Taking Heart (14 page)

“You're not invincible, Dylan.” She turned back to Chase. “What do we do now?”

“I stay.”

“How much room do you think I have here?” She looked back toward the house.

“Send Bailey and Justin home. Neither of them can help, and they aren't deterring him. They are more of a liability now than an asset.” He looked at Gage and Dylan. Dylan recognized the steady, warning look in Chase's eyes. This could get dangerous quickly. He nodded his understanding. “The three of us will be with you at all times.”

“And how am I going to explain you being here?”

Chase reached over and petted Tango's head. “You're helping me find a dog for the department, of course. We've been tossing around the idea of starting some sort of search and rescue for years.” She shot him a dubious glance. “Okay, maybe not, but no one else will know that. I'll let Dad know what we're planning, but, if we get lucky, my being here might be enough to lure Evan out in the open again.”

Dylan jumped up again. “You can't use her as a pawn.”

“You have a better plan?” Roscoe whined, but Chase didn't break Dylan's stare. “As long as you're okay with this, Julia, I think we should do it.”

“Julia, this is stupid and dangerous.”

“I don't really see that there's any other option, Dylan. If this means he can be put away for good, if this will end it sooner and still keep everyone safe, I'm all for it. I'm tired of being afraid.” She looked at Chase.

Dylan rubbed a hand over his head. Gage met his eyes, and he could see the concern there. He clearly didn't like this idea either. But Dylan didn't have a clue how to convince Julia different. She didn't realize how much danger she was putting herself into, trying to keep everyone else safe.

“I'll get my stuff and be back in about an hour. Right now, let's plan on a week.”

“That long?”

“Hopefully not, but it's really going to depend on how much patience Evan has.”

Dylan clenched his jaw. Evan had already proved his patience, and a week wouldn't be long enough. The man had held a grudge in prison for the past four years. He'd waited months after getting out, watching Julia, until he was ready to contact her again. He'd been hiding, in town, right under the noses of people actively searching for him before following her into the store. They weren't going to be able to fool him with this harebrained scheme. It might protect Julia in the short term, but Evan was going to find a way to get to her—and Dylan had to stop it.

J
ULIA SAT IN
the corner of the couch with Tango curled up beside her. Justin had left, hesitantly, but trusting in Chase's plan to keep her safe. She wasn't as convinced this plan would work, but she was willing to give it a shot. Dylan, on the other hand, was downright peevish. He didn't like the idea of her being a live pawn to lure Evan into the open. Even Gage had voiced his concerns. In the end, it came down to wanting her freedom back. She was tired of living in fear and was willing to try just about anything. Until she did, she'd be a prisoner to her past.

She'd had a measure of that freedom after Evan went to prison and she adopted Tango. Since his release, Evan had haunted her every thought again. She was plagued with thoughts of being watched or attacked. If this plan freed her, she could take steps toward her future.

The more time she spent with Dylan, the more she realized she wanted that future. The one from her girlish fantasies. The one that had a happily ever after with a husband and kids. She'd thought that future had died after Evan's attack and the resulting trauma she dealt with on a daily basis. She'd given up hope of finding someone she could trust, who could help her trust herself again. But Dylan was different.

She looked up as he entered the room and leaned against the door frame. “Gage is going to get some work done. He wants to know if he can use your office.”

“Of course.” She tucked her feet under her, making more room for him on the couch, but Tango saw it as an opportunity to spread out farther. Instead of sitting on the couch, Dylan sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of her and reached for a hand.

“You know I don't like this so-called plan of Chase's, right? I don't like you being right in the sights of that maniac.”

Julia sighed. She didn't want to have this argument again. She'd already had it with Justin. No one else would understand unless they'd been in her shoes. Dylan should understand the dream to go back to what she'd been before. “I know, I don't either. But I want my life back, at least what's left of it. I thought you'd get that.”

“Julia.”

“Dylan, if you were able to go back, to change what happened to you, wouldn't you? If you could fix it?”

“Honey, you're not going back. You're being reckless. You're risking yourself to catch a stalker.”

She slid her hand away from his. “I'm trying to set things right. I was helpless the last time. He took me by surprise. He used my trust and my faith in him against me. This time, he's not catching me unaware. I'm waiting for him, and I'm turning the tables.”

She felt fire burning in her chest, the desire to grasp her destiny with her hands instead of letting someone else shape it. “I'm setting up the attack on him and luring him into it.”

“You want to be in a position of control.”

“Yes.” She was relieved he'd understood.

“No.”

Her face fell as disappointment filled her. Why couldn't he see this wasn't as dangerous as he was making it sound? She pulled her knees up and hugged them to her chest, creating a barrier between them. She laid her cheek against them, refusing to look at him. It really didn't matter if he agreed. This was her choice. But she wanted him to be on board with the decision.

“This is just the illusion of control, Julia.” She turned her head away, not wanting him to see her tears of frustration. “I told you I was a medic, but did I ever tell you that in my seven years, I never lost a man? I was great at my job because I knew exactly what to do and when.”

She turned back to face him, but he wasn't looking at her. Dylan was staring down at his hands, rubbing his thumb over the back of the other in agitation before running one hand over the top of his head. Then he met her gaze. She could see agony in the deep mahogany depths, but there was more, a need to purge the demon inside. She recognized it because she'd felt the same way when she told him about what Evan had done. It had hurt to open the wound, but it also led to healing. Since that night, since sharing the painful memory, it had held less power over her.

“But that last day was different. We'd been ordered to scout out an abandoned base to see if it would be possible to retake it. It was supposed give us a foothold in enemy territory. We should have known something wasn't right. It was too easy to slip in. Once we were all inside, they came at us. Sprang it like a mousetrap. We tried to pull out. We managed to get everyone back, but then one of our guys took a bullet. It was bad.”

She saw his eyes glaze over as his voice fell silent for a moment. He was reliving the scene in his head and experiencing the horror again. Roscoe jumped into his lap and bumped his chin with his nose. Dylan's eyes cleared quickly.

“I lied to him and told him I could save him.” He went on as if he hadn't paused. Julia wondered if he even realized he had, or that Roscoe had almost instantly drawn him from the flashback. “He had a family. A wife and kids. It was my job, but I couldn't do anything.”

Dylan shook his head and buried his forehead into his hands. “I refused to leave him there. I knew what would happen if they got a hold of him. We were trying to get him out when they hit us again. They were both killed, Julia.”

“They?”

“Jefferies and Michaels.” He rubbed a hand over his face.

“That's when you were shot?”

He shook his head. “I heard the bullet ricochet off the wall just before the grenade hit behind me. It knocked me off my feet again. I have no idea how I lived. I have no idea
why
I lived.” His voice caught, choked with emotion. “They both had families, kids who will never see their dads again. I was supposed to save them.”

Roscoe nudged his elbow, and Julia moved to be closer to him, dropping to her knees in front of him, forcing him to look at her. She could see the tears in his eyes, see that retelling this story was ripping his heart out. But Dylan was here, in the present, and she knew how hard that was for him. According to what Gage told her, to remain focused in the face of the terror he was reliving was an accomplishment he couldn't have achieved a week ago.

Dylan's hands curved around the back of her head, curling into her hair. “I thought I had everything under control. I was wrong. You can't control this, Julia, and I won't lose you.”

Before she could respond, to tell him again how this was different, he bent forward, his mouth seeking hers. This wasn't the tenderness she'd come to expect from him, and the intensity frightened her even as it excited her. His tongue swept into her mouth—searing, branding, mating with her, and shivers of anticipation danced over her. Dylan slid his hands over her hips, dragging her against his body before easing onto the couch with her, shoving Tango aside.

Tango voiced his disapproval but jumped down. Dylan never tore his mouth from hers as he leaned over her. She wound her hands around the back of his head, his short hair tickling her palms. She was just as desperate for his touch. The thought that this man trusted her enough to open up, to be vulnerable and tell her what happened to him, filled her eyes with tears of her own.

“Oh, sorry. I didn't realize.” Gage stopped in the doorway.

Dylan pressed his forehead against hers, barely tearing himself away from her mouth. He growled deep in his throat, but she slid her hand over his cheek and pressed a quick, embarrassed kiss to his chin and squirmed from under him.

“It's fine, Gage.” She saw the muscle working in Dylan's cheek. “We were talking about Evan.”

A grin slid to Gage's face. “That didn't look like talking.” Julia felt the heat rise in her cheeks, burning her face.

Dylan, ever her hero, rose and moved to stand beside her. “Stop, Gage. Don't embarrass her.” He frowned at his brother. “We were talking about why I think this plan of Chase's is too dangerous to try. I ended up telling her what happened.”

“Oh? Oh!” Surprise arched Gage's brows high on his forehead. “Just for the record, I know you didn't ask me, but I think Dylan is right. This is a dangerous plan with a lot that can go wrong. All it takes is one wrong move and someone could get hurt.”

Julia sighed again. How was she supposed to trust herself when no one else seemed to trust her judgment? “So, I'm intelligent enough to help your brother overcome his PTSD, to train service dogs, and run this ranch, but I'm not smart enough to make this decision on my own?”

She felt her temper flare up. She was trying to stand on her own feet again, and everyone seemed determined to remind her she was too weak. She was tired of being viewed as weak. Evan saw her as weak. She refused to be powerless any longer.

“I don't remember asking for input on this decision. I'm staying.” She looked up at Dylan. “I was hoping for your support in this, but if you can't do it, you and Gage are welcome to take Roscoe and leave. I can give you the name of another great trainer, and you can finish with him. But I'm seeing this through until Evan is back behind bars. I won't be a victim anymore.”

She stormed out of the room, leaving Gage staring openmouthed and Dylan rubbing his forehead in frustration.

“J
ULIA, OPEN THE
door.”

“Go away, Dylan.”

It broke her heart to turn him away, especially after what he'd just shared with her, but she couldn't back down from this decision. They both had a choice to make. He could either stay and they could see this through together, or he could turn his back on her, and the danger Evan posed. He could take Roscoe and she would help him find someone else to finish their training. The thought of him leaving made her chest ache, and she couldn't breathe. She wanted to believe she cared about Roscoe and Dylan's training, the progress they were making, more than she did her relationship with him, but the truth was that the man had her twisting in the wind. She was head over heels and couldn't do a damn thing to stop it. The worst part was that she had to keep it to herself.

Her siblings already second-guessed her decisions after what had happened with Evan. If she told Justin she'd fallen for a client again, he'd read her the riot act. It was clear he already suspected she was starting to, which explained his attitude toward Dylan, but if she confessed that she was in love with him, Justin would go nuts.

“Julia, let me in.” His voice was quietly insistent and she caved, unable to find it within her to deny him. She opened the door a crack but didn't say anything. “I don't agree with this choice, but you know I won't leave. You're safer with me here than with me gone.”

“That's why you're staying?” She felt her chest constrict painfully. She wanted to be more than an obligation to him. She didn't want him to see her as another job responsibility. “I have enough people trying to rescue me, Dylan.” She started to close the door.

Dylan held his hand against it and pushed it open, stepping inside the room. “Not the way I can.” He let the dog in and shut the door behind him. His hands found her waist. “I didn't come here looking to be your savior, Julia.” He ran his thumb over her lower lip, his eyes focused on hers. “And I didn't come here looking for this. But, I'm not willing to throw it away now that I've found it.”

“I don't want you to go,” she whispered, wanting nothing more than to go back to the simplicity they'd had this morning.

“Good, because I'm not leaving until you ask me to.” A cocky grin lifted the corner of his mouth. “Maybe not even then.”

Julia frowned, trying not to let his words remind her of the last time a man had refused to leave.

He must have seen it and realized what she was thinking. “That's not what I meant.”

“I know. It's just . . . ” She wasn't sure how to explain it to him.

“It's just that your mind feels like it's operating on two different systems. One is just like everyone else and, at times, convinces you everything is completely normal. The other chooses moments, little things that flip a switch like a trigger on a gun, and take you back to that point in time when it all went wrong.”

“Exactly.” She looked up at him, surprised he put her feelings into words. “I think that's why I love you so much. Because you get it.”

His brows lifted in shock he tried to hide. She grasped what she'd accidentally revealed, and her face paled. “I mean . . . I . . . ”

Dylan bent his head and brushed his lips against hers, sliding his hand into her hair. She sighed, unable to stop the pleasure from enveloping her. His kiss was new and exciting, but it was also comfortable and safe. The flutters in her belly were overwhelmed by the warmth that spread through her veins. His lips moved over her jaw, pressing against the racing pulse at her throat as his hands circled her waist.

“Dylan, I . . . ” Her brain continued to betray her as his hand slid over the curve of her breast, his thumb toying with the beaded peak through her bra and shirt.

“Shh,” he whispered against her skin. “I
do
get it.” He met her eyes and brushed her bangs back with his fingertips. “I love you, too. It's too soon and it doesn't make sense to me either, but it doesn't change how I feel, Julia.”

She felt as if he'd just opened the floodgates of her soul. Tears filled her eyes, and he brushed them away and smiled tenderly. “That wasn't supposed to make you cry, you know.”

“I know.” She swiped at her cheeks, looking up at him through her lashes. “Dylan, what are we going to do?” The single question encompassed so many others she didn't dare ask. Where did they go from here? Would he stay or leave eventually? What would everyone think when they found out? What would happen with Evan?

His lips were a mere breath from hers. “We'll figure everything out. Right now, I'm going to show you how much I love you.”

D
YLAN LAY ON
his back with Julia curled in his arms, asleep. He trailed his fingers over her skin, feeling the goosebumps breaking out over her smooth flesh, and she sighed against him. Her warm breath heated his skin, making desire seep into parts he thought were satiated. Apparently his body couldn't get enough of Julia any more than his heart could. He took a deep breath, wondering what in the world he thought he was doing. It wasn't fair to tie her down to the likes of him.