Sweet Ruin (46 page)

“Of course I am! That’s exactly how I know it’s meaningless! Why can’t you get that through your head?”

Her tears kept spilling. She wasn’t normally a crier, but she was about to lose the second person she’d ever wanted to keep. Should she have fought more for Thad when she’d had the chance? Desperate, she told Rune, “If you sleep with other people, I vow to the Lore I will too.”

“Gods damn it, do you never learn? You’re acting like a child! Fine. Fuck other males. You won’t coerce me with yet another vow!”

“When I return home from my dates, will you ask if my lays satisfied me? You’ll probably be put out when I’m full of another’s blood and can’t take any of yours.”

He drew his head back, as if this was insane talk. “Again, there’s no
need
for you to drink from another! Why would you even consider that? Your eyes can grow red if you drink indiscriminately.”

“Then I’d better stick with a few trusted sources.”

“And how will that work? You have black blood. I don’t think your bite will be poisonous, but would you risk it? You either drink me—or you drink others. You can’t have it both ways.”

“Your blood will run its course in a day or two. If your job calls you away too many nights, I’ll have to share suppers with someone else.” A lie. Once he slept with Meliai, she would never take from him again.

What if she dreamed of him with the nymph? Jo would lose her ever-loving shit.

He gritted his teeth. “For future reference, mate, this is
not
how to deal with me. Emotional manipulation and tears? Ultimatums and childlike behavior? You are pushing every wrong button. All you’ve done is compound my anger and reinforce my intentions.” He looked at her like she was pathetic. “I don’t even recognize you.”

She
felt
pathetic. But she had all these unfamiliar emotions, and no experience with them. No outlet. Her body flickered from solid to air.

“Why are you losing control like this?”

“Control?
Control?
” She flew at him, solidifying to beat on his chest. “You asshole! You’re breaking my heart, and you can’t even see you’re ending us!”

He snatched her wrists, capturing her hands against him. “Ending?” His voice turned tender, but it was menacing at the same time. “Oh, Josephine, there is no
ending
. We’re bonded mates now, so you’re stuck with me.
Eternally
. That’s why I’m confident you’ll get past this.”

She wrenched her hands free. “You’re wrong!”

“Do you really think you can exist without the pleasure I give you? Or the companionship? You were alone for the last fourteen years. How’d that work out for you?”

She beat on him some more. “Do
you
really think I’ll let you give me a steady stream of new nightmares? I’d rather starve than relive all your late nights ‘at work.’ ”

He bit out, “I
want
you to dream my memories of this, to experience what it’s like feeling utterly
nothing—
”

“Rune?” Meliai walked outside, her gauzy skirt whipping in the winds.

Jo turned away so the nymph wouldn’t see her tears. She reminded herself that Rune—Ruin—was about to be in the rearview mirror. But that only made her cry more.

“How much longer?” Meliai asked. Impatient for her stud? “It’s now or never.”

“On my way.” He turned to Jo, pulling her close to kiss her, but she averted her face.

He murmured, “From my vantage, I’ve got to weigh whether you’ll be more angry I swived a nymph—or that I let your brother suffer. You’re about to learn a lesson I grasped very early: one measly fuck can equal something you want badly.”

Maybe that was true. Maybe she wasn’t being rational. But it was difficult to stay rational—when she felt like she was being throat punched. She murmured back, “How is this different from your past? You’ll be having sex in exchange for something. You’re going to be a whore again, only this time there’ll be no excuse for it.”

He ground his teeth so hard that muscle ticked in his wide jaw.

“Obviously I was wrong when I said you weren’t that man anymore,” she continued. “But then, I
am
naïve.”

At her ear, he grated, “If it makes you feel better, I can honestly say I’ll be thinking of you.”

He straightened, then started toward Meliai. They strolled off together, leaving Jo behind.

Knife in gut. Knife in gut. Knife in gut.

That’s when a realization hit her like a Valkyrie’s fist:
I’m completely in love with that prick.

Tears ran freely down her face. Of all the times for her to recognize this . . .

She knew she was in love—because nothing else could hurt this much. Nothing ever had, except for when she’d left Thad behind.

Rune glanced back at her one last time before turning a corner.

She could get another lover, but she couldn’t get another Rune.

SIXTY

D
alli stopped Rune and Meliai in the corridor. “What in the gods’ names are you doing?”

He flicked his hand at Meliai. “Her, apparently.”

Dalli told the other nymph, “Wait in your room. I need to speak to him.”

Meliai asked him, “Any requests for lingerie?”

“Whatever’s quickest.”

“Eager. I like it.” Meliai traipsed away.

When they were alone, Dalli said, “Have I heard correctly—you brought Josephine here?”

He nodded. “She’s truly my mate, Dalli.”

“Then what could possess you to do this?”

“Meliai has information I need to free Josephine’s brother from a dangerous situation. I’ve been tasked with getting him back.” Success would go a long way toward soothing his mate’s feelings. She’d see that Rune’s means were often an efficient solution to a problem. She would better understand
him
.

“You expect her to wait outside while you gather your information?” Dalli was incredulous.

“I brought Josephine with me because she vowed to the Lore she wouldn’t drink again—ever—unless she was with me on this mission. So unless you can force Meliai to cooperate with me, I don’t have much of a choice.” He knew Dalli couldn’t. Despite her age, her authority was limited. The Nymphae power hierarchies weren’t like those in other factions.

“If I could force her to tell you, I would.”

“Then my path is clear. You know I won’t enjoy this. Mentally, I won’t even be there. I damn sure won’t come.” He’d have to fantasize about Josephine to stay hard.

“Rune,
I
know you won’t be there—your eyes are already glazing over—but others can’t understand that. There’s got to be another way.”

“Should I leave Josephine’s brother in danger? Now my brother as well? You’ve never encountered a creature who loves her sibling more. And besides, she needs to accept this is what I do. Damn it, I’m too old to change!”

Even if she’s my destined female.
The one he’d never hoped to have.

“You’re about to harm your relationship irreparably.”

“And what do you think the death of her brother would do?” He lowered his voice even more. “While I’m standing here talking to you, a seventeen-year-old boy is in Val Hall, trapped behind the wraiths. I can’t get to him without Meliai’s information on the Scourge.”

“You’re going up against the Valkyries?”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to protect my new family.” His mission for the Møriør seemed far removed.

Dalli exhaled. “Meliai used to repair Val Hall’s oaks from lightning damage. She could know of a way in.”

“Good. Will you go talk to Josephine and smooth things over? Make her understand this will have no more effect on me than tying my shoe.”

“I’ll do what I can.”

“She isn’t feeling . . . She isn’t doing well.” Those blood tears tracking down her face had wrecked him. “Just watch out for her.” He headed to Meliai’s chambers. Her door was open, and the nymph was lighting candles.

How bloody romantic. The cloying smoke mingled with the overblown perfumes in her room. “Give me your vow you have what I seek.” He shut the door behind him. Amid this haze, he lost Josephine’s reassuring scent.

“My vow, is it?” Meliai grinned coyly. “Would it be so awful to sleep with me? If I’m lying, you’ll still get the lay of your lifetime.”

At his unbending expression, she said, “Very well. I vow to the Lore I possess something you could use to get past the wraiths.” She shrugged out of her robe, leaving her in only a transparent teddy.

Josephine, with every inch of her body covered in bandages, was sexier to him.

“I should warn you, I’ve been satisfied dozens of times today.” Meliai reclined on her bed. “You’re going to have to work for it. It’ll take hours and hours and hours.” She reached for a goblet of wine on her bedstand. “Do strip off all your clothes.”

He ground his fangs, longing to strangle this bitch—not pleasure her. Pride stinging, he removed his bow and quiver. How triumphant did he feel right now? He kicked off his boots and yanked his shirt over his head.

“Very nice.” She watched him avidly, like his brothel patrons of old.

He felt as much disgust for her as he had for his first customer, a hideous serpent shifter with keyhole pupils, slits for nostrils, and a scaling bald head.

Please or perish.
Though the demon in him had bayed for Magh’s throat between its fangs, the fey in him had reasoned that fucking the serpent female was a mindless biological function. Servicing her body with his meant nothing.
She
meant nothing.

A freeing calm had descended over him. He’d become untouchable:
I’m not even here.

Though the serpent’s forked tongue had flicked across his throat, Rune’s slanted grin never wavered. “Ah, dove, the things I plan to do to you. . . .”

He’d gotten through that; he could do this.
Turn your mind from this room, this situation.
That familiar coldness washed over him.

He’d told Josephine he’d be thinking of her. He should have told her the whole truth:
I’ll be holding on to you.
He’d cling to what he felt for her.

Because right now his heart was cold ash.

If he did this, would he extinguish what Josephine felt
for him
? She’d seen his memories and had accepted his past—until tonight.
“You’re going to be a whore again, only this time there’ll be no excuse for it.”

Magh’s words:
“You’ve been a whore for so long, I thought we should make it official.”

With a smug look over the rim of her goblet, Meliai said, “I can’t wait to see your cock. It’s supposed to be legendary.”

“It’s the only part that matters, right, dove?” As Rune removed his pants, one thought stood out:
I never
stopped
being a whore.

SIXTY-ONE

R
une is ruin.

Jo paced outside the tree entryway, her hands balled into fists. She needed to go somewhere and scream. What was so weird—if she left, Rune would come find her.
After.
He’d told her he would never let her go, and she believed him.

Last night, before they’d made love under beckoning stars, he’d brushed his fingers over her cheekbones and assured her he had a plan B.

He’d known screwing the nymph was a possibility.

A flash of a dream hit her, a snippet from his memories. He’d been sitting back in his chair in Orion’s stronghold. “If one of my tarts is stupid enough to want more,” he’d told his allies, “then she deserves all the heartache in the worlds.”

Huh. This stupid tart got what she deserves.

A beautiful blonde loitered by the entrance, watching her intently. Could that be Dalli, Rune’s “friend with benefits”? Add some more humiliation to the pile. Jo was about to tell her to go fuck herself with an oak splinter when she scented a demon.

Deshazior??

He’d just traced inside the barroom! Standing taller than everyone else, he seemed to scent her as well, lifting his face, then turning toward her outside.

Jo had a friend! “Desh!”

He grinned and traced to her. “Hello, little luv!” He wrapped his brawny arms around her and squeezed.

“You don’t know how happy I am to see you!”

“Why these tears?” He cleared his throat and backed up a step. “These black, poisonous tears?”