Swish (5 page)

Christ.

He couldn't tell his brothers yet.

This was either the best or the stupidest thing he'd done in his life, and Thomas still wasn't sure which.

There was one thing for certain: his idea about getting over Alex by sleeping with him hadn't worked. Instead, Alex was on Thomas's mind even more as he went through the work week with an eye on Thursday, not Friday.

He was in the bar that Wednesday evening with his brothers and friends. Well, mostly his brothers' friends, though they had become his own over the last year. As he thought, Thomas tuned them out for the most part. He was too busy thinking about the possibilities for tomorrow.

Maybe they'd see each other and there'd be another spark of chemistry.

But...

His stomach twisted to think of it, but maybe that was all Alex had ever wanted.

“Huh? Yeah,” Thomas agreed when he heard his name, looking around at the others.

Floyd was chuckling at him. “You're completely out of it, man. You all right?”

Behind the teasing eyes, there was concern from Chase's boss. Floyd owned Chase's tattoo shop, and he'd come around to hang out with the rest of them these days. “Oh, yeah, I'm fine,” he assured him.

“You sure?”

Thomas hesitated for a moment, then shook his head with a smile. If he was going to break down and talk to someone, it should be his brothers. Floyd was the friend he most loosely knew. “Yeah, I'm fine,” he said. “But thanks.”

Floyd nodded, then glanced back at the table. “They went off on a tangent. Ashley thinks hockey came from Scotland. They're Googling it.”

“Oh, Jesus, he challenged Cam?” Thomas laughed. “And Kevin? Good luck.”

Ashley, Ryan, Kevin, and Cam were all hunched around Jackson's phone. Noah and Chase rolled their eyes at each other.

“Fuckin' eh?” Kevin exclaimed when the page loaded, and Thomas laughed quietly. He wasn't particularly close to these guys, but at least he had friends to see every week. He was luckier than most. He tried to pay attention as the argument was won with the power of technology.

“How did you guys know you were right for each other?”

It was a weird question to ask his parents, but Alex was curious. He'd been thinking more about his ideas around romance and marriage, and the inevitable failures of both. His parents
had
been married for almost three decades now.

“Oh, that's easy,” his father laughed as he leaned back in his chair. “I met your mother and I wanted to pull my hair out right away.”

She rolled her eyes and pretended to throw her newspaper in his direction while Alex laughed. “And I thought he needed swatting like a dog trying to get into the pantry.”

They were being lighthearted, and Alex's heart almost hurt. This kind of love was something totally different from what he saw every day on the job.

It was the kind of tender laughter forged by intimacy that he thought he might have shared for a minute with Thomas...

But that was moving way too fast. He swallowed and refocused on them.

He needed a more serious answer. Dad cleared his throat and straightened up when Mom gave him a stern look.

“I think it's what they always say – we just knew. But there was a lot of work that went in behind the scenes to making it work. Compromises, learning to live with differences. And if those differences had been
too
great...”

“We never would have made it this long,” Mom agreed.

That was a lot more helpful. “What do you mean? Life values?”

“Yes, and plans. We both wanted a kid, and to raise him a certain way. We wanted to live in the same kind of place and share the same kind of values.”

“Things are different for you, though,” Dad spoke up. “I assume you're still dating other men...”

Alex laughed, and so did his parents. “Yeah, that hasn't changed.”

“Guys can be a little different, you know. We need a little more time to grow up. You're not even halfway through your twenties. Don't feel pressured to settle down. It was normal while we were young, but you can get away with being single a lot longer, until you find the
right
one.”

Alex nodded. “It... wasn't just about me,” he laughed, lying through his teeth. “Just this weird case.”

“Another cheating one?”

“Yeah.” Lexy hadn't let him finish the investigation yet. She wanted more, and it was dragging at his newly-improved mood. There were daily ups and downs with his... whatever his depression was, anyway.

“You need to keep taking those cases?”

Alex winced. He couldn't exactly tell his parents why he had to take every case he was offered: because he'd be broke if he didn't. He didn't have a fallback plan. Nobody in Ontario would hire him for an agency, so he'd had to move out here and start his own. It had come out that he was working in a high-end gay boutique in the day and as a gay men's honeytrap at night. The jobs were surprisingly compatible.

That had paid wonderfully, but one day he'd just woken up and realized he didn't like it anymore. Plus, he was struggling even to get private event security jobs for straight people, no longer trusted in his own community. Then, he'd given up and moved back here.

He'd told his parents it was all to move back to Fredericton and be closer to them, of course.

Besides... if it weren't for work, he wouldn't have a reason to get out of bed some days.

“Yeah, my business is still pretty new,” he nodded. “I can't afford to be picky until at least the first year's up. I'd rather take these kind anyway. You know, I can validate their suspicions when people never had proof...”

His mother nodded. “It seems like it's hard, though.”

“It is. This guy... they're only newlyweds, but he's having an affair with one woman
and
bringing home others.”

His mother scoffed. “Now
he
needs smacking with a newspaper. Or something harder.”

“Mom!” Alex laughed.

“I know
you
can't, dear. I'm just saying.”

His father chuckled. “She's right. Not all of us are like that. If you're worried about finding your own--”

“Nah,” Alex groaned, but he was paying close attention.

“--all I'm saying is, keep holding on. There might be fewer of you out there, but you'll find one.”

“And he'll be the right one, more importantly.”

Alex smiled, rising to his feet. “Okay, okay,” he laughed. “I gotta get going soon. Thanks, Mom, Dad.”

“Anytime. Come over for supper again soon,” Dad told him. “Don't burn out.”

“I won't.”

After his usual goodbyes, Alex sat in the car for a few minutes to warm it up. He leaned against the window.

They were right: there
were
some different men. Thomas, for one. Thomas had been loyal almost to a fault; it would have been much easier to dump him all those years ago if he hadn't been. But being dumped had to hurt even more, so he didn't try to summon up too much sympathy for himself.

He'd been right to look for a relationship that had what he needed, but not in the way he went about it. If he ever dumped someone again, it would be face-to-face, not over the phone. That memory made him cringe.

“Yeah, I
was
that dick, kind of,” Alex muttered. Maybe they were right and it did take men a little longer to grow up and be ready to settle down. Maybe he was just getting to that stage now.

Thomas was two years younger. Was he almost ready?

If not... could Alex wait?

His heart raced. He'd never considered that question when it came to any other guy. The fact that he was even thinking about that told him that something was different.

But he couldn't dwell on it. Thomas didn't want more with him.

Alex tried not to think the word
yet
at the end of that sentence. He pulled away from the curb to drive home to his apartment.

If Thomas spent extra time ironing his shirt for Thursday, he wouldn't admit it. When Thursday came around, he brushed his teeth on his lunch break. The time seemed to drag by as the hour approached two o'clock.

Alex was due any time.

Naturally, Thomas was in the middle of serving a client when the handsome man stepped into the bank. A cool breeze blew through the lobby when the door opened, ruffling the waiting area brochures.

The client was slowly entering their PIN, and Thomas had just a second to look up and make eye contact with Alex.

Alex was looking for him, too, his gaze scanning the row of desks before his eyes lit upon Thomas's face.

They shared a look for a moment, their eyes meeting as a slow smile crept across Alex's face. That same slow, charming smile, but there was more sincerity today. Thomas just hoped none of the other tellers were looking between them. The chemistry between them felt like a lethal charge in the air.

Oh, Christ.
Thomas's heart downright fluttered, but he ignored it. He wasn't forgiving Alex yet, however sweet he'd been in bed. He drew his lips down and nodded briskly, then returned his attention to the client. Perhaps he paid her a little too much attention, ignoring where Alex went.

Alex would never commit to one guy, would he? And Thomas's family wouldn't approve. Not just because it was Alex, but Jackson always said exes should stay exes.

This thing between them... it was just a slip-up, a mistake Thomas thought would be logical. It had only complicated things.

Thomas's phone vibrated quietly and he ignored it until the last customer was out of sight. Only then were they allowed to check their phones. Well, they were discouraged, but there were slow days where hardly any customers came in. The tellers here had insisted that it was this or Facebook games.

It was a text from Alex.

You look beautiful today.

A blush crept up his cheeks as he scanned the room, trying to look casual. Alex was sitting in the waiting area for bank officer appointments, side-on to him. He had one arm stretched along the back of the comfy leather couch, his gaze fixed on the offices just beyond.

He tapped out a quick response.

Fuck off, you. You know that was one time.

Still, heat crawled up his cheeks and through his stomach. He burned with the desire for Alex to give him another sly look. It made him shudder.

He had to put up walls
now
, or Alex was going to break his heart again.

A minute later, Alex checked his phone. Thomas saw even from this distance and angle that Alex was smiling. Alex didn't look around at him, which was actually more maddening.

Thomas had no idea why his heart was racing so much. He wasn't the type to flirt by playing hard-to-get. What had gotten into him, apart from the obvious joke?

As Thomas tidied up his desk, keeping Alex in his peripheral vision, Alex stood up and stretched. The self-assured man wandered around to pick up brochures from each table and scan them. He looked left and right, probably for a bathroom, before taking a quick wander down an aisle.

Wrong way
, Thomas thought. He wanted to gloat at Alex getting turned around when he was proud of being so good with directions and building layouts. But no, he wasn't going to interact.

It took Thomas a minute to realize Alex hadn't come back.

Fuck. He's investigating. Not in my workplace.
Thomas's blood ran hot with annoyance. He hadn't come to make an appointment, or... see him. No, that was a stupid thought, but the synchronicity of bumping into Alex
had
been a little hard to believe.

He stood up, moving the bar across his counter and glancing at his coworkers. Chris and Georgie were both there to handle any unexpected rushes. “Be right back.”

“Yep,” Chris said without taking his eyes off his phone screen while Georgie nodded.

Thomas strode across the marble floor of the lobby. His shoes clicked against the tiles as he made his way directly to the offices. Maggie wasn't at the desk; she was probably fighting the copy machine again today.

Alex was lurking near the offices, turning this way and that. He looked lost despite how small the maze of cubicles and offices really was.

“Hello,” Thomas greeted, his voice clipped. He approached Alex like any other client – albeit with a bit more sternness.

Alex had a moment of looking guilty before smiling. “Sorry, I got a bit lost.” He turned slowly away from Anna's office and raised a hand.

Then, Thomas's breath caught in his throat.

Anna's office blinds were closed, but one of the blinds around chest level was ajar. Through that, he caught a glimpse of something he really
hadn't
wanted to see. Anna was facing away, but a guy sat on her desk, his shirt unbuttoned and fingers digging into the desk. Including his ring finger, with a ring on it.

“What the--” he cut himself off, his gaze flickering away as he blushed hard. “Is she seeing some...” he trailed off. Alex was an investigator. He'd needed an appointment at this time. He was lingering outside this office.

Ohhh, no.

Even if the ethics code didn't prohibit this, basic workplace decency did.

Alex didn't answer. He shrugged. “I'd better sit down and wait for... Lisa, I think it was.”

“Yes.” Thomas stiffly led Alex back to the waiting area without answering. Alex fidgeted with his phone in his breast pocket.

Just before they emerged, Alex touched Thomas's arm slightly to stop him. He kept his voice to a murmur. “See? My work
can
be good.”

Thomas couldn't disagree; lending to a client you were cheating with was a major breach of the ethics code. There was no way management knew about this. Anna wouldn't be employed if they'd known.

Was he supposed to tell? If he didn't... If anyone ever investigated, he couldn't say he hadn't known. For god's sake, Alex could be investigating that very moment. And more than that, it was about doing the right thing. He just wasn't sure whether that was what he thought it was.

Alex sank into the couch again. “Thank you for your assistance.” Maggie was coming back with Lisa, who smiled in greeting to Alex. He rose to his feet again. “Ah, hello.”

Unseen, Thomas walked quietly back to his work station.

He wasn't a snitch, but he also wasn't dishonest... and there might be major fraud happening. Or just one little house loan. No, one loan wasn't better than ten or twenty. His head spun.

This wasn't how he'd expected Thursday to go, but he was still glad he'd dressed up neatly. Alex's suit had been freshly-pressed today. In thinking that, Thomas dared to think he wouldn't have been out of place on Alex's arm.

Not the time.

But if he reported and the wrong person heard, if Anna
was
being protected by people higher up... Thomas might be out of a job, and without a reference for another.

And he couldn't afford that.

He had some big decisions to make.