Talk to Me (6 page)

To Jim, I want to say, ‘Thanks for the memories and for pushing me to be better at what I do and how I live!'

UNBREAKABLE BONDS

While writing about those who have to endure the excruciatingly painful loss of the love of their life, I also wanted to show you the f lipside of loss—the reunion.

Although often one half of a couple will pass away first, the day does come when they're reunited, together forever. Occasionally, I have the unique honour of bringing an inspiring couple who have passed away through for their family, and the dynamic duo speak of their unbreakable bond, their life together as they walk hand in hand on the other side. In these cases death actually brings them back to life, because once again they have each other.

I met Jill at one of my events and also conducted a 30-minute reading for her. She missed her parents terribly, having lost both of them to cancer at a young age. I knew nothing about her parents, but I was on the verge of finding out why these two people were so special to Jill and her entire family, and why she needed me to reconnect her with them.

The relationship with our parents is one that can't be replaced or forgotten—it's one of a kind, unparalleled. When I bring someone's mum or dad through, I take it very seriously because I'm fully aware of how precious those relationships are to all hearts involved.

At the start of Jill's private reading I wrote ‘Mum' and ‘Dad' on my notepad and I drew a line from those two words to Jill's name, trying to grab their attention. Within seconds I could hear her mother—who felt very warm and chatty—begin whispering messages for Jill. So I brought Jill's mum through first, since her mum had quite a strong need to reconnect with her daughter, and her dad was politely letting his wife go first.

It was a loving and light-hearted reading, with many trips down memory lane for Jill. I love these moments where the communication is so crystal clear from the other side that the living are totally taken aback because the messages are specific to their everyday lives. The reading also made it obvious that Jill's parents are much younger now, and neither of them have cancer anymore. They still adore their children, and they will watch over their little grandchildren all the days of their lives. Jill's story reminds us all that we'll forever be in the arms of those who we love.

JILL'S STORY

My sister, brother and I were very lucky to have two wonderful parents! We had a great childhood and were very close to our mum and dad. We had a family full of honesty, trust, a lot of laughter and fun, and an abundance of love.

My mum and dad were high school sweethearts who were hard workers, yet they always made time to enjoy life. My mum had a very positive attitude and could see the good in any situation. She was very friendly and loved people. She could talk to a stranger for hours if Dad let her. My dad had a way of making the person he was with seem like the centre of his world, whether it was me doing homework with him or a client in his office. Because of his job as a journalist, many people saw a stern, powerful person and didn't have the pleasure of knowing who he really was. He had a great sense of humour, and anyone that knew him will tell you how sarcastic he could be. Unfortunately, my parents were taken from us too soon, leaving much sadness, many questions and a huge hole in our family.

Within the first five minutes of my reading, Allison commented that I was a very pragmatic person. This is absolutely true, and I also tend to be quite sceptical, so you can imagine that grasping the idea that I could talk to loved ones who had passed and that they could talk to me was difficult to do. However, I was a huge fan of the show
Medium
, and the real Allison DuBois piqued my interest. I read her books, and after each one I was more convinced that there was at least a little truth behind this.

In April 2010, I attended one of Allison's seminars in Denver, Colorado. I had read on her website that she would pick just a small number of people from the audience for a personal reading. The possibility of getting a message from my mum and dad was very thrilling, but I knew it was a long shot that I would be chosen from the large crowd. At the seminar, before Allison spoke, her assistant explained how the readings would work. People would be selected based on how ‘loud' their loved ones on the other side were, and the stronger spirits would determine who would be chosen for a reading. When Allison came on stage and asked the crowd who would like a reading, I raised my hand along with almost everyone else in that room. You can imagine the shock when I was the first person chosen. I said a quiet thankyou to my folks for being pushy.

Allison spent about fifteen minutes with me, passing on messages from my parents. This sceptical, pragmatic person left that night on an emotional high, now convinced there was some truth to the belief that my parents were still with me. At the end of the night, I signed up for a private reading.

It took Allison's books to open my mind, and her reading at the seminar to convince me. But it was the private reading, more than a year later, that actually made me listen to what my parents were saying. I consider myself extremely blessed to have had the opportunity for a second reading to process this evolution.

In both readings, Allison started off by saying that my mum came through right away and talks A LOT. That's my mum, the talker! Before the first reading, Allison knew nothing about me, my parents or the way they passed, but apparently Mum was filling her in. My mum was talking about the female with cancer, and Allison asked if either my mum or my mum's mum had passed from cancer. I lost my mum to brain cancer when she was only 54.

Later, when speaking with my dad, Allison said he wasn't revealing how he died; he wasn't telling her anything. However, she could see that he was holding his chest like he was in pain, or was having a hard time breathing, and that he might have had a hand in his death. My dad passed away from lung cancer at the age of 55. He smoked, and he felt a lot of guilt and remorse for smoking even though he knew the risks.

Cancer is a very cruel monster that disrupted our lives and caused us a lot of pain. It doesn't surprise me that my parents found it important to connect to me by discussing, or not discussing, their cancer. Allison assured me that they didn't have it anymore and they were healthy. I needed to hear this.

Allison said my parents were both presenting themselves at a younger age. She said my mum was beautiful with very long hair. She was, indeed, beautiful and had very long hair. She was presenting herself at the age of 23, and said that was a very good year for her, filled with joy. I was born when she was 23. Furthermore, my dad was presenting himself at the age of 25 because it was such a happy time. Again, that was his age when I was born.

One of the first things Mum kept talking about was ‘the boy and the girl', and Allison explained that usually meant she had a boy and a girl, or there would be a grandson and a granddaughter. At the time my sister was pregnant with twins—a boy and a girl. Allison said my mum was acknowledging her future grandchildren and wanted my sister to know that she would be there with them and protect them. She also said Mum was referencing May, and there was a strong family tie to the month, either a birth or a passing. The babies weren't due in May, but my sister's doctor had told her that, because twins usually come early, they could be born in that month. Also, my mum passed away in May.

Allison told me my mum was talking about the necklaces and a ring. I don't wear much jewellery, but the jewellery I do wear has a special story or meaning behind it. My parents gave me a ring for my college graduation. I wear it all the time, and I think of them whenever I look at it. I also have two necklaces that I take turns wearing. I remember one morning I put on my diamond necklace. Later that day, my parents called me with the news that my dad had cancer. I made a decision to keep wearing that necklace until my dad got better. Several months later, the necklace broke—it was the day my dad's doctor told us there was nothing else he could do for my father. That necklace had been a symbol of hope for me, so the irony of it breaking on the day the doctors were giving up was remarkable. I believe my mum was telling me she knew my jewellery has an emotional connection to them.

When Allison was speaking with my dad, he kept saying his name ‘times two'. She asked who else in the family had my dad's name. My brother's middle name is Timothy, after my dad. She said that was Dad's way of acknowledging my brother.

She also said there was a strong tie with my dad's shoes, and asked if my brother had a pair of his old shoes. At first, I took it literally, and was puzzled as I didn't know if my brother actually had a pair of my dad's shoes and how that could be significant. But then I realised it could be interpreted figuratively, too—and that couldn't be more spot-on. My brother idolised my dad so much and, having chosen the same career path, he has stood in our dad's shoes. My brother works for the same newspaper our father worked for, and is constantly saying that he is proud to follow in Dad's footsteps and hopes he makes him proud, too.

Allison told me Dad was saying my brother wouldn't ‘get' this process. When I'd spoken to my brother about my first reading with Allison, he didn't believe it. The fact that Dad pointed out my brother's scepticism let me know he was there for our conversations.

My dad had been gone for six years and my mum four years when Allison first read for me. At the time, my family thought we had resolved any remaining issues regarding their estate, but Allison told me Dad was saying there was still money tied up in the estate that hadn't been dispersed. Three days after that reading, I got a letter regarding an unclaimed account of theirs. We are currently in the process of recovering that money.

Allison described my dad very well. She said that he came off as being very tough, but would bend over backwards for us. She also chuckled and said he was very sarcastic. The way she explained him further reassured me that she was, indeed, seeing my dad.

Holidays were always special in our house and we had many traditions. Every Easter, for example, we would decorate eggs together. The night before Easter, after we kids went to sleep, my dad would go outside and hide the brightly coloured eggs. We lived in the mountains of Colorado, but no matter how cold and snowy it was, he would go out in the dark and climb around hiding those eggs for us to find the next morning. It made me smile when Allison said my dad loved Easter and all of the activities involved with the holiday.

My parents also always made a huge deal out of birthdays. For that one day, the world revolved around you and anything you wanted. My dad only ever wanted one thing on his birthday: German chocolate cake. So it didn't surprise me when Allison said that Dad was telling her how much he loved sweets and cake, especially on his birthday. But not just any cake, he said, it had to be a special cake. I knew exactly what she was talking about.

We always had dogs and cats while I was growing up, so it made sense that Allison said my parents were surrounded by pets. When Allison directly told me that she saw my dad with a dog with light, curly hair named Buffy, my jaw dropped. Allison had described our family's dog exactly, even his name! I still get shivers when I think about this.

I was very close to my parents, and when I moved out of home I still talked to them on the phone often, especially my mum. Even now I sometimes find myself thinking, ‘Oh, I need to call Mum and talk to her about . . .' and then quickly remember that I can't. Allison told me that Mum also missed talking to me on the phone and she would be messing with my phone to let me know she was around. About four or five times a week, our phone rings with a weird sequence of rings. There is no rhyme or reason behind this, and it is completely random. It doesn't happen when certain people call or at a certain time of day. I hung up the phone after my second reading with Allison and later that afternoon the phone made its now familiar, obnoxious ring sequence. Rather than being annoyed by it as I previously was, I smiled and thought of chatting on the phone with my mum.

After I graduated from high school, my parents moved from Colorado to the sunny weather of California. The selling point of their new house was the rosebushes in the backyard. The garden was filled with flowers, and my parents spent many hours taking care of their roses. I almost got tired of hearing about those roses whenever I would call. Apparently my mum is still talking about her roses. She told Allison she loved her rose garden and wanted me to plant some roses for her so we could have somewhere for our ‘private' talks. I have now started a rose garden, not only to honour my mum but to communicate with her.

At first I thought the similarities between the two readings were uncanny, but then I realised that Allison visited with the same two people and saw the same things. It's just like if I were to visit a couple down the street; if I went back a few weeks later, I'd see the same thing.

Both readings brought up some identical messages: my parents saw me as seven years old; Mum said I was a very stubborn person and I needed to let my guard down; she mentioned that Mother's Day was important to her and she loved it when we honoured her with flowers. Mum also said I wasn't going to die the way she did or suffer like she had. My mum knew what a heavy burden her illness and death had been, and she said she was sorry.

In each reading, Allison told me that my parents like to be in the car with me. This didn't surprise me, as we had a family joke about the number of hours we spent in the car ‘just driving' while out for an adventure of some kind. As similar as I was to my parents, a major difference between us was our political views. I listen to a lot of talk-back radio, and my husband always jokes that my parents would be very disappointed in me. So I had to chuckle when Allison told me that although they liked being in the car with me, they didn't like what I was listening to on the radio. In the second reading, Allison asked me why they were talking about being in the new car. I explained that just two days earlier, I had bought a new car.