“We all liked him.”
Sims scratched his week-old stubble. “By the way, how’d that rider get past those Apache down at the bridge?”
Teagen shrugged. “He was riding a McMurray horse. I guess they figured he was one of us.”
The old man nodded as Teagen opened the door to the small bunkhouse. The place was rarely used because the McMurrays never hired men they didn’t know well. Most were Rangers Travis had served with.
“There’s a stove and coffee for the making.”
Sims seemed far more interested in the bunks lining each wall.
“You’re welcome to eat breakfast in the main house tomorrow, but if I know Martha, she’ll have it on your porch as soon as she sees you’re up and around. Once things settle down, Martha will have your supper waiting in here.” Teagen knew, like most men who live ranging, they’d prefer to be alone. Here they could have an evening whiskey and a smoke without womenfolk to complain. “After breakfast she’ll have a sack with enough food to last you until supper.”
“Sounds mighty nice.” Sims smiled. “It ain’t often we get three meals a day. Better watch it, McMurray, or we’ll find reasons to stay.”
“The work’s hard. You’ll be in the saddle from dawn to after dark. But the food is good.” He thought of the meal he’d had at the café with Jessie. “Better than you’ll ever get in town.”
“So I’ve heard.” Sims smiled wide enough to show a few gaps where teeth had been.
Teagen had talked all he could manage. If Sims planned to chat, he’d have to do it with Hatch. He said good night and walked back into the house.
The kitchen was empty for a change. Teagen knew Martha would have turned in the minute Emily was safe in her bed. With everyone asleep, he decided to take a bath. He thought of drawing water and heating it, but it seemed like too much effort. He grabbed a towel and soap and headed out.
Stepping onto the porch, he heard Sage return. Before she reached the barn, he caught up to her. “You get rid of the kid?”
“Yes.” She slid down and walked beside her brother. “But I fear he’ll be back in the morning.”
“You should be nicer to him,” Teagen said in his usual ordering way. “He helped us out tonight.”
“What?”
Before Teagen could answer, his little sister did what she’d done since she was old enough to walk. She tripped him.
He stumbled three steps but didn’t hit the ground. Swearing, he picked up his hat and faced her. “I should have whipped you when I had the chance, Sage. You’re going to break one of our legs someday doing that.”
She laughed. “That’s what you get for acting like I’m the only one mean to Roak. I try harder than the three of you do to talk to him. So don’t go telling me to be nice to him.”
Teagen looked at her. She was small, only slightly bigger than Jessie, but there was a world of difference between them. Sage was tough. He guessed she had to be to grow up around three big brothers. At almost twenty, she knew her own mind. She loved horses and the ranch, but she also loved doctoring people. She’d delivered half the babies born around here last year and helped the doctor who dropped by twice a year. He’d bet his boots the bags she brought back from Austin were full of books on how to heal both animals and humans.
“All right,” he admitted. “I’ll try to at least speak to the boy, but I got the feeling he’s like a stray cat. He’ll want to hang around the house and eat, but he’s bone-wild and will turn on us one day.”
“I don’t know. Strange, how he brought Emily back. Seeing how he hates you, he could have just taken her to Elmo’s place and left her. Someone would have seen her back here.”
“He may hate me, but he loves you.”
She shook her head. “A kid like that doesn’t know what love is. He wasn’t raised around caring folks. He’s never had anyone who noticed if he lived or died. He may think he likes me, but if it came right down to it, I doubt he’d risk his life for me or anyone else.”
She turned toward the barn.
Teagen tugged the reins. “I’ll take care of the horse. You get some sleep.”
“I don’t mind.”
“No, I need to ride down to the creek for a swim anyway.”
Sage grinned. “Too many women in the house for you to bathe in the mud room.”
“Something like that.”
He rode toward the creek. The passing clouds revealed little moonlight, but it didn’t matter. All his plans for the evening were gone. No ride to the east pasture. No talk with Jessie. In a moment he was back to being alone.
Telling himself that was exactly how he wanted it, Teagen stripped and dove into the water. Jessie and her daughters would be gone soon. It made sense to cut any ties with them now. Starting tomorrow, Sage could look after their company, and he’d go back to work.
He didn’t need or want to be close to anyone. She’d just been interesting company, nothing more.
The warm summer air dried his body as he stepped out of the water. They’d had no rain since the day of the stage holdup over two weeks ago. The grass felt stiff beneath his feet as he dried off. If it didn’t rain soon, he’d have to start worrying, but tonight all were home and safe. Tonight he could relax.
CHAPTER 15
JESSIE WATCHED HER DAUGHTERS SLEEPING. EMILY SO fair, Rose with her midnight braids, and little Bethie with auburn curls. They were as mixed a batch as a calico cat’s kittens, but Jessie thought each one beautiful. She said a silent prayer for their safety. Here was her life. No matter what she had to do, she’d protect them.
She heard Sage climb the stairs.
“Good night, Jessie,” Sage whispered as she paused in passing.
“Good night.” Jessie liked having someone to say it to. “Sleep well, and thanks again for all your help.”
Sage’s smile was earnest, but exhaustion reflected in her eyes a moment before she turned and moved on to her room. She closed her door softly. The three bedrooms upstairs were exactly the same. Three rooms for the three boys who’d grown up here. Now, the little girls slept in the middle, safe and sound, with Jessie on one side and Sage on the other.
Jessie had never felt so safe in her life. Leaving here would be the hardest thing she ever had to do, but somehow she’d manage. Maybe Teagen would help her get to Austin, and she could find work there once her child was born and Teagen realized no relatives were coming. Sage had mentioned the capital was large enough to have three bookstores already, and it seemed to grow daily.
The house was quiet as she moved to her bed, but her nerves still vibrated with the echoes of fear. She tried to sleep but couldn’t make her eyes stay closed. Too many thoughts of what might have happened flashed in her mind like strikes of lightning. Blinking away tears, Jessie swore she would not cry, not now, not when Emily was safe.
Finally, frustrated, she tiptoed down the stairs looking for something to read. Books had been a comfort all her life. It really didn’t matter which one she picked up; reading would calm her.
She was well into the study when she realized Teagen sat in his big leather chair by a cold fireplace. He hadn’t lit a lamp, but moonlight streamed through the window, offering a low glow to the room.
She stood stone-still, watching him. His eyes were closed. His hair shiny as if wet. The powerful man looked younger in sleep. Here was the man she’d called friend for half her life. He’d always been with her, even though he wasn’t aware she lived.
She moved as silently as possible, not wanting to wake him. He’d shared her fears and panic today, and tomorrow she’d thank him. Right now, she wanted to let him sleep while he could. Teagen pushed himself too hard. Jessie guessed he always had.
She pulled a book from the shelf without even looking at the title.
Halfway back across the room, she glanced over her shoulder and saw him watching her.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t.”
She took a step closer, thankful for the night. She hadn’t slipped on a robe before heading downstairs and thought she must look like a ghost haunting the study. “Thank you for all your help,” she said. “I don’t know what I would have done . . .” Her voice broke at the thought of what might have been.
He watched her a moment, then asked, “Aren’t we going to have my lesson in conversation tonight, Jessie?”
She had a feeling he was smiling, even though his face was in shadow.
“It’s very late.”
“True,” he answered. “But you’re not asleep. And from that book you just picked up, I’d say you plan to be awake for a little longer.”
She moved closer. “I couldn’t . . .” Her voice broke again as the fear she’d felt all afternoon flooded her mind. “I almost lost my Em.” The tears she’d blocked all afternoon long piled behind her eyes. “If I’d stayed in Chicago? If I’d let her grandmother raise her? If I’d been strong enough to fight them? I wouldn’t have put her in danger. She—”
“Stop, Jessie.” Teagen’s order reached her ears, but her emotions were too raw for her to hear.
“It’s foolish to cry now,” she said as she shoved tears off her cheek with her palm. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I seem to cry at every opportunity.”
Her body shook as if a war raged inside.
“Jessie.” Teagen leaned forward and took her hand. “Jessie,” he said as he pulled her near. “It’s all right now. Em is safe upstairs, asleep with her sisters.”
His tone was still more order than comfort, but he was trying. She laughed at his effort. “I’m crying and laughing at the same time.”
“I know.” He sounded as confused as she felt. “Come here.”
She crumpled into his embrace. Like a child needing strong arms to hold her, Jessie melted atop him and let the tears come.
For a while he just held her. Peace settled over her even while tears fell. When she stopped crying, she felt no desire to leave the comfort she’d found. Part of her had turned to Teagen a dozen times in her dreams. There, he’d always held her and told her all would be fine, just as he did now.
Jessie closed her eyes and savored the tender time.
She wasn’t aware of how long she’d been in his arms. Maybe a few minutes, maybe an hour. Awaking from a dreamless sleep, she felt Teagen’s slow breath brush her throat and realized he’d also fallen asleep.
If she was heavy on his legs, he showed no sign. One arm rested over her hip, another braced her back. She cupped his chin with her hand and whispered, “Teagen, Teagen?”
He shifted. His arm tightened around her waist.
“No,” he said more asleep than awake. “Don’t leave yet.”
She smiled. He didn’t sound nearly so stern. She rested her head on his shoulder and promised, “I won’t.” They were both too tired to care that what they were doing wouldn’t be considered at all proper. “Tonight, there is nowhere I’d rather be.”
His arm tugged her against him. “Good,” he whispered into her hair. “Then let me hold you for a while.”
CHAPTER 16
TEAGEN WOKE AT FIRST LIGHT. HE SHIFTED, STRAIGHTENING his leg that seemed to have fallen asleep during the night. Without opening his eyes, he knew why. Jessie’s bottom rested on it. She’d spent the night in his arms.
Slowly he opened his eyes, hoping his slight movement wouldn’t wake her. He studied the bundle of cotton and lace cuddled against him. She looked so young with her hair down around her shoulders and her cheeks streaked with the tears she’d cried last night. Even now, with her sleeping against him, he couldn’t believe she’d come to him so easily. He’d lifted his arms, offering her a hug, and she’d climbed into his lap without hesitation.
There were grown men who crossed the street to avoid him, and Jessie cuddled right against his heart.
He frowned. He had no idea grown women did such a thing. Maybe none of them did except Jessie. She seemed far too unique to serve as his reference about how all women act.
The thought worried him that he didn’t know if she needed him or just needed someone, and he happened to be near. If it was just someone the little widow needed, he could be that for her, but Teagen found himself wishing that it were the other.
He gently stroked her arm, wondering what it would be like to have this tender soul want him. No woman had ever wanted him. A few had acted like they did for the price of a tumble, but he knew they lied. He could see it in their eyes. When he’d been in his early twenties and it was safe to leave the ranch, he’d let himself believe what they said, but deep down he’d known the truth.
He’d finally turned away, not needing their kind of affection. He had more important things to do, like raising his siblings and holding the ranch.
By the time he’d thought of looking at any of the girls from around these parts, he’d hardened so much they considered him old and frightening. At twenty-five he’d been too old for the girls just growing into womanhood and too young to settle. So he’d done the only thing he knew. He’d worked.
Looking at Jessie, he realized now what he had missed. A wife. Children. A woman to fall asleep with. Something so simple seemed a strange thing to long for. He’d read all the great biographies where men wanted wealth and power. For him, could it be too little to dream of or too much to want, someone to sleep beside?
Teagen shook his head. He wasn’t making sense. He’d been working too hard lately.
The memory of Jessie telling him that Eli had gone to the pub every night drifted into his thoughts. How could the man have preferred a room full of drunks to what now lay in Teagen’s arms?
Eli had written grand letters, but the man must have been a fool to leave her alone.
Teagen brushed the cotton of her gown. He didn’t even know how to touch her. She was small, almost fragile. Not the kind of woman he’d need.
He wrapped a strand of her hair around his finger, wishing she’d wear it down during the day. Swearing beneath his breath, he called himself an ass for letting his mind wander where he had no business going. She wasn’t his. She’d never be. Even if she wasn’t planning to go to California, she wouldn’t stay out here. This land was raw and hard even on women born to it.