Sweet Spot (19 page)

Hawk pushed down his jeans and briefs and thrust into her. She arched back, bracing herself with her arms. Her eyes fluttered closed.

He moved in and out of her, taking her higher and higher. One of his hands still rubbed her center, while the other played with her breasts. The room was silent except for the sound of their breathing and her gasps as she got closer and closer to her orgasm.

“Hawk,” she breathed and wrapped her legs around his hips. “Harder.”

She meant all of it. His touch, the way he filled her over and over again. Harder and faster, taking her until she had no choice but to get lost in a convulsion of pleasure and liquid release.

He followed immediately, groaning her name and shuddering. Then they were still.

After a couple of steadying breaths, she began to be aware of the fact that she was naked…on his kitchen table. She opened her eyes and found him watching her.

“You eat breakfast here,” she said.

He smiled. “I know.”

“You might want to clean it before tomorrow morning.”

He laughed and kissed her. “You’re amazing.”

“So I’ve heard. It’s been in all the papers. I’m thinking of getting cards printed up.”

He brushed her hair off her face. “Thank you.”

“For?”

“Everything.”

She sighed and knew she could do this with him forever. Not just the sex, but all of it. Looking into his eyes, being close, sharing. Her stomach growled.

He grinned. “Not eating much these days?”

“It’s been a little stressful.”

“How about salmon?”

“Sounds good.”

He stepped back and she slid to the floor. He helped her find her clothes, then opened the wine while she dressed. All he’d had to do was refasten his jeans and pull up the zipper. Men had it so easy. Not that she was complaining.

AFTER DINNER, Nicole curled up next to Hawk on the sofa.

“We should probably fight now,” she told him.

“Is that next on our list?”

“We have a lot to talk about.”

“Brittany.”

“Mostly.” She put her hand on his thigh. “Your daughter is spoiled and a little immature.”

“I know.”

That surprised her. “I thought you’d deny it.”

“I want to, but I can’t. I didn’t set out for her to be that way. Serena did a better job with balance than I did. Once she was gone, it was just Brittany and me. Sometimes I did what was easy rather than what was right.”

His admission was unexpected. “So you’re saying it’s all your fault?”

“Part of it is my fault. She’s not a bad kid.”

“I agree, but she’s used to getting her way and Raoul loves her enough to go along with what she says.” She risked the good mood and said, “I don’t think they should get married.”

“I agree, but once she turns eighteen, I can’t stop her from doing anything.”

Nicole wasn’t so sure. If Hawk got serious about being honest with Brittany, that might change things. Threatening Raoul wouldn’t work—he was too honorable.

“This is all a mess,” she said. “You’re going to have to take one of the puppies to help make up for putting me through this.”

“I’ll take the boy.”

“Of course. I’m not even surprised.”

She sat up and reached for the bottle of wine. As she moved, she caught sight of the porcelain rabbits on the coffee table and the aging silk flower arrangement. This was still Serena’s house and no amount of sex on the kitchen table was going to change that. Her ghost was a tangible presence everywhere. Was that on purpose?

“Have you brought a lot of women here?” she asked.

Hawk frowned. “What?”

“Other women. You’ve had a couple of serious relationships since you lost Serena. Did you bring any of your lady friends here?”

“First, I don’t call them my lady friends. Second, I’ve been careful about who I introduce to Brittany. But yes, one or two have been over. Why?”

“I just wondered.”

She wasn’t comfortable simply asking her questions. Like did he keep this house this way because he was a guy and it never occurred to him to paint and box up some of the memories, or was he trying to warn off all who entered? Did he like this still being Serena’s house?

Under other circumstances, she wouldn’t much care about the answers, but she was in love with Hawk so they mattered a lot. Had she fallen for a wonderful man only to lose him to a ghost, or was there a chance?

“I told Brittany she doesn’t get to pout much longer,” Nicole said, choosing safety over knowledge and changing the subject. “She’s going to have to talk to you the next time you come over.”

He leaned back and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “When did everything change? She used to be my little girl. I used to be her world. That’s all gone.”

“She’s growing up.”

“I don’t want to lose her.”

“She’s not lost. It’s just different.”

“I don’t like different.”

“You don’t get to pick.”

“What am I supposed to say to her?” he asked.

“That you love her and you’ll work it out.”

“I want to beat the crap out of Raoul.”

“Sorry, no. It took both of them to do this.”

“She’s my daughter.”

Which said everything, Nicole thought. Brittany was family and she mattered more than anything.

She was surprised at the ache in her chest, then realized the cause. She wanted someone to feel that way about her. She wanted to be loved. And not just by anyone, but by Hawk.

An impossible situation, she thought. Was that just like her or what?

“I should be getting back,” she said. “I don’t want to leave them alone late at night.”

“The damage has been done.”

“I know, but I’m responsible. I can’t help myself. It’s like a disease. One day I’m going to learn to embrace my inner control freak.”

“I like your inner control freak.”

He walked her to her car and kissed her. The familiar need rose up inside but she ignored it. As much as she would like nothing more than intimate time with Hawk, she really did want to get home.

“Rain check?” she asked.

He nipped her earlobe. “Sure. This is Seattle. It rains all the time.”

“No, a rain check works the other way. When it’s not raining.”

“I don’t care about the weather.”

She laughed and then got in her car. He watched her pull away. She knew because she was looking at him in the mirror.

He was a good guy, she thought, wondering what would happen now. Did anyone stand a chance against the memories Serena had left behind? Sure Hawk had wanted to date, but that wasn’t the same as falling in love. He’d already experienced everything he wanted—why would he want to do it again?

She told herself not to go there. That they were just at the beginning of their journey. She shouldn’t borrow trouble.

She managed to work in a couple more clichés before she pulled into her garage, turned off the car, then walked into the house. It was quiet and dark, but it was also nearly ten so she expected that. She didn’t turn on any lights on her way to check on Sheila, so she almost didn’t see the piece of notebook paper on the kitchen table. Once she spotted it, she flipped on the lights.

She picked up the note and read it, then read it again before letting the paper fall to the floor. She blindly reached for the phone. She was too stunned to know what to think. This couldn’t be happening.

Hawk picked up on the first ring.

“They’re gone,” she said. “They ran off together. They have a fake ID for Brittany and they’re going to get married.”

“At least they took the newer, more reliable vehicle,” Nicole muttered to herself as she ran outside and stood impatiently on the porch. She’d already called Hawk and knew he would be over any second.

Sure enough, his truck rounded the corner and screeched to a stop behind Raoul’s car.

“Did you know about this?” he yelled as he got out of the truck and jogged down the front path.

She blinked. “What? No. Are you serious? You’re asking me if I knew they were running away together? As if I’d keep that from you?”

“Why not? You didn’t tell me Brittany was pregnant.”

She was both outraged and aware he had a point. “That was different.”

“How?”

“It just was. When you found out wasn’t going to change the facts. She asked me to let her be the one to give you the information. I didn’t agree, but I went along with it. I would never go along with this plan.”

“So you would have told me because you don’t like what they’re doing, but if you’d approved, you would have kept it quiet.”

He was furious. She could see the anger in his eyes, but she couldn’t figure out why she was the bad guy. “You tell me I don’t know what I’m doing and at the same time, complain that I’m not acting responsibly. You have to pick, Hawk. Either I’m on your team or I’m not.”

“You let her go.”

“I didn’t.”

“You let her go the way you let Jesse go.”

She felt as if she’d been slapped. “You have no right to compare these situations. For one thing, Jesse is my sister, not my daughter, and for another, she’s over twenty-one. Brittany is only seventeen.”

“We have to find them.”

He walked past her and went into the house. Nicole trailed after him, feeling hurt and confused. They’d just spent an amazing few hours together. How could he have held her and touched her and made love with her, then turn on her like this?

He walked through the house, as if they were still there and somehow Nicole had missed them. When he walked into the kitchen, she handed him the note.

“Not that it matters,” she said, “but this was waiting here when I got back.”

“And you didn’t know.”

She sighed. “No matter how many times you ask me that question, I’m not changing my answer.”

He walked to the phone, picked it up and dialed 9-1-1. “My seventeen-year-old daughter is missing. I need to speak to the police.”

NICOLE’S HOUSE was overrun within the hour. There were police everywhere, asking questions, going over Brittany and Raoul’s rooms, taking notes and making calls. Nicole knew Hawk had called in more than a few favors to get this much action so fast.

She made coffee while Hawk told the officers everything he knew. The note was examined and options discussed.

“She’s going to marry him,” Hawk said during a lull in questioning.

Nicole poured him more coffee. “She can’t. She’s underage. Using a fake ID isn’t going to make the marriage legal. I’m surprised Raoul didn’t already think of that.”

“Maybe they both did,” Hawk muttered. “Maybe they’re hoping that a fake marriage will convince me to let them get married for real.”

“So tell them no.”

He looked at her, then away, making her wonder how often he refused his daughter anything. He saw her as the problem, maybe because he couldn’t see the real one…himself. Nicole thought maybe she’d been too hard on Jesse, but Hawk was guilty of being too easy on Brittany. It turns out either mistake caused disastrous consequences.

“They’re not going to look for Raoul,” Hawk told her. “He’s over eighteen and has left willingly. There’s nothing they can do. Brittany is underage, so she can’t just disappear.” He lowered his voice. “I told them she was pregnant. They want to know if I want to press charges against Raoul for sleeping with her.”

Nicole stared at him, waiting for him to say he wouldn’t. When he was silent, she moved closer to the table and glared at him.

“Don’t even think about it,” she told him, her body shaking with anger. “He was seventeen when this whole thing started. He’s her boyfriend, not some child abuser and you know it. He was just doing what teenagers have been doing since the beginning of time, including you. That boy is not to blame and he’s not the problem.”

“Meaning Brittany is?” Hawk asked, coming to his feet.

“No. I didn’t mean that. Everything is a mess and it all has to change, starting with your past. Be honest with her and with yourself. Your life with Serena wasn’t perfect. Brittany deserves to know that.”

His gaze narrowed. “You leave my wife out of it.”

Wife. Why did he have to say it like that? “I’m not saying she was the devil, Hawk. I’m saying she was human. That there were times when the marriage was great and times when each of you hated the other. It was two people who loved each other living together in reality. With good times and bad times. Little birds didn’t show up in the morning to sing and help you dress. It was life, not a fantasy. But you’ve been unwilling to let Brittany see any of that, so now she assumes that she’s going to relive something magical.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said as he turned away and walked out of the kitchen.

NICOLE AND HAWK avoided each other for the rest of the night. After the police left, she went into her room and closed the door. She wasn’t sure where he slept, but he was still there in the morning.

She walked into the kitchen and found him pouring fresh coffee. They looked at each other. She was hoping for some hint of reconciliation or compromise in his gaze, but it was like staring at a stranger.

“I have to get to school,” he said. “You’ll let me know if you hear anything?”

She nodded.

“I’ll do the same.” He took another drink of coffee, then he left.

Nicole sank onto one of the kitchen chairs and wondered how everything had gotten so messed up. Then she reached for the phone and dialed a familiar number.

“What are you doing after you drop off Amy at school?” she asked her sister.

“Coming to see you,” Claire said.

“Good answer.”

FORTY MINUTES LATER Claire was stretched out on the sectional, her feet propped up as she rested her hand on her growing belly.

“I don’t get it,” Claire said, then sipped her herbal tea. “Why is Hawk mad at you?”

“Because I’m an easy target. Because he can’t seem to blame himself or Brittany or circumstances. Because he can’t see reality.” Nicole leaned back in the club chair and sighed. “Can I pick ’em or what?”

“It’s not that bad.”

“His daughter is pregnant and not speaking to him. The boy who got her pregnant is living with me. Hawk thinks I knew about them running away and didn’t tell him and he pointed out I let Jesse go without a fight. Why wouldn’t I do the same with them?”

“Because it’s not the same,” Claire said. “Are you sure you like this guy? He sounds like a real jerk.”

“He’s not. He’s a worried father.”

“You’re making excuses for him. That can only mean one thing.”

“I know.”

“You like him.”

Nicole looked at her sister. “I’m in love with him.”

Claire grinned. “If I could jump up easily, I would. Really? That’s so great.”

“No, it’s not. It’s a mess and makes the disaster that was my marriage to Drew look positively successful by comparison.”

“I don’t believe that.”

Nicole didn’t snap at her sister, even though that was her first instinct. For one thing, Claire genuinely loved her and there weren’t enough people with that attribute hanging around her world. For another, Claire led with her heart. She believed the best of people, no matter what. She’d been surprisingly sheltered in her life. Nicole was the cynic in the family.

“Whatever happens with Brittany, Hawk’s going to blame me,” Nicole said. “Because it can’t be his precious daughter’s fault or even his own.”

“When this gets resolved, and it will, you two can move on.”

Nicole shook her head. “He’s still in love with his late wife. She’s been gone about five years and their house is exactly how she left it. Her stuff is everywhere. It’s like she went to get milk and will be home any second. I wouldn’t expect him to pretend she didn’t exist, but there should have been some changes after all this time.”

“People deal with grief differently.”

Nicole clenched her jaw. “You are the most annoying person on the planet. Stop acting like the middle child.”

“I would be a great middle child.”

“We’re twins. We’re a team. Take my side.”

“Hawk is a big fat poophead.”

Nicole couldn’t help laughing. “Oh, he’s going to run scared now. You’re calling him a poophead.”

“I learned that from Amy.”

The mention of Wyatt’s daughter reminded Nicole of Brittany and her humor faded. “I don’t actually care about any of this,” she admitted. “What kills me is Hawk’s attitude. He can’t or won’t see the truth. I would be willing to accept the problems if he saw them, too. But that’s not his style.”

“You love him. You’re going to have to figure something out.”

“I guess.”

“Nicole, falling in love is a big deal.”

“It’s less of one when the guy in question isn’t interested.”

“Is that what you think?”

“I don’t know. He likes me. He wants me in bed.”

“That’s a start.”

“I’m not sure it’s enough of one.” She sighed. “I married Drew for all the wrong reasons. I knew I was in a rut. I had so much responsibility all the time. I never got a chance to be a kid. Not really. Drew was the opposite of that. He couldn’t take responsibility for anything. I saw a flake and thought he was a free spirit. I saw an inability to commit to anything and thought it was spontaneity. I thought he’d be good for me.”

“And he broke your heart.”

“That’s the problem. He didn’t. When he proposed, I accepted, not because I loved him more than anything, but because I didn’t think anyone else would ask. I didn’t want to die alone.”

Claire had always been the emotionally sensitive one of the sisters and her eyes filled up with tears. “Oh, Nicole. I wish you’d called me and talked to me.”

“I hated you then, remember?”

Claire dismissed that reality with a flick of her fingers. “Still, I would have listened.”

Nicole didn’t bother pointing out she wouldn’t have called. “I knew the marriage was a mistake within the first couple of months, but I was too proud to say anything or do anything. So we stayed together. By the time he slept with Jesse, I was emotionally divorced already. It still hurt, but I was so much more angry at her than him. That says something.”

“I know. So it’s different with Hawk?”

Nicole thought about the sexy, stubborn, difficult, amazing man she’d gotten to know over the past few months.

“More than different. Hawk makes me crazy in the best way possible. I just have to be around him and I can’t catch my breath. He makes me laugh, we talk about stuff. He’s fun and responsible. He cares so much about his kids and yet he has an ego the size of the Titanic. He’s…”

“Perfect.”

“No, but he’s perfect for me.”

Claire clutched her tea. “I’m going to cry again.”

“That’s getting really boring.”

“You try being pregnant. The hormones are a nightmare. Sometimes I feel like a character in a horror movie. My point is, you’ll get through this. The situation with Brittany will be resolved and then you and Hawk can get back to being in love.”

It hurt to think the truth, let alone say it, but Nicole wasn’t going to lie to herself. “He’s not in love. He likes me, but I’m no Serena.”

“Does he want a replacement for her?”

“I don’t think he wants anything romantically. In his mind, he’s had it all. A wife, a kid, a great career. He’s not interested in more children and he’s not looking to get serious.” He was everything she wanted and nothing she could have.

“Maybe he’ll change his mind.”

“Maybe.” Nicole wasn’t holding her breath for the possibility.

“You can’t give up hope.”

Nicole shook her head. “You can’t give up hope. I’m very comfortable with the process.”

“You’re going to walk away?”

“I’m going to see how this plays out. That’s all I can do.”

NICOLE HAD a restless day. She ended up cleaning bathrooms, which only went to show how bad things were. She hated cleaning bathrooms. But it beat wandering from room to room, wondering what was happening with Raoul and Brittany and wishing Hawk would call and say he wasn’t mad at her anymore.

Wanting to hear from him was so pathetic, she told herself. She was a totally self-sufficient, self-actualized woman. She’d been successfully running the family business since she was a teenager. She didn’t need Hawk’s approval. So what if he was blaming her rather than taking responsibility himself? She didn’t care.