“It is pretty intense,” Rhys said, his eyes wide. I nodded noncommittally. “Is something else bothering you? You look pretty… upset, I guess.”
“No.” I shook my head and sighed, then sat down on the top step. I didn’t feel much standing anymore, and to be honest, I wanted to cry. “I was just thinking about my brother.”
“Your brother?” Something flashed across Rhys’s face, and slowly, he sat down next to me. He seemed almost breathless, and at first I didn’t understand, then it dawned on me.
I thought about how weird this must be for Rhys. His whole life he had known that this wasn’t his real family, and it wasn’t even the same as being adopted. It wasn’t like his family had given him up. He had been stolen, and not by a family that had wanted him. They had just wanted me to have his life.
“Yeah. I mean…
your
brother actually,” I corrected myself, and that felt painful saying it. Matt would
always
be my brother, no matter what our genetics claimed.
“What’s his name?” Rhys asked quietly.
“Matt. He’s pretty much the nicest guy in the whole world,” I said with tears burning my eyes.
“Matt?” Rhys repeated, in an awed tone.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “He’s the bravest guy ever. He would do anything to protect the people he cares about, and he’s completely selfless. He always puts 203
everybody first. And he’s really, really strong. He’s…” I swallowed and decided that I couldn’t talk about him anymore. I shook my head and looked away.
“What about my mom and dad?” Rhys pressed, and I didn’t know how to answer that.
“Dad died when I was five,” I said carefully. “Mom took it pretty hard, and um… she’s been in the hospital ever since. For psychiatric problems. Matt and my dad’s sister, Maggie, they raised me.”
“Oh.” His face contorted with concern, and I suddenly hated Mom even more. I knew that she had done everything because she loved him, but this is what I was left with telling him. And she’d never be able to have a life with him because she’d always be locked up. All she had done was hurt him and me and Matt and everyone.
“I’m sorry.” I placed my hand gently on his, to comfort him. “It’s hard to explain how I know it, but your mom really loved you. She really wanted you.
And I think she always hated me because she knew I wasn’t you.”
“Really?” There was something hopeful and sad in his eyes when he looked at me.
“Yeah. It kind of sucked for me, actually,” I smiled wanly at him, and he laughed.
“Sorry about that,” Rhys smiled back at me. “I guess I’m too hard to forget.”
“Yeah, I guess you are,” I agreed. Rhys moved his hand so it was actually holding mine, and even though his mood seemed to brighten, I didn’t take it from him.
“So what about this Maggie? What’s she like?” Rhys asked.
“She’s pretty cool. A little overly attentive sometimes, but cool,” I said.
“She’s incredibly loving and patient, and she put up with a lot of crap from me.
They both did, really.” I thought about how strange this all was, that they weren’t my family anymore. “This’s so weird. They’re your brother and your aunt.”
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“No, I understand. They’re your family, too,” Rhys insisted. “They loved you and raised you. That’s what family is, right?” That was the exact thing I had needed someone to say to me for so long, and I squeezed his hand gratefully. I still loved them and always would, and I just wanted that to be okay.
“Wendy!” Finn apparently had just woken up and was on his way to check on me when he spotted me sitting on the steps. Instinctively, I pulled my hand back, and Rhys stood up. “What are you doing?”
“I just woke up. We were just talking.” I looked up at Rhys, who nodded in agreement, but Finn glared at us both. I felt like we’d been caught robbing a bank or having sex by the way Finn looked at us.
“I suggest you get ready for school,” Finn commanded icily.
“Yeah, that what I was doing anyway,” Rhys said somewhat defensively, then smiled down at me. “I’ll see you later, Wendy.”
“Yeah, okay,” I smiled back at him.
“What are you doing?” Finn hissed, glowering down at me.
“I already told you!” I insisted and stood up. He was still intimidating, but we were closer to the same height now, so I felt a bit better. “We were just talking!”
“About what?” Finn pressed.
“My family,” I shrugged. “What does it matter?”
“You cannot talk to him about your family,” Finn said firmly.
“Mänsklig cannot know where they come from. If they did, they would be tempted to track down their families, and that would completely ruin our entire society. Do you understand that?”
“I didn’t really tell him anything!” I said defensively, but I felt stupid that that hadn’t occurred to me. “I missed them, and I just said stuff about how neat Matt was. I didn’t tell him their last name or where they lived or anything like that.”
“You have to be more careful, Wendy,” Finn persisted.
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“Sorry! I didn’t know!” I didn’t like the way he was glaring at me, so I turned and started walking down the hall toward my room.
“Wait.” Finn grabbed my arm gently so I would stop and look at him.
He took a step closer to me so he was right in front of me, but I was trying to be mad at him, so I refused to look at him. I could still feel his eyes on me and the heat from his body, and it did little to help me maintain my anger.
“What?” I asked curtly.
“I saw you holding his hand,” Finn lowered his voice.
“So?” I said. “Is that a crime?”
“No, but… you
can’t
do that,” Finn explained emphatically. “You cannot get involved with a mänsklig.”
“Whatever.” I pulled my arm from his grip, irritated that the only thing he ever thought about was the job. “You’re just jealous.”
“I am not jealous,” Finn said defensively and took a step back from me. “I am watching out for your well-being. You don’t understand how dangerous it would be to get involved with him.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered and started walking back to my room. “I don’t understand anything.”
“That’s not what I said,” Finn followed after me.
“But it’s true, isn’t it?” I countered. “I don’t know anything.”
“Wendy!” Finn snapped, and grudgingly, I turned back to look at him.
“If you don’t understand things, it’s because I didn’t explain them well enough.” He swallowed hard and looked down at the ground, his dark eyelashes falling on his cheeks. There was something more that he wanted to say to me, so I crossed my arms, waiting. “But you were right.” He struggled with what he was saying, and I watched him carefully. “I was jealous.”
“What?” My jaw literally fell open and my eyes widened with surprise.
“That does not affect the job I have to do, nor does it change the fact that you absolutely cannot become involved with a mänsklig,” Finn said firmly, still looking at the ground instead of at me. “Now go get ready. We have another long day ahead of us.” He turned around and started to walk away.
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“Wait, Finn!” I called after him, and he paused, half looking back at me.
“The matter is not open for discussion,” Finn replied coolly. “I promised I would never lie to you, so I didn’t.”
I stood in front of my bedroom door, reeling from his confession. For the first time, he had really admitted that at least some of his feelings for me had nothing to do with the job at hand. Yet somehow, I was supposed to forget all that and go about like everything was normal.
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18
With the party only twenty-four hours away, Elora felt the need to check on my progress, not that I blamed her. Her plan was a dress rehearsal through dinner, testing my ability to converse and eat, apparently. She didn’t want a massive audience to witness my possible failure, so she just invited Garrett, Willa, and Rhiannon over to join her, Finn, Rhys, and me. It was the biggest group she could assemble without risk of embarrassment. Since I had already met with these people, I didn’t feel all that nervous, even though Elora informed me before hand that I needed to treat this the same way I would tomorrow night.
Everyone had clearly been instructed the same thing because they all appeared far more regal than normal. Even Rhys had dressed in a blazer, and he looked rather handsome. As usual, Finn was unnecessarily attractive, and thanks to his random confession of jealousy, I wasn’t entirely sure how to act around him. He had come into my room before dinner to make sure that I was getting ready, but I couldn’t help but feel that he was purposefully avoiding looking at me.
“Who will I be sitting by tomorrow?” I asked between careful sips of wine Elora instructed us where to sit, with at one end of the table, and I at the other. Rhys and Finn flanked either side of me, and Rhiannon and Will filled in the empty places..
“Between Tove Kroner and I,” Elora answered, narrowing her eyes at the way I was drinking my wine. “Hold the glass by the stem.”
“Sorry.” I thought I had been, but I moved my fingers, hoping I was holding it more correctly.
“A Princess never apologizes,” Elora corrected me.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, then realized what I did and shook my head.
“That was an accident. It won’t happen again.”
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“Don’t shake your head; it’s not ladylike,” Elora chastised me. “A Princess doesn’t make promises, either. She might not be able to keep them, and she doesn’t want them held against her.”
“I wasn’t really making a promise,” I pointed out, and Elora narrowed her eyes more severely.
“A Princess is never contrary,” Elora said coolly.
“I’ve only been a Princess for like two weeks. Can’t you give me a little break?” I was growing frustrated by all the Princess talk. Nearly every sentence she’d said to me in the past two days had started with “a Princess” and it was followed by things that a Princess never or always did.
“You’ve been a Princess your entire life. It’s in your blood,” Elora said firmly, sitting up even straighter in her chair, trying to loom over me. “You should know how to behave.”
“I am working on it,” I grumbled.
“Speak up. Use a clear strong voice no matter what it is you’re saying,”
Elora snapped. “And you don’t have time to work on it. Your party is tomorrow. You must be ready
now
.”
I wanted to snap something back at her, but both Rhys and Finn were giving me warning stares to keep my mouth shut. Rhiannon stared nervously at her plate, and Garrett just went about munching his food politely, while Willa took a long drink of her wine.
“I understand,” I exhaled deeply and took another drink of my wine.
I’m not sure if I held the glass right this time, but Elora didn’t say anything.
“So, I got your picture of the dress,” Willa smiled at me. “It was really stunning. I’m a little jealous, actually. You only get to be the belle of the ball once, and you definitely will be tomorrow. You’re going to look amazing.” She was coming to my aid, changing the subject from things I was doing wrong to compliments about me. Even if she was a bitch to Finn and Rhiannon, I just couldn’t bring myself to hate her.
“Thank you,” I smiled gratefully back at her.
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I had my final fitting earlier in the day, and since Willa had requested it the other night at dinner, I sent her a picture. It had actually been Finn’s idea, and he had used his camera phone. I felt very awkward and not at all pretty posing for it, and he never reassured me that I looked good in the dress. It felt too fancy for me, and I would’ve liked a little boost just then. But Finn had just snapped the picture, and that had been the end of that.
“Have you seen the dress?” Willa turned to Elora, who nibbled primly at a piece of broccoli.
“No. I trust Frederique’s designs, and Finn has final approval,” Elora answered absently.
“I’m going to insist on being involved in the process when my daughter gets her gown,” Willa offered thoughtfully. Elora bristled imperceptibly at that, but Willa didn’t notice. “But I’ve always loved dresses and fashion. I could spend my whole life at a ball.” She looked wistful for a moment, than smiled at me again. “That’s why it’s so great that you’re here.
You’re going to have such a monumental ball.”
“Thank you,” I repeated, unsure of how else to respond.
“You had a lovely party yourself,” Garrett interjected, feeling slightly defensive about the party he had thrown for his daughter. “Your dress was fantastic.”
“I know,” Willa smiled immodestly. “It was pretty great.” Finn made a soft noise in his throat, and both Elora and Willa glared at him, but neither of them said anything.
“My apologies. Something caught in my throat,” Finn explained, taking a sip of his wine.
“Hmm,” Elora murmured disapprovingly, then cast her stare back at me. “Oh, that reminds me. I have been too busy this week to ask you. What were your plans for your name?”
“My name?” I asked, raising any eyebrow.
“Yes. At the christening ceremony.” She looked at me for a moment, then looked sternly at Finn. “Didn’t Finn tell you about it?”
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“Yes, but isn’t that name already decided?” I was definitely confused.
“I mean, Dahl is family name, isn’t it?”
“Not the surname,” Elora clarified, annoyed. “Dahl is
your
name. I meant your first name.”
“I don’t understand.” I furrowed my brow and tried to read her stony expression. “My name is Wendy.”
“That isn’t a name for a Princess,” Elora scoffed. “Everyone changes their names. Willa used to be called something different. What was it, dear?”
“Nikki,” Willa said. “I took the name Willa, after my mother.” Garrett smiled at that, and Elora tensed up slightly, but quickly tried to erase it. Her plan seemed to push all her tension in my direction.
“So what is it? What name would you like?” Elora pressed.
“I… I don’t know,” I stumbled.
Irrationally, my heart had started pounding my chest. I didn’t want to change my name, not at all. When Finn had told me that about the christening ceremony, I had assumed it would only be my last name, and while I wasn’t that thrilled about that, I didn’t care that much. Eventually, I would probably get married and change my name anyway, so I wasn’t terribly hung up on that. But Wendy, that was
my
name. I turned to Finn for help, but Elora noticed and snapped my attention back to her.