“Rhys was just sitting with me while I waited for you,” I said. “Get over it.”
“It’s very dangerous for you to be around him.” Finn had reached his bedroom, and he paused at the door, looking at me from the corner of his eye.
“It’s dangerous for you to be around me.”
“What’s that supposed to be mean?” I demanded.
Finn went to his room without answering, but I pushed in right behind him. He tried to shut the door, but I knew he wouldn’t risk injuring me, so he put up very little fight when I barged into his room. Once I was in there, he took a step back from me and rubbed his forehead.
“You shouldn’t be here. These are my private quarters,” Finn said flatly.
“Just tell me what’s going on, and I will.” I crossed my arms firmly on my chest, staring up at him. I didn’t appreciate the way he wouldn’t look at me anymore. He was always looking everywhere but at me, and I missed his dark eyes.
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“I have been relieved of my duties,” Finn answered carefully. “Elora no longer perceives a threat, and I have been insubordinate. I am to pack my things, and leave the premises as soon as possible.”
The air had completely gone out of the room. It had been my worst fear. Finn was going to leave, and it was all my fault. He had been defending me when I should’ve been defending myself. Or I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.
“What?” I gaped at him when I could finally speak. “That’s not right.
You can’t… You’ve been here for so long, and Elora trusts you. She can’t…
It’s my fault! I’m the one that refused to listen!”
“No, it’s not you fault,” Finn insisted firmly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Well, you can’t just leave! I have the ball tomorrow, and I don’t know anything!” I continued desperately. “I’m not a Princess at all! You have so much left to help me with!”
“I wouldn’t be helping you after the ball anyway,” Finn shook his head.
“A tutor will be coming in to help you learn everything you need to know from here on out. You’re ready for the ball, no matter what Elora says. You’ll do wonderfully tomorrow.”
“But you won’t be here?” I looked at him, unbelieving, and he turned away from me.
“You don’t need me,” Finn said quietly and started gathering up his things.
“This is my fault!” I repeated. “I’m gonna talk to Elora. I’ll clear this all up. You can’t leave, and she has to see that.”
“Wendy, no, you can’t-” Finn tried to stop me, but I had already started out the door.
There was this unbearable panic settling over me. Finn had forced me to leave the only people who had ever made me feel okay about myself, and I had done it because I trusted him. But now he was going to leave me, alone with Elora and a monarchy I didn’t want. Rhys would still be here, but I knew 220
that it was only a matter of time before she sent him off as well. I was going to be more alone and isolated than I ever had been before, and I couldn’t handle it.
Even as I was running down the stairs to Elora’s room, I knew it was more than that. I knew that I just couldn’t stand to lose Finn, and it didn’t matter how Elora or anyone else treated me. A life without him just didn’t seem possible anymore. I hadn’t even fully realized how important he had become to me until Elora was threatening to take him away.
“Elora!” I threw open the drawing room door without knocking, and I knew it would piss her off, but I didn’t care. Maybe if I was insubordinate enough, she would send me away too.
Elora stood in front of the windows, staring out at the black night, and she wasn’t startled at all by the banging of the door as I threw it open. Without turning to look at me, she calmly said, “That’s completely unnecessary, and it goes without saying that that is not at all how a Princess behaves.”
“You’re always going on about how a Princess should behave, but what about how a Queen should act?” I countered icily. “Are such an insecure ruler that you can’t handle the slightest bit of dissention? If we don’t bow instantly to you opinion, you ship us off?”
“I assume this is about Finn,” Elora sighed.
“You had no right to fire him!” I shouted. “He did nothing wrong!”
“It doesn’t matter if he did anything wrong, I can ‘fire’ anyone for any reason. I am the Queen.” Slowly, she turned to me, her face stunningly emotionless. “It is not the act of disagreeing that I had a problem with; it was why.”
“This is about my stupid name?” I spouted incredulously.
“There is much you still have to learn. Please, sit.” Elora gestured to one of the couches, and she laid back on the chaise lounge. “There’s no need to get huffy with me, Princess. We need to talk.”
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“I don’t want to change my name,” I said, but I sat down on the couch across from her. “I don’t know why it’s such a big deal to you, but I think I should just be able to keep Wendy. Names can’t be that important.”
“It’s not about the name,” Elora waved it away. Her hair flowed out like silk around her, and she ran her fingers through it absently. “I know that you think I’m cruel and heartless, but I’m not. You won’t believe me when I tell you this, but I cared very deeply for Finn, more than a Queen should care for a servant, and I am sorry that I have been so negligent in the examples that I have set for you. It pains me to see Finn go, but I can assure you that I did it for you.”
“You did not!” I yelled. “You did it because you were jealous!”
“My emotions played no part in this decision. Not even the way I feel about you factored into this.” Her lips were tight, and she stared emptily at me.
“I did what I had to do because it was best for the kingdom.”
“How is getting rid of him best for anybody?” I asked.
“You refuse to understand that you are a Princess!” Elora sounded mildly irritated but quickly pushed it away. “It doesn’t matter if you understand the gravity of the situation. Everyone else does, including Finn, which is why he is leaving. He knows this is best for you, too.”
“I don’t understand.” I furrowed my brow with confusion and frustration. It would be so much easier if she would just spit things out.
“Trylle, true Trylle, have certain abilities. I know you think this is all about money, but it’s about something more powerful than that. Our bloodline is rich with tremendous abilities, far exceeding the general Trylle population,”
Elora explained. “Unfortunately, Trylle have become less interested in our way of life, and the abilities have begun to weaken. It is essential to our people that the bloodline is kept pure, that the abilities are allowed to flourish.
“I know you think that the titles and positions are arbitrary,” Elora continued. “But we are in power because we have the most power. For centuries, our abilities outshined every other family, but the Kroners are rapidly 222
overreaching us. You are the last chance for hanging onto the throne, and for restoring power to our people.”
“What does this have to do with Finn?” I demanded, growing tired of political talk.
“Everything,” Elora answered with a thin smile. “In order to keep the bloodlines as clean and powerful as possible, certain rules were put in effect.
Not just for royalty, but for everyone. When a Trylle becomes involved with a mänsklig, they are asked to leave the community. It’s not meant just as a repercussion for behaving outside of societal norms, but also so their half-breed spawn won’t weaken our abilities.” Something about the way she said “spawn”
sent a chill down my spine.
“There’s nothing going on between Rhys and I,” I interjected, but Elora nodded skeptically.
“While trackers are Trylle, they don’t possess abilities in the conventional sense,” Elora went on, and I was starting to realize what she was getting at. “Trackers are meant to be with trackers. If Trylle is involved with them, they are looked down upon, but it is allowed. Unless you are royalty. A tracker can never, ever have the crown. Any Marksinna or Princess caught with a tracker will immediately be stripped of her title. If the offense is bad enough, such as a Princess destroying an essential bloodline, then they would both be banished.”
I swallowed hard. If anything happened between Finn and I, I wouldn’t be able to be a Princess, and I wouldn’t even be able to live in Förening anymore. That was shocking at first, until I realized that I didn’t even want to be a Princess or live here. What did I care?
“So?” I said, and Elora looked momentarily surprised.
“I know that right now all of this means nothing to you.” Elora gestured widely to the room around us. “I know you hate this, actually, and I understand. But this is your destiny, and even if you don’t see it, Finn does. He knows how important you are, and he would never let you ruin your future.
That is why he offered up his resignation.”
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“He
quit
?” I didn’t believe her.
Finn wouldn’t quit. He wouldn’t leave me here, not when he knew how much I needed him. And he had to know. That’s why he stood up for me with Elora. He knew that I would be lost without him, and he couldn’t do that to me. It would go against everything he believed in. It was his duty to take care of me.
“I blame myself because the signs were so obvious,” Elora sighed.
“And I blame Finn, because he knows better than to get involved, better than anyone. But I commend him for realizing what the right thing was for you. He is leaving to protect you.”
“I don’t need him to protect me!” I got to my feet. “And there is nothing that I need protecting from! He has no reason to leave! Nothing’s going on! I’m not involved with anyone.”
“I would find that much more believable if you hadn’t raced down here with tears in your eyes to plead for his job,” Elora replied coolly. “Or if he had even offered up the smallest protest when I questioned him about his feelings for you. If he had promised me he could keep things purely business from here on out, I would’ve kept him.” She looked down at the chaise, playing with a loose thread in the fabric. “But he couldn’t even do that. He didn’t even try.”
I wanted to argue with her, but I was starting to realize exactly what she was saying. Finn cared about me, and he admitted it to Elora, knowing how she would react. He cared about me so much, he had been unable to continue his job. He couldn’t keep things separate anymore, and he was upstairs packing to leave right now.
I would’ve liked to yell at Elora more, blame her for everything horrible in my life and tell her that I was giving up the crown, but I didn’t have time to waste. I had to catch him before he left, because I had no idea where he would go. And he was far more important to me than anything here, especially now that I knew that he actually cared.
By the time I made it to his room, my breath was coming out raggedly.
My hands were trembling, and that familiar butterfly feeling Finn gave me 224
spread out warmly through me. I was in love with him, and I wasn’t going to give him up. Not for anything in this world or the next. He consumed every inch of my being without even trying, and I couldn’t imagine existing without him.
When I opened his bedroom door, he was standing over his bed, folding clothes and putting them in a suitcase. He looked back at me, surprised by my appearance, and he let his dark eyes rest on me again. His cheeks were covered in dark stubble, and there was something so ruggedly handsome about him, he was almost unbearable to look at. The top few buttons of his dress shirt were undone, revealing a hint of chest that I found strangely provocative.
“Are you alright?” Finn stopped what he was doing and took a step to me.
“Yeah,” I nodded, swallowing hard. “I’m going with you.”
“Wendy…” His expression softened and he shook his head. “You can’t go with me. You need to be here.”
“No, I don’t care about here!” I insisted. “I hate Elora! I hate this palace! I don’t want to be a stupid Princess! And I don’t care who is! There’s somebody else that can take my place! They don’t need me!”
“They do need you. You have no idea how badly they need you.” Finn turned away from me. “Without you, it will completely fall apart.”
“That doesn’t make any sense! I’m just one stupid girl who can’t even figure out which fork to eat with! I have no abilities! I’m awkward and silly and inappropriate! That Kroner kid is much better suited for this!” I continued. “I don’t need to be here, and I’m not going to stay if you’re not here!”
“There is much you have yet to learn,” Finn said tiredly, almost to himself. He had started folding his clothes again, so I walked over to him and grabbed his arm.
“I want to be with you, and… I think you want to be with me.” I felt sick to my stomach saying it aloud. I expected him to laugh at me or tell me that I was insane, but instead, he slowly looked over at me.
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In a rare moment of vulnerability, his dark eyes betrayed everything they had been trying to hide from me. They were fil ed with affection and warmth, and something even deeper than that. His arm felt warm and strong under my hand, and my heart pounded in my chest. Gently, he placed his hand on my check, letting his fingers press warmly on my skin, and I stared hopefully at him
“I am not worth it, Wendy,” Finn whispered hoarsely. “You are going to be so much more than this, and I cannot hold you back. I refuse to.”
“But Finn, I-” I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but he pulled his hand away.
“You have to go.” He turned his back to me completely, busying himself with anything so he wouldn’t have to look at me.
“Why?” I demanded, tears stinging at my eyes.
“Because.” Finn picked up some of his books off a shelf, and I followed right behind him, unwilling to relent in my pursuit of him.
“That’s not even a reason,” I said.
“I’ve already explained it to you,” Finn hissed.
“No, you haven’t! You’ve just made vague comments about the future!” I insisted.
“I don’t want you!” Finn snapped.
I felt like I had been slapped. For a moment, I stood in a stunned silence, just listening to the sound of my heartbeat echo in my ears, but then I charged on. Maybe he didn’t want me, but part of me still believed he did, and I wouldn’t stop until I was sure it was true.