Tagan's Child (51 page)

“God, I’m sick
of crying,” I said, sitting up straight.

“I’ll get you a
tissue,” Bennie said, getting off the sofa and sounding more than a
little relieved my tears had stopped.

She handed me
the box.

“Thanks,” I
blew my nose, feeling a little better. “I’m sorry, I know you find
emotion difficult,” I said, trying to make a joke of it.

“Well, you have
just ruined my new cashmere V-neck,” she said with feigned
irritation, pulling the soggy front of her sweater away from her
chest. When she looked back at me her eyes were full of sympathy.
“It will all work out, I’m sure of it,” she said and sat back
down.

I nodded,
wanting to believe her.

“Let me cook
you something nice to eat,” she offered.

I raised my
eyebrows and smiled weakly. Bennie was the world’s worst cook.

“Okay, you’re
right let’s just get a takeaway. I’ll collect it. She walked over
to the sideboard. “What do you fancy?”

“Oh, I don’t
mind, you choose.” The thought of food actually made me want to
heave.

“Chinese? A
curry? Pizza?” She was looking through the array of takeaway menus
I kept in my sideboard drawer.

“A pizza,” I
replied. It was the only thing I could imagine taking a bite of
without gagging.

After placing
our order she picked up her glass of wine and sat back on the sofa.
“Where’s Mungo?” she asked.

Bloody hell,
Mungo! I hadn’t given him a thought since I’d come back, Toby would
never forgive me. If I got the dog back he would be another thing
I’d lose to Ramia, I thought childishly.

“Oh, Sandie’s
got him, well, at least I hope she has. I haven’t been in touch
with her. Come to think of it I’m not even sure how long I’ve been
away.”

“You left ten
days ago,” Bennie said almost too quickly.

Was that all?
It felt like a lifetime.

“I suppose I
ought to phone her.”

“It won’t hurt
to leave him one more day, we need to work out a story to tell the
police first,” she said.

“Maybe we
should say that you were kidnapped too?”

I looked at
Bennie with a grimace.

“What?” she
said defensively. “It would explain your sudden disappearance.”

I toyed with
the idea. “But I had made arrangements with Sandie, it wouldn’t
take the police long to find that out. Besides they have probably
interviewed her already and she wouldn’t have known not to tell
them anything.”

“True,” she
said. “Okay, what about saying you were blackmailed?”

I thought about
this for a minute. I supposed that could work. It would explain why
I had taken off without telling anyone, although I hated the
prospect of more deceit, I wasn’t good at lying, I almost always
tripped myself up at some point.

“Okay. But why
would they blackmail me?”

“For a ransom
of course. You could say you went to meet with them, but they
double-crossed you and kept hold of Toby.” She looked rather
pleased with herself for coming up with this idea.

“I don’t know,”
I said doubtfully.

“They only need
look at you to know that you’ve been to hell and back. Have you got
any better ideas?”

I couldn’t
think of anything that didn’t implicate me in Toby’s
kidnapping.

“No, I suppose
not.”

“Right then,
you were blackmailed and went into hiding, you were terrified of
telling anyone in the fear that they would harm Toby.”

“But why would
they kidnap Toby? I’m not exactly some celebrity millionaires.”

“There are
plenty of opportunist weirdos out there, you only have to listen to
the news to know that. You are well-known locally and you have a
thriving business. You are a likely victim.”

“Thanks, that’s
reassuring,” I said dryly.

“Well, you know
what I mean.”

“Okay, we’ll go
with the blackmail story. I suppose it’s tenuously feasible,” I
said.

“Just think of
Toby. That will help you to be more convincing when the police
question you. He needs you, he doesn’t need his auntie banged
up.”

I couldn’t help
but laugh. “You have such a delicate turn of phrase sometimes.”

“Well it’s
true,” she said with a chuckle.

Bennie was
right. I had to play this carefully, I had no alibi and I had to
protect myself as well as Toby. We both sat thoughtfully for a
while.

“I’ll go into
the police station in the morning and report my return,” I
said.

“Do you want me
to come with you?” she offered.

I turned to
look at her. “Would you?”

“Yes, of course
I will.”

“Thanks Ben, I
don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I’m always
here for you lovey.”

I leant over
and gave her a hug. She endured my affection stiffly.

“Right, that’s
enough hugging for one evening,” she said good-humouredly.

“Its good
therapy for you, Ben,” I said straightening. “It might help you to
hold onto a man in the future.”

She laughed.
“You must be feeling better, you’ve started to give me stick about
my love life again.”

I did feel
better. Being with Bennie had given me hope. Maybe I had a chance
of getting my life back on track.

*****

The next
morning we went to the police station and after two hours of
questioning I was allowed to go home. I was unable to hide my
distress and they released me on the proviso that if anything came
up they would have me back in for questioning. They promised to put
as many of their resources into finding Toby and asked me to return
the following day to make a television appeal. I had no doubt I
would be able to give a convincing performance.

We stopped off
at the supermarket on our way home. When we got back, Bennie went
into the kitchen. I took a deep breath and phoned Sandie. I
successfully dodged most of her questions and she agreed to hold
onto Mungo for another couple of days, this would at least give me
the chance to visit Toby. She told me Audrey had gone home
yesterday and was doing well. I felt like the world’s worst friend.
I told her I would be opening the shop sometime in the following
week. Even though I didn’t quite feel ready to face the nosy
inhabitants of Hatherley, I needed to get my life back to some
normality as soon as possible. Moping around the house wasn’t doing
me any good. I hung up just as Bennie came back into the
lounge.

“Here,” she
said, handing me a sandwich

“Thanks.” I
didn’t feel hungry but took a bite anyway and thought about the
next couple of days. I wanted to visit Audrey before going to see
Toby and I had the T.V. appeal to do the following morning but as
much as I was looking forward to seeing him I was kind of relieved
that my next visit to Ramia would be delayed a little longer. If
Ahran was around it would give him the chance to leave before I
arrived. Never seeing him again was the only recourse I had. It
wasn’t as if I could report what he had done to the police.

“Aren’t you
going to eat any more?” Bennie asked, pointing at my half-eaten
sandwich.

I shook my
head. “You’ve got to eat Sophie, you hardly ate any of your pizza
last night.”

“I know. I
will, once I’ve got everything sorted out.”

She sighed and
picked up our plates and took them into the kitchen. When she came
back, she hesitated. “I’m really sorry Sophe, but I’ve got to leave
in a little while. I had a phone call this morning, I’ve got a new
assignment starting tomorrow. I didn’t think it was happening until
next week but apparently the weather is good at the moment and the
forecast for next week is terrible.”

“What will you
be doing?” I asked.

“Filming stag
deer in Scotland for a BBC documentary.”

“That sounds
good.” As much as I loved Bennie, and appreciated what she had done
for me, I was secretly pleased she wasn’t going to be around. It
meant I could go to Ramia after the T.V. appeal and wouldn’t have
to face any awkward questions from her about where I was going.

“I could always
get my mother to stop by and check on you.”

I gave her a
half smile, half grimace. “Thanks, but that won’t be necessary.
There’s stuff I need to do to get the shop ready for opening next
week.” I had decided, I would spend the beginning of the week in
Ramia and open up as soon as I got back. I needed to keep busy. I
tried to give her as bright a smile as I could muster.

“I’ll come back
as soon as I’ve finished.”

“Thanks Ben,
but don’t rush back on my behalf. Do what you’ve got to do. I’m
going to open the shop and try and carry on as best I can. Once
I’ve had a conversation with Toby’s grandparents I’ll know more
about how things are going to pan out there and then I’ll just have
to get on with it. I’ve got a mortgage and bills to pay.” It was
fighting talk but I wasn’t at all convinced I knew how to do
it.

“Well, I’m
always on the end of a phone. You can call me anytime day or
night,” she said sincerely.

I nodded.

She continued
to hover, not looking any more confident than I was about my
ability to cope.

“When are you
going to see Audrey?”

“I haven’t
spoken to her yet but I was hoping I might be able see her this
later this morning. I feel so bad about not getting in touch.”

“Audrey will
understand. I’ll get the phone for you. I’d feel happier about
leaving if I knew you’d made arrangements to see her.”

“Okay,
thanks.”

She handed me
the phone. I didn’t have to think about dialling Audrey’s number,
my fingers tapped out the sequence of numbers automatically.

Three rings and
she picked up.

“Hello?”

I took a deep
breath.

“Hi Audrey, its
Sophie,” I said as brightly as I could muster.

“Sophie! It’s
so good to hear from you.” I didn’t know why I had been worried,
Audrey treated me like a daughter and there wasn’t much she
wouldn’t forgive me for.

“Where have you
been? Have they found Toby yet?”

I hesitated.
“Toby is fine although it’s a very long story. I was wondering if I
could come over and see you.”

“So he’s
safe?”

“Yes, thank
goodness.”

“You don’t know
how pleased I am to hear that. Yes of course you can come
over.”

“Great I’ll be
over within the hour.”

“Look forward
to it dear. Bye”

“Bye then.”

At least I
still had my friends. They would help me get through this.

Bennie had
stood listening to our brief conversation and she looked
satisfied.

“See, I told
you so. I feel happier about leaving you now.”

“I’m a big
girl,” I said, aiming for more conviction this time.

Bennie looked
at me doubtfully. She hesitated. “Are you sure you’ll be okay? You
seem different somehow.”

“Do I?”

“Yeah, sort of
dull.”

“Dull?” I
thought if I fired questions back I wouldn’t have to answer any of
hers.

“Your eyes have
always reflected your mood. And now…,” she was searching for the
right words. “They’re sort of dull.”

I gave a
humourless laugh. “Well its hardly surprising Ben, I’ve not had the
easiest time of it.”

“Oh God, Sophe,
I totally understand. You’ve been through hell, it’s just
that...”

I looked at her
waiting for her to go on but willing her to stop.

“Oh I don’t
know,” she shrugged and gave me a squeeze. “I’ve got to go. Are you
sure you’re going to be alright?” she said for about the millionth
time.

“Yes!” I
replied, relieved she hadn’t pursued her previous line of
enquiry.

She looked at
me hesitantly as if she was about to say more but then thought
better of it.

I followed her
out into the hallway.

“Oh, I almost
forgot. It’s my parents golden wedding anniversary on the 22nd of
December and they are having a ‘do’. Do you think you’ll be able to
come?”

“The 22nd?” I
hadn’t a clue what date it was. “When is that?”

“It’s four
weeks away.”

I wanted to
reserve my weekends so I could go to Ramia but I knew my best
friend needed moral support on these occasions. She always found
them difficult and would probably drink too much if I didn’t go.
She also knew her father had been prone to the odd marital
indiscretion over the years and celebrating such a milestone
wedding anniversary was bound to cause her mixed emotions. I would
just have to see Toby afterwards.

“Yeah, of
course, that would be great,” I said supportively.

Bennie gave a
half smile and rolled her eyes. We both knew it wouldn’t be great.
Most of Mr and Mrs Blythe-Smith’s friends were snooty and
insufferable. We had both endured them on a number of similar
occasions over the years. Unfortunately, we could no longer get
away with hiding out in the tree house.

“Thanks.” She
gave me a brief hug and made her way out to her car.

I stood and
waved her off.

I stopped at
the florist in the village and bought a bunch of lilies on my way
over to Audrey’s. I parked outside her cottage and looked at the
familiar façade before getting out of the car. Not much had changed
except the window frames were freshly painted. Her pretty garden
looked as neat as ever and even though it was nearly the end of
November there were still some splashes of colour in it. It was
such a strange feeling knowing that my world had been turned upside
down and yet everyone else’s around me carried on as normal. It was
a bit like when a loved one dies, I thought morbidly, your world
changes forever, but incredibly other people’s lives carry on as if
nothing has happened.

Would I ever be
able to resume a normal life? It seemed such an impossibility.