Authors: Katie McGarry
Haley
The bell rings and both Mrs. Collins and I turn our heads to watch the flood of students fill the student parking lot. I requested a meeting with her this morning and she pulled me from last period to talk.
My lap is full of applications and pamphlets. I’ve applied for the athletic scholarship, but I have to be prepared to be solely responsible for paying for my college education. West’s dad offered to uphold his end of the deal, but I can’t accept it. That money is tainted.
There’s only a few remaining days left to graduation—the sand in the hourglass has almost run out. I sigh heavily while fingering the top pamphlet in my hand. No one ever said fighting is easy.
“Community college is an excellent option,” she says. “In fact, that’s how I started.”
Ha. Frames on her wall advertise the University of Louisville and Harvard. “Is this one of those moments where you tell me a lie to make me feel better about my choices?”
Her lips flinch into a smile. “No. This is where I tell you the truth. I couldn’t afford college, so I went to a community college to fill my requirements while I worked a job that could help me afford school. When I graduated with my associate’s, I transferred. I didn’t turn out so bad, did I?”
Guess not. I shove the paperwork into my backpack. “Thanks.”
Outside the window, I spot West, Kaden and Jax forming a semicircle as they wait for me. Living with my grandfather in his camper with Jax and Kaden is a bit like a chicken living in a factory farm, but it’s the first time in a year and a half I have a sense of home. It could be because I’m training again. It could be because I’m taking back my life. But I think it’s because I’m learning how to rely on the people I love.
“How’s your mom and dad?” Mrs. Collins asks.
“Good.” Another parent–teacher conference later and Mrs. Collins learned from John that Jax, Kaden and I are living with him. I respect her because CPS didn’t show at the gym to drag any of us away. “Actually, they’re doing very good.”
Mom found work. Nothing spectacular, but something better than what she was doing here. Maggie’s made friends at her new school and is being spoiled by my great-aunt, and my dad...
My dad joined a gym. I smile when I think of our conversation last night on the phone.
“I’m proud of you,” he had said. “For staying home. For trying again.”
“Thanks,” I responded. “Is it true? Mom said you’re fighting again?”
Dad laughed and that sweet sound healed wounds that were still open. “No tournaments in my future, but, yeah, I joined one. Your old man is slow and this body creaks more than it should, but it feels good to move. It feels good to be useful.”
Dad’s healing and it will probably be a while before he’s totally on his feet. Being in the gym isn’t a perfect solution, but it’s the start of one.
“Is there anything else you’d like to discuss?” Mrs. Collins asks.
I fiddle with the straps of my backpack, smoothing them out on my lap to see if one is longer than the other. “My mom said once if you say something out loud that it takes the power away from it. Do you think that’s true?”
Her features smooth out. “Yes. I one hundred percent agree with your mother.”
Definitely food for thought. “Thanks again.”
“If you ever need anything, Haley, I’m here.”
I smile at her as I leave. If I had a dollar for every time she’s said those words to me, I’d be a very rich girl. The May afternoon is definitely short weather and I’ve got some holey jeans screaming to be cut. After my shift at the pizza place, I’m finding a pair of scissors.
My heart warms when all three guys in my life laugh as Jax breaks down a sparring session he had yesterday, but I only have eyes for West. His bruises from the fight have faded and he’s back to drop-dead, stop-my-heart gorgeous.
He has dinner with his family four to five times a week and pays Isaiah’s foster parents fifty dollars a month to sleep on the couch in their basement. Last week, he watched his sister, Rachel, take her first steps. Since then he’s been flying high.
I’ve been to dinner with West at his family’s house a few times and it’s a strange combination of people at the table between West’s family, Rachel’s boyfriend, Abby and then me. It’s awkward for all of us, except for Abby. Because of that, we all sit back and let her do the talking.
Heat curls in my belly when West flashes me a smile. “Took you long enough.”
“I’ve got options,” I tell him. “She gave me lots of options.”
West kisses my forehead and runs his fingers through my hair. Tiny goose bumps form along my neck and I wish for the millionth time we could be alone.
Jax makes a gagging sound and I stick my tongue out at him.
“Real mature, Hays.” Yet he sticks his out in return.
West rests an arm around my shoulder and tucks me close to him. We have a half hour before the city bus, so they resume their conversation. The side door to the building opens and Conner walks out with Matt behind him. My eyes lock with Matt’s and I shiver from the coldness inside me.
He won, but he lost. It wasn’t the beating he’d hoped for and, according to the rumors at school, it’s driven him harder at the gym. It really is a waste. West and I have changed so much, learned so much and Matt is where he was before—in denial over his brother and over his own emotional instability.
“It’s over,” West whispers into my ear. “Everything between Matt and me is over.”
They hate each other and I imagine they always will, but neither will street brawl. This will become a rivalry in the cage. Matt and I have digressed to these moments of him staring at me as he passes by and me quietly panicking.
“I know.” But maybe I don’t. I’m still drawn to look at him to make sure he’s not stalking up to hurt me from behind.
“He’s not going to hurt you, either,” West says softly as he notices where my attention still lies. “I promise you—it’s over.”
I shift and West drops his arm. The three of them stop their conversation and survey me like I’ve grown antlers and a red nose. West takes my fingers and rubs his thumb over my hand. Typically that touch weakens my knees, but right now, I’m full of angst and panic and all I can think about is returning to the building. “I’ll be back, okay?”
West glances at my family, then back at me. “Do you want me to come with you?”
“No,” I say way too quickly. This is one of the things West hates—when I live inside my head. It’s also one of the things that drove me away from my family. “I’ve got to talk to Mrs. Collins about something. Just...talk.”
“All right.” He squeezes my hand and lets me go.
I sprint into the building and down the hall. The teachers lock their doors behind them and I pray Mrs. Collins hasn’t bolted. In the main office, one secretary is already gone and the other one holds her purse. “Can I help you?”
I don’t say anything as I skid to a halt in the doorframe of Mrs. Collins’s office. My heart pounds and my chest moves rapidly with my breaths. Mrs. Collins has her car keys in one hand and a bundle of folders in the other. She’s leaving. I’m too late.
Her forehead furrows. “Did you forget something, Haley?”
I force out the words before I lose my courage. “My ex-boyfriend hit me.”
I said it... I said the words. My vision becomes fuzzy as I wait for the world to implode...as I wait for her hate and judgment and then I realize I crave her belief.
“He hit me.” Suddenly the words aren’t as painful. “He hit me and it wasn’t okay.”
Mrs. Collins sets her files and keys on the side of her desk. “No, it wasn’t okay. Why don’t you shut the door behind you and take a seat?”
Before I can do either of those things, I desperately search her eyes to see if she’ll tell me the truth. “Am I going to be okay?”
“What do you think?” she asks in a kind, thoughtful way. In a way that makes me think that I may already know the answer.
My mouth pops open and Mrs. Collins moves around me and gently shuts the door. She’s quiet as she slides around me again and sits behind her desk. “You look okay. You sound okay. And you’re here talking to me. How do you feel?”
I sink into the chair across from her and drop my book bag to the floor. “I’m tired of handling this on my own because—” I wave my hand in front of my heart “—keeping it inside isn’t working out for me.”
She nods like she understands...like really understands. And the sincerity in her eyes gives me a flash of hope. “How about we start at the beginning? When did you first meet him?”
West
Holding on to her elbows, Haley toes a rotted piece of floorboard in the corner of the living room. Isaiah gave Kaden and me a lead on the place. It turns out he lived here for a couple of months.
“What do you think Jax will do?” she asks. I glance away, unable to endure the worry lines on her forehead. Next week, Kaden, Haley and I are graduating. Haley’s determined to stay in the camper and save her money for college and Jax...Jax is considering heading home.
“I don’t know. He’s worried about his mom and brothers.”
Haley bites her bottom lip and assesses the walls.
“It’ll look better once we get furniture,” I say.
“The floor will fall through when you get furniture.”
“Not true.” I grab Haley’s hand and guide her into the only bedroom. “See.” I motion to the mattress and box springs I bought today. “Floorboards are still intact.”
Haley claps her hands together and the pride radiating from her eyes causes me to grin. “You bought furniture!”
“Yep.” And in one solid motion, I bend over, connect with Haley at her knees and flip her onto the mattress. “And I’m bent on trying it out.”
She giggles and I love the sight of her light brown hair sprawled all around her. The strap of Haley’s pink tank top slips off her shoulder and my heart freezes at the sight. “You’re beautiful.”
Haley becomes serious as she raises her fingers to my face and traces an outline of where my eye had been swollen weeks before. “You fought for me.”
“Yes.” And I’ll be fighting again. Not for her so much as for me. I’m staying amateur and will be in the cage again in the fall. Haley’s deferred the training to John, but what I like is that she’s training along with me, though Haley has yet to decide if she’s returning to the tournament ring.
I yank my shirt off and lower my head to taste Haley’s lips. Shock registers through my body when she presses a hand against my chest. “I have something to show you.”
“What?”
A sexy smile tilts her lips. “Are you impatient or something?”
I prop my hands on either side of her head and kiss a trail from her renegade tank top strap to her neck, keeping my body from touching hers. “We haven’t been alone in weeks, Haley, and I’ll be living with your brother. How much alone time do you think he’ll be giving us?”
We barely find enough alone time to kiss now and I don’t foresee our opportunities improving with her brother sharing a room with me. But it’s all worked out for the best. Haley’s been talking with Mrs. Collins regularly, which means Haley’s been dealing with some heavy shit. Because of that, we’ve been taking it slow. Doesn’t matter. I’ve waited this long for the perfect girl. I don’t mind waiting a little while longer for her to be ready.
A contented sigh escapes Haley’s mouth when I part my lips and kiss her neck deeper and longer. Her hands wander to my biceps and begin a gentle massage that causes my head to spin.
“You don’t fight fair,” she breathes.
I chuckle against her sweet skin. “You’re the one that taught me all about offensive attacks.”
Before I can react, Haley twists her legs with mine and we roll without my consent, but how can I complain when I have such a beautiful creature lying on top?
She waggles her eyebrows. “Amateur.”
“Give me a couple years and I’ll be a pro.”
Haley doesn’t scoff at me like some of my old friends do when I tell them what I’m doing with my life. Instead, a twinkle in her eye says she believes in my dreams. It’s a step-by-step process that will take years.
I’m allowing Dad to pay for my education at the University of Louisville. In return, I will work for him thirty hours a week during the summer and twenty during the school year. I work another five to ten for Denny at the bar and the two of us continue our fucked-up relationship of never mentioning he’s my father.
The rest of the time, I spend at the gym training and helping others train. I’m going to see how far I can take this...how far I can go.
Haley reaches back and produces a letter from her back pocket. “It’s my answer on the scholarship. The one we did the videos for.”
“What did it say?” I wrap my arms around Haley and I sit up so that she’s straddling me.
Haley and I discussed Dad’s offer to pay for her education. I even brought her to the house and Dad talked to her as well as my mom. She won’t accept our money. She’s hardheaded and stubborn and I love her more than my own life.
Haley’s enrolled both at the University of Louisville and the community college. This scholarship will answer where she’ll spend at least the next year.
“Well?”
She loses her spark. “I don’t know. I haven’t opened it yet.”
Adrenaline pours into my veins. I’m more nervous about this than she is. “Are you going to?”
Haley slides off me and I immediately miss her warmth. She and I are like two separate halves to a whole. Separate in that the two of us could live life apart and be successful, but when we are together—when we are whole—that’s when the magic happens.
She tucks the letter into the crevice between the bed and the wall. “I’ll tell you what. Kiss me and when we’re done, I’ll open it.”
I know her. Haley doesn’t think she won. I slip my hand around her waist and pull her back into me. My lips roam her neck and my fingers lift the soft material of her tank top. “No matter what, you’ll be okay.”
Haley melts into me. “I know.”
She lays a hand over mine and I stop, giving her a moment to collect her thoughts. It’s hard for her to not live in her head and the time to process those thoughts is all she really needs.
“I’m scared of the rejection, but more...” She inhales deeply and I urge Haley onto my lap. With her head resting on my collarbone, she traces the spot on my chest where I had been bruised for weeks. “I want to be a sports trainer. Sort of like John, but not. I want to help athletes recovering from injury. Watching your sister learn how to walk again...personally learning how to battle through emotional injury... It’s what I want to help people do for life.”
I tip Haley’s chin so her eyes meet mine. “Okay.”
Her head shakes against my fingers. “No. I need someone to know this before I open that letter. When I applied for it, I was looking for money and I would have majored in kinesiology because that’s what I had money to go to school for. I need someone to know before I get my answer that I’m choosing this degree...that it’s not choosing me.”
Of all the people in the world, she knows I understand. I lower my lips to hers and kiss the soft part between. She presses back and her hands move along my chest—a tickle, a caress and it’s enough to set me on fire.
We roll and soon her tank joins my shirt on the floor. I explore her curves, enjoy the taste of her skin and memorize each hitch of breathing and soft sigh that escapes from her mouth. My mind reels when her body responds to me and the fierceness of the heat created.
Time loses meaning and the only thing left is her touch and her love. Soon we are gasping and holding and whispering words that will only be said between us. Then everything stills as colors burst into the world.
I edge Haley so that she’s lying beside me. Her hair tickles my chest and I rub her spine, half awake, half reliving kissing her in a dream.
A crinkle to my right causes my eyes to shoot open and I snatch the letter held prisoner by the bed. I hand it to her and kiss her temple.
With her head resting on my arm, Haley stares at it for a moment before ripping the back seal open with her finger. The envelope falls away as she unfolds the letter. I search her face for any sign of frustration or hope. Every ounce of me tightens as I pray for a miracle.
With a short release of air from her lips, Haley refolds the letter and lets it drop to the floor. My head hits the back of the wall. Just fuck. How could they deny her?
I tighten my hold on her. “It’s okay.”
Haley runs a fingertip along my cheek and a smile forms on her lips. “Yeah, actually, it is. I won.”
* * * * *