the arms of your mammy for eternity.
Live life to the fullest, my darling girl, and one day, when God so wishes, I will be waiting to see you again at the gates of paradise, to once again have you jump into my open arms so I can twirl you around, tell you how pretty you are, and introduce you to your mother… who looks just like you.
“So are you to my thoughts as food to life, or as sweet seasoned showers are to the ground.” ~ William Shakespeare
I love you.
Daddy X
I didn’t move for the longest time, reading his words of love and sorrow over and over, abruptly realizing Mol was no longer at my side. Placing the letter down on the bedside table, I looked out to the balcony. She was wrapped in her black robe, just staring out into the night.
She was so damn strong. She came across as this timid little brainiac, but fuck me, the shit she’d survived. She deserved a damn medal.
She was incredible and I loved her beyond words.
Holy Shit!
I loved her… I was madly in love with Molly…
Walking to the balcony, I brushed Molly’s long hair over her shoulder and pressed a kiss to the nape of her neck. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I turned her to face me. Her eyes immediately searched mine—guarded and scared—but all I wanted to do was kiss her, make love to her, show her she was mine and I wasn’t ever leaving her side. I would be different from everyone else she’d ever had in her life.
As though she weighed no more than a feather, I picked her up, walking to her balcony table, watching her swallow nervously as I laid her down and untied her robe. I hadn’t bothered getting dressed since we’d made love, and smoothing a hand up her soft thigh, I held it around my waist and pushed into her without a word.
I never broke from her gaze as I braced myself above her, thrusting into her slowly. I laid kisses all over her face and her neck, smoothing her damp hair from her face, along with the light tears she shed the closer we got to release. Her eyes widened and I could feel she was close, so, pressing my forehead to hers with a final thrust, she broke apart, holding my face in her hands, taking me with her.
I kissed her slowly as I came and, breathless, met her gaze, running my finger down her cheek. “Thank you for showing me the letter, baby. Thank you for trusting me with knowing your past.”
She released a breath, almost as if she’d been holding it all this time, and smiled in relief. “Take me to bed, Romeo.”
I did as she asked, where she immediately fell asleep, leaving me reliving our night over and over in disbelief until I too drifted off.
20
I knocked on my daddy’s office door, body tense and bracing for yet another fight. I hadn’t responded to any of his texts, emails, or voicemails over the last few weeks, hadn’t dared to. I wanted to keep Molly safe.
As predicted, my momma hadn’t been in touch since our showdown at her guerrilla-style lunch at
Lorenzo’s.
Hell, the only damn reason I was here today at this fucking house of horrors was because my daddy had practically begged me… Well, that and morbid curiosity had won out. He’d never spoken to me in such a way before—so kind, so sincere—and I needed to know why he’d had a change in attitude. I prayed it was due to finally seeing reason over this marriage crap. Hell, I’d walk to the end of the earth to see that shit buried.
“Come in!” Joseph Prince shouted from within his seat of power.
Taking a deep breath, I opened the door to see my daddy sitting behind his large mahogany desk, looking all kinds of strange as he tried to crack a smile my way. I actually checked around me to see if someone stood behind me, but the coast was clear—that painful-looking smile was directed at me.
“Rome, please, sit.” My daddy gestured to the seat at his desk. For a while—it was seconds but felt like minutes—I just stared at him, unsure of his intentions. He was calm, collected; this was the face the rest of the world saw, not the extreme disciplinarian I’d always known him to be.
“Rome, sit. I think we need to talk.” Moving slowly, in almost in a dreamlike state, I walked forward and sat down.
Fidgeting in my seat, I looked around the room, just trying to find some sense of reason for why the hell I was here. My father shifted and I focused all my attention back on him, seeing him regard me warily and grasp his hands together.
Rubbing my head, I asked quietly, “Daddy, what’s all this about?”
“I…” He took a breath and went on. “I…” Sighing in frustration, he laid his palms flat on the tabletop. “Your momma told me what happened a couple of weeks ago, and it really made me think about things.”
My heart began to pound in my chest. His tone, his entire demeanor, was off and making me nervous.
“I’m getting older, and your silence toward me of late has given me time to put things in perspective, about how I’ve been toward you and how it’s understandable you’d feel railroaded into continuing the family business.”
Gripping the arms of the chair, the heat of anger beginning to spread into my muscles, I said, “This is a joke, right? Another fucked-up ploy to get me to do your bidding?”
My daddy sat back, seeming affronted. I couldn’t tell if his reaction was genuine or fake. “No, Rome, it was meant to be an olive branch.”
Olive branch? I felt like overturning the desk and screaming,
Olive branch? You’ve belittled me all of my life, beaten me. Momma ignored me, never truly accepted me. Why now? Why change now when all you’ve done for the last few months is hound me to marry Shelly?
But I didn’t. I just stared at him, completely shocked, unable to move.
That was until he said, “Your momma told me about your girlfriend, the British girl you’ve been seeing.” And the overwhelming need to protect Molly took root, my muscles remembering how to function.
Abruptly leaning forward, I warned, “You leave her the hell out of anything going on between us. She doesn’t need to be involved in our shit.”
Graying brown eyebrows rose, and he put his hands up in surrender. “Relax, it’s not want you think.”
“What’s not?” I hissed, suspicion creeping its way into my brain.
“Me and your momma have been talking, and we want to meet her, see what all the fuss is about. Try to be more… accommodating to you.”
I was certain I’d entered the fucking
Twilight Zone
. My folks wanted to meet Mol… For me?
“Bullshit,” I answered in response, convinced this was just a really elaborate scam.
“It’s not—”
“Why would momma want to meet her? She told me she’d ruin us, destroy Mol. Why now, why show an interest now?” I interrupted.
Clearing his throat, my daddy agreed. “I admit, your momma took some convincing, but
I
want to meet her. Bring her to the house tomorrow for dinner.”
Stony resolve set in my stomach. “Hell no.”
Daddy’s facial muscles began to twitch. I knew he was about blow. I sat there waiting… but his anger never came. He was massively fucking with my mind.
“Look, Rome, I understand why you don’t want to dine here with us. I’m beginning to see we’ve not done right by you. And I get why bringing your lady friend may be causing you some turmoil, but I’m reaching out… You’re my only son, my only child.”
“I… I…” I stuttered, not knowing what to say.
Daddy caught my confusion and continued. “I’ve been too caught up in business, in making Prince Oil the best it can be, but in doing that I’ve neglected you. I haven’t taken the time to get to know you, to really understand who you are. I want that to change, starting with a chance to meet your girlfriend. Your first official girlfriend, if I’m not mistaken?” He waited for my answer, so I gave a curt nod.
An unfamiliar warmth smothered my chest and I didn’t know how to deal. Conflicted emotions duelled in my mind. I’d wanted for so long for my daddy to want me. He called me his son… with affection. Half of me could only think about how amazing that felt, but the other half screamed at me not to believe him. Granted he’d never tried this tactic before—being normal,
fatherly
—but it wouldn’t be the first time I’d been lured into the fire by their promises, only to be burned when I took a chance and leapt into the furnace.
Sighing loudly, my daddy said, “Go home, ask your girl, and let me know as soon as possible, but don’t make me wait too long. If you want to build bridges, you need to agree to this as a first step. You need to meet me halfway, but I won’t wait forever.”
“Momma will treat her badly. I won’t have that,” I remarked, my voice slightly calmer now, my mind actually considering what he’d offered.
“I’ll have words. She won’t say a thing,” he assured. I stayed silent, unable to look anywhere but, unseeing, at my hands on my lap.
“Rome. I know you don’t have a close relationship with your momma. She’s never been able to get over what I did. But you’re mine, blood of my blood, and I got a lot of penance to serve for the way I’ve done you wrong.” Sitting back in his chair, he concluded. “I’m a physical and intolerant man, and all this marriage talk of late has pushed me to the brink. Let’s start afresh… That is if you want to be part of our lives.”
Abruptly standing from my seat, unaware of how the fuck to digest all this crap coming my way, I said, “I’ll speak to Mol and let you know.”
I didn’t wait for his reply, but halfway to the door, I looked back and asked, “What about Shel and Mr. Blair? What you going to say to them?”
A smile spread on his lips, one that I couldn’t read. Doubt flooded my mind once more. “I’ll handle them. Don’t worry,” he dismissed, before saying, “Again, don’t keep me waiting too long.”
Without another word, I walked to the front entrance, catching sight of my momma in the parlor, her usual drink in hand, staring out the large windows… and all before two in the afternoon. I didn’t even bother to stop and say hello. My daddy may have been trying to save what scraps were left of our relationship, but there was no love lost on Momma’s part.
I drove furiously down the freeway, trying to decipher whether or not this was a trick. I never wanted Molly tied up in the constant war between my folks and me, but what if this was genuine? All I’d wanted was for my folks to want me, and if this was my only chance, should I take it? It was probably all a load of crap, wasn’t it? A convincing—and disturbing—ruse for some other plan… Argh, FUCK! I just didn’t know! Didn’t know if I should risk it.
My daddy was playing with my emotions. He’d always known I strived for his approval; I just wasn’t sure if he really wanted to start again or if he was being truly fucked up and using those emotions against me. My mind was in turmoil and there was only one person to calm me down, to settle me. I needed to see my girl.
21
I took one last look at myself in the mirror: black slacks and a white shirt. I looked like a total dick. I reached for my wallet and keys and headed out my bedroom door.
Austin was in the TV room, and I caught his eye as I passed. “You outta here?” he shouted out to me.
Standing in the doorway, my arms holding too tight to the wooden frame, I sighed, “Yeah.” Looking back at my best friend, I asked, “Hell, man, am I doing the right thing?”
Carillo sat forward and shrugged. “I told you last night, my instinct would be to tell you not to go, but folks can change, Rome. I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe your daddy has had some divine epiphany or some shit, you know, seen the light?” The fucker just laughed at that. I couldn’t help but smile along with him, despite my nervous mood. “One thing’s for certain. You’ll find out soon enough,” he said, his face suddenly serious.
Nodding, I slapped the doorframe twice. “I’m out.”
“Good luck, man.”
Getting into my truck, I tried to stay calm. Something in my gut told me this was all wrong, but hell, Mol had been so damn insistent. I knew she wanted me to fix the problems with my folks. She didn’t have family and didn’t want that same situation for me. But I hadn’t told her much about my past, the relationship I had with my parents. She knew they sometimes hit me—mostly in my past—belittled me, forced me to put my duty above my dreams, but she didn’t know the extent of abuse I’d suffered at their hands, didn’t know why I’d been treated with such cruelty. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her. I hadn’t ever told anyone… I was ashamed.
Pulling in front of her sorority house, I almost just called the whole thing off. I’d nearly done that several times, but Mol’s words from yesterday still played on my mind.
* * *
As soon as I left my folks’ place, I drove straight to Mol’s sorority house and climbed up to the balcony where she sat surrounded by her laptop and all her books.
“Still working hard I see,” I said as I finished kissing my girl hello.
“Yeah. Professor Ross was told this morning that we have a timeslot of when we need to present the paper in Oxford—we go in a few months.” Her excited smile was huge.
Frowning, I sat forward on the chair I’d occupied. “You’re going to England in a few months? Since when?”
“Since always…” Mol went to explain that she needed to go do the presentation at Oxford University to help her secure a PhD program, but I really didn’t want her to go. She promised to be back for the championship games though, so I’d just have to suck it up when the time came. It was just one more bastard thing to mess up my day.
My girl moved toward me, seeing my drop in mood, and sat on my lap.
“What’s wrong?”