Jeri threw a soft pillow at him, which he pretended hurt. He was rubbing his “injury” so dramatically Jana couldn’t help but chuckle. She realized in that moment that Darak was very good at disarming almost any situation with humor.
The men finally left the two sisters alone for a short time, using the excuse that they wanted to go over specs for the refit of the
Circe
. Jeri knew full well Darak had everything in hand with the ship that used to be her husband’s command, but appreciated the fact that they had made some effort to make their leaving seem uncontrived.
She wanted time alone to get to know her older sister again. They had been apart for so long, subjected to horrors neither one fully knew about the other. They had much to talk about and much to learn if they were to regain the loving relationship they had once shared.
“I missed you so much, Jana.”
“I remember the Wizards taking me and how you hid. I knew they hadn’t gotten you, though I saw them… I saw them kill Mother and Dad.” Her voice grew soft with painful memory. “They wanted me to see it. It was part of their conditioning. They wanted me to know I had no home to return to.”
“The devils!” Jeri was incensed by the pain she saw in her sister’s eyes.
“They are that,” Jana agreed with a wry twist of her lips. “Perhaps it’s a blessing in disguise that I don’t remember very much of my time under their control.”
“You don’t?”
Jana shook her head, her eyes trained on something only she could see. “It’s foggy. I sometimes see moments of clarity, but they’re out of context for the most part. Only a few times was I completely free of the collective, for mating purposes, and those times, I’d rather not remember at all.”
“Mating purposes?” Jeri didn’t think she liked the sound of that.
Jana nodded absently. “They try to breed more Wizards by choosing the more powerful females to breed to the ruling males. More than a few times, when they’d determined I was fertile, they shut me out from the collective and put me in a room. A male would arrive shortly thereafter and have sex with me. Thankfully, a child never resulted, and after a while, they took me out of the rotation and put me back on the front lines. I was more use to them there.”
“Jana, I don’t know what to say. I take it the sex wasn’t exactly consensual.” Jeri kept her voice low and cautious.
Jana laughed, but it wasn’t a pleasant sound. “Are you kidding? I felt filthy when they were done with me. I welcomed the collective then, when I never had before. With them all in my mind, directing me, I didn’t have to remember…” She sobbed then, but quickly brought herself under control.
Jeri moved close to her older sister, putting her arms around her tentatively. It was amazing to think that she knew more about the good side of sex than her older sister did. It was obvious Jana was traumatized by what had been done to her and it wasn’t something she would get over easily.
“Jana, I was virgin until I met Micah, and I’ve loved every moment of being with him. That’s the way it’s supposed to be between male and female.”
Jana pulled back from her, accusation in her eyes. “Even when your so-called husband was sharing you with Darak?”
Jeri was shocked speechless for a moment. “Darak told you about that?”
“I guessed. He merely confirmed it.”
Jeri sat back. “I see. Then, you should know this. I love my husband with all my heart. It was his gift to me to give me the experiences the women here grow up taking for granted. I enjoyed it. Every moment of it. But that doesn’t mean it’s something I need. I need only Micah, and he needs only me.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Absolutely.” Jeri responded in a firm voice. “We are joined in heart and in mind. I know his desires as he knows mine.”
“You desire Darak still?”
Jeri finally understood. It was jealousy that drove her sister. Jealousy, fear and a tiny spark of curiosity? This would bear watching. Jeri couldn’t think of a better mate for her older sister than Darak. She knew intimately that under his playboy exterior lived the heart of a true hero.
“No. I never desired Darak, or any man, as I do Micah.”
“You wound me.” Darak’s playful voice came from the doorway, alerting the women to the men’s return. “And here I thought you would pine for me for the rest of your days.”
Jeri laughed up at him as he swooped down to place a smacking kiss on her lips.
“Unhand my wife, Dar, or face the consequences.”
Micah’s words were threatening, but his eyes glinted with laughter as he bounced down onto the couch next to Jeri, pulling her close to his side. Darak simply plucked Jana up in his strong arms and carried her to the adjoining chair where he sat with her in his lap. She tried to fight free for a brief moment, but he stilled her with a soft kiss to her temple and a brushing caress of his hands down her arms.
“So, are we talking about sex?” Darak’s sense of humor sparkled in his eyes. “I hope we didn’t miss anything good.”
“As far as I’m concerned, the words good and sex don’t belong in the same sentence.”
Jana’s bald words silenced all in the room momentarily, but it was Darak that eased the tension. He squeezed her tight in comfort.
“You will never have reason to fear intimacy among our people, Jana. I vow it.”
“But you will consult a mind healer first thing tomorrow. I’ll have Master Toombs flown in to see you.” Micah’s soft tone brooked no argument. “Such hurts must be attended. Sexual abuse is rare among the Council worlds, but sadly, it does happen from time to time, and we have professionals who can help you deal with it.”
Jana fought her way out of Darak’s lap to stand shakily by the window, effectively shutting out everyone else in the room. It was Darak who moved up behind her, there for her if she should fall on her wobbly legs.
“My cousin is right, Jana. You need to talk to someone about this. It’s not good for you to be so traumatized by your past.”
His voice was as soft and caring as Jeri had ever heard it, and she felt more than saw her sister’s response to him. Perhaps there was something already between the two. In truth, nothing would make Jeri happier, but she knew both of them had a long way to go before either could share their lives with another.
Darak had a great deal to prove to himself, if to no one else, so he could climb out from behind Micah’s shadow. Jana had the obvious trauma of the collective to deal with and put behind her so she could try to start anew, living here on a Council world. Jeri was troubled by thoughts of their rocky future, but the idea that they could find peace and happiness together, as she had found with Micah, gave her hope.
She saw Micah making a few notes on the nearby comm unit, summoning the gifted mind healer, Master Toombs, to their residence tomorrow, and she squeezed his hand in thanks. He smiled at her, and she leaned forward to kiss him gently. She loved him so much. All she wished for in that moment was that her sister could know such deep and true emotion.
“I’ll talk to the mind healer, but I make no promises.” Jana’s assent was grudgingly given, but Jeri breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the small words.
Jana leaned back, her legs giving out as she let Darak scoop her up into his arms once more. He seated her on his lap again as if nothing had just happened, a satisfied smile on his face that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“So, what’s planned for dinner? Just a few of us or the whole tribe?” Darak wanted to know, shifting the conversation to safer waters.
“Just immediate family, I thought.” Micah looked at his chronometer.
“So, just part of the tribe.” Darak nodded. “Good plan.” He turned his face to Jana, sitting so patiently in his lap. “Are you up to meeting a few more family members tonight? I know they want to meet you. Nothing formal, just a family get-together.”
“I have very little to wear but hospital jumpsuits and gowns.”
“Not to worry. I’ve thought of everything.” This was news to Jeri, and she aimed a curious glance over at her cousin-in-law. “I had a small selection of suitable clothing made for you while you were in the hospital and delivered to your suite here. Once we get you to your room, you should be able to find something to wear.”
“That was very kind of you.”
Jana seemed a bit overwhelmed, as well as perplexed, by his thoughtfulness. Jeri even thought she saw the beginning of a tear form in her sister’s eye, and she realized that this was probably one of the few times in Jana’s life that someone had anticipated her needs and given her an unexpected gift. Jeri vowed it wouldn’t be the last.
Darak shrugged then lifted her in his arms as he stood from the seat. “Come on, I want to show you what I picked out. There’s this little blue number that I think will look amazing on you with all those new blue sparklies in your skin.”
He gave her an exaggerated wink and made for the door while she was still laughing. It lightened Jeri’s heart to hear her sister’s laughter, and she turned to her husband and hugged him tight.
“Do you think Darak and my sister…?”
“Yes?” Micah seemed to ponder the idea for a moment. “Well, stranger things have happened, and it’s about time Dar settled down with a strong woman. Let’s just hope she’s not too strong for him.” A frown creased his brow momentarily. “I don’t want to see him hurt.”
She pushed at his shoulder. “I don’t want Jana hurt any more either, but we can’t protect them from everything, Micah. They need space to do this—or not—on their own. You can’t protect Dar from every little thing like you have since you were kids. He needs to spread his wings and fly free from our influence for a bit. He needs to know he can.”
Micah sighed. “You feel it, too? I should have known.” He kissed her softly. “How did I rate such a wise and tender helpmate? I know Dar needs to find his own way, but I can’t help wanting to protect him as I always have. I’ve always been the stronger of the pair of us. I’m older and supposedly wiser, right?”
“But he’s a Master Mage now, Micah, and plenty strong in his own right. You may always be older, but just in this past hour, I’ve wondered if he’s not wiser. The way he handled Jana is something I wouldn’t have expected.”
“Darak has a deep soul. His healing ability makes him more vulnerable to those in need, and your sister definitely qualifies. He already cares for her. We’ll just have to wait and see if it develops into anything long lasting, or if she can return the feelings. She’s been through a lot. It’s amazing, really, that she’s in as good shape as she is right now after all she’s been through.”
“The way you guided Darak? That’s the way Jana guided me as we grew up. She’s amazing, Micah. She just needs a little time to get back what the Wizards stole from her. Now that she’s with us, I think she’s got a good start on the road back. She used to be just as mischievous in her way as Darak is. It’ll be good to see the teasing light come back into her eyes.”
“Well, if anyone can do that, Darak can.”
CHAPTER THREE
The clothes were gorgeous. The most beautiful things Jana had ever seen in her life. Darak had smiled as he told her to pick something out of the huge wardrobe that waited, and her jaw had dropped in sheer amazement.
“This is too much. I’ve never even seen this much clothing in one place, much less owned it.”
“All the more reason for you to have a good selection from which to choose now.” Darak went to the wardrobe and pulled out a shimmering blue creation of the softest shiffin fiber. It flowed over his arm in draping shimmers down to the floor. It was beautiful, as well as costly, she knew. “This is the one I was thinking about for tonight. Not too revealing, not too demure. Bold, yet classy, and you’ll look amazing in it.”
She allowed him to hold the confection of rare fabric up to her shoulders and had to admit it felt like heaven. The color was almost the exact shade of blue of the crystal that now pulsed in her skin. She peered into the wardrobe and noted a lot of garments in the very same hue. He had somehow intuitively known that she wanted to minimize the appearance of the stones that she would wear now forever. Camouflaging them with blue clothing was a good first step.
She turned to him and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek that apparently took him completely by surprise.
“What was that for?”
She swallowed the tears that threatened before she could answer him.
“Thank you, Lord Darak.” She cleared her throat softly before continuing. “This is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me.”
He moved in close, his thumb wiping the small tear that escaped her eye. The tenderness in his gaze was enough to break her heart.
“You deserve finery, Jana, and all the kindness we can give you. You’ve had a hard time with the Wizards and still have a long road of recovery ahead, but you need to know you’re safe here with us. Safe, and welcome and treasured.” He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her trembling lips then pulled back as if it were the hardest thing he’d ever done. “Now, go try that on and let me bask in my largesse.” He patted her butt lightly before settling on her bed and stretching his arms up to rest behind his head as he leaned back against the richly padded headboard.
She turned on shaky legs for the huge bathroom he had shown her earlier. And it was a real bathroom, with running water and a huge sunken tub, big enough for two. Having spent much of her time aboard ship, she wasn’t used to bathing with water or having this much room in which to do it. This was a luxury she could all too easily come to require.
With a smile, she tugged off the hated hospital jumpsuit and pulled on the shimmering creation in blue. While it had never before been her favorite color, she was coming to appreciate the way this shade of almost-turquoise set off her eyes. The color made her come alive and lit her complexion as well as complementing and somewhat downplaying the sparkling gems that were now part of her very skin.
She looked damn good, and she knew it. It was an odd sensation. She had never before dressed to please a man, let alone herself. She was nervous about facing Darak and what she might see in his eyes. True, she was the older sister, but little Jeri seemed to know way more about pleasing a man than Jana ever would. Then again, she had never wanted to please a man—and wasn’t sure she did now. She didn’t want to have sex with anyone ever again, but she wanted Darak’s approval. No, she
needed
his approval. Somehow, his opinion had become all-important to her, regardless of whether she could ever consider having sex with him or any other man. It wasn’t about sex. It was about acceptance and… caring.