Taking Shots (Assassins) (69 page)

“
I know.”

“
You know with her running the studio and with the house,” Jakob continued. Shea didn’t want to seem rude, but hearing about Jakob’s perfect life was not what he wanted at the moment.

“
I know, dude,” Jakob looked over at Shea nodding before going back to lacing his skates, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“
Okay.”

They were silent again as they continued to suit up. All Shea could think about was if he was really ready to skate out on that ice, knowing he would not see
her
. He wished like hell, he would go out on the ice and she would be sitting there, grinning. With her hot dog and beer, a number six on her cheek, and his jersey on her beautiful body. God, how he wished for that. How if he could, he would go back in time. Not take Victoria with him to get
her
engagement ring, go alone, because he knew that if he had left that crazy bitch at home, he would be engaged right now, living in their house together, being happy.

But that was all a dream, this was his realty.

“
Are you still going to the event tomorrow?” Jakob asked knocking him out of his dream land and back to real life.

“
Yeah, I gotta get back to the way I was, starting with practice in the morning and the event tomorrow night,” Shea answered with a nod, Jakob smirked over at him.

“
Good, I feel good about tomorrow.”

Shea didn’t know what the hell there was to feel good about but whatever; Jakob was a weird dude sometimes.

When Shea was fully dressed, he got up and headed towards the hall that would lead to the entrance to the ice. He grabbed his stick, and with every step the roar of the crowd got louder. This is what he loved; hockey is what always loved him. He was good at it, he loved it. Why couldn’t it be enough? When he stepped on the ice, his eyes immediately went to her seats. Two older guys sat there, both pointing at the opposite team, and for the love of hockey they didn’t even have Assassins’ jerseys on, but Duck ones.

Shea was sure that the tightness in his chest was from the fact that she had sold her tickets to Duck fans, and not because she wasn’t sitting there.

Who was he kidding?

When Shea’s phone alarm when off the next afternoon, he rolled over, turning it off. He moved to his back, looking up at the vaulted ceilings of the room that they would never share. He figured the nap would do him some good after the vagarious practiced he had that morning, but he probably needed to sleep for the nap to help. With a huff, he got off the blown up mattress and headed into the bathroom to take a shower. He really needed to bring his things over from the condo, the damn blow up mattress was doing hell on his back and he missed sleeping in his bed.

As Shea washed his body, he knew he wouldn’t be able to bring that bed over to the house to sleep in because of the same reason he couldn’t sleep with a female in that bed. She had slept in that bed with him for months, they made loved in that bed. Even after kicking the females out of the condo, he always slept on the floor or on the couch. The bed held to many memories and he couldn’t do it. So Shea decided he needed to go shopping for a new bed the next day.

After doing his hair, he looked himself over. His playoff beard was growing in nicely; it was probably the only thing that was doing good in his life. Last year he placed fifth on the list for best beard, he was hoping for first this year. Hey, he didn’t have much to look forward to in life right now. After putting on his suit, and tying up his chucks he was ready to go. Even though he’d rather stay home, he knew he had to go.

So he went.

Walking into the Ronald McDonald House event wasn’t easy. It wasn’t that Shea didn’t love the program, he did, but he didn’t want to be there. He didn’t want to suck up to the big heads, he didn’t want to see his teammates that didn’t like him much, and he definitely didn’t want to see Bryan Fisher. Seeing him always made Shea want to break out in hives. Shea knew Bryan could see that he was hurting by just looking in his eyes. Shea hated that, he hated people knowing he was weak, but he just couldn’t put on the ‘everything is fine’ act.

Shea wanted to drop off his donation and leave, but he couldn’t. He had to put on a smile, act like life was grand, and he had to entertain his date. Some country singer Damon had hooked him up with, Alexi Lynn. She was nice, Shea guessed. Quiet, sweet, but not what he wanted. The big blonde hair, deep brown eyes, huge breasts, and small waist was not his thing anymore. No matter how hard he tried.

Alexi hung on Shea’s arm in her long yellow gown, that accentuate her breasts, with a grin so large, that he was blinded by her perfect white teeth. Alexi’s teeth made Shea miss
her
teeth, the way the front one bent into the other one always drove him mad. It was crazy how he missed even the simplest things about
her
. When Shea saw Jakob, he put on a smile, but it promptly fell when he saw the look of horror on Jakob’s face.

“
Jake, are you okay?”

“
I didn’t know you were bringing someone,” Jakob said looking at Alexi before looking behind him.

“
Yeah, this is Alexi Lynn, Alexi my best friend Jakob.” Alexi smiled, shaking his hand as Jakob looked around.

“
Nice to meet you,” Jakob mumbled before stopping and looking off to the side. Shea followed his gaze, and when his eyes met with the same green eyes he had been missing the past two months, he took in a sharp breath.

“
Elli.”

Elli stood in a long shinny purple gown that had rhinestones lining the low dipped front; it was the dress she bought in Boston. He had picked it out for her. Her beautiful green eyes were wide, filling with tears as seconds turned into minutes while they stood with their gazes locked. He couldn’t look away though; she had lost weight, a lot of it. As he took in every single detail of her, the dark circles under her eyes, the sullen look on her face, she looked as bad as he did, but he still thought she was beautiful. Shea wondered if she was here to see him. Was this his chance?

Shea took a step towards her, but she shook her head before turning and taking off towards the exit.

“
Elli! Wait!” Shea called as he tried to get by the hundreds of people that stood in his way. Shea received dirty looks as he pushed and moved past people, almost knocking over a waiter that held a platter of champagne, but he didn’t care. He had to get to her. When he made it outside the arena, Elli was gone. He took out his phone, pushing on her icon, before putting it up to his ear. It surprised the hell out of him when her voice ranged through the phone.

“
What, Shea?”

“
Elli, come on talk to me,” he said pinching the bridge of his nose, “Let’s meet up, talk.”

“
No, Shea, I came here thinking that maybe I was wrong, maybe I needed to see you to prove to myself that we can work it out, because I’m not over you but God I was wrong!”

“
Baby, you aren’t wrong, we need to talk, please, come back.”

“
No, I’m done, Shea, you’ve moved on, now I need too,” she yelled into the phone. When he heard her take in a shaky breath, he knew she was crying. “You’ve moved on, while I’ve been a mess for the last two months, but no more.”

“
Elli, I haven’t-”

“
No, I’m done. Don’t you ever call me again, if you see me, act like you don’t, cause you are dead to me Shea Adler. Dead.”

When the line went dead, Shea let out a frustrated yell, throwing the phone into the street before sliding down the wall till he was sitting; his legs sprawled out in front of him. Shea cradled his face in his hands, listening to the traffic drive by while quiet sobs ripped through his body.

Why wouldn’t she listen to him?

Why couldn’t he catch a break when it came to Elli?

All Shea could do was ask
why?

When Elli arrived home, she stomped through her house, ripping off one of the most expensive dress she had ever bought, throwing it against the wall before throwing on a tee and going back into the foyer of her house. She had been torturing herself, leaving pictures of that asshole up on her walls so that every time she passed by them, he would be fucking grinning at her! Her heart would break a little more each time she passed the picture because she couldn’t put her pride aside and go to him! Go and tell him that she loved him more than she needed to breathe.

But no more!

Elli ripped down every single picture of Shea, placing each one by the door. Taking down the signed jersey was probably the hardest, and heaviest, but she did it. Even through the tears that fell down her cheeks, she continued to de-Shea her house. She had to. If she was gonna move on like he had, she was going to have to get rid of anything the reminded her of him. When she was done, a mound of things sat beside her door, staring back at her.

Elli closed her eyes, letting the tears leak out her eyes and down her cheeks as horrid sobs raked through her body. Elli never thought de-Shea-ing her house was gonna hurt so bad, but it had to happen.

It had too.

When Elli woke up the next morning, she went through her usual morning routine. As she walked through her house, Adler bounced beside her, ready to go out. When she reached the foyer and saw the mound of things she had piled up the night before, it was as if her legs gave out from underneath her, and she crumbled onto the ground, bawling as she stared at Shea’s beautiful face that was staring back at her.

Adler came over to her, nudging his way into her lap. Elli needed the comfort, so she wrapped her arms around her oversized pup, crying into his thick fur. Elli let the tears fall, soaking her poor dog’s fur, not that she thought he minded. He would probably cry if he could, Elli knew he missed Shea, probably as much as she did. When she was done crying, she stood up, letting Adler out before sitting on the waiting chair that sat in front of the front windows. Her eyes moved along all the things that piled up so high against the wall, and felt like things wouldn’t get better until they were gone, but she couldn’t just throw them away.

It took about two seconds before Elli knew what to do with them. All she had to do was have the balls to go give them to him.

“
Elli, it was so good to hear from you,” Grace said as she held the door open, letting Elli in. Seeing Grace hurt as much as it did seeing Shea the night before, Grace looked so much like Shea that it was almost as if she was staring into Shea’s eyes. She remember when she thought her life wouldn’t go on without seeing Shea’s family, that how it would kill her not being able to see them when she wanted and it had. She had missed Grace, James, Ryan and Amelia like she had missed Shea. There was a point in time when she felt that they were her family too, but that was ten weeks ago.

Now she was just another one of Shea’s ex’s, a notch in his bed post, a total loser.

When her eyes started to water up, Elli took in a deep breath, looking down at her heels.

“
Yeah, um, everything’s in the truck,” Elli said, mindlessly messing with the bottom of her shirt. She couldn’t look Grace in the eyes, it hurt too much.

“
James will get everything, come into the kitchen with me for a bit, we’ll have some tea while he unloads.”

“
Oh, well, it shouldn’t take long,” Elli said as Grace started walking towards the kitchen. Grace stopped, looking over her shoulder at Elli. Elli wasn’t sure but she swore that she saw tears in Grace’s eyes.

“
Are you really going to run out on me Elli? I haven’t seen you in months.” Grace was guilt tripping Elli, and she knew it, but she followed Grace anyways into her spacious kitchen. What would it hurt to catch up for a minute or so?

When Elli saw Ryan, her heart got caught in her throat. She hoped he would have been at school, but nope, there he was grinning at her. Ryan popped up, running towards her, wrapping his small little arms around her waist, almost doing Elli in. Elli bent down some, taking the boy in her arms, hugging him tightly.

“
Ms. Elli, I’ve missed you so much!”

“
Oh, Ryan, I’ve missed you buddy, what are you doing home?”

“
They took my tonsils out! So I get to eat ice cream and lay around with mommy and daddy all day!” he said in his rambunctious five year old way. Elli had to smile at him; he was just so damn cute and she had missed him so.

“
Oh my, are you alright?”

“
I am! I’m strong just like my Unky, is he with you?”

The air rushed out of Elli, causing her to stop for a minute to try to breathe, he looked up at her with his innocent eyes, waiting for an answer. Elli slowly shook her head, “No sweetie, he’s not.”

Ryan’s little face scrunched up as he looked up at her, “Have you seen him? I haven’t seen him in so long, and I just want to see him.”

Thankfully Grace swooped in, taking Ryan in her arms as she walked out the kitchen, cooing something about Shea coming to see Ryan soon. Why hadn’t he been by to see Ryan? What the hell is wrong with him? Ryan needed him.

Selfish ass.

Ryan was a just a kid, a baby and knowing that Shea couldn’t even come see him caused Elli to be so disgusted with him that angry tears threaten to fall down her cheeks.