Authors: Deborah Hughes
Alyssa’s eyes watered. “I’m sorry. I really am. Nothing has happened. I….I just need to get away and try something new. Please, please try to understand. This has nothing to do with you.” She started backing toward the door. “I have to go. I’ll call often. I promise.” She fled their betrayed faces with a heart wracked by guilt and anguish of her own.
Just what had she done?
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Four months later, Alyssa pulled into her parents' driveway then sat looking at their home for a long, quiet moment, soaking it in, enjoying the feel of being there. Summer was well on its way into fall and the surrounding gardens were in full bloom. Had it really been only four months since she’d last driven away from here? It seemed as if she had been away forever. She didn't think she’d miss the quiet New Hampshire town as much as she did, but the fact is, she missed it almost too much. Not as much as she missed her family and Trisha though. That was the worst to deal with. And she hated being so far away from Paul. He was the only one who really understood what was going on with her and they talked often. Thinking about him made her smile, something she didn't do much of anymore. He was ordained the previous weekend in a ceremony she had attended and he was now taking over the church from his uncle who had decided to retire. Though still in remission, the cancer had taken a lot out of him and he was ready to hand the reigns over to his young nephew. When Paul asked her to come to his first sermon as a full-fledged priest in residence, she promised she’d be there. Besides, she needed to visit her family and see Trisha who was nearing the end of her pregnancy.
The front door opened and her parents came rushing out. “Alyssa! Oh, sweetheart it is so good to see you.” Her mother pulled her from the car and into a tight hug. “You’ve lost weight.” She drew away and studied her critically. “How was the drive? Come on in, I made your favorite for lunch, Monte C
h
risto sandwiches.” They walked arm and arm to the house and Alyssa blew a kiss to her father who was grinning broadly and pulling her suitcase from the car.
Seeing her mother's critical scan, Alyssa gave her a squeeze. “I’ve only lost a few pounds. Thank you so much for making me my favorite sandwich. Your recipe is the best.”
Once lunch was over and she'd answered all her parents' questions, Alyssa knew she couldn't put off seeing Trisha for even one more second. She was eager to see her friend but apprehensive as well. There would be no avoiding Trisha's probing questions. Alyssa just hoped she could answer most of them to her satisfaction without having to tell her more than she wanted to tell her.
Trisha opened the door at the first knock and squealed with delight. “Al! Oh Al! I am so glad you’re here.” She threw her arms around her and held her tightly. “I’ve missed you terribly.”
“Hey, make room for me.” Jack pried his wife’s arms from Alyssa's neck so he could give her his own warm welcome. “It’s great to see you again, Al.”
“It’s good to see you both as well.” She turned to look pointedly at Trisha’s swollen belly. “Hmmm. You’ve gained weight.”
Trisha rubbed her rounded belly and laughed. “Lots of it. Isn't it wonderful?” She grabbed Al’s hand and pulled her into the living room. “We have a lot of catching up to do.” She turned to Jack. “Be a sweety and make us some tea would you?”
Jack bowed. “Your wish is my command.” He winked at Alyssa and headed for the kitchen.
Once they were alone, Trisha squeezed Alyssa’s hand. “Talk to me, Al. I want to know why you left. You may be able to avoid me over the phone but I warn you, you are not leaving this house until I know the truth.”
Alyssa removed her sweater and tossed it over the back of a chair then turned to Trisha and shrugged lightly. “I told you the truth. I wasn’t going anywhere at Schullers. Julia needed my help so I took her up on her offer of a job. It pays way better than Schullers and it's more satisfying.”
Trisha shook her head. “I’m not buying it, Al. We’ve known each other for years. You can’t fool me. Now start talking.”
Alyssa sighed. She knew this visit was going to be a challenge. Dropping heavily unto the sofa, she patted the seat beside her. “Okay, you win.”
Trisha sat down and looked at her with an expectant, determined-to-get-answers expression stamped on her face.
Time had healed the hurt enough that Alyssa was pretty sure she could speak the truth, part of it anyway, without falling apart. “Your brother and I discovered that a truce just wasn’t going to hold.” And still a sharp pain stabbed at her heart. Would there ever come a day when she could speak of Cole without feeling this horrible hurt?
Trisha frowned. “I don’t understand. You both seemed to be getting along just fine at the wedding.”
“Yeah, well appearances can be deceiving. Look, I don’t want to discuss it. Tell me what's been going on that you hadn’t gotten around to telling me about on the phone.”
Several hours later, after Alyssa's visit was over, Trisha sat gnawing at her thumbnail. Something was amiss. Alyssa's evasive answers about what went on while she and Jack were on their honeymoon told her she was missing some key information. Determined to get to the bottom of it, she reached for the phone and called Cole.
“I’m right in the middle of something, sis. Can it wait?”
“No, it can’t. You must come over right away.”
A half hour later he strode impatiently into her house, glancing at his watch as he did so. “This had better be good. I have a lot of work to do.”
Trisha greeted his impatience with calm deportment. “And hi to you too.” She watched him closely as she informed him of Alyssa's visit. “Cole, Alyssa is back.”
He went utterly still for a moment then shrugged off her news as if it didn't matter. When clearly it did. “So?”
“So, whatever happened between you two needs to be ironed out. I want you to talk to her.”
“No.”
“Cole! Be reasonable.”
“No.” He ran an agitated hand through his hair and resisted the urge to pace. “Why is she here anyway?”
“She came because of Paul.” Trisha sank dispiritedly on the sofa.
“Oh yes, of course she did.” He turned away and closed his eyes, wishing to quell the pain that still swelled his heart.
Surprised with Cole's animosity, Trisha frowned. How was she going to get her brother and her best friend to patch things up if he was so angry? As to that, what was he angry about? "Nothing would keep her away." Surely Alyssa's devotion to her friends meant something to him? "They've a lot to celebrate."
Cole felt something die inside. Had he really thought there was any hope of Alyssa returning home and working things out with him? Had he really believed they could patch up that last horrible fight? He'd been encouraged by the fact that when she fled town she'd also left Paul behind. Apparently he was wrong on that count. She hadn't left him at all. He now knew all he needed to know. “Are they getting married?”
For a moment Trisha thought she didn’t hear him right. “Is who getting married?”
He sliced an impatient hand through the air. “Al and Paul, Trisha. Who the hell else would I be asking about?”
Then it hit her. Trisha slapped a hand to her mouth and stared at her brother with wide, horrified eyes, aghast at what she’d forgotten to tell him. “Cole, Paul is married to God. Or…I think that’s what he’s done. He was ordained last weekend. Tomorrow is his first official sermon as a priest.”
Cole staggered back then grabbed a chair for support. Had he heard her right? “What?”
"It's true. He's a priest." When her brother's face went white, Trisha grew alarmed and ran to grab his arms.. “Cole? What is it? You are as white as a ghost.”
Paul was a priest? He fell into the chair and dropped his head into his hands. Good Lord, he’d punched a priest. No wonder Alyssa was so horrified. He let out a groan of remorse and shook his head, unable to believe what he was hearing and yet knowing it was true. Trisha would not lie about this. Though why she'd thought to withhold that valuable bit of information he couldn't even fathom.
Her face wreathed in worry, Trisha knelt down in front of him. “Cole, what is it?”
He looked at her and couldn't even drum up the energy it took to hide the agony he felt in his soul. He was pretty sure it was stamped all over his face. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me this before?”
Trisha's eyes swelled with tears. “I…I forgot.”
He jumped up. His life was a mess because she forgot? She
forgot
? “My God, Trisha, do you know what your forgetfulness has cost me?” He paced around her as restless energy surged through him. He wanted to howl, roar, pound at something in fury. Christ, he felt like a caged beast. His soul was probably condemned to hell. He’d hit a priest. He’d treated Alyssa horribly. Unforgivably. Could things get any worse?
Trisha watched her brother with worried, tear-filled eyes and was grateful when Jack came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Grasping hold of his hands, she held them tightly, grateful for his support, and looked at Cole. “What is this all about, Cole?”
He stopped in front of them and the look on his face made Trisha think he was about to confess a grave sin. “Cole?"
"I hit a priest, Trisha. A priest! My God.”
Trisha shook her head in confusion. “What are you talking about, Cole?”
“I thought they were lovers for crying out loud.” He practically shouted the words at her though he was trying hard to control his emotions. He couldn't forget she was about to have a baby. But damn it all, how could she have forgotten to tell him that Paul was a priest?
Trisha shrugged in despair. “I…I don’t know what to say.”
“You should have told me. You knew damned well I was jealous.” He let out a groan that was more of a growl and grabbed at his head. “Oh my God, what have I done?”
Trisha was beginning to realize the extent of damage her forgetfulness had cost. “What happened while Jack and I were on our honeymoon, Cole?”
He sank into a chair and closed his eyes. “I thought Alyssa was playing me for a fool. I saw them together and lost it." He opened his eyes and looked at her with remorse and self-disgust. "I hit him, Trisha. I hit Paul.”
That would explain Alyssa’s irrational and hasty move to New York. It explained why her brother was driving himself into the ground with work and isolating himself from everyone. It explained a lot of things. Her quiet tears turned into sobs. This was all her fault. “Oh, Cole. I didn’t know. Neither one of you would talk to me.” She grabbed his hands and gave them a loving, encouraging squeeze. “You must go talk to her, Cole. You must tell Alyssa what you thought.”
Cole set her gently from him and stood up. “It’s too late for that, Trisha. What I did to her and Paul was unforgivable.” He turned and left the house, ignoring Trisha’s pleas to come back.
Not to be deterred, Trisha grabbed the phone and called Alyssa. “Al, you need to come back. Now.”
“Why? What's happened?"
“Oh, Al, I’ve done a horrible thing. You must come back over here. Please.”
Something in Trisha’s voice galvanized her into action. “I’ll be right over.”
Trisha was standing in the doorway waiting for her when she arrived. Alyssa rushed to her and was at once pulled frantically into the house where she found Jack pacing back and forth. The moment he spotted her next to his distraught wife, he stopped and heaved a sigh of relief. The worry in his gaze, however, did not diminish.
Trisha squeezed Alyssa's hand to get her attention. “Al, I think I can explain about Cole. I can explain why he acted as he did before you left.”
Alyssa looked at Trisha and somehow managed a small smile. So that's what this was all about? If only it could be fixed with a few words of explanation. “There is no reason good enough to excuse his behavior.”
Trisha’s head bobbed in disagreement. “But there is, Al. I never told Cole about Paul being a priest.”
Alyssa’s heart skipped. For a moment she thought it may have even stopped. But then it began pounding. “Just the same, he had no right to be so horrible.”
Trisha gave Alyssa's arms a little shake for emphasis. “He thought you and Paul were lovers, Al. He was out of his mind with jealousy.”
Alyssa nodded slowly, denying that it mattered. She had to because she just couldn’t get her hopes up again. She wouldn’t survive another rejection. “I don’t believe that.”
“But it’s true, Al. I just now told him about Paul and he’s sick about it.”
Alyssa’s legs went weak. She sank into a chair and stared at Trisha’s tearful face. “But I asked you to tell him about Paul. Why didn’t you tell him? You said you would and I trusted you to do it.”
Trisha closed her eyes, unable to meet the pain she saw in her friend's gaze. “I knew Cole was jealous and I thought it would make him realize that he loved you.” She gave a shaky sigh and opened her eyes. “I was going to tell him about Paul but when we got back from the honeymoon you were sick and Cole had disappeared. He goes to our grandfather's hunting cabin up in the mountains when he wants to be alone. Don't you remember? I know I've mentioned it once or twice." When Alyssa just stared at her, she waved off the question. "By the time he came back, you had left. I was so upset that you were gone that I just forgot to tell him.” She looked at Alyssa and packed all her regret and apology in that gaze. “Can you ever forgive me, Al?”
With her mind thinking in warp speed and her body buzzing with energy, Alyssa stood and grasped hold of her friend’s arms. “Are you sure Cole was jealous? What about that girl I saw him with?”
Trisha frowned in confusion. “What girl?”
“I don’t know who she is, a pretty girl with short black hair and gray eyes.”
“You mean Cassie Klein?” Trisha’s expression cleared. “She’s a syndicated blogger. She did a blog post on Cole’s designs. It’s been great for his business.”
“But…they weren’t dating?” He’d sure tried to make her think as much.
Trisha shook her head. “No. When he met her she was already dating someone. I don’t think she’s with him anymore but I do know she is most definitely not dating my brother.”