No matter how many times he tried to convince himself, he knew he was wrong. He had no right getting mad at Bailey, just
because of his own hurt. The way he saw it, she should’ve known how he was feeling about Tim. But that didn’t mean he wanted to fight with her. It certainly didn’t mean he wanted distance between them. But that’s exactly what he’d created by being so harsh back in the house.
He was trying to decide whether to find her and apologize, when his cell phone sounded from his pocket. His ringtone was the hit song by Matthew West—“The Motions.” Every time his phone rang it reminded him of the truth—he didn’t want to live his life going through the motions. He wanted to live every moment for Christ. Whatever the cost. He wished he would’ve heard his ringtone before his earlier exchange with Bailey.
The call was from his mother’s house, so he moved a few yards away from the others and answered it. “Hello? Mom?”
“Cody?” Her voice sounded slurred. “Can y’come over? I don’t feel so good.”
“I’m on my way.” He was halfway to his car by the time the call ended. He yelled to Coach Taylor, who was just coming out for another load. “Something’s come up. Gotta run.”
“See you tomorrow.” Coach waved. “Keep memorizing the playbook.”
Cody slid into his car, started the engine, and sped off. Whatever was going on between him and Bailey, it would have to wait. Right now he needed to get to his mother’s house, and the whole way he could only thank God for the obvious. No matter what his mother had done, she wasn’t where she thought she’d be when she fell off the wagon. She wasn’t in a hearse or in the back of a squad car.
Not yet anyway.
B
AILEY COULDN’T BELIEVE
C
ODY WOULD LEAVE
without saying good-bye. He must’ve been much more upset than she knew, but
she couldn’t give the matter much attention because almost as soon as Cody left, Andi walked into the house. Bailey went to her, happy to be part of the moving crew. But from the moment she saw Andi’s face, Bailey felt the mood in the house change. Andi looked distant and lost, nothing like the girl she’d been when they first met.
“Hi.” Bailey kept her tone tempered. Her friend’s mood didn’t call for anything too upbeat. “You okay?”
“Fine.” Andi’s voice was as lifeless as her eyes. She set a bag of cleaning supplies on the kitchen counter and turned to Bailey. “Thanks for being here. Your family too.”
Mrs. Ellison walked into the room then, but she stopped short when she saw Andi. “Sweetheart…what’s wrong?”
Andi tried to smile. “I don’t feel good.” She clutched her stomach, and anyone could see the dark circles beneath her eyes.
Andi’s mother came to her, worry lining her face. “Do you have a fever?” She kissed her daughter’s forehead. “Hmmm. No.” She stood back and assessed Andi. “What are your symptoms?”
Bailey felt awkward, like she should go back to helping with the move. But she wasn’t sure if it might be more rude to leave, so she stayed still, quietly watching.
“I’m just tired.” Andi shivered a little. “Maybe if I take a nap.”
“I don’t like this.” Her mom’s concern seemed stronger than before. “You were in bed by six last night, and you slept in this morning.” She ran her hand along Andi’s arm. “Maybe it’s mono. That happens to lots of college kids. Especially their first year.”
The idea seemed possible. Bailey had heard of others in their dorm battling mono.
“I’m fine. Just run down.”
“I don’t know.” Mrs. Ellison circled her arms around Andi and swayed with her. “I hate seeing you like this.”
Andi pulled back and tried another smile. “I’m fine. I’ll feel better tomorrow.”
Her mom hesitated, searching Andi’s eyes. But then she smiled with the sort of deep compassion only a mother could muster. “Go sleep. We’ll see how you feel in a few hours.”
Andi hugged her mom and then turned toward the hallway. She was almost out of sight when she must’ve remembered Bailey, because she stopped and looked back. “Sorry. I guess I’m out of it.”
“That’s okay.” As much as the idea of mono seemed plausible, Bailey had the feeling once more that something else was responsible for the change in Andi. She smiled at her friend anyway. “Hope you feel better.”
“Thanks.” Then without another word or even a slight hesitation, she was gone.
Mrs. Ellison waited until she heard Andi shut her new bedroom door before she released a desperate-sounding sigh. She braced herself against the kitchen counter and hung her head for a long moment. When she looked up, she focused grief-stricken eyes at Bailey. “Do you see it? How different she is?”
Bailey wasn’t sure how much she should say, but she could certainly agree about the change in Andi. “Definitely.” She kept her voice low. “I see it, for sure.”
“We were worried about her before we arrived. But seeing her this morning…she’s thin and withdrawn, her dark hair and the dark circles under her eyes. It’s like she’s an entirely different girl.” She massaged her temples. “I’ve been praying constantly, but I have no answers, no idea what to do.” Andi’s mom looked intently at Bailey, a pleading sort of look. “Please, tell me what you know. Is she drinking again? Taking drugs?”
“Well…” Again Bailey wasn’t sure it was her place to say much. But then she thought about the friendship she shared with her mother. The best thing for Andi would be a closer relationship with her mom. If she could tell the woman anything that might help, then she would be doing Andi a favor. She gathered
her thoughts and hoped Andi wouldn’t feel betrayed by anything she might say. She wanted to be a friend more than anything.
“Please, Bailey…whatever you know.”
“Okay, well…” Bailey looked once back toward the hallway. Andi couldn’t hear them, she was sure of that. She moved closer to Andi’s mom and leaned on the opposite side of the counter. “I don’t think she’s drinking. I mean, she might be. But I never smell alcohol around her or see it in the dorm.” She hesitated. “She changed a lot when she started seeing Taz. But this depression she’s in, that started after they broke up.”
“He was bad for her. We knew that, but there was nothing we could do to stop her from seeing him.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“So this Taz…” Mrs. Ellison seemed to dread whatever she was about to ask. But she pushed ahead anyway. “Do you think he and Andi were physical?”
Bailey bit her lip. She wanted to stick to the facts, but she thought maybe Andi’s mom should know her suspicions. “I don’t know. He’s seeing someone else now. But when they were dating, Taz did a film with her and…I think there might have been some nudity. He told Andi to think of the film as art, and the body as the paint.”
“Dear, God…no.” The woman seemed to age ten years in as many seconds. Her hands trembled as she held them to her mouth. “What has she done?”
“I asked her what was wrong. I’ve tried lots of times. She always tells me she’s fine.” Bailey pictured the last time, when Andi wouldn’t even look at her. “Can you take her to a doctor?”
“I’ve brought it up three times since we pulled in. She doesn’t want to go.”
Bailey’s heart hurt for her friend. “If there’s anything I can do, please…let me know.”
“My sweet Andi.” She groaned. “How could this happen?”
“I’m sorry. I wish…I wish I had more to tell you. I’ve been at home more often this last semester. I missed my family, and…well…Andi didn’t seem to want me around. She stopped going to Campus Crusade, and she didn’t want to talk about her faith. She just seemed, I don’t know, different.”
“She is.” Mrs. Ellison reached across the counter and patted Bailey’s hand. “You go on with the others, Bailey. But pray for her, will you? She’s our only child, and I won’t stand by while she slips away.”
“I’ll pray, yes ma’am. Again, I’m sorry.” Bailey bid the woman good-bye and joined the others outside. The minute she was back out in the sunshine, she felt like she could breathe again. The tension inside the house was that thick. Even then the sadness of the situation remained. Bailey remembered Andi once saying she needed to experience life. Real life. But now her choices had darkened everything about her world and her existence. Her eyes no longer shone with life. That was the saddest, scariest part about this new Andi.
The life she had tried to find looked a whole lot more like death.
L
ISA WAS FINISHED BEING PASSIVE
. I
T
was their third day in Bloomington, and Andi’s behavior was terrifying her. When Andi wasn’t sleeping, she was slipping out of the house and taking off for hours at a time without a word to either her or Keith. When she’d return, she’d act despondent and nonplussed, as if it were perfectly normal to come and go without checking in.
This morning Lisa had woken to a quiet house, tiptoed back to Andi’s room, and peeked in to find her gone again. Fear and sorrow twisted around her heart as she leaned on Andi’s bedroom door frame.
What’s happening, Lord…what’s going on with her? And why can’t we reach her? I know You’re here, and I know You care…so why is this happening?
Faith without works is dead, my daughter…you must take action…
The answer was quick and clear, and it seemed to come straight from God. Faith without works was dead…that was a Bible verse from James. But what action was she supposed to take?
She walked back down the hallway, collected her well-worn Bible from the desk in their new office, and sat at the dining room table. As she thumbed through the book, sunlight streamed through the window and splashed rays of hope across the pages. She knew exactly where she was headed—the same place she turned as a missionary when she’d reached the end of herself, when the walls were closing in and defeat seemed certain.
1 Chronicles 28:20. She reached it quickly and ran her thumb
over the oft-read section.
Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you…
God was with her. That’s what she needed to remember. The Lord knew the battle they were fighting for Andi, and He knew what needed to happen next. She and Keith needed to stay in the fight, they needed to take action somehow and stay courageous. Even when fear over the changes in Andi threatened to consume them. Lisa picked up the phone and made an appointment with a Christian counselor she’d read about in the local Yellow Pages. Then she waited for Keith to wake up.
A few minutes later she heard him in the kitchen making coffee. “Morning, honey.”
“Morning.”
“I’m in here.”
He crossed the kitchen and leaned into the dining room. “Hi.” His half smile warmed the chilly space between them. “Where’s Andi?”
“Gone again.”
He exhaled long and slowly and rubbed the back of his neck. “We need to talk to her.”
“Bring the coffee in here when it’s ready.” Lisa could feel the fight building inside her, the one for her daughter’s life. “I booked her an appointment with the Christian counselor I told you about.”
Keith held her eyes for a long few seconds. “We’ll get through this.”
“We will.”
As Keith returned to the coffee, Lisa leaned back in her seat and stared out the window at the small fenced yard. Had they really left their house and moved across country in a matter of days? And what about the other changes they’d gone through? Chase done with making movies…Dayne Matthews jumping in
as Keith’s new co-producer and ministry partner…everything was happening so fast Lisa could barely see for the dizziness she sometimes felt.
She closed her eyes and breathed in slowly. God was in this; even when life felt crazy, God was in the details for those who loved Him. Dayne was proof. He was a perfect fit for Keith, savvy to the industry and with a name that brought instant respect and open doors. Thankfully, Dayne and Katy had been able to stay on in LA for the last few business meetings pertaining to the release of
The Last Letter
and the pre-production for
Unlocked.
Keith had been there for most of the appointments, but then their San Jose house they’d found renters for their so quickly. Since then life had been a crazy race. Professional movers packed up their house, and they were on the road to Bloomington.
So Dayne Matthews was definitely proof God was still providing. Even so Keith needed a week to help catch Dayne up to speed on the history of Jeremiah Productions and all that went on during the filming of
The Last Letter
, all that was at stake with
Unlocked.
Dayne and his family were flying home from LA this weekend, and early next week Brandon Paul was coming here to meet them. Brandon was happy for the trip. Something about needing a break from Hollywood and wanting to clear his head.
As great as Bloomington was, Lisa couldn’t imagine staying here very long. They were renting—a one-year lease. A good call, really. It would allow Keith to work closely with Dayne Matthews and film
Unlocked.
Most of all it had brought them to Andi. But she and Keith had a feeling this wasn’t home. Not for any of them. They were missionaries, and the fields God had given them were the ripe ones of Hollywood. It was fine for Dayne to live here and commute, but Lisa had a feeling she and Keith would wind up in Los Angeles.
When that happened, she wanted Andi with them.
From the moment they saw their daughter, Lisa and Keith
knew something was terribly wrong. Lisa guessed Andi was on drugs, and maybe she was. But she’d looked through her daughter’s things when Andi was out and found nothing to support the notion. Whatever the reason, the changes were drastic. A year ago Andi was the happiest teenage girl Lisa and Keith knew. Now she seemed trapped in a full-blown case of depression with all the accompanying symptoms. Exhaustion, a lack of interest in life, no appetite, despondency. Lisa stared at her open Bible. Of course there was the other unthinkable possibility, the one Lisa hated to consider.
Andi might be pregnant with Taz’s baby.
Whatever was wrong, when Andi came home this time—from wherever she’d gone that morning—she and Keith would sit her down and explain as kindly as they could what they were about to do.
Keith joined her with two cups of coffee. He gave her the one with cream and took the seat opposite her. “I’ve been praying all morning. I hope she’ll at least agree to the appointment.”
“She will.” Lisa had to believe her daughter wasn’t so far gone that she’d defy them to their faces. “The woman’s a Christian counselor. That shouldn’t feel threatening.”
Keith held his coffee up to his face and closed his eyes. He looked weary and worn out. “Tell me more about what Bailey said.” He blinked and stared at her, as if he were hoping for a different answer this time.
“Just that the change happened when she started dating this Taz character. But she got worse after they broke up.”
“How could a complete stranger convince her to take off her clothes?” Anger simmered in Keith’s tone. “That’s not how we raised her.”
“Honey,” Lisa felt compassion for her daughter, even if she didn’t understand her decisions. “I think that was the point. She wanted to be different.”
“Is this because of the movies? Because we chose Bailey and not her for that extra role?”
“Keith, don’t.” She took hold of his hand across the table. “We could both blame ourselves. That isn’t the point. We have to deal with where she’s at now.”
“What about…” his voice broke and he looked at the ceiling for a few seconds. A quick shake of his head and he struggled to find control again. “What if she’s pregnant? We have to help her, Lisa. We can’t just…you know, take her to some shrink and hope for the best.” He waved his hand toward the front door. “She could be out there having an abortion right now.”
Lisa had thought about that. Last night she’d gone into Andi’s room and found her curled up beneath the covers before it was dark out. She’d sat on the bed beside her daughter and smoothed her hand over her newly dark short hair. “Baby, tell me…whatever it is, just tell me.”
But Andi only reached out her hand and took hold of Lisa’s.
“Really, honey,” Lisa kept her voice as kind and non-judgmental as possible. She prayed her daughter would hear the love of God with every word. “You can tell me anything. Trust me, Andi, please, sweetheart.”
“I’m sorry.” She muttered without once even turning to look at Lisa. “I’m just tired.”
Keith set his coffee down. “Have you seen her eat since we’ve been home?”
“A bowl of oatmeal yesterday. That’s about it.”
“Maybe that’s where she is now—having breakfast with the guy. Maybe she’s running off with him.”
“No.” Lisa was convinced that wasn’t the case. Andi wouldn’t have come home at all if Taz still had that kind of control over her. “Bailey says he’s seeing someone else.”
Keith pursed his lips, seething with anger toward the guy and whatever he’d done to exact such a change in their daughter. But
before he could say anything else, they heard the front door open. “Andi?” Keith was on his feet.
“Careful,” Lisa whispered. Her look warned him to go easy. She wasn’t a minor; she could leave anytime and never come back. It happened with grown kids all the time.
With a quick nod, Keith mouthed that it would be okay. Then he stepped into the entryway. “Andi…”
“Hi.” She walked into the dining room with Keith at her side. As soon as she saw Lisa, she stopped and looked from one of them to the other. “Am I in trouble?”
“We’re worried about you.” Lisa felt like she was walking a tightrope. She couldn’t sound like a martyr or a victim, but she had to get her point across. “As long as you’re living with us, you need to tell us where you’re going. When you’ll be home.”
“Okay.” Andi set her backpack down. “I wasn’t sure you were awake. I went to school and talked to a counselor. I’m thinking about moving to Indianapolis for the summer. So I can take classes at IU’s Indianapolis campus.”
Nothing Andi said lately added up, and this was no exception. Lisa tried to keep her expression even. “Honey…don’t they offer summer classes here?”
Andi looked nervously from Keith back to Lisa. “Yes, but…three of my friends from theater are spending the summer in the city. They already have an apartment there, and they said I can live with them.” She paused, but when neither Lisa nor Keith said anything, she rushed on. “Plus there’s an acting coach there; she’s offering us discounted classes, and Mom, you said so yourself, I can’t expect to walk into an audition and get a part just because my dad’s a producer. Not without training.” Andi grabbed a quick breath. “Oh, and the Indianapolis campus has a stronger art department—that’s what the counselor told me this morning. I need three art courses to complete my general ed and the pre-reqs for my major.”
Andi went on about exactly which art classes she wanted to take, and Lisa listened, skeptical. Her daughter’s explanation reminded her of an incident in Indonesia when Andi brought a painted vase home from the village women’s craft table. Lisa had a feeling her daughter didn’t have permission to take the item, but when she asked about it Andi rattled off a long explanation. It was the first time Lisa had caught her in a lie, and now Andi’s tone, the look in her eyes, was the very same. Struggling to create an explanation where in all honesty there was none.
When she finished, Keith looked at Andi for a long time. His eyes told her that clearly he was concerned. “Sounds like your mind’s made up.”
“It is.” Andi was practically breathless from the monologue, but she seemed about to slip back into her new, more sedate personality. She was still standing near the dining room table, but she slouched back against the wall. “I’m driving there Friday to get things settled.”
It was already Thursday, so the idea of Andi leaving so soon stirred instant anxiety in Lisa’s heart. If they were going to help her, they didn’t have much time. “Can I ask, honey, how you’re planning to pay for a summer in Indianapolis?”
Andi’s hesitation was just long enough for Lisa to be sure. Her daughter clearly hadn’t thought about this part of her plan. “I can get a job. I might do some acting too. The coach might have some leads. I was hoping you would help out like you do during the regular school year.”
Lisa figured this wasn’t the time to explain that expenses would begin the minute she arrived. No one would let her share an apartment without paying rent. Then there would be meals and gas and a number of other costs. She looked at Keith, and his eyes told her it was time to move on, get to the point.
Keith took the lead. He sucked in a long, steadying breath. “Sit down, sweetheart. Your mother and I need to talk to you.”
Again Andi looked from him to Lisa and back again. “About what?”
“Just sit down.” Keith was struggling to stay patient. “Please, Andi.”
She slowly pulled out the seat at the head of the table, putting her between the two of them. Lisa closed her eyes for a few seconds.
Give us the words, Lord. We don’t want to turn her away. Please.
“In the few days since we’ve been here, your mom and I have seen a drastic change in you, honey.” Keith kept his words slow and measured. He sat back and folded his hands on the table. “Something’s clearly wrong and we’ve made you an appointment with—”
“Dad! I told you, I’m fine!” Panic pierced Andi’s eyes. She made a sound that was part frustration, part fearful defiance. “Just because I’m tired? Do you know how many college students are tired after finals?” With a quick, jerky motion, she ran her fingers through her bangs, struggling. “I don’t need a doctor; I need to catch my breath.”
Keith waited a long moment after Andi’s interruption before trying again. “What I was saying,” his voice was calmer than before, “is that we’ve made an appointment for you to see a Christian counselor.” He looked at Lisa. “It’s at one this afternoon, right?”
“Right.” Lisa felt tears in her eyes. She was sitting close enough that she put her hand on Andi’s shoulder. “Honey, you need to talk to someone. We think maybe you’re dealing with some depression.”
Lisa expected Andi to fight back about this, too, but she didn’t. She slumped in her chair and laid her arms on the table, defeated. “So like, an hour with a counselor? That’s what you want me to do?”
“Yes.” Keith’s tone said that the matter wasn’t open to
debate. “If there’s something going on, maybe she can help you talk through it.” His expression softened. “Sweetheart, we love you, but you’re scaring us.”