In her way it was a salute to Kade. She wanted him to remember her this way, even though he saw her as a child, and always would. She put a dab of expensive perfume on her wrist and took one last look in the mirror before going down to join the men, as soon as she heard the one sharp ring of the doorbell that always announced their arrival. Her head was held high as she left the room. She knew that she had achieved her target in making herself look as attractive as possible, and was well satisfied with her appearance.
There was a low 'Wow!' from Lloyd as she entered the dining room, and she waited to hear Kade's comments, glancing swiftly round the room only to find that he was not present.
Her welcoming smile faded as the realisation dawned on her that Kade had chosen to give her a final snub. He wasn't going to be late. He just wasn't coming!
Tanya knew this with painful clarity, even before Lloyd handed her an envelope. 'Kade sent you this,' he said lightly, not realising her inward turmoil as she tried to grasp the fact that Kade could do such a thing to her. 'He sends his apologies,' he went on cheerfully, 'but I guess he's got a heavy date. No doubt he'll be there to see us off tomorrow,' he commented, in a hearty voice that made Tanya want to scream out at him that she wouldn't bet on it. Kade had pushed her out of his life, and in his eyes she had already gone.
THE following day was a complete blur to Tanya. She knew she had said goodbye to a stern-faced Kade and a weeping Connie standing beside him. She had also politely thanked him for all he had done for her family, and this only served to make Connie's tears flow faster, so she made it quick and to the point.
The next minute they were on their way with Tanya staring straight ahead, not trusting herself to look back and give a last wave.
Lloyd wisely made no comment, but he must have felt like the villain of the piece. Kade's attitude and Connie's tears would have presented such a picture.
Only later, when they were on the plane, did he make a comment on their leavetaking, and then only about Connie. 'She sure took it hard,' he said quietly, and then looked at Tanya who had gone into the numbed state of sheer misery. 'She'll be looking you up in a few months' time. I guess I'll never understand women,' he ended dolefully.
Tanya made a great effort to pull herself out of the doldrums, and told Lloyd that Connie had been with the family for years. 'My going back was like having Mother back again,' she explained gently. 'Connie loved her too, Lloyd.'
At this there was a shadow in his eyes and he nodded slowly, showing her that he understood now, and the
rest of the journey was passed in idle comments made at various stages of the trip.
Lloyd's home was all that Tanya had thought it would be, a long low ranch-type building set in acres of surrounding paddocks, with landscaped gardens immediately bordering the home precincts.
If happiness could be bought by luxurious surroundings, then Tanya would have been very happy. She was introduced to the house staff, that consisted of a middle-aged housekeeper who viewed Tanya's youth with a look of consternation in her eyes, but was determined to be polite at all costs, and an elderly man who was introduced as Lloyd's secretary. Then at Lloyd's suggestion, she was taken to her room to freshen up.
The housekeeper who escorted her was pleasant enough but reserved, and it was plain that she had misinterpreted Tanya's presence in the house, and felt that her employer ought to have known better than to encourage the attentions of a girl young enough to be his daughter.
The room turned out to be a suite, where Tanya had her own bathroom, shower, and sitting room, that could if needs be provide her with a certain amount of privacy. As her travel-weary eyes swept round her domain, she thought of her bedroom at home and it was not a very sensible thing to do, particularly when she recalled that Kade had bought the house from her, and that it was highly unlikely that the long room with its patterned prints of horse motifs, that she had loved and flatly refused to have removed to make way for a modern pattern of wallpaper when the annual decorating was due, would remain as she had known it.
One could not say that the bedroom that she now
stood in bore any resemblance to the room that she was thinking of. Although beautifully furnished, it was somehow impersonal, as all guest rooms were, and brought home the fact that as luxurious as her surroundings were, she did not belong there. She was there for a kind of rehabilitation, she told herself. She had to get Kade out of her system, and she ought to be grateful that there was no time limit on her stay, and that Lloyd actually wanted her there and hoped that she would make the stay permanent.
The days slipped into weeks, and Tanya was swept into a round of social calls that resulted in parties, Lloyd starting them off with a grand affair held especially as a 'how-do party' as Lloyd had put it, to introduce her to his neighbours.
Now that Tanya's position in Lloyd's household was clarified Mrs Jukes, the housekeeper, had lost all of her previous reserve and showed definite signs of wanting to take over Connie's role of half-servant and half-guardian to Tanya.
With so many people willing her to be happy, Tanya felt a traitor in not being able to wholly comply with these sentiments. It was not that she didn't try—she did. She threw herself into the numerous entertainments offered, and rarely an evening went by but either company was expected, or she and Lloyd were due to put in an appearance elsewhere.
This way of life was not new to her, it had been the same when her mother was alive. There had been times in the past when the hectic round of parties, the continual need to be 'having a good time' and a constant wish to 'circulate' and have as many similar minded people around you as possible had mystified Tanya,
who would, had she been given the choice, have settled for a quieter existence.
She was no longer mystified. With a painful clarity born out of experience, she now knew why her mother had acted as she had. She must, she had thought sadly, have loved Lloyd for a long time, and being the kind of man he was, he had determinedly set his sights on his goal, refusing to be put off by her frantic attempts to remove him from the scene. But that hadn't worked and the only course left to her was to gather many friends around her. There was safety in numbers.
These thoughts were going through Tanya's mind as she dressed for yet another evening out. When she was ready, she studied her reflection in the long mirror. Her burnt orange velvet dress clung sleekly to her slim figure. There was no trace of girlishness now about her, and it wasn't only the new hair style that she had adopted, cut very short and shaped close to her head like a golden cap. It was more than that, she thought, as she stared at the image before her. It was as if she had left her youth and dreams back in Tasmania, and she didn't really know this cool elegant-looking woman now staring back at her.
With an impatient shrug, she moved away from the mirror. It must have been Connie's letter that had brought on this mood of miserable retrospection. It was always the same after she had received one of her chatty letters.
It was eight weeks since Tanya had left Orchard Farm, and during that time she had received four letters from Connie. Invariably Kade had been mentioned, and considering that he was now living at the house this was not surprising. She had said that Kade
was quiet—quiet for him, that was, and always seemed to be busy these days, too busy to have the chats they used to have, and she didn't hear much about the business these days.
In her latest letter she had mentioned that Kade was having a wing added to the back of the house, and that she couldn't see why such an extension had been necessary. It was true that Orchard House was not a big house, but surely big enough for his wants?
As she read this Tanya's heart had given a painful leap. What Connie had said about the size of the house was true. Its three bedrooms had been ample for the Humes' small family, but too small for a larger one.
Connie might be mystified about the reasons behind this move of Kade's, but Tanya wasn't. There could only be one reason why Kade should want a larger establishment, and that was marriage. Someone, it appeared, had broken through that protective guard of his and lowered all defences. She must be quite a woman, Tanya thought sadly, only grateful that she was off the scene and would not have to suffer the torment of watching the man she loved pledging his vows to another woman.
In view of this latest development, Connie had had to cancel her visit to Oregon. She couldn't very well be absent when the builders were tramping about the place. They were to start the following week, and as her visit to Tanya was due the week after, she saw no other course but to leave her visit for a later date.
Tanya had not been sorry about this, as she had been secretly dreading Connie's arrival. Connie knew her a little too well to be fooled into believing she was happy. She saw too much, and Tanya couldn't have borne it
if she had bluntly said so, for unhappy or not, she had no choice but to make the best of things.
In a way, Tanya thought, as she collected her wrap and left her suite to join Lloyd, it was history repeating itself. Like her mother, she had fallen in love with a man she couldn't have. There was only one little difference, she told herself bitterly. Lloyd had loved her mother, whereas Kade
The murmur of voices floated towards her as she approached the lounge, and her thoughts were still miles away as she entered the room. If they had not been she might have recognised the deep voice of the man standing beside Lloyd by the bar at the end of the room.
Lloyd's hearty, 'Look who's here' made her focus her wide eyes still with that faraway look in them on the tall bronzed figure of the man she had just been thinking of.
Somehow she forced her weak legs to walk forward and held out a polite hand for him to take in greeting, murmuring in a voice she hardly recognised as her own, 'This is a surprise, why didn't you tell us you were coming?'
'It was a snap decision,' replied Kade, his blue stare seeming to engulf her. 'I've just been to a meeting in New York, so I thought I might as well call in while I'm here.' Still keeping his eyes on Tanya, he commented, 'Looks as if I've chosen the wrong evening, you're just about to go off somewhere, aren't you?'
Part of Tanya wanted to hear Lloyd say that they weren't going anywhere special, and of course they could cancel it. That was the part that belonged to her heart. The other part—the level-headed side of her
wanted to hear him say that they couldn't very well cancel their plans at this late hour and regretted the fact that they would have to go ahead and keep their appointment.
In the event Lloyd complied with both of her wishes by saying, 'Well, I guess we don't both have to go.' He looked back at the now wary-eyed Tanya. 'We can't both drop out at this hour. I'll leave you to entertain our guest, Tanya. I'll put in an appearance for the Cowleys' dinner, and try to get away early. How's that?' he asked cheerfully.
Tanya tried her best to look grateful, but wasn't sure she succeeded, judging by the familiar mocking look lurking in Kade's eyes. He knows I don't want to be alone with him, she thought as her pulse rate increased at the very thought.
There was a little more small talk before Lloyd left them, charging Tanya with the task of keeping Kade's glass filled, and showing him the garden of which he was justly proud. 'I take it you're staying the night?' he asked Kade, before he left, and to Tanya's further consternation Kade had given a confirming nod and drawled, 'Several, if convenient.'
Lloyd was pleased about this if Tanya wasn't, and gave an approving nod. 'In that case, I needn't rush back,' he answered with a grin.
During the silence that followed Lloyd's departure, Tanya wondered if Kade could hear her thudding heartbeats, and when he quickly finished his whisky she almost rushed to refill his glass. Her nervous hand never reached the bottle as Kade's strong one closed over it. 'Later, Tanya. I want to talk to you,' he said softly.
Tanya snatched her hand away from the contact that
had sent her pulse rate soaring. It was so easy for him, she thought bitterly. Everything was going his way. Was it falling in love that had made him see how shabbily he had treated her? Did he want to make sure that she was happy? If she had been beaten twice a day by Llo
yd, she wouldn't have told him !
She remembered the cheque that she had never thanked him for. It was a much larger sum than she was entitled to, even with the house included, but somehow she had never been able to write and thank him. 'Thank you for your cheque,' she said stiffly, quite unable to meet his eyes. 'It was more than I should have had,' she ended lamely.
'Blast the cheque! ' exploded Kade savagely. 'I didn't come to talk about that.'
Tanya's lovely grey-green eyes met his squarely. 'What did you come for, Kade? To see how I'm faring?' She moved away from him, her slim back straight, and did a little pirouette as she turned to face him. 'I'm very well, as you can see,' she said lightly. 'Now what else can we talk about? Or shall I show you the garden? It really is worth seeing,' she added, on a rising note of panic as she saw Kade stride purposefully towards her. 'I'm not in your territory now, Kade Player,' she said, as she backed towards the door. 'This is Lloyd's house.'